nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, November 5, 2013

    new lost footage of jimi hendrix surfaces 

    this ones for ali miller aka strattacaster

    the only person i know who loves jimi more than me

    she named herself after his magic flute

    Update: a kind commentator below reminds us that there’s a PBS special on Jimi tonight. In LA the 2-hour American Masters special is on KOCE (channel 50) at 9pm.

  2. Monday, March 25, 2013
  3. Saturday, February 2, 2013
  4. Sunday, January 20, 2013

    first second term black president of the united states 

    barack obama west adams

    it seems like just yesterday i was seeing barack obama speaking in LA for the second time.

    the first time i saw him speak was at a park in south central LA. he was pretty good and people were excited, but he was a long shot to even win the democrat primary

    and to be honest his speech didn’t do much for me.


    the second time i saw him was a few months later at the gibson amphitheatre.

    it was free, the goo goo dolls and ne-yo performed, and yet he couldnt get 7,000 people to show up.


    he was losing to hillary in many states, including california, but he had buzz

    his speech at the Gibson was less bad than his one in West Adams, but i was still skeptical

    one thing led to another and suddenly he’s on his second term as president of the world, no big deal.

    and its confirmed: im a moran

    second term bam

    bin laden dead

    gaddafi dead


    tsar’s back

    weed’s legal in two states

    gays can say they gay in the army

    dudes can totally just jump from space

    the clippers are the best team in hoops

    you can get a 50 inch flat screen tv for less than $500

    so if i was obama id be all, what more do you want from me?

    and id say

    nationalize gasoline

    close gitmo like you promised you would

    dismantle the fcc

    put jimmy hendrix on the two dollar coin

    knock off the nonsense with cuba

    put Lemmy on a stamp

    and let women have the same rights as men

    starting with toplessness at the beach

    for starters.

  5. Monday, December 3, 2012

    whole lotta love 

    president barack obama giving love to the mighty led zeppelin.

    perfect speech for a perfect band.

    my first zeppelin record was actually my mom’s.

    she had zeppelin 4 along with hendrix, barry manilow, elton john, and woodstock.

    stairway of course was easily recognizable but it took ac/dc for me to realize what was in our home all along: hard rock.

    then senior year of highschool, one laura hesterman gave me zeppelin 1 and 2 for my 17th birthday.

    later id take her to see Sixteen Candles which she kissed me for afterwards

    and my mind pretty much exploded just like the guitar solo theramin magic during whole lotta love.

    im seen tons of concerts but never saw page, plant or even jason bonham.

    and im ok with that for sometimes its nice to have some things simply be mythical.

  6. Tuesday, November 27, 2012

    if i was president id put Jimi Hendrix on the $11 bill 

    which is one reason theyd never let me be president.

    the Hendrix $11 bill would be something people would save.

    or theyd give it as a gift to people, especially kids.

    retailers would be all, “12 Pack Bottles for a Hendrix”.

    or better yet.

    “All CDs, 1 Hendrix Each.”

    i mean seriously:

    jimi hendrix would have turned 70 today.

    a true american original

    and virtuoso.

    we have had exactly


    hendrix’s since he died.

    and thats why he should be on the eleven dollar bill.

  7. Monday, November 19, 2012

    todays ali’s birthday, shes 24 

    born in LA, raised in LA,

    went to college in LA,

    coulda been in NYC right now but instead decided to launch the biggest video game in the world

    from LA

    ali is everything and nothing youd expect

    the instinct in some vehicles
    is to smash the pedal to the floor

    and crank the jams

    although ali would appreciate that as much as the next young lady,

    she actually has a specific playlist for said occasion

    so taker easy cowboy.

    ali just moved across town.

    she lives next door to perfection.

    she has wheels of steel in her bachelorette pad

    where a television should be.

    ali drinks whiskey, neat,

    will perk up at the strains of hendrix,

    and is far more interesting than these tiny little paragraphs but some things are best left to legend.

    she did save my life in las vegas not once but twice which cancels itself out,

    but im grateful nevertheless.

    happy birthday ali!

