nothing in here is true

  1. Thursday, July 19, 2018

    yesterday i was feeling so sick, so sad, so out of it 

    i pooped like five times. i nearly cried when i got home. i told amber to hug me but she just laughed

    because everyone laughs when im out of sorts.

    so i said please just hug me PLEASE

    and finally she did but it wasnt the best hug so i said, please go outside and find someone good at hugging and bring them here.

    first she brought this big fat guy who lives in a tent on the corner.

    and he was pretty good but it didnt work,

    then she brought OJ in, but meh

    then she paraded in the Swedish Bikini Team but they were too rough. i wanted a simple warm, gentle hug.

    so then amber tried again but nothing worked.

    so i clapped twice which turned the lights out, i sipped some water and just laid there with my eyes closed as she cooked some shrimp with tofu over rice.

    and i ate it and felt better.

    and i apologized to her for shunning all of her attempts at lovin me.

    and then around 11pm i felt better and no more poops tried to explode in my shorts

    and i took a long walk around Hollywood

    and counted my blessings.