nothing in here is true

  1. Sunday, November 3, 2019

    went to see Kanye’s gospel hour again, this time with amber 

    all weekend i was checking the prices on stub hub because i knew it wasn’t going to be sold out and i knew there were speculators out there and even Ticketmassah started selling floor seats for $40 so i knew there were gonna be some deep discounts as the hours approached showtime

    and sure enough after amber was done at the fairfax flea market, i picked her up, checked the web and nabbed two tickets for $47 total.

    they were supposed to be up in the rafters but it was pretty easy to get into some lower level good seats as the whole place was at half capacity.

    amber was as amazed as i had been. theres something about hearing all of those voices singing so loudly. also whoever is behind the scenes mixing it does a great job. is a powerfully beautiful thing happening there.

    kanye changed up a lot of things. he replaced the cheesy white preacher with a older black minister from georgia. the frocks were now blue instead of white, and the entire set list changed.

    it went on for two hours and that was more than enough for amber. which is fine. we walked the mile or so to our car, drove around the hood looking for the Popeyes chicken sandwich which had made it’s triumphant return. went to a few stores, huge lines.

    then as we were on speaker phone with mom we saw that the one on Western and MLK wasn’t bad. a half hour later there was a chicken sandwich in my belly. and a half hour later my stomach had completed its journey.

    when that, and the two jack in the box tacos, the only food id ingested all day, exited my body felt incredible.

    and that, my friends, is why blogging is dead.

    ps when amber went to the bathroom at the popeyes a homeless guy had just been in there smoking crack and when she came to the table to report this to me, i asked, did you inhale real good? cuz thats a free high.

    and the ladies next to us laughed.

    on the way home we listened to Bob Dylan’s Saved and compared and contrasted the bard’s born-again phase with Ye’s and they are surprisingly similar. the difference is Kanye’s is full blown while Dylan’s is not nearly as immersive in its entirety.

    bears lost.

  2. Sunday, September 4, 2016
  3. Sunday, September 27, 2015

    kanye west played the hollywood bowl last night 


    it wasnt just any show, he did “808 and Heartbreaks” all the way through, with an orchestra and chorus

    why? it wasnt an anniversary, he hadnt just released a remix, it wasnt like he just won an award for it.



    and he made it snow while he was doing it. even though it was close to 90 degrees up in the beautiful canyon.


    it was weird and wonderful and a lot like a fashion show and an art show and a greek drama and what it must have felt like for the jews when Moses delivered his Sermon on the Mount, except funkier

    kayne's cast of thousands

    and with a cast of thousands.

    with guest stars sexy C3P0 lady + spinning stairs to nowhere + starring ladies who just stared

    and lady in the very back of the bowl who just raised her arms

    zoe kravitz in the back of the hollywood bowl during kanyes 808 and heartbreak show

    and very special guests Autotune and random Fireworks


    thank you Bree for thinking of me when you realized you had an extra golden ticket

    that was so funnnnnnnnn!

  4. Sunday, August 30, 2015

    jake arrieta just tossed a no hitter at dodger stadium just cuz 

    no no

    we’re gonna win the world series, i hope you know.

    something interesting was happening when jake was closing the game out,

    Live on MTV, Kanye West was delivering a crazy speech.

    because im insane, i have two tvs in my bedroom specifically for moments like this.

    meanwhile my man Ben was flying at 30,000 feet above mexico city and asked me to Periscope the no no

    so i did

    AND the kanye speech.

    you can see it by clicking here.

    it’s art, basically.

  5. Wednesday, September 3, 2014

    Kanye West at the Made in America concert in LA’s Grand Park 

    im sure theres something wrong with our mayor, eric garcetti.

    he’s fit, he’s smart, he gets things done, he smiles, he doesnt seem to BS you

    he is pro Uber, he’s pro growth, and no one seems to have too many terrible things to say about him.

    jay z beyonce aoki garcettiis he an alien? a vampire? is he going to turn us all into food?


    but in the meantime he pulled off something really interesting this weekend, along with Jay Z and Kanye West:

    a twisted dark fantasy on the steps of city hall.

    usually that sort of thing is reserved for inside the building or across the street.

    it probably lost the city a bunch of money it doesnt have.

    and it helped promote the most gutless, useless beer in the nation.

    but it also starred one of the most fascinatingly dark and troubled geniuses of LA: a man who cursed and stomped and wore a ridiculous mask

    and dares to call himself Yeezus.

    and when you watch who was in the audience this weekend there were all types of faces, mostly brown

    you know, exactly how LA truly is.

    kanye tried to start some slam pits, which he adorably called circles

    but LA cant be told what to do.

    but we will come to a party and thats what the mayor hosted and a lot of people are butthurt because he rammed it through but sometimes thats exactly what the leader should do

    he should wheel a keg down the street, crank up the jams and start passing out the red solo cups.

    so thank you mr. mayor.

    next year please hold the Mayer.

  6. Tuesday, March 11, 2014

    one thing you see in LA are personalized plates for days 


    but sometimes theyre on the most expensive cars and you think to yourself,

    “is that really that guy or is it some super rich kid”?

    today i was driving past El Coyote on Beverly and i saw this and I had to pull over.

    Because if it is Kanye, it MUST be documented.

    sadly i was on my lunch break and couldnt wait around all day to find out whose masarati this belonged to

    so we can just pretend for now that it was he, and by he of course we mean ye

  7. Sunday, July 21, 2013

    sometimes i wonder how much of all of this is real 

    kanyei know nothing in here is true

    and we’re all playing a weird game of lets pretend we’re all not gonna be dead soon

    but this kanye west fellow fascinates me.

    is he mental?

    or is this all staged?

    seems staged to me.

    why would kanye be so mad that people wanna ask him questions and take his picture?

    kanye OBSESSES over clothes and image. he’d die if people didnt wanna take his picture.

    fucker wore a skirt at the Jay Z coheadlining show here in LA.

    nothing says take my picture than a brother in crazy sunglasses indoors at night wearing a skirt

    on top of a huge podium

    of course youre going to get your picture taken coming out of the international terminal at LAX

    move to frisco if you dont want it.

    or san diego.

    it happens to all of us. busblog busblog whens your next book? are you back with the xbi?

    will you ever be employed again?

    is it true that North West’s nickname is tony?

    you dont see me putting people in headlocks.

    sweet friendly sorta dazed headlocks

    where no one gets hurt.

  8. Thursday, June 20, 2013
  9. Friday, June 14, 2013

    first impression of Kanye’s West’s new cd Yeezus 

    kanye yeezus

    Kanye is like an alive, unholographed angrier Tupac who isn’t afraid to rock a black leather skirt and utilize Skrillex

    It’s what Pink Floyd would have sounded like if they had replaced Roger Waters with a lead pipe

    It’s what The Beatles would have sounded like if they were raised in Cabrini Green

    It’s what the new Dr. Dre record would have sounded like if he wasn’t obsessed selling headphones

    It’s what Bruce Jenner feels like inside every time he sees Keeping up with the Kardashians

    It’s the sound black unicorns make after they snort a line off the back of a porcupine

    It’s exactly what hip hop haters will point to and say SEE! SEE?

    It’s the music in Hodor’s head

  10. Saturday, May 11, 2013