busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, March 17, 2015

    happy anniversary Jeanine 

    jeanine and me

    a zillion years ago a mysterious creature named Jeanine made her way into the offices of the Daily Nexus.

    she wore a scowl and a men’s blazer. she looked like Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club and because I’m a sucker for the Unknown i HAD to know who she was and what made her tick.

    she hated me immediately because i was loud and cocky and had rough edges for days.

    i probably also reeked.

    we had a few dates and they were terrible and one day she dropped acid and looked me in the eyes and kissed me and i was all omg omg omg omg

    a week or so later was the california collegiate journalism awards.

    earlier that year i had been fired and later banned from the Nexus but somehow my three Arts sections had been submitted for judgement so i got in a car with Jeanine and a long haired named Trevor Top and we made our way from IV to Sacramento.

    along the way i realized Trevor liked her too. i was very nervous because i felt he was way cooler than me, but i had kissed her, so i had that on him.

    many of us piled into just a few rooms we drank nibbled on pizza and hit the hot tub.

    there i held her hand to see if she would hold it in return. she did, so i kissed her. then again. it was lovely.

    soon i was trying on my dress. the men of the Nexus in those days wore dresses to the awards because we were loud, cocky, and had rough edges for days that were softened with the thrift store frocks.

    Jeanine helped me with my look and we walked hand in hand to the banquet room where after a few hours it became obvious that the Nexus, as usual, was going to waltz home with Every award. myself included. which was the first time we had won for Arts.

    victory was mine! retribution! i had fought for every idea in those sections. much of was in contradiction to our terrible EIC at the time who had just won Best in State but had to deal with his arch enemy, moi, not only winning my big prize, but best of all i got the girl: jeanine, who couldnt care less about the awards, but was wooed by a man in a dress who was now on top of the world and on top of her on the floor of our room.

    a few days later we drove to frisco, then mexico and along the way we fell in love.

    the date was march 17th. st. paddys day. our anniversary. 10 BC. and we will love each other forever.

  2. Thursday, February 26, 2015

    sad to see my mom and chris go home 

     

    mom squeezing hollywood

    last night my mom chris jeanine and i went to kanpai and had a great time.

    it was actually super fun and it was real nice to share with everyone all the good things

    like melt in your mouth sushi fish

    magically delicious vegetables

    and a lobster roll where the lobster tells you exactly what to do to get the most out of it

    lobster roll

    everyone was happy because jeanine is recovering so well and shes so alive and so great again

    we were also in the glow of the oscars which i was so lucky to share with chris and ma

    on our drive through LA we saw big houses and talked and talked and talked

    it  was so nice.

    then i had to drop of chris and we cried inside cuz we still have a magic bond

    and shes still so beautiful and sweet

    me and the truest

    and im still a tshirt wearing dope.

    then me and mom had an hour to kill so we went up and down the beach and then it was time for her to fly back to the snow

    so she did

    and i drove home and ordered a pizza and passed out cuz i was tired.

    im so lucky to have so many special people in my life and they got to hang for a little together.

    now, back to work

  3. Friday, February 13, 2015

    today is jeanine’s birthday, she’s back from Hell 

    jeanine

    some of us have been to the edge

    some of us have stared down into the big ugly

    some of us have had the taste of darkness

    jeanine has gone further and deeper and been places that should have never given her back to us.

    but we are so lucky she is still here.

    jeanine could drink more than any person i have ever met, and i know some drinkers.

    she consumed more substances than even her former drug dealer boyfriend

    (except pot. she hates pot.)

    and she did this for years and years and years.

    she was in the ICU on several occasions. french kissing death. saying comeon comeon comeon like kim gordon sneers in “kool thing”

    but even death knew jeanine had more to do here, on this planet, with all of us.

    and spit her back out.

    amber and jeaninethen a miracle happened.

    i was dating young amber smith blog and we discovered that jeanine and amber shared the same birthday

    not only that but they had similar demons.

    the miracle was that amber had gone through the steps that it took to rid her self of her evils and she was sweet enough to share that with her birthday sister.

    amber coached me that i was doing everything wrong. she told me that i had to let jeanine go and do her own thing and she would find the true path alone.

