busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Friday, August 21, 2015

    LA is a city on the planet and the NYT is on it! 

    terrible tweetheres the problem with the New York Times, they have this foolish desire to cover Los Angeles.

    actually that desire isn’t terrible unto it self, but what’s dumb is they take new yorkers and move them to LA and have them write about it AS IF THERE ARE NO ACTUAL LOCALS WHO COULD DO IT BETTER.

    case in point, adam nagourney, who is the NYT’s LA bureau chief, who today blocked me on Twitter (?!) because I called him out on his shitty non-story about some new Sunset Strip hotels and his shittier tweet to hype it (above).

    the thesis of his far-too-long piece is OMG THEY SHUT DOWN THE HOUSE OF BLUES WHICH JUST HAPPENS TO BE ON THE SUNSET STRIP and guess what, guys, THEYRE BUILDING A LUXURY HOTEL !!!!11!1

    anyone who has lived in LA for more than a handful of years knows that the House of Blues was not a go-to club. it was a place you reluctantly went to because Bad Religion or Social D or GWAR was going to play there. Maybe you’d take some out of towners there to see Steel Panther or the Gospel Brunch.

    on the raaaaare occasion someone actually good would be there, but for the two dozen or so times that I’ve been there my favorite show was probably when Britney Spears did a 15 minute comeback lipsync secret show there billed as the M+Ms.

    at it’s heart, House of Blues was a corporate chain that eventually got bought by the most corporate of all chains, Live Nation, who is a wolf in sheep’s clothing called Ticketmaster.

    dudeONLY the NYT would try to make us shed a tear over a mediocre club owned by Ticketmaster being razed to build a high rise hotel.

    by the way, none of this has to do with The Doors, who played in LOTS of places in LA a half century ago, and yes one of the venues they rocked was The Whiskey which is a curvy mile away. Big whoop. (also the strip hasnt been “gritty” in decades.)

    If a local journalist would have written about it instead of someone who parachuted  in a couple of years ago, it might have been about how a) no one really loved that club anyways b) how after seeing the renovation of the Riot Hyatt into the Andaz across the street from the HOB and the ongoing success of the Mondrian next door or the Standard two blocks away OF COURSE a ticket corporation like Ticketmaster who actually doesn’t care about music would turn their club into a luxury hotel and c) this is more proof that the Sunset Strip is less about music (that trend has been moving east to Echo Park and DTLA since before poor adam moved west) and more about luxe.

    instead NY Adam interviews a nearby hotelier who claims the sky is now falling (because omg competition) and the Roxy’s Nic Adler who rightfully says this is a non story. BUT WHY WOULD YOU EVER BELIEVE THE SON OF THE MAN WHO HELPED PUT ROCK ON THE MAP ON THE SUNSET STRIP?!

    instead let’s publish another trend piece about LA that people in LA will laugh about because as Curbed LA wrote perfectly earlier this yearNew York Times stories about Los Angeles are amazing because they’re like seeing the city through the eyes of a dorky time traveler from 1992.”

    add one more to the list, boys, but be careful, nyc adam might omg block you from the twitters.

    blocked

     

  2. Tuesday, August 18, 2015

    took a little walk last night because it had finally cooled off 

    american apparel

    heard American Apparel may go out of business.

    felt bad for Dov, Sass, all the workers, as well as the billboard salespeople

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    maybe the geniuses who stole the company away from Dov can get into the trashy office business

    apparently business is Great!

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    my first real job out of college i had a briefcase. and then never again.

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    when people talk about Corvettes, they really should stop talking about them after 1982

    here is a great reason why.

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    i posted a lot of these on Instagram to do some “live Instagramming” but im pretty sure it just annoyed people

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    it was so late at night the freeways were free

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    the 80s called. they want to play at your rock club.

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    who knew Bill Maher had a star on the walk of fame?

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    who knew Batman didn’t?

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    Hollywood: where even the traffic cones are bossy

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    the problem with the electronic age is ppl’s penmanship is seriously lacking.

    THATS what you should apologize about, neighbor

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    when I saw i hit my walking goal i hopped on the subway

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    dont let anyone tell you we dont ride the subways – even late at night – in Hollywood

  3. Monday, April 27, 2015

    they called it the bates motel because it’s on sunset and bates 

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    ive lived in hollywood a long time and as long as ive been here it’s been abandoned

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    in the early days of the abandonment hookers used it as their offices

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    later crackheads used it to do their business.

