busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Wednesday, July 27, 2016

    dear tony, where’s your jungle fever? 

    2893776813_7ee698ff28 Detective Diana asks, Why don’t you date black women? I’ve seen millions of pictures of you with women, women in your room, on your bed, in your arms, at your table, by your side, and none of them is black! (Your family doesn’t count!) Have you ever gone out with a black woman or do you have a “thing” for skinny white bitches with long (bottle job) blonde hair? And damn it, whyyyyy?

    i know it might look like i blog Evvvvvvery part of my life, but even at my most prolific i was only writing four times a day. take  the most boring man and in his day theres way more than four things to talk about.

    heres the deal with me and nubian princesses.

    when you are the only black kid in town, when you are going through puberty and all you see are white faces, thats what you are going to be attracted to.

    meanwhile when the only time you see faces that look like yours at family picnics and christmas and reunions and stuff, youre probably not going to be attracted to them because they look like your cousin or grandma or sister or auntie.

    but thanks to the world wide web of love and particularly blogging, the world famous reached across the sea

    and one day i caught the eye of a young lady in Holland who wrote a blog called Just A Girl.

    she was funny and smart and one thing i loved (and still love) about blogging is learning about other peoples cultures and food and weirdnesses that happen ANYWHERE ELSE but in the USA.

    which is probably why its no surprise that i have been such a huge fan of Canadian blogs.

    anyways JaG and i would link to each other and email and leave comments and one day

    the Dutch Government

    reached out to me and offered me a vacation in Amsterdam, all expenses paid, including hotel, bicycle, museum pass, and everything.

    i said whats the catch?

    they said no catch just put this little button on your blog and promise us that you will write ONE thing about your trip to the land of the nether

    i said done and done and i wrote JaG and i said America is about to invade

    and she sent me back this very picture

    JAG2

    and i flew to europe and she said something about a possible new boyfriend

    and i said something along the lines of hos in different area codes and she said i dont know that phrase

    i said, if you meet me IRL and you love me

    you must follow your heart.

    at the time i was working for Buzznet, which was Flickr before Flickr was Flickr

    it was also a great community of people from all around the world.

    i said baby im gonna have a Buzznet party and i want you and Bicycle Mark to come and everyone else who

    loves to party and she said done done done

    and i said no pressure but if we fall for each other you will be the first black girl i ever kissed

    so its a good thing you have this fake bf because you really should practice your kissing before i get there

    she laughed and said dont get your hopes up

    932564070_629c7a5829

    so we met and it was beautiful and we hit it off immediately and a party was thrown

    but it was i who was super nervous and i drank too much and i smoked too much and i ate too much and

    soon it was alllll being hurled into the spectacular amsterdam canal

    and i was all now ive blown it, who wants to kiss a guy with vomit breath

    and she escorted me to my five star hotel and she waited for me to brush my teeth and mouthwash my mouth

    and when i got out of the bedroom

    there she was

    and let me tell you this, detective,

    that girl had definitely practiced.

    two years later we reunited in canada

    and thats a story for a way different question.

  2. Friday, December 4, 2015

    today is Foxxy’s birthday, shes 24 

    foxxy and JaG

    back when everyone and their mother had a blog, Foxxy (pictured, left) had one that i loved.

    she musta loved mine too because she borrowed my disclaimer of “nothing in here is true”.

    the first time i ever met her was the last time i ever met her, im pretty sure, although now im not so sure.

    i think we all gathered at Keira-Anne’s bachelor apartment and walked along Lake Vancouver and then watched all the fireworks off the barge.

    and drank. omg. and drank.

    i said, Foxxy you’re even prettier in real life than i ever imagined, how about lets keep drinking after all these fireworks?

    she said, and do what?

    i said, do you remember that awesome black girl from Holland, Just A Girl?

    she said, yeah.

    i said, she’s in town too, and she’s gonna meet me at my hotel at midnight and im gonna show her my new breakdance moves.

    Foxxy was all, Just a Girl is really gonna be at your hotel at midnight? You? Dumbass busblog?