    it was scary but it worked. jeanine rode busses from the beach to DTLA to the valley to jump through all of the red tape that she needed to get help.

    omg socialized help

    which not only saved her life, but restored her to the jeanine we first knew and loved some two decades ago.

    today jeanine is sober, healthy, happy, alert, aware, and full of life.

    she is responsible and motivated and filled with happiness and joy and doing things she probably never thought she’d ever be doing like talking to her mom all the time, reading the bible, and just saying no.

    it’s a transformation we all hoped would happen but never thought would take place so quickly and thoroughly, but Jeanine is the essence of quickness. she taught herself guitar and piano in days. she became a certified jeweler in months. and now she has her sights set to be a master chef. which she will accomplish, no doubt, in part, to honor her late brother.

    i have had the great pleasure of knowing some of the most unique and special people in the world and jeanine continues to surprise me in beautiful ways.  and i love her so much and im so happy for her because i can only imagine how tough it was for her to get here.

    she has been on the craziest road and i thank God that she never gave up.

    happy birthday Jeanine. here’s to many more.

    and thank you and happy birthday Amber. without you who knows what would have happened to Jeanine.

  4. Monday, November 17, 2014

    really good weekend, super fun ubering, and then resting 

    jeaninebut probably the best thing that happened this weekend was getting to visit Jeanine.

    she is holed up in a secret xbi training center to work on her exhaustion.

    as you know the agency loves to poison us. sometimes they over do it.

    the way i combat it is to eat a ton of junk food. the preservatives and chemicals counteract the weirdness that they subversively give us and it all balances out.

    poor jeanine though eats well, and when the xbi did what they did to her, over years and years, it eventually wore her out.

    a month ago she was taken away and only recently was she able to receive guests and i am very glad to announce that she is doing so well, theres so much more life back in her eyes and heart and spirit. it was an absolute joy to spend an hour with her.

    funny thing about her, you can always tell how she is doing from her hair.

    saturday her hair was silky smooth and happy and bright and sparkling.

    she wanted to tell me all the stories about the other agents she is rehabbing with but i was all, there is no such thing as the xbi

    and for sure there is no such thing as agents who arent at 100%.

    she was all omg, but these people are sooooo fascinating!

    i was like, just tell me about you, what have you learned, what did you go through, how did you like the books i snuck in?

    so we talked and talked and someone recognized me and i said hi and they said you know if you wanted to drive jeanine around for a few minutes i’ll look the other way

    and quickly we hopped into my car and i said so what do you want to eat?

    she said, something healthy

    i said you can have anything in the world and you want an apple? how about some taco bell or jack in the box or a burrito from a truck. and she smiled and said, thats your technique, i like healthy good things. in fact im thinking about being a cook here, full time, like forever.

    it was so sweet. your girl is totally back. in such a short period of time. it was so good. sooooo good. so thank you for your good thoughts. they worked!

  5. Friday, September 12, 2014

    motel busblog 

    jeanine and ambersometimes kittens appear at your doorstep. so you say fine, why not.

    sometimes tall blondes with legs as long as the california coast start liking everything on your instagram.

    so you say fine why not.

    and sometimes your college girlfriend is floating around and could use your couch

    and you say of course baby.

    but then the xbi says no seriously we need to get the wires out of the walls of your house

    because we’re wireless now

    and if anything happens, like i dont know, you move, because you’re loco, and the next ppl see all the wires, then we’re screwed.

    so they start ripping up the walls of your sweet pad and your fridge is now in the kitchen and the kitty litter is now in the bathroom and the kittens are running around

    and dust is flying and at least theres lots of food in the pantry

    and amber and jeanine really get along. maybe because theyre born on the same day (!) and they have freaky similarities like they have a hard time answering yes or no questions.

    one day i went into the freezer for ice cream and there was butter pecan, something i thought only my granpa ate.

    i was like amber did you buy this butter pecan? and she was all, omg i love that but no. and jeanine said oh i did, lol.

    the other night as i got out of the shower i saw them spooning on the couch

    tv glow lighting up the room

    kittens asleep at their feet.

