a long time ago i had a beautiful and insightful girlfriend named Ashley.
one of her complaints about me was that she said i was never satisfied.
when she said it i didn’t believe it. ive always thought of myself as laissez-faire, chill, and laid back.
but now that amber and i have lived together for over a year, im beginning to see the wisdom in young ashley’s critique.
amber actually IS chill. she doesn’t complain about squat except if i have the tv on when shes trying to sleep. thats all.
me, i have a long list of things i want her to do, unasked for advice about her job, i’ll even take over the cooking when i see she’s not using 2x the amount of water thats necessary when shes making rice-based dishes.
is there any wonder ive been a bachelor my entire life? who could withstand such a barrage of negative blather from the man who was advertised as someone who allegedly doesnt give AF.
apparently i do. apparently i want everything a certain way. when you look at my house you dont see the results of a detail-orientated fellow, but if you live with me for more than a week, real tony shows up and HE HAS NOTES.
i hereby apologize to all of my girlfriends who had to withstand this. it’s not pretty, it’s not fun. it’s not funny.
im gonna get amber a bell, i want her to ring it every time i whine about something stupid.
maybe i will get her two.