    I said, yeah!

    Foxxy said, fine but if we are there any later than 12:01 and theres no JustAGirl then i’m out.

    and as you can see from this photo they were amazed by my dance moves.

  3. Sunday, January 16, 2011

    omg why have i never heard this song before? 

    figures its JaG who turned me on to it.

    JaG of course who used to be one of the best bloggers in the world.

    and who should seriously consider telling us those sweet and sassy tales of being a dutch girl on the loose.

    may i recommend a simple Tumblr blaaaawwwwg.

  4. Wednesday, October 6, 2010

    your favorite lil dutch girl got a new tattoo! 

    but sadly it doesnt say busblog

    yes one of the hottest girls ive ever met, JustAGirl got inked up last night

    so to celebrate i asked her to share some info with you

    JaG: I haven’t been up to much did a 10 day detox from hell, hoping I won’t get sick this winter (as I did last winter and the year before that). I’ve got some great drugs in fridge and no one to do them with :-( magic mushrooms

    busblog: Detoxing from….?

    JaG: detoxing from everything toxic, no booze, no fat, lots of beans. it was not my favorite thing to do. At all.

    busblog: wait, your bf wont shroom with you?

    JaG: oh he will eventually, but shrooms are his least favorite drugs and they’re my favs! I was suppose to do them with a “friend” and then she stood me up. I think that was the first time someone stood me up! and I had awesome drugs!!! I mean, how did that happen??

    busblog: hows things with the dutch girls?

    JaG: It’s been months since I’ve last been with a girl and I don’t miss it now but we all know that’s just a matter of time ;-)

    busblog: speaking of, how’s work as a runway model?

    JaG: work is awesome and busy

    busblog: ok what music are you rocking out to?

    JaG: For some reason I like Patrick Watson and Sia and Bob Dylan always makes me happy too

    busblog: old Dylan? new?

    JaG: mostly old

    JaG: I’m working on getting my earlobes stretched

    busblog: please dont

    JaG: not much! just a few mm

    busblog: only annoying dudes in Frisco should do such things. leave your beautiful face alone

  5. Wednesday, April 1, 2009

    today is JaG’s birthday 

    only dutchgirl ive ever kissd, today she turns 24.

    JAg
    a long time ago she emailed me that she had a blog, it was pretty good so i bookmarked it and that was that.

    some might say that she was more smitten with me before i was with her

    some would say that now the tables are turned and i like her more than she likes me

    there are a lot of firsts with JaG n me, for example shes the first girl i ever ate sushi with in canada

    id love to say that she was the first to send me pics of herself in a plaid skirt, but i will say she sent me the first plaid skirt pic from europe. and for that reason alone i gladly say Happy Birthday JaG, and i hope you get some wooden shoes or something wooden today over there in amsterdamn

  6. Saturday, November 15, 2008

    JaG hangs with supermodels 

    they travel around europe. one of them won a contest to come to america.

    she wanted to take JaG but JaG couldnt come so the two supermodels came to america together. they are now in LA, JaG asked me if i could take them out and show them Hollywood on a Friday night?

    since they just had flown in from Dallas yesterday afternoon, only Yvette, who writes for Penthouse in Holland (!) was up for a night on the town.

    drove down the sunset strip, hollywood blvd, beverly hills. then we went to the new bar in Silver Lake, Stinkers. then we went to the 4100. was very fun. met a busblog superfan and his girlfriend who wanted us to afterparty at their apartment but Yvette was pooped. which was fine. so we called it a night.

    any time you have any more friends who wanna party, JaG, bring em right over.

    now its time for me to go on vacation :)

  7. Monday, June 30, 2008

    crazy day at work 

    infact its 9:30p and im still here

    – matt welch goes to a Nationals game with his dad, and Scott Ross! photo essay!

    – violet blue gets every mention of herself scrubbed from Boing Boing. gives an exclusive interview with Web Scout and the Metafilter thread gets over 450 comments riddled with speculation

    – there are three blogs that im extremely proud of on our roster. the newly launched Olympics blog has totally kicked ass with quick writing from each of the locations at the trials. the president Bush blog, Countdown to Crawford made it into the top ten of our blogs despite only being around a fraction of the month. and the technology blog is one of our hottest new blogs, and its not even a month old either.