  6. Thursday, April 3, 2014

    mark was in town so he said lets have dinner with jeanine 

    mark

    so i was all, well we’ve gotta go eat sushi then cuz its right by her house.

    huge mistake because he was coming from los feliz, and i was coming from the miracle mile

    going that way in rush hour was a challenge but i thought about you the whole way so it wasnt bad

    and i listened to the cubs game.

    and i listened to Mr Little Jeans whose record just came out

    jeanine

    sometimes kanpai is good, sometimes it’s terrific, sometimes it’s really terrific.

    last night it was super great. everything melted in our mouths we couldnt get enough

    they have these coupons on Restaurant.com but the catch is you have to spend twice as much as the coupon

    so i had to order two rolls to go to hit our number and the total, tax included was $75

    so i added an extra $20 tip because peter is the best and i was out of there paying for three of us

    for under $100, it was amazing.

  7. Wednesday, March 5, 2014

    i was so exhausted today 

    Bh7GptRCQAAxdwl

    and i was coughing and nauseous and at times i felt horrible

    but at the same time i worked ok. and now i feel fantastic.

    i think i was just so tired. maybe over tired.

    now its midnight and im going to bed. but first i wanted to tell you the best news

    jeanine, a few weeks ago was all, i wanna work at this one particular jewlery store

    and then the other day she goes to craigslist and Theres the store looking for her

    for exactly the job she wanted.

    today was her first day.

    how awesome is that.

    so weird how sometimes you can just visualize your future

    and then it comes true.

    lets all try it.

  8. Thursday, February 13, 2014

    today is jeanine’s birthday, shes 24 

    jeanine volcano

    jeanine has been one of my closest friends since i first seduced her in isla vista on cordova ave.

    a few weeks later she tried to kill herself, but it didnt take, so she, for some reason considers me her guardian angel instead of The Cause of All Misery, which is why she’s wonderful.

    like many close friends there are times when we laugh cry and scream at each other. sometimes in the same conversation.

    jeanine is going through a lot right now. she has experienced some deaths in her family, she has a very demanding career, and she is doing her best to detox from booze all by herself.

    like beyonce, shes an independent woman. unlike queen b, jeanine has no jay-z with benjamins to help smooth the road to success.

    yesterday i got a text message that she had a seizure at work and was rushed to the hospital.

    about an hour later i got another text from her boss saying “please call me tony” and i panicked because i thought she had died in the hospital.

    i was terrified to call because i didnt want to hear that news. i thought about all of the things that i wanted her to do with the next 100 years of her life and one of them being that i wanted her to teach my kids how to be guitar heroes.

    fortunately she is still alive. and kicking. and joking. and beautiful. and wonderful. and i am so happy and relieved.

    i love her so much and i look forward to dining with her tonight.

    happy birthday amazing aquarius!

  9. Tuesday, March 19, 2013
  10. Wednesday, February 13, 2013

    today is jeanine’s birthday, she’s 24 

    url-5

    jeanine and i met famously in the newsroom of the uc santa barbara college paper, the daily nexus.

    neither of us knew it was an xbi plot.

    the original dates were disasters, but at night the agency would tweak our brain dynamics through radio waves

    and secretly poison our delicious fruit punch soda.

    and soon, not only were we in love, but we were shacking up

    and using landlines.

    url-3

    id bring her on my jobs and say just stay in the car, but when i least expected it, there she was on the roof with me

    saying quick before you do that, smile pretty for the birdie

    me and jeanine

    sadly, turnabout wasnt always fair play.

    url-2

    the xbi was happy with things so they sent us to the secret training facility on the moon

    where we experimented with invisible space suits

    jeanine

    on the weekends i enjoyed playing NHLPA hockey with the neighbors

    and jeanine liked to stand in the way of the screen

    attempting to use ESP on me so i’d sing bluegrass songs with her on the banjo.

    jeanine aj and me

    jeanine is so sweet she won over every man woman and lizard in isla vista.

    my mom still has pictures of her up in her house.

    url-1

    but not this one because here she’s on acid.

    ken jeanine and bonnie

    jeanine has hand made the wedding rings of all of our married friends.

    its a cute little way for the xbi to keep an eye on the santa barbara mafia

    but it’s also a way for all of us to remember how special todays birthday girl is to us.

    happy birthday sweet sweet hollywood guitar goddess

    jeanine

    thanks for coming back to LA for us.