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    after a while they boarded it up and it became the home for ghosts and bad memories

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    the only time something pleasant happened near it was when the Sunset Junction Street Fair would rock out near it

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    but then one thing led to another and greed seeped it followed by a flood of ignorance

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    and the Sunset Junction Street Fair ended and the Bates Motel fell into absolute disrepair

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    until last week when an artist had a vision to paint it all white

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    even the trees. and now so many people have shown up to look at it in awe that theres bad traffic there

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    success

  4. Monday, March 30, 2015

    i had a fantastic weekend of driving, sushi, and friends 

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    saturday was the two year anniversary of Little Joy and it was also Lily’s birthday.

    in attendance were many LA Times youngsters and even Sarah’s bff Lindsay who showed me her unlimited Tap pass because she works for Metro and loves taking the bus everywhere.

    so jeals

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    earlier in the day i said goodbye to Andy who is moving back to Chicago. mark, audrey and mr. fluffy helped him polish off some carne at his bbq right by the beach.

    HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT ANDY LIVED LITERALLY A BLOCK FROM THE BEACH?

    he gave me an awesome Taschen book about the Police in 80-83 (their best years.)

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    back to Lily, she had a pinata but no stick so she violently bashed it against the riser in the back secret room and glow sticks and dinosaurs flew out which was a wonderful surprise.

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    sarah as always looked beautiful but moreso than ever.

    i drank and drank and later walked down to my favorite taco truck and got two for the road.

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    before all of that i ubered for 10 hours on saturday and hit my goal on my last ride with this handsome british actor who is starring in a Fox pilot loosely based on when Rivers of Weezer quit the band to go to Harvard.

    i was all bro youre way too handsome to play Rivers

    he said, welcome to Hollywood, G!

  5. Tuesday, January 20, 2015

    theres a guy who wants to build a restaurant bar 200 feet from my apartment 

    pete rose

    he swears he wants to form a bond with the neighbors here.

    yet he has his guys jackhammer the building starting at 8am on saturday

    and now 8:45am on tuesday.

    while its nice that he gave his workers MLK day off, it’s weird that he thinks hes going to make friends by waking everyone up on saturdays.

    how did pete rose get banned from baseball and yet dickweeds and imbeciles get to own parts of hollywood, do ridiculous things selfishly

    and think they can just have whatever they want.

    i wrote a letter a while ago that said if he tries to squeeze this thing into our hood, a place that already has major parking issues

    im just gonna call the cops every night for disturbing the peace

    and i only lie on this blog

  6. Tuesday, January 13, 2015

    pretty girl said if your dishes are clean i’ll come over tomorrow 

    wrestlingso there i was at 2am this morning doing my dishes.

    then i heard what sounded like an angry knock at my door. AT 2AM!

    i knew it wasnt her because getting her to come over is an intense chess match that rarely ends in anything other than a draw, meaning she stops texting and i fall asleep on the couch.

    THEN I HEARD THREE MORE POUNDS ON MY DOOR!

    BANG

    BANG-BANG!

    my cats scattered away from the door and as i got closer to it i saw what looked like a rhino

    trying to push through the door.

    it was a wallop like ive never seen before.

    WHAT THE FUCK! i screamed, automatically, beastmode style. pure animalistically.

    the visitor heard my shout and ran down my stairs and towards my next door neighbor’s place.

    then i heard glass shatter. no kidding. not lying.

    my neighbor is a beautiful woman and petite and she lives alone. her front door, unlike mine, is french glass. mostly glass.

    i was terrified the brute had broken down her door and was headed up her stairs to kill her – or worse!

    first i dialed her number, but after two rings i called 9-1-1 instead.

    soon the cops had arrived but the creep was gone.

    turned out he was a young blond man with a hoodie, a drunk. who the cops nor the church members ever caught.

    but it did get all of us neighbors out of our comfort zones to introduce ourselves to each other.

    and made me try to remember where i put my aluminum baseball bat

    which i couldnt find last night in a split second.

    it’s weird when you’re the scaredest youve ever been and all you can find is a hand axe.

  7. Monday, November 3, 2014

    sophia loren wont autograph this picture but she’ll talk about it 

    Loren and Mansfield

    Entertainment Weekly has the scoop on one of the most classic photos from classic Hollywood: the time Sophia Loren was introduced to Jayne Mansfield.

