nothing in here is true

  1. Saturday, May 11, 2013

    dear kanye west 

    kanye west hits his head

    my brotha

    my chicago brotha

    i know you’re tired of the paparazzi. too bad.

    i know you’re embarrassed because you hit your head on a giant red sign because you were trying to keep your pretty face down so they couldnt get a picture of you and your famous pregnant baby mama.

    you should be.

    let the photographers take they pictures.

    they’re gonna take em anyways.

    you’re cray and you’re wearing leather pants and a leather shirt walking next to preggo Kim Kardashian


    you dont see your boy Jay-Z acting insane or knocking into signs

    and his wife is rightfully famous!

    do you remember Al Capone or Tony Soprano or even Elvis freaking out because people be eyeballing them?

    Elvis was a hero to most because he didn’t care about the paparazzi.

    Him nor John Wayne.

    you try so hard to be cool. to dress cool. you brag about yr swag.

    real swag is Expecting people to photograph your every move and instead of saying oh lawd

    say yeah



    with each step.

    as if this is your damn world.

    and they should be honored by your greatness.

    pull your head up brotha and dont ever lose your cool again.

    cuz thats not how we do things in the windy.

    and you know this.

    Continue reading “dear kanye west”

  2. Wednesday, February 8, 2012

    karisa was all lets do something we aint never done 


    i was all screw that hippie!

    she was like all we ever do is the same thing: eat drink be merry. im bored!

    i was like me too, this weathers boring, yr pretty hairs boring, this jay-z and kanyes boring, this fast car’s boring!

    she was all why are we yelling!!!!

    karisa and i are workaholics. we’re gonna die before we die.

    and still at 930pm we looked fantastic. especially me.

    all summer ive been playing around with this beard. i dont know what to do.

    when i had a secret girlfriend i grew it, now ive got a makebelieve fiance so i grew it.

    karisa btw hates that i dont take facebook seriously. hates it. called me names about it.

    she was all lie in yr blog if you want, but facebook is for serious.

    i said the only thing serious is how seriously imma eat that crazy sushi deal that has

    little baby eggs with a quail egg on top.

    she said imma drink that sake and beer and sake and beer and sake

    and soon we had forgotten whatever idealistic dreams we had

    and just went back to the same ole boring same ole merriment

    and drove home listening to kelly clarkson

  3. Wednesday, December 14, 2011

    jay z and kanye’s excellent adventure 

    jay and kanye at staples

    halfway through their third sold out show at staples center, the opening strains of a familiar tune began and the crowd roared.

    “we’ve got a million of these” jay-z snickered.

    the tune was “we run this town” and it was hard to argue that they dont.

    over a period of two and a half hours the hip hop giants played ping pong with hit tunes

    jay-z would break into Big Pimpin, Hard Knock Life, and 99 Problems and then Kanye would rip through All of the Lights, Jesus Walks, and Gold Digger

    it was more a tag team than a battle. it was more a spectacle than a duel.

    and when Kanye asked the crowd “people always say ‘be humble’, when was the last time they told you to ‘be awesome,'” it was clear that someone had told kanye to be awesome and he listened.

    with the average ticket price of over $100 to sell out 3 nights in a row in a venue as large as staples is awesome, if not impossible

    but last night was clearly another page in Jay Z’s “history in the making”. and i was very lucky to be there.

    jay and kanye at staples

    id seen jay z a few times, most notably when he did a private show with eminem for activision at the cozy Wiltern. that night i felt that Eminem won the night.

    last night i felt Kanye won, but who are we kidding, we all win when Jay-Z is in the house – a mogul who needs no introduction or teleprompter.

    hearing him get so much love before during and after Empire State of Mind, in of all places Staples where the Lakers often do battle against East Coast teams, was indeed awesome.

    as was hearing 20,000 los angelinos sing “IM FROM NEW YOOOOORK”.

    quickly heres how i got such great seats. at 4pm i logged onto ticketmaster’s site. none of the tickets were good, but i tried to see if they had an $59 tickets left ($75 after ticketmaster’s shenanigans) – got one that was basically behind the stage.

    when i tweeted that i was going, Lakers blogger Mark Medina texted me and said he might be able to help me upgrade if i could meet him before the show.

    and bam, there i was, just above the floor, just a tad left of center.

    social networking at its best. and naturally i bought him beers all night to thank him for reaching out.

    it was a great show and i wish my pics did justice.