    – Zulieka has been writing alot lately, which is always a sensual experience, even if the subject matter is far from it.

    – flagrant took most of June off, which makes me sad. i hope shes ok.

    – JaG told me something fascinating today, but sadly she probably wont tell you in her blog any time soon WHICH DEFEATS THE PURPOSE OF BLOGS, DEAR. jk, love ya baby.

    – if you arent reading Rex, youre missing out on the total web, pretty much.

    – cubs seem to be on a new winning streak. thank the lord ABOVE!

    image via the daisy princess

  8. Sunday, February 26, 2006

    dear amsterdam 

     

    amsterdamim writing you from your airport which is mellow and quiet and bright and clean. i miss you already.

    last nacht you showed me whose boss. you led me to your bars and you sat me down and made me drink 130 of the 150 dutch beers that are worth a taste. they were all delicious.

    then you introduced me to two people who knew a thing or two about the Canabis Cup and i knew i shoulda kept my mouth shut when i said that that stuff doesnt work on me any more, because these two dudes took me to a fancy club and we ordered the stuff and within 20 minutes i was spinning, and then i had to go outside to get my breath and then the cold winds slapped some sense in me but im only capable of a few seconds of sense and then im me again.

    fortunately everyone was ready to go since i looked so green. so we walked. we walked down your beautiful streets. i didnt want to stop walking. i rode my free macbike over your roads and i loved each peddal and there i was walking in the middle of the night through your alleys and sidewalks and i loved each step.

    i needed to hurl but i didnt want to hurl into your clean streets and adorable canals.

    i tried so hard not to be the typical ugly american but there i was wasted off the herb and burping up beer. it was something the man with the camera had mixed in the joint i kept telling people but they just laughed at me and told me my Lakers ski hat was on crooked. one day i’ll have to tell you about the local who wanted to fight me over that hat.

    you can diss kobe in compton but outside the 310 you better give respect to my man or i’ll teach you what 81 points feels like.

    but the dutch are like me, lovers and jokers, not fighters. the worst they’ll do is jingle their bike bell at you telling you to get off the road.

    or they’ll take pictures as youre totally trying to keep it together as you wait for your hotel to spin by.

    buzznet stickerjustagirl and i waved goodbye to the 5 to 9 people who had joined us for drinks at the successful buzznet meetup. i wish i could remember what had happened there but all i remember were handing out stickers and buttons and drinking everything they put in front of me and loving all of it.

    how do you do it amsterdam.

    i got a cot so my guest could have my bed but before the dude had rolled it to my room my dinner was being flushed my desert was being drained and every puff i inhaled was being exhaled and i was embarrassed cuz justagirl had recently called me her bloggod. oh the emperor has no game. i walked out of the room just in time to tip the bellboy and hunt for water water everywhere but so little in the two liter jug.

    she laid on my bed taller and younger than in her blog. i laid on the cot next to the awaiting toilet and we talked all night. as in all night. as in we only got one hour sleep cuz we were talking so long. then she woke me up, i packed, and we took the train to the airport and she said she hadnt lost all respect for me for not being mr superstar totally cool dude, and instead, mr average and typical american joe.

    and her train rolled on to rotterdam and here i am in the airport and im trying to spend all my dutch coins but how much water does a man need to rehydrate?

    and amsterdam you beat me this time, but next time im bringing my skateboard, im bringing a scarf, and im sticking to only drinking.

    i seriously cant believe that i got to come here for free. a week wasnt long enough, which is odd to say for a small city, but theres so much to do here, theres so much to experience. i do hope i can return when its warmer, but after the first day the weather was no longer shocking, if anything it helped make the nacht stay longer.

    i will miss you amsterdam, i will buy your flag from ebay, and i hope to get a tshirt before i get outta this airport.

    all my love,

    tony

    bicyclemark was the mvp of the week