busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, July 4, 2017

    todays the fourth of july 

    the day all the good little boys and girls get to flee from their tyrannical countries

    which are unsafe, underserved, and riddled with dirty air water and old men.

    bring me your bags of cash the statue says

    which oil company do you work for asks the survey

    charlie cant read, but his driver can and fills out the paperwork

    gets his hand stamped,

    tips the doorman

    and voila: americano.

    when you run the country like a business

    your closets become stuffed with receipts.

  2. Thursday, November 24, 2016

    do i have anything to be thankful for? i do. 

    tumblr_o3fc93v5jj1v698nuo1_500

    starting with you, my family, and friends,

    family

    and all the great food we get to enjoy.

    cubs world series ring

    the Cubs of course especially Theo Epstein and the brewers of Old Style Beer.

    old style

    I am thankful for my health, and the health of Emily Ratajkowski.

    emily

    I am thankful for my great job,

    oscars

    my side hustle,

    when uber was fun

    and high speed internet. I am thankful for my cats even though they are super weird and pretty much ungrateful and entitled.

    cats

    I’m thankful for my khaleesi

    khaleesi

    and all my Uber and Lyft passengers who all want to take selfies with me for some reason.

    obey peace

    I am thankful for the Obey sample sale, Howard Stern, Baba Booey, Fred, Sour Shoes,

    howard stern and beth stern

    Fat Artie, and Robin’s health. I am thankful for the Internet, all my past and future loves.

    JAG2

    I am thankful for German engineering, Mike Tyson,

    xbi mobile in dtla next to mike tyson

    and all my high school friends who have now had their dreams come true

    friends

    – thanks to the Cubs, Theo and the brewers of Old Style.

    rihanna

     

    I’m thankful for Taylor Swift, Rihanna, cheap gas, Anna Kournikova,

    bukowski

    Charles Bukowski, Iceberg Slim, the Truest,

    kanye smiling bc he's happy

    and I pray for good health for Kanye West.

    springsteen on the sunset strip

    I’m grateful for Little Armenia, Hollywood Blvd., and Sunset Blvd where the freaks come out.

    obama trump

    I am thankful for my president, Canadian McDonalds,

    the pants

    all of the jobs of my past, the voters of California who made weed legal,

    isla vista

    Isla Vista, rock music,

     

    hippie friends

    my college friends who continue to rock, the Hollywood Bowl,

    sass and her friend in my crib

    Canadians who move to Cali,

    bono and friends

    the readers of the busblog, the moon,

    books

    my favorite book The Bible, KFC $5 Fillups,

    shortsop tyler

    left handed leadoff hitting shortstops who happen to be my nephew,

    jeff solomon lincoln

    and President Abraham Solomon

  3. Saturday, July 4, 2015
  4. Friday, October 31, 2014
  5. Wednesday, April 16, 2014

    the secret to LA is youve gotta enjoy the view 

    1611719_10152329549393057_893305877_o

    this is the 101 freeway at vermont. the hollywood freeway. almost always packed. never beautiful.

    until today.

    today was the day that you decided that no matter what

    you were gonna find the beauty in the situation and it’s chocolatey creamy center:

    the love.

    the love of the 101 is it gets you from downtown to the valley and if you want up through santa barbara

    santa cruz, frisco, eureka and up into oregon.

    if i had an adventurous girlfriend id say baby pack yr overalls we’re gonna see what the 101 has to offer.

    and we’d probably just end it in isla vista

    but sometimes it’s the bad idea that counts.

    and im here for all yr bad idea needs.