  4. Tuesday, January 18, 2011

    kanye and arcade fire are two of my faves 

    but i dont need to go to coachella to see them

    and i wont

    now if there had been daft punk, the stones, and or ac/dc

    then i have a reason to fork over about $800 for a weekend.

    for $800 i could get front row to kanye, arcade fire, and 2-3 other shows.

    appreciate the thought. the kills would be fine too. as would duran duran.

    but something tells me its a fake out to see if Coachella can sell out without the super secret last minute add to the show.

    !!!, 12th Planet, Afrojack, Alf Alpha, Andy C, Angus and Julia Stone, Animal Collective, Arcade Fire, Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti, A-Trak, Axwell, Beardyman, Best Coast, Big Audio Dynamite, Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears, Bloody Beetroots Death Crew 77, Bomba Estereo, Boys Noize, Brandon Flowers, Brandt Brauer Frick, Breakage, Bright Eyes, Broken Social Scene, Cage the Elephant, Caifanes, Caspa, Cee Lo Green, Chromeo, Chuckie, City and Colour, Clare Maguire, Cold Cave, Cold War Kids, Crystal Castles, CSS, Cults, Cut Copy, Daedelus, Death From Above 1979, Delorean, Delta Sprirt, DJ Hype, DJ Kentaro, DJ Marky, DJ Zinc, Duck Sauce, Duran Duran, EE, Elbow, Electric Touch, Eliza Doolittle, Ellie Goulding, Emicida, Empire of the Sun, Erick Morillo, Erykah Badu, Excision, , Fat Freddy’s Drop, Fedde Le Grand, Fistful of Mercy, Flogging Molly, Foals, Foster the People, Francis and the Lights, Freelance Whales, fun., G.Q., Gayngs, Glasser, Gogol Bordello, Good Old War, Gord Downie, Goth Trad, Green Velvet, Gypsy and the Cat, HEALTH, Here We Go Magic, High Contrast, Hurts, Interpol, Jack Beats, Jack’s Mannequin, Jakes, Jenny and Johnny, Jimmy Eat World, Joachim Garraud, Joy Orbison, Kanye West, Kele, Kings of Leon, Klaxons, Kode9, Kyle Hall, Laidback Luke, Leftfield, Lightning Bolt, Lil’ B, Lorn, Los Bunkers, Magnetic Man, Mariachi El Bronx, Marina and the Diamonds, Mary Anne Hobbs, MEN, Menomena, Monarchy, Mount Kimbie, Moving Units, Ms. Lauryn Hill, Mumford & Sons, Nas & Damian Marley, Neon Trees, New Pants, Nosaj Thing, OFF!, OFWGKTA, Omar Rodriguez Lopez, One Day as a Lion, Ozomatli, Paul van Dyk, Phantogram, Phosphorescent, PJ Harvey, Plan B, Ramadanman, Raphael Saadiq, Ras G, Ratatat, Riva Starr, Robyn, Roska, Rye Rye, Sander Kleinenberg, Sasha, SBTRKT, Scala & Kolacny Bros., Scissor Sisters, She Wants Revenge, Shpongle, Skrillex, Sleigh Bells, Steve Angello, Sven Vath, Take, Tame Impala, Terror Danjah, Thao and the Get Down Stay Down, The Aquabats, The Black Keys, The Chemical Brothers, The Drums, The Felice Brothers, The Henry Clay People, The Joy Formidable, The Kills, The London Suede, The Love Language, The Morning Benders, The National, The New Pornographers, The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, The Presets, The Radio Dept., The Rural Alberta Advantage, The Strokes, The Swell Season, The Tallest Man on Earth, The Twelves, Thunderball, Tinie Tempah, Titus Andronicus, Tokimonsta, Trampled by Turtles, Trentemoller, Twin Shadow, Two Door Cinema Club, Warpaint, Wire, Wiz Khalifa, Yacht, Yelle and Zed Bias.

    not enough!

    post script: yay for fun., Lauren Hill, Titus Andronicus, Yelle, Gogol Bordello, and Big Audio Dynamite

  5. Monday, May 12, 2008
  6. Friday, September 2, 2005