busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, October 22, 2013
  2. Sunday, January 6, 2013

    saw the craziest thing today 

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    this guy left the weed store and stood in front of me as we waited for the stop light to change

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    as he stood there i could smell the familiar aroma. but this was extremely strong.

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    the light changed and we walked past the hospital, past the ronald mcdonald house

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    past the chinese restaurant which just happened to have its grease can open for the kids

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    and it turned out dude was headed where i was headed, mcdonalds

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    and in the mcdonalds were two LAPD officers waiting for their food

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    and the dude ordered. and then i ordered. and then i looked at the cops.

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    and they looked at the dude and i was all, they must smell what i smell.

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    and maybe they did, but they didnt do anything.

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    they just got their lunch, walked out to the parking lot

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    and drove out into the streets of silver lake

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    to fight crime.

  3. Thursday, December 6, 2012

    34 best music videos of 2012. #34 Macklemore “Thrift Shop” 

    i am in the best mood tonight.
    who knows why.
    on paper it shouldnt be this way.
    i had a pretty sad and intense phone call with a lovely lady last night.
    a little bit heartbreaking if i can be honest with you.
    and then for the last few days ive been without a car.
    in LA.
    which is omg.
    good thing this is the busblog.
    now the car is faster than ever.
    now the mc rib is back
    for a limited time.
    after the car was picked up a mc rib found its way in me.
    it was the craziest thing.
    i was gonna go there Anyway.
    and at exactly the same time that i saw it in the featured spot
    the voice on the squawk box said welcome to mcdonalds
    would you like to try a mcrib today?
    I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO TRY A MCRIB TODAY!
    when i got to window number one she was all that’ll be $5.09.
    and i said I love McRibs.
    and she said, I love McRibs too.
    shoulda married her right then.
    shoulda totally officer and gentlemanned her
    picked her up in my arms, her in her uniform.
    my car still in the drive thru backing up hella traffic.
    mcribs on her lap.
    her arms around me.
    me carrying her out of the kitchen and into the dining room
    of our future.
    but no.
    instead i just took my bag of food
    drove into a nearby parking space.
    applied a generous amount of hand sanitizer to my dirty paws
    and squeezed out the ketchup onto the small stack of napkins
    ate some fries
    and then bit into the first mcrib of the season.
    diabetes cures all wounds.

  4. Wednesday, November 16, 2011

    i love jack in the box and mcdonalds. like, a lot. 

    jack in the box is open

    and i especially like that they really seem to do whatever they can to please me.

    but they dont need to work their people on thanksgiving.

    i can handle it.

    yes i will miss not having a mcrib at lunch

    yes i will miss not having two tacos at midnight.

    but i will survive.

    please let your people enjoy their little holiday where we celebrate

    being thankful

    lets really be thankful, the way americans should be thankful

    which, i hate to break it to you, and i am fast food’s numero uno fan-o,

    but the best way to be thankful on thanksgiving is not at mcdonalds

    or jack in the box.

    its in front of a tv, drinking bad american lite beer

    in our underwear

    and passing out of boredom.

    its not just a normal thursday.

    its take a break driver eight day.

  5. Sunday, November 13, 2011
     

    why does the limited run mcrib come out when it does? 

    apparently it all has to do with the delicious law of supply and demand

    who knew?

    all i know is ive had at least one mcrib a week

    and i know its nice to be able to say YES when the person in the drive thru box mumbles, “welcome to mcdonalds would you like to try the blah blah blah”?

    lately ive been alternating between

    F YES

    and OH HELL YES.

    the minimum wagers, of whom i used to be one of, seem to enjoy it.

    bon appetite!

     
  6. Tuesday, September 20, 2011

    mcdonalds poutine, a love story 

    mcdonalds poutine

    i have the strangest stomach. it can predict the future.

    but for it to work properly it needs to be fed with a steady diet of fast food.

    trust me, id rather eat fruits, nuts, vegetables and wholesome nutrients, but my stomach is a freaky organ (or is it a muscle – who knows).

    magnets, how do they work?

    anyway a few days back i found myself in a mcdonalds in hamilton, ontario, a place i may return to for lunch or linner later today.

    one thing i love to do when traveling to foreign lands is investigate fast food establishments and see how their menus differ from those i am accustomed to.

    south of montreal i discovered Burger King poutine and it basically changed my life.

    apparently, much like bacon wrapped hot dogs and taco truck tacos, the cheaper the poutine situation, the better the taste.

    thus what better than fast food poutine.

    for those Americans who havent had the pleasure, poutine is a bed of french fries garnished with a tangy gravy and cheese curds.

    mcdonalds poutine

    who has better fries than McDonalds? no one, duh. thus while the BK poutine was fantastic, the McDonalds poutine was just a smidge better because of the fries.

    not sure why but my McDonalds guy in Hamilton went the extra step of putting the poutine in the oven for a quick minute so that the cheese was extra melty much like a piping hot pizza.

    each forkful greeted us with a long string of gooey hot cheese. i had to twirl it around my plastic fork like spaghetti.

    i was in heaven.

    and although my tongue was deeply in love, my tummy reacted poorly almost immediately which meant that there was trouble ahead.

    so we high tailed it to the rent-a-car and got out of there

    right as the unmarked xbi van entered the parking lot.