today is kurt cobain’s birthday, he would have been 51

when i was driving the Royal Blood bassist from WeHo to DTLA he told me he was gonna be playing at the Forum in a few days.

I said, oooooh the Forum. I have seen many great shows there.

he said, like who?

i said, well The Cars, Manson, Clapton, Weezer, Nirvana, Kiss

he said, Nirvana? How were they?

i said, it was for charity and the Butthole Surfers opened. i sat all the way in the back. and they did something that i only saw once with Bob Dylan at the Arlington Theater… Dylan started the show sorta drunk but as it progressed it was obvious that the booze had been replaced with water, and by halftime Dylan had sobered up and was sooooo perfect.

the same happened with Nirvana. Kurdt seemed spaced out and super chill, but as they settled in the got louder and gnarlier and i dont know if the heroin was wearing off or the weed, but it got better and better.

they played Teen Spirit like 5th on the playlist. sorta to get it out of the way.

very punk rock. very “if you were here for the hit you can go home now.”

i have many things that i am supremely grateful for: namely the women i have had the great good fortune to know in my life, but seeing Nirvana live is way up there. and i take none of it for granted.

i think about Nirvana every day

Frances Bean, Courtney Love, Kurt Cobain

dude has been dead for 20 years. still i think.

i think theres no way i could ever be that great at anything. can i be?

he sang, wrote, played, was, is, will be – better than almost all of them.

hendrix, prince, cobain. thats probably it. guys who did it all. who were it all.

but that wasnt enough. he had to kill himself. he had to end it. couldnt just go to a hospital.

was it the wife, the baby, the band that made him think he couldnt just ask for a timeout?

mtv, magazine covers, world tours?

do we just paint ourselves into situations where we cant stop the rock n roll train

where we end up locked in a heart shaped coffin?

the great news about mediocrity is we have the freedom to do nothing.

even though he sold a gazillion records, there was no uproar when phil collins stopped putting out albums.

but bob dylan cant do that. hell, tupac had to keep making hits even when he was long dead.

is there a happy medium?

has tom waits figured it out?

just crawl outta your cave when you feel like it and show what youve been building in there

and crawl back inside after youve made a few million?

you dont see squirrels working in the off season.

or bees.

or short shorts.

i wish kurt had learned from the daisy dukes in the world:

it’s ok to just crawl up in a drawer for six months if you wanna.

people ask me my secrets all the time

kurt courtney and frances beanwhy would i tell them those?

was kurts heroin and devil worship? no.

was miles’ white girls and jump rope? maybe.

was einsteins checkers and freestyle rap battles? shhhh.

i will tell you all my secrets but theyre hidden in layers of better things.

the secret is be yourself.

the secret is when you’re a pitcher and for years thats what youve been studying

and when youre warmed up and you forget about everything and just look at the catchers mitt

and let it fly

all those years of coaching and practice and screwing around as a kid and studying and working

are condensed in one simple action.

when your heart is in it and thats really

your pitch

the ball will do the most amazing thing:

it will become unhittable.

no one can rip off the way kurdts voice is. its been twenty years. it’s his.

no one can top that thing.

no one can be more you than you at your most zen.

which is why the talkity talkity will never result in any true

rockety rockity

im starting to see why kurt cobain killed himself

kurt cobain cryingand now i know for sure why he self medicated.

when the time it takes for you to fill out the endless amount of paperwork is 5x longer than the time the doctor spends with you to figure out whats wrong with you, something is wrong.

when doctors and hospitals refuse to talk with each other and act as if you are the first person who needs them to talk with each other, you want to die – or do heroin

when people on the phone tell you you’re in “the wrong pod” or you need “an authorization” or that it will take 7 to 10 days to get your records out of their computers to the specialists computers: the rage inside of you equals the power that fueled Bleach.

this blog has done its best to be a positive voice in the wilderness, but this weird side trip into the bowels of the american health care system has turned me into a negative creep who has talked about burning down buildings and blowing his head off more this last week than ever.

even though president obama didnt get the Obamacare that he knows we need, now im seeing he did the right thing by trying. and those who keep trying to cockblock him in the name of politics or racism or pride should burn in the depths of hell.

our bodies and minds fail occasionally, especially as we get older. fact.

and the strange truth that almost every other first world country on this planet has figured out how to take care of its citizens and the usa hasnt should be a huge embarrassment to this nation.

but instead we just pretend theres nothing we can do about it.

there is always something we can do about it.

and if i hadnt gotten the perfect pain relievers from the meanest doc i had the displeasure of running into, who knows what i would be doing right now.

