nothing in here is true

  1. Friday, August 11, 2017

    the older i get the more i want to direct a movie 

    things people should do before they die

    1. see a Tom Waits concert
    2. fly a helicopter
    3. attend the world series
    4. swim in both the pacific and the atlantic
    5. experience an earthquake
    6. write a book
    7. direct a movie
    8. have a spiritual breakthrough
    9. experience poverty
    10. spin records on FM radio within Safe Harbor
    11. starve for 30 hours
    12. spend the night outside waiting in line for something
    13. visit Sweden
    14. dine in Lyon
    15. sit in the bleachers of Wrigley Field
    16. spend the night in Sedona
    17. pray in Jerusalem
  2. Wednesday, January 11, 2017

    popular things i’ve never understood 

    rooting for the yankees

    peeing fetishes

    foot fetishes

    electronic dance music

    modern day conservatism

    incest porn

    lack of outrage over priests fucking boys


    ryan seacrest

    the designated hitter

    clothes shopping

    not wearing condoms

    call of duty

    smoking cigarettes

    ass play

    black socks



    san diego

    super bad drivers

    not washing your hands after using a public rest room

    law & order

    marrying for money


    root beer


  3. Wednesday, December 28, 2016

    my computer has been broken for the last 2.5 days 


    i watched a lot of tv,

    gave the car dealership way too much money

    did my dishes

    cooked an amazing fish dinner

    saw half of the Magnificent Seven

    binged watched almost all of Catastrophe.

    joined a gang,

    got kicked out of a gang.

    watched two old episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm

    ate four Jack in the Box tacos (possible reason i was kicked out of said gang)

    ordered things from ebay on my omg phone.

    did a good deed for someone last night.

    and then went to the 99 cents store and got cereal and milk.

    and limes.

    i needed some rinds.

  4. Sunday, December 14, 2014

    theres so much i havent done in my life 

    terry and juliette

    ive never gotten a tattoo

    ive never put my thumb in a girls mouth and taken a picture

    while someone else was taking a picture of me.

    ive never been to catalina.

    ive never been to greece.

    <s>ive never kissed a girl and then her sister.</s>

    ive never written a screenplay.

    ive never been to yankee stadium.

    ive never been in the white house.

    ive never been to the super bowl or the grammys.

    ive never been to any of the halls of fame.

    ive never kissed a girl on a gondola in florence.

    ive never been to the watts tower.

    ive never been to the world series.

    i have no stories to tell.

  5. Monday, June 23, 2014

    of course this jinxes everything, but 

    tom morello and ernie banksi will never wear anything under a baseball jersey except a heavy metal concert tee.

    i will never trade arms for hostages.

    i will never give any solicitor money while im dining out at a restaurant.

    i will never read 95% of the books in my house.

    i will never eat 50% of the food in my freezer.

    i will never donate my amazing tshirt collection to the poor even though i love giving things to the poor.

    i will never spend more than $20 on shorts, $25 on a shirt, or $30 on pants even though i would wear them forever.

    i will never trust one two three four five people ever again.

    i will never go to a Cris Angel show again

    i will never jaywalk across sunset again on cinco de mayo.

    i will never believe that music without guitars can hold a candle to music with guitars.

    with that said, i will never stop being amazed by art tatum, the hendrix of jazz piano.

    i will never again ask a woman working at a fast food restaurant how many months along is she.

    i will never buy a washer dryer for this apartment but i still look at the ads in the paper all the time.

    i will never own a gun.

    i will never go mountain climbing.

    i will never stop drinking coca cola no matter how many kidney stones it creates.

    i will never take down my bedroom Christmas lights.

    i will never stop writing on the world famous busblog.

  6. Sunday, November 24, 2013

    when the bears lose all i wanna do is play piano and make lists 

    billy corgan at the piano in his house in chicago

    the other day katie made a list of her favorite concerts of her 20s

    and as i was thinking what mine were i realized that so many of my faves were before i was 21

    so heres my top 20 before 21:

    jackson 5, their last tour as kids, circle square theatre

    ac/dc back in black tour, rosemont horizon

    the police synchronicity tour, rosemont horizon

    motley crue, shout at the devil tour, aragon ballroom

    scorpions, love at first sting tour, rosemont

    billy idol, rebel yell tour, poplar creek

    springsteen born in the usa tour (sports arena, la coliseum)

    randy newman / richard thompson, new years eve 1985, wiltern

    fIREHOSE – santa monica college

    beastie boys, licensed to ill, hollywood palladium

    elvis costello – king of america, blood n chocolate 5 night run at the wiltern

    iron maiden live after death tour, long beach arena – SCREAM FOR ME LONG BEACH

    beasties / run dmc, together forever at the greek

    the replacements let it be tour at palladinos

    the replacements tim tour at the roxy

    u2 unforgettable fire tour at the sports arena

    lone justice, bogarts

    the balancing act, the anti club

    peter case and victoria williams, in their back yard

    forget college funds, parents should start rock show funds for their babies.

