nothing in here is true

  1. Wednesday, April 27, 2016

    theres things that make me sad, theres things that make me not sad 

    fishtheres things that bring me joy,

    theres things that bring me great joy

    the other day i saw something stupid

    the other day i saw true beauty

    sometimes the weirdest wonderful things occur

    sometimes i wonder why we bother

    this pretty girl noticed me

    this fucked up shit went down

    often im inspired in the oddest way

    and sometimes

    even when the holy ghost himself

    floats down from whereever he’s been watching

    and whispers in my ear


    yo tony

    dude bro!

    i dont even hear

    because im so obsessed with the noise of the mediocre

    im so in tune with the fake

    im keeping up with the wrong kardashians

    im paying the wrong piper

    as prince bowie and lemmy showed us there is an expiration date on our milk

    we need to drink it all in, we need to begin the beguine, we need to follow the honey, we need to combat rock

    we need to fish in the deep waters

    we need to do what hasnt been done

    we need to stop fighting the sun

    we need to stop fighting

    the son

    we need to

  2. Tuesday, April 19, 2016

    im going to the dentist in 15 minutes 

    babeif it seems like i go to the dentist a lot it’s because i do go to the dentist a lot.

    like michael anthony hall in sixteen candles, fresh breath is key to my life.

    i also have bleeding gums like bleeding gums murphy

    an old xbi ailment when then used to punch us in the face repeatedly so as to see if we really could not feel any more pain.

    the only pain i feel these days is in my soul.

    i look back at the things i did or said and i think was that the right choice?

    did i do the right things?

    should i have?

    shouldnt i have?

    i dont read old busblog posts because they can haunt me

    for whole minutes.

    i dont even like to be haunted for seconds.

    i like to enjoy this little breath of time that we have together on this magical planet.

    i like to feel love and be loved and eat and taste and dance the body electric.

    i dont have time for the flim flam pajama waltz of times gone by

    theres a reason they went by.

    now is the time of the zip zap.

    today is the day we should be on jet packs.

    the only reason we aint is because we dont believe we can.

    and some dont believe we deserve it.

    you deserve it sweet souls of today

    we all have earned the good

    simply by being

    children of the creator

    mirrors of his soul

    light of his life

    defenders of the boogie.

    now open up and say fuck yeah

  3. Wednesday, April 13, 2016

    sometimes you just hit it off 

    christinasometimes you dont

    sometimes everything you say they get it truly and go same same same

    sometimes you just want them to shhhh cuz uhhh

    then sometimes what was once incredible and necessary and required, fades



    and never comes back

    not even in the still silence of a desert sunset

    not even on a bet.

    sometimes when things arent connecting you dont even wanna look at them

    because for sure theyll be able to read it all over your face

    theyll read your mind or worse

    and sometimes when things are, you wanna hug em good bye like an old friend whos about to go off on a cruise around the world

    and further.

    sometimes life doesnt feel like a graphic novel at all.

    it feels like a jello shot festival.

  4. Monday, April 11, 2016

    all of my favorites were crazy 

    courtney and clintonwriters poets



    what happened to that

    this used to be that


    at what age will i return

    when will i let it

    everyones crazy

    why cant i

    when you drive a lot

    you see how little some people


    theyre on their phones texting

    theyre running red lights

    theyre doing their makeup and eating


    how does anyone drive with kids

    in there

    thats probably the scariest combo of all

    and yet im nervous about

    keeping it real

    or even worse

    letting the imagination just flow

    on nothing in here is true


  5. Wednesday, April 6, 2016

    my mom doesnt want me to drive so much 

    ice cream man coachella

    but i like driving. i like hitting goals. i like doing things people dont think i can do.

    i dont mind being exhausted. when you’re sore you know you broke through something.

    when youre beat you know you stretched as a person.

    i always want to be stretching as a person. when we die we stop stretching.

    when i go to heaven i want to go to the bar and i want to have a story to two to share with the fellas. they’re gonna be from all these fancy planets that i aint never heard of and i want to listen to their tales and drink and drink and

    i wanna be able to tell them what it was like here and what some of the crazy people did and said and i want to represent. i want them to say Earth was ok, sorry y’all blew it up.

    and i wanna say Earth is inside each and every one of us

    and i want one of them to say in a stuck up way, Earth isnt in me

    and i wanna stick my tongue in one of their orifices and say now it is.

    which would be gross anywhere but Heaven

    which is why we should all do our best to get there.


  6. Thursday, March 31, 2016

    my cat is being so nice to me, does it think i have cancer? 