    10248502_10152331792908057_1834808831_o

    my favorite car wash has the most interesting technique, BEFORE you go into the machine wash deal,

    one, sometimes two dudes soap up yr ride and then spray it off before they send you through the thing

    then as its rinsing they might squirt a little stream at yr backside to make sure everythings gone

    you give em a few extra bucks but it dont matter: the $6 wash, $8 with tip is always top notch

    its at the chevron across the street from the chevron on beverly and la brea

    just two blocks from quentin tarantinos movie theatre.

    tell em merle sent ya

    10248570_10152332044773057_2085309965_o

    the cats love me now for some reason. maybe cuz i was gone a few days and they starved.

    one of them tries to meow but its in a different language, like maybe hes deaf. its almost a chirp.

    the other cats look down on him for it, but omg hes so happy when i get home. he runs ahead of me like a dog

    climbs up my stairs, jets into my house and later remembers hes supposed to be afraid of me for some reason

    (cuz im black) and then darts back almost outside but loiters near the door.

    all of these cats pretend like you cant tell em what to do, that theyre on their own schedule

    but only one of us has the 50 cent an ounce cat food and it aint them.

    and when it is they fight over it, but never finish it.

    they all cray

    10263237_10152331503848057_1939907143_o

    went to the pharmacy the other day to get a refil on my high blood pressure pills.

    xbi doesnt like the pills cuz it messes up their pee tests

    they dont know whats in my body.

    i was all sugar and spice and everything

    they were all no, like did you smoke crack, etc

    i was like

    you can read my mind just esp me and i’ll tell you

    but they didn’t.

    they wanted unadulterated urine and i was all you sick kinky sickos

    so via phone i was able to order a refill of the pills in like one minute

    and schedule a time i would pick it up, and when i did, boom, there was my junk

    total price $4.40

    10272971_10152331794813057_960622463_o

    but the best part of this week was watching all the nice jewish people celebrate passover

    every holiday should be a holiday. we only live once.

    and how often do we really live during our lifetime?

    getting drunk doesnt count, getting naked doesnt count

    they do count but you can really live without going to the extremes

    driving fast doesnt count,

    to me it means doing stuff interestingly enough

    you totally forget if you have to pee.

    cubs got swept today

    jeanine didnt call me

    danielle did

    played lana del rey for these 15 year olds.

    they talked like they didnt even hear it.

  6. Friday, February 14, 2014
  7. Friday, January 3, 2014
  8. Sunday, October 13, 2013
  9. Monday, May 6, 2013

    and now the grossest pictures of me ever, with the color juiced up way high 

    teeth

    had to go to the dentist today because i need to get the xbi tracking device out of my molar

    IMG_1863

    dont ask me why they had to make it look like i had the yellowest teeth in the world, but maybe that helps them in some way

    whatevs, now i never need to stress out on taking a bad picture because nothing is worse than this

    happy monday!

    to cleanse your pallet, heres the best image that was on TV yesterday from the bleachers at Wrigley

    cubs cinco

    happy cinco de mayo!

  10. Wednesday, November 21, 2012

    the only problem with holidays 

    wolfis i have to deal with questions from relatives about my marital status.

    usually i lie and say i have many wives and we all laugh.

    occasionally someone will say maybe the boy is gay.

    and i’ll say if i was gay wouldnt i dress better?

    truth of the matter is its not very responsible to flirt with the xbi and have a significant other

    my shrink says i sabotage relationships psychologically so that no ones hurt if something tragic happens if im flying chopper one and it goes down.

    which is why i stopped seeing her after one consultation.

    the thing is people are complicated beasts.

    the other thing is i hate fighting and it seems to me that you have to endure an awful lot of battles to keep a sexual relationship going.

    im willing to have 1 maybe 2 fights a month. tops. for 5 minutes each.

    if we’re spending more time stewing than kissing, im out. i dont care who you are. or who your best friend is.

    life is tough enough in the real world. when i come home i dont wanna do anything but slip into something comfortable, crank some some sweet jams, and lick wounds.

    the problem is it seems like theres only a handful of people who get that. that fun is job one of love.

    theres always an agenda. theres usually more on the menu.

    also, i may be a wolf

    in wrinkled sheeps clothing.