nothing in here is true

  1. Monday, May 19, 2014
  2. Monday, April 29, 2013

    went hiking today because i drank so much this weekend 


    the view was aaaaight


    first i went to runyon but on Mondays theres street cleaning from noon to 2 and i was there at 1 so i drove to The Greek


    but i saw this super lo-fi street art that screamed “buy more shit. more more more” and i was all, this is perfect for LA


    so when i passed this atm i yelled BUY MORE CRAP MORE MORE MORE


    and then i bought three dusty grills and a cooler. lucky me, the cooler was full of vintage porn. sadly it was of me. god im old.


    so i went hiking cuz bikini season is right around the corner and omg im a whale.


    made it to the top of Mt. Hollywood no prob which is weird cuz i havent exercised in weeks. i’ll tell you weds if im hurting.


    i wonder if johnny appleseed planted those palm trees


    i wonder if johnny applefence made this fence


    for sure johnny apple mason made this meeting hall where tsar should play and we take over kcsb and air it and go to jail.

  3. Saturday, February 23, 2013
  4. Tuesday, October 30, 2012
  5. Monday, April 2, 2012

    haters’ll make you think the smog is so thick in LA you can chew it 

    a film they’ll tell you the girls are all stuck up
    and as phony as a movie set.
    and the rent is too damn high
    and the traffic is gridlocked erryday
    and the crips and the bloods driveby
    selling drugs to kids
    and if you dont buy the drugs
    they’ll shoot you
    but not to kill,
    just to wound,
    so you’ll actually need drugs
    and then they’ll affix
    a slight penalty charge on the invoice.
    then they’ll blacklist you at all
    the good restaurants on the westside
    (theres only one)
    forcing you to use an alias
    when placing reservations
    but when you retrive your car from the valet
    your stations’ll be changed.
    haters’ll have you believe
    that either its super hot in LA
    or the mountains are on fire with flames
    or there will be crazy mudslides
    when there arent earthquakes n riots.
    they’ll say there are so many illegal immigrants
    that all you’ll hear floating out windows
    will be the most beautiful melodies
    sung in charming foreign tongues.
    but one thing
    even haters cant believe
    is how clear the skies are
    above LA sunday
    after a particularly windy
    saturday night.
    ‘its almost too bright.’

  6. Monday, June 6, 2011

    it was pretty beautiful hiking yesterday 

    just hot enough to wipe the sweat from ones brow twice in an hour

    karisa led the way at a steady pace

    we talked about world news and the latest releases in the book world.

    debated whether kim kardashian should take her husbands name like she plans

    no smog

    or should she keep her more famous nomiker.

    we saw a lot of people with those weirdo shoes that look like feet and toes

    ive gotta get a pair of those things

    it was so clear and beautiful and warm and perfect

    that i had to take a little bit of video to show you how amazing it was.

    hope you like.

  7. Sunday, February 13, 2011
  8. Monday, October 26, 2009

    i dont think youre ready for this belly 

    tony pierce belly cubs hatgonna try to blog without saying omg everythign was so awesome omg my life is so great.

    going on the ninth year of writing the busblog and the question today is what new ways can i talk about my days, which are all awesome, duh. even the sad parts are interesting.

    funny thing happened the other day. truest was over so i wanted to impress her with my PS3-playing skillz.

    i was all, “ok i can only play this game for 10 minutes because i get super nauseous”. it was an off road racing game, and i was kicking major bootay and i swear to you i was sick in the head and the stomach for a good two hours.

    maybe a bad two hours is how i should say it.

    yesterday karisa took me on a bday hike. we hadnt hiked for half a year. im not the best person for an experienced hiker to hike with because a) i dont like to share my 40’s, b) i like to flash my big belly at the paps (pictured, right) c) im in no damn rush and like to enjoy the views d) i have LOTS of toxins, and when they get sweated out, even the flies are all what the heck!

    anyways we went up temscula canyon which is in between brentwood (where OJ used to live) and pacific palisades (where he used to golf). it was a beautiful day. 80 degrees maybe? not a cloud in the sky. and apparently because ive been running twice a week i didnt suck so bad on this hike. in fact it was a pleasure from top to bottom.

    afterward we ate monkfish at the Reel Inn. karisa says that monkfish is “the poor mans lobstah” and i gotta say it does have that sort of texture. quite good.

    then i went home, read the bible, got in a very short cleaning groove, and read more of the bible.

    somewhere in there i started watching this black real world thing called “College Hill” on BET. very funny. no Tool Academy, but really good. people are crazy, yo.

    speaking of crazy, this week is gonna be nuts.

    this week i have tickets to Regina Spektor, a discussion with R. Crumb, and a Halloween costume party with Danielle K. with musical guests Sea Wolf. then somewhere in there will be a birthday party for a good man.

    and somewhere in there will be me considering putting my PS3 and half dozen games up for auction because theres enough things in real life that make my stomach turn for the worse, i really dont need that in my friendly confines.

    bababooey to you all