busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, October 9, 2018

    have i told you that amber loves lady gaga? it’s true 

    but something has happened and she has fallen out of love with her.

    and it troubles me because amber stood in the front row for like 5 hours at coachella enduring all these other acts so when her girl took the stage she would be right. there.

    so if she could fall outta love with her, what does that mean for me? sure i can play the piano and dance in 8 inch stilettos but i cant really hit those high notes any more.

    turns out bradley cooper and gaga are in a movie. not far from my house. and since amber often finds herself here there and everywhere on her days off, to see her come home at a reasonable hour today, and since i had crossed off everything on my to do list (people actually wrote me back today and said yes, one after another after another), i was all, let me take you to a romantico italian early dinner

    and she said yes too. then we walked over to the vista and saw the movie. what a theater, but remind me to stop buying popcorn, i never eat more than a handful.

    tonight i found the only thing i dont like about my favorite movie theater. i like to hold hands. if youre my girl, im touchy feely. so i will hold your hand through the entire two hour deal. unless you have a tight, short dress, and then i’ll have my hand on your leg like a creepy congressman.

    most theaters have those arm rests that you can pull up and get extra close. not the vista, the best theater in all hollywood. they are locked in. so you have to maneuver in such a way. like what they do to homeless guys who are just trying to sleep on a park bench. i just want to feel my girls thigh – is that asking too much?

    gaga sang her tushy off and bradley did a passable kris kristopherson – that low, rumbling, slurring voice coming out of that fuzzy beard. we didnt realize till the end that he had directed it too and i gotta say, hats off there. but to me, and maybe because ive seen every rock movie, fact and fiction, and this one insisted on all the cliches. its shocking to me that it has a 93% positive rating on rotten tomatoes. but story aside, they both acted well together, shes a damn natural. and he is obviously winning people over.

    high marks to andrew dice clay and dave chappelle. dice can really act, but he was mis-cast here.

    every time it was gaga on screen though, she owned it. very impressive. solid b.

  2. Thursday, August 10, 2017

    took amber to see her hero Lady Gaga last night at the Forum 

    Lady Gaga
    The Fabulous Forum
    The Joanne Tour

    is Lady Gaga a genius? hmmmm. i have seen her perform live now four times. the first was with Yoko Ono which was magical.

    the last time I saw her was a few years ago with amber and it was less than magical.

    last night there were moments that were super emotional and it made me think that despite all the glitz and showwomanship and glitter and whoha, what Lady Gaga should do is an acoustic tour with maybe a small string section.

    Because when Gaga strips it down her voice is one of the best there is. She can belt out tunes so easily it’s crazy.

    Since she writes everything she performs, she knows precisely where the notes are going and she is like Michael Jordan

    she approaches the climax but gets bored along the way and switches hands, spins, and dunks it home

    seemingly to entertain herself, first, and then the ever-appreciative crowd.

    all of that gets lost with the video screens and weird fake clouds and lasers and dancers and band that she thinks so little of that she didn’t even introduce or acknowledge them last night.

    is Gaga a good dancer? no. her moves consist of an advanced version of The Robot.

    her costumes aren’t even that outrageous any more.

    there once was a time when Elton John, David Bowie, and even Motely Crue outdressed their audience, but Gaga is outshined by her Little Monsters every night – fashion wise

    WHICH IS OK.

    what’s not ok is IF she is a genius, it’s being overshadowed by layers and layers of production

    last night she was almost literally stepping over her fans in the general admission arena floor to walk over to the second stage on the far end of the Forum to appease the people in the cheap seats.

    while it’s admirable to give love to the people in the nosebleeds, maybe the worst “seats” for this tour are the ones on the floor because either Gaga is on a riser on the stage that’s constantly in motion or she’s strutting on a temporary bridge above them.

    we originally sat slightly behind the stage (because im a cheap bastard and the $200 face-value tix were going for $75 on Stubhub) but after a few tunes we realized that we really should dance ourway to a more practical section.

    The Lord was looking down on us and lead us to maybe the best seats in the house, middle, lower, right on an aisle next to two middle aged fans who, when asked, informed us that no one had sat there all night.

    in front of us was a mom with her 7-8 year old daughter.

    the mom valiantly tried to cover her darling angels eyes during an R-rated video montage (used so Gaga could do a costume change, of which there were 3-4 through the night). Later she covered her ears when the singer talked about how she was going through a phase of “owning my Inner Whore.”

    even though there were a sprinkling of grade school kids here and there, at these prices, the kids were rightfully left at home.

    and if anything this show was meant for The Gays, and they were in attendance in full force.

    Before sitting down to her see-through colorful grand piano she asked if there were any members of the LGBTQ

    pretty much the whole place erupted.

    Hers is a very loving, accepting, free-spirited environment where All Are Welcome and it is very much an evening to dance.

    But, she is such an overwhelmingly talented performer that it rarely comes across in a setting with booming bass, pyrotechnics, and endless array of distractions.

    While it’s obvious that she is doing an excellent job of appeasing her base, when she actually started playing that technicolor piano, the well meaning mom gushed with tears as Gaga performed an acoustic version of “Edge of Glory”. When the singer hesitated a beat to compose herself, the audience sang the next line in unison which sent chills down my back and made the mom cry even more.

    THAT is what you can do when your audience loves you, has memorized every word, and does not need the crutch of production to be connected to you.

    didn’t touring with Tony Bennett teach you anything girl?

    If I had any advice to Gaga it would be: do a tour where you play guitar for a few tunes, then piano for the rest, then during the encore have a 20 minute dance party.

    last night there were 0 encores, 0 opening acts, 0 intermissions and even though the Forum Facebook page said she would start at 7:30p, the show started well after that.

    still, today, I keep humming

    “Just Dance.. do do do do do…”