  8. Saturday, October 29, 2011

    if obama was smart he’d put jimi hendrix on the dollar 


    but not the dollar bill, thats old currency

    obama should put hendrix on the new silver dollar they keep talking about.

    apparently the george washington paper bill cost too much to make and replace all the time

    so they want a coin like they have in canada -the loony.

    experts say the coins could save the US 5-6 billion clams

    americans seem to think that they will mistake a dollar coin from a quarter when they reach in their pocket.

    but nowadays people dont have as much money as they used to, so something tells me

    no one is just going to casually flip someone a dollar coin when they think its a quarter

    people will be paying more attention these days

    especially, i say, if jimi’s head is on one side

    and him burning his stratacastor is on the flip side.

    in fact i bet people might just start collecting those american dollar coins

    especially if there are new ones every year or so.

    youre welcome.

  9. Tuesday, July 19, 2011

    this whole place is a free speech area 

    took this picture at the orange county fair and it made me wonder what the hell happened to my country

    i thought this was the land of the free and the home of the brave?

    when was the last time you saw someone act super free

    or omg brave.

    and this is the Land of that?

    bible talks about the land of milk and honey

    but craziest thing about that book, spoiler alert

    no matter that its a gazillion pages long,

    you never get to actually see said land of milk and honey.

    not only dont most of the exodus jews ever make it to the promise land

    but moses isn’t even permitted b/c of some illegal activity he committed in his pre burning bush youth.

    dont get me started about the youth.

    pretty girl had me listening to hendrix the other day. wheres todays youths hendrix?

    didnt we once used to be the land of the lead guitarists?

    wheres todays great young shredder.

    wasnt gen x the slackers?

    this whole PLACE is a free speech area!

    not just the crappy grass next to the pony rides.

    steve jobs and al gore gave you all the crayons and paper ever

    make something that doesnt suck.

    even if its selfless.

    even if its risky.

  10. Thursday, April 8, 2010

    the proust questionnaire 

    What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
    to have lived without ever experiencing true love

    Where would you like to live?
    6850 del playa, isla vista, ca 93117

    What is your idea of earthly happiness?
    eating a lot, then drinking a lot, then loving a lot, then sleeping alot
    and waking up without a hangover or any regrets

    Who are your favorite heroes of fiction?
    henry chinaski, nick adams, homer simpson

    Who are your favorite characters in history?
    moses, mike tyson, kurt cobain, and oj

    Who are your favorite heroines in real life?
    american single black moms

    Who are your favorite heroines of fiction?
    the girl in Cruddy, the sister in Vurt, and uma thurman’s character in Kill Bill 2

    Your favorite painter?

    Your favorite musician?

    The quality you most admire in a man?

    The quality you most admire in a woman?

    Your favorite virtue?

    To what faults do you feel most indulgent?
    eating fast foods and sweets daily if not hourly

    Your favorite occupation?
    weekend days when i lay in bed and pushing the limits of laziness

    Who would you have liked to be?
    Evel Knievel

    Your most marked characteristic?

    The quality you most like in a man?

    The quality you most like in a woman?
    having the courage to take fashion risks

    What do you most value in your friends?

    What is your principle defect?

    What is your dream of happiness?
    to be able to fully appreciate an entire hour of my day, one day.

    What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes?
    to die before seeing the Cubs win it all.

    What would you like to be?

    In what country would you like to live?
    id like to live in the land of the free and the home of the brave

    What is your favorite color?

    What is your favorite flower?

    What is your favorite bird?
    The Fidrych

    Who are your favorite prose writers?
    Ronald Sukenick, Mark Twain

    Who are your favoite poets?
    Bukowski, WC Williams, Milton, Hopkins

    Who are your favorite composers?
    Young Young & Scott

    What are your favorite names?
    kumquat, Asperger, and Merle

    What is it you most dislike?
    how time flies

    What natural gift would you most like to possess?

    How would you like to die?
    Being ripped to shreds by sharks after saving a drowning baby

    What is your present state of mind?
    disappointed that im not more clever after all these years

    What is your motto?
    if you’re not hearing “no”, you’re probably playing it too safe