    JYYbQCiremember that one creepy cat in that hospital who knew when people were dying? it would go into the rooms and chill with the people and a few days later they would croak.

    my boy cat Prince has been so nice, he normally doesnt cuddle, he normally sleeps at the foot of my bed. lately he has been right next to me when i wake up and right now hes in my lap as i blog.

    i feel healthy? i dont sense any cancer? i just got a check up and it checked out.

    if i am about to die, i loved you all, i feel blessed. i had a full life. i had good friends, cool jobs, and a parade of the most interesting women a mild mannered man could have.

    if only id lived long enough to have seen the Cubs win it all.


    i saw the first black president pull it off in spite of unprecedented cock blocking.

    i watched the rise of the Internet and the demise of boredom.

    i was able to publish my stupidest thoughts to millions of people and have so many of them right back and say right on tony.

    i was able to be a fake taxi driver, which is something i always wanted to do.

    i got to move to LA as a teen and learn it and live in it and love it and write for various newspapers and tell its story. trust me when i tell you, i never thought i was gonna be allowed to do even a smidge of that and voila.

    i got to self publish a couple of my own books which is the essence of freedom. and i loved them. and i am sad that Cafe Press pulled the plug on that feature before telling me or else i would have printed up a hundred more of stiff and how to blog. sorry charlies.

    i got to see my friends have beautiful babies and make kick ass rock n roll. i got to see sooooo much kick ass rock n roll.

    i got to walk the red carpet a few times and even get paid for it. how does that even happen?

    so if this cat is right and i only have a few hours to live, dont cry for me isla vista, it’s been a far better life than a boy from bumfuck illinois could have ever dreamed of

    whats this tuna fish doing in my pocket?

  7. Saturday, March 26, 2016


    daliwe need it to be creative

    lights need darks so you can see them

    dali knows this

    i know this

    but i avoid the dark

    i only indulge when i shouldnt

    in those instances i should be seeking out

    the light

    life is balance

    the auto balance is broken

    learn the manual

    life is mixtures

    life is fissures

    life is grand finales

    i never thought id see the end of rock n roll

    and yet

    if it was a river i havent seen any new big fish in quite a while

    maybe we need this darkness

    maybe this is the friction

    maybe this is the part where everything gets crazy (as a reaction to the chill) and it’s the stuff that will make yr mustache curl

  8. Thursday, March 10, 2016

    we’re not beverly hills dogs 

    beverly hills dogswe dont have to just sit there

    waiting for our chance to run.

    waiting on the benz to slow down over the speed bump

    or worse, looking at trees but thinking about a bowl of wet food by the garage door.

    the world is our fire hydrant.

    there are so many strange butts to sniff

    grass to roll around in

    full moons to yap at

    squirrels to chase

    balls to fetch

    trucks to get smooshed by

    holes to tunnel down

    sticks to break

    walls to stain

    nuts to lick

    and babes who wanna pet us.

    aint no reason to sit there and watch the world go by because like all those famous ppl sang

    we are the world

    we are the children

    we are the ones playing with julio down by the school yard.

    theres no extras in this game called life.

    so get ready

    cuz thats another speed bump ahead

  9. Wednesday, March 2, 2016

    just like in real life 

    red carpet

    often the best moments are before the network cameras get turned on.

    rock your life.

    keep inspiring everyone around you

    even if it doesnt seem like anyones around you.

    we’re all around you.

    waiting to be inspired.

  10. Sunday, February 21, 2016

    we are all africans 

    tumblr_o0sfkn6saY1qz72h4o1_r3_250imagine if you were able to teach your dog how to do morse code

    and at first you think he got lucky

    but then you realize he really knows what hes saying

    when he taps on the floor,

    Alpo is disgusting. i thought you loved me.

    for all we know, our words, our tweets, our blog posts

    our songs

    are all being broadcast to ends of the universe.

    and who knows, maybe something will leak out

    tumblr_o0sfkn6saY1qz72h4o4_r4_250to someone far far far far far away.

    and they’ll say to their friend,

    i heard the weirdest thing last night

    through the buzz and static and nonsense

    i could have sworn i heard someone say

    we are all africans.

    so i researched africa

    and it’s this giant continent

    on a planet called earth

    in the milky way galaxy.

    turns out, africa is hugely influential on the planet

    it’s where a good deal of its most popular music is derived fromtumblr_o0sfkn6saY1qz72h4o5_r4_250

    an ungodly amount of exotic plants, animals and minerals,

    but ironically one of the least powerful

    and poor

    places on the entire globe.

    and do you know why?

    neither do they.

    well let’s help them, the one says to the other.

    i was thinking the same thing, the other says to the one.

    but should we? should more advanced creatures


    others, simply because they seem interesting and deserving?

    shouldnt they figure it out on their own?

    what if they never figure it out, asked the one.

    tumblr_o0sfkn6saY1qz72h4o6_r4_250they will, eventually, the other told the one, but what a waste of time struggling to get there.

    imagine what they could have done with that time if they had known.

    and selfishly, imagine what they could contribute to us.

    and a sound unlike one they had never heard before whispered.

    we should do it said the one.

    it is done said the other.