  7. Wednesday, May 22, 2013


    questions1. many
    2. i’m responsible for errything in my life
    3. constantly
    4. luckily
    5. coke adds life
    6. duh
    7. fortunately
    8. euphoria spills from many vessels
    9. ive had a few and rocked them all
    10. deeply
    11. in the movies, forgot which one maybe Gatsby
    12. black
    13. average
    14. 10/22/08
    15. black
    16. white
    17. anything with soul
    18. the busblog
    19. kiss
    20. dumbass
    21. for those about to rock
    22. tsar
    23. once or twice
    24. not going to prague with the nexus
    25. movie
    26. game of thrones
    27. there have been a few
    28. juggling
    29. Jesus
    30. blogging
    31. duh.
    32. okay shouldnt be a goal

  8. Sunday, January 27, 2013

    the 70 best AC/DC songs, in order 

    Angus Young70. Bedlam In Belgium
    69. C.O.D.
    68. War Machine
    67. She’s Got Balls
    66. Crabsody In Blue
    65. Safe In New York City
    64. That’s The Way I Wanna Rock N Roll
    63. Hard As A Rock
    62. Cover You In Oil
    61. Evil Walks
    60. Landslide
    59. Who Made Who
    58. Let’s Get It Up
    57. Beating Around The Bush
    56. Mistress For Christmas
    55. Goodbye & Good Riddance To Bad Luck
    54. I Put The Finger On You
    53. Get It Hot
    52. High Voltage
    51. Let Me Put My Love Into You
    50. Can I Sit Next To You Girl
    49. Giving The Dog A Bone
    48. Little Lover
    47. Up To My Neck In You
    46. There’s Gonna Be Some Rockin
    45. Rock ‘N’ Roll Singer
    44. Riff Raff
    43. Rock ‘N’ Roll Train
    42. Inject The Venom
    41. What You Do For Money Honey
    40. Rock ‘N’ Roll Damnation
    39. Live Wire
    38. Rocker
    37. Girls Got Rhythm
    36. Gimme A Bullet
    35. Shake A Leg
    34. Baby Please Don’t Go
    33. Walk All Over You
    32. Love At First Feel
    31. Shot Down In Flames
    30. Bad Boy Boogie
    29. Gone Shootin’
    28. Money Talks
    27. Have A Drink On Me
    26. Hell Ain’t A Bad Place To Be
    25. Ride On
    24. Squealer
    23. Ain’t No Fun (Waiting Round To Be A Millionaire)
    22. If You Want Blood You Got It
    21. Soul Stripper
    20. Problem Child
    19. Big Balls
    18. Down Payment Blues
    17. Jailbreak
    16. Night Prowler
    15. TNT
    14. The Jack
    13. Rock And Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution
    12. Touch Too Much
    11. Back In Black
    10. Highway To Hell
    9. It’s A Long Way To The Top (If You Want To Rock N Roll)
    8. Sin City
    7. Let There Be Rock
    6. Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
    5. Whole Lotta Rosie
    4. You Shook Me All Night Long
    3. For Those About To Rock (We Salute You)
    2. Shoot To Thrill
    1. Hells Bells

    ACDC Live At River Plate 2011 (Full Concert 12) [HD] from telework on Vimeo.

  9. Thursday, November 17, 2011

    id have kids only under a few circumstances 

    bunk beds

    1. theyd be triplets.

    2. theyd have to be super funny.

    3. they sport adorable hats.

    4. they had great british accents.

    5. someone was paying me.

    but seriously id be a terrible father. i would treat them like servants.

    id probably tip them. bring daddy your tip jar. thank you.

    itd probably look a lot like how trainers in wet suits at sea world always have a small bucket of fish ready for the dolphins.

    expect me to whistle and make little smacks out the side of my mouth.

    they’ll most likely kill me in my sleep.

    and bury me in a hole topped with those hats.

  10. Friday, July 4, 2008

    100 Greatest American Men of all Time 

    by tony pierce

    1. abraham lincoln, freed the slaves
    2. chuck berry, invented rock and roll
    3. elvis presley, embodied rock and roll
    4. bob dylan, legitimized rock and roll
    5. hugh hefner, embodied the american dream
    6. martin luther king jr., legitimized america
    7. muhammed ali, greatest of all times
    8. benjamin franklin, did it all
    9. jackie robinson, legitamized baseball
    10. michael jordan, set the standard of excellence
    11. charles bukowski, greatest american poet
    12. j.d. salinger
    13. frank sinatra
    14. les paul
    15. jimi hendrix
    16. philo t. farnsworth
    17. henry ford
    18. bill gates
    19. fdr
    20. larry flynt
    21. norman lear
    22. harry caray
    23. bill veeck
    24. willie mays
    25. mark twain
    26. howard stern
    27. hank williams sr.
    28. johnny cash
    29. john coltrane
    30. john f kennedy
    31. louis armstrong
    32. magic johnson
    33. charles mingus
    34. charles r. drew
    35. ted turner
    36. jack daniels
    37. eli whitney
    38. pete rose
    39. edward r. murrow
    40. george hallas
    41. william t. sherman
    42. thomas jefferson
    43. thomas edison
    44. henry aaron
    45. fredrick douglass
    46. the wright bros
    47. steven speilberg
    48. benjamin banneker
    49. timothy leary
    50. jesse owens
    51. matt groening
    52. lenny bruce
    53. richard pryor
    54. sammy davis jr.
    55. evil knievel
    56. ron popeil
    57. tiger woods
    58. spike lee
    59. kurt vonnegut
    60. ernest hemingway
    61. jerry garcia
    62. steve dahl
    63. tom dowd
    64. walter payton
    65. johnny carson
    66. howard cosell
    67. bill murray
    68. n.w.a
    69. bill clinton
    70. babe ruth
    71. miles davis
    72. chris berman
    73. lewis & clark
    74. chick hearn
    75. rick rubin
    76. robert oppenheimer
    77. the sugar hill gang
    78. john belushi
    79. col. harland sanders
    80. charlie parker
    81. thelonious monk
    82. kurt cobain
    83. berry gordy
    84. mike royko
    85. tom waits
    86. quentin tarantino
    87. al davis
    88. pt barnum
    89. duke ellington
    90. andy warhol
    91. buster keaton
    92. doc ellis
    93. mel blanc
    94. hunter s. thompson
    95. branch rickey
    96. steve jobs
    97. ev williams
    98. eddie rickenbacher
    99. william carlos williams
    100. rodney bingheimer