    EW: This photo was taken when you were still very new to Hollywood.

    SOPHIA LOREN: Yes, Paramount had organized a party for me. All of cinema was there, it was incredible. And then comes in Jayne Mansfield, the last one to come. For me, that was when it got amazing.

    EW: What did she do when she got there?

    SL: She came right for my table. She knew everyone was watching. She sat down. And now, she was barely… Listen. Look at the picture. Where are my eyes? I’m staring at her nipples because I am afraid they are about to come onto my plate. In my face you can see the fear. I’m so frightened that everything in her dress is going to blow—BOOM!—and spill all over the table.

    Find out why Loren won’t sign this picture over at EW.

  8. Thursday, July 24, 2014

    i had a really good day today 

    ocean park

    achieved a goal at real work.
    ate an umami burger at lunch.
    drove some cool people around LA.
    ate a good turkeyburger at carls jr.

    came home to the two fluffy cats waiting for me.
    when its hot the bowls of water run out fast
    they want that as much as they want the food
    but they do this super weird thing.
    they walk between my legs as if they Wanted to trip me.
    they zig as i zag and if i stop they stop.
    we both know we’re going to my front door to get the mail
    and then get them their food and beers.
    now they jump into my house and investigate as i get the grub.
    then the shy one bounds out from under the house and circles my porch.

    all of their meows are bizarre. not one of them has a normal one.
    huge flying cockroach came outta the food bag and climbed up my arm.
    i screamed like a 6th grade girl which super freaked out scaredy cat.
    i hunted down that cockroachbeast, killed it, and kicked its guts outside
    i know it’s dry out there fellas but theres plenty of food
    and water and everything right behind the thai restaurant, seriously.

    then remembered danielle had blogged for the first time in forever
    and man was it good, but man was it sad.
    give yr girl a shoutout the next time you say your prayers.

  9. Thursday, July 10, 2014

    i learn a lot at my real job like this today: 

    marlene dietrichturns out marlene dietrich was a violin player before she was an actress

    she also played the piano and sang,

    thus when you see her in the Blue Angel thats really her.

    she said she wore “mannish” clothes because women in Europe did in the daytime.

    she said she loved bloggers and blogging and flying high above LA.

    she said she didn’t like to talk unless she had something to say.

    back in the day gossip columnists were way more powerful than they are today. so much so that the stars would go on their radio shows so they could tell their stories without the filter of the MSM.

    one day she was on the radio with Louella Parsons, a popular gossip columnist talking about being relatively new to Hollywood. this is how she ended her interview.

    Parsons: Do you find it easy to combine the duties of motherhood with those of being a successful actress?

    Dietrich: Yes, I do, because my daughter is the greatest incentive I could possibly have. I have never been so happy in my life as since I’ve had her.

    Parsons: Do you think little Maria will be an actress or a musician?

    Dietrich: I hope that she will have enough talent to become an actress because I think it is the most beautiful and interesting career a woman can have. And now, Miss Parsons, I would like to say goodnight. You see, I promised to tell my little daughter a story before she goes to bed and it’s getting late.

    marlene dietrich lived to be 90 years old and worked much of that time, she said to make money.

    i hope when im old im doing it for the same reason im doing it now: because i love it and i love being around smart people who are nice.

    the picture on the right is marlene supporting the troops back in the day.

  10. Sunday, June 15, 2014

    word is the power house is fixing to close at the end of the month 

    powerhouse back in the day

    my fondest memory of the power house was many moons ago.

    i hadnt seen the cuban girl in quite a while and i messaged her on myspace i think

    and we agreed to meet at hollywood dingiest dirtiest dive bar on highland just north of hollywood blvd.

    ever since i met her i thought she was so beautiful but the bible says thats a big fakeout

    it says look at peoples hearts like jesus does.

    she had a beautiful heart and for some reason she told me to eff off every time i said we should date again.

    she reminded me that i was a loser and i didnt have a good job and my jokes were terrible

    i said yes all of those things are true. but i never cheated on you. and we had fun.

    and we saw strange and unusual things plus so many rock shows.

    some of which were gross and horrible, she reminded me.

    and she said no again.

    and thats how we started dating again for a little while.

    so yes i will be sad to see that armpit go

    with its terrible booths where you can feel the springs.

    the last time i was in there i saw a very short black man dressed exactly like mr t.