And now a word from Frances Bean Cobain about the Dave Grohl rumor

the CobainsFrances Bean Cobain is the only daughter of my hero Kurdt Cobain and Courtney Love.

recently Courtney took to Twitter and spread rumors that Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl had seduced the teenager

Today, through her PR rep at Nasty Little Man, Frances has issued a statement in regard to the rumors and her mother’s use of the social media tool


While I’m generally silent on the affairs of my biological mother, her recent tirade has taken a gross turn.

I have never been approached by Dave Grohl in more than a platonic way. I’m in a monogamous relationship and very happy.

Twitter should ban my mother.

Long live rock

i love you but i need a vacation

near a tv that doesnt work any more

luckily for me i have a good friend in from out of town who needs a place to crash

and it looks like rain, which is perfect cuz he can replace the buckets where the leaks drop.

where am i going? vegas. who am i going with? nunyabusiness.

will i be taking hella pictures? but of course.

do i use any of those electronics in the photo? no. and both vcrs eat tapes.

am i a failure in life? pretty much, yep.

heres what ive learned from video games: everything ends in failure and death.

is that anyway to talk before a long trip on wet roads?

ive always loved you.

i knew i was in trouble when i saw kurt cobain waiting for me at the front door.

hey buddy.

uh, hi, kurt.

i dont really know how to say this to you, so i’ll just come right out and say it. youre dead.

pardon me?

ok, let me put it this way, knock knock.

heh. who’s there?

not you, because you’re dead.

can i ask you a question?


good, am i on acid?

no, youre dead.

how did i die?

i can tell you, but then i’d have to bring you back to life. ahahahahaha. sorry, little joke we tell.

what’s this hole in my chest?

thats where you were stabbed with a knife.

who the hell would stab me?

lots of people. there are those who are jealous of your talents. there are all the dads of the young girls you do. there are the sisters of the girls you do. there are the republicans who fear that you might go to law school and then run for office. theres bud selig, matt drudge, george bush. or any of the hundreds of criminals you sent to jail.

you know whats funny, kurt, youd think id be sad, but im not sad.


but i will miss all my friends.

they’ll probably miss you too.

and i love the people of Earth.

theres people of Earth where you’re going.

yeah, but i liked life.

you did? you were always bitching about it. you were never satisfied with any of the girls you got. you were never pleased with where you lived or what you did for a living, or what you looked like, or what you wrote, or who you were. dont bullshit me, bro.

hmmm. i did like chris.

too little, too late, cubfan.

and i liked living on del playa.

youre going to a better place.

i am?





hey i got in and i broke some major rules.

thats right, you killed yourself.

major faux pas, let me tell you.

how did you get in after something like that?


whats that?

Grace of God. thats how everyone gets in.

what if you were super good?

doesnt matter, without the GoG you dont get in.

so, like, mother theresa?

God isnt crazy about the Catholics. little known fact. especially the ones who know better. they disobeyed the very last line in the Bible, “dont add anything to this text or else you will get all the curses written herein on your ass.”

thats not exactly what it says.


damn, kurt, even in your afterlife you’re controversial.

ready to hit the road, pallie?

wow. im really dead?

dead as grunge.

and i have to leave this apartment behind?

you can haunt it if you want, but scaring people becomes dull. it’s pretty easy.

but its sorta messy, i’d hate to leave a mess.

trust me, dude, people are going to make a fortune eBaying your stuff. youve got some great shit here.

yeah somewhere in here i have a ticket stub from your last show in LA.

not anymore,

kurt cobain said and flashed me the stub and tucked it into the breast pocket of his raggedy flannel.

a sorority girl and her jailbait sister