busblog

if i had done that

ramie is a beautiful woman who loves mcdonalds nearly as much as i do. tonight i was all i hear they have a new thing going on over there. she said what, i said i dont know thats why i wanna go and find out.

i thought i heard they had this thing where you could get two small things for $2 and it turned out to be true.

you could get small fries, a chicken sandwich, a mcdouble, or three mozzarella sticks.

mozzarella sticks?!?!

indeed. so i was all fuckit i want like those, some fries, a mcchicken and some mcnuggets

the sticks were fine, but petite. sorta not worth it even for a buck. maybe if you have a kid.

and the weird thing is they dont have any options to get any larger size. like id pay $5 to get 20 of them. brotha needs 20. they also have to figure out how to make them stringier. the marinara sauce was fine, but any time im sitting down at a mcdonalds – which is rare – and i ordered something dippable, i’ll ask for hot mustard.

hot mustard is something no other mcdonalds has. they should exploit that.

they should introduce a new character

something sexy, and yellow, and spicy and delicious that adds a punch whatever it’s spread on.

angry drunk marge simpson?

which is probably the cutest thing ever.

right back at ya miss chile

my number one quality i want in a woman is someone who also loves mcdonalds

this guy left the weed store and stood in front of me as we waited for the stop light to change

as he stood there i could smell the familiar aroma. but this was extremely strong.

the light changed and we walked past the hospital, past the ronald mcdonald house

past the chinese restaurant which just happened to have its grease can open for the kids

and it turned out dude was headed where i was headed, mcdonalds

and in the mcdonalds were two LAPD officers waiting for their food

and the dude ordered. and then i ordered. and then i looked at the cops.

and they looked at the dude and i was all, they must smell what i smell.

and maybe they did, but they didnt do anything.

they just got their lunch, walked out to the parking lot

and drove out into the streets of silver lake

to fight crime.

i am in the best mood tonight.
who knows why.
on paper it shouldnt be this way.
i had a pretty sad and intense phone call with a lovely lady last night.
a little bit heartbreaking if i can be honest with you.
and then for the last few days ive been without a car.
in LA.
which is omg.
good thing this is the busblog.
now the car is faster than ever.
now the mc rib is back
for a limited time.
after the car was picked up a mc rib found its way in me.
it was the craziest thing.
i was gonna go there Anyway.
and at exactly the same time that i saw it in the featured spot
the voice on the squawk box said welcome to mcdonalds
would you like to try a mcrib today?
I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO TRY A MCRIB TODAY!
when i got to window number one she was all that’ll be $5.09.
and i said I love McRibs.
and she said, I love McRibs too.
shoulda married her right then.
shoulda totally officer and gentlemanned her
picked her up in my arms, her in her uniform.
my car still in the drive thru backing up hella traffic.
mcribs on her lap.
her arms around me.
me carrying her out of the kitchen and into the dining room
of our future.
but no.
instead i just took my bag of food
drove into a nearby parking space.
applied a generous amount of hand sanitizer to my dirty paws
and squeezed out the ketchup onto the small stack of napkins
ate some fries
and then bit into the first mcrib of the season.
diabetes cures all wounds.

and i especially like that they really seem to do whatever they can to please me.

but they dont need to work their people on thanksgiving.

i can handle it.

yes i will miss not having a mcrib at lunch

yes i will miss not having two tacos at midnight.

but i will survive.

please let your people enjoy their little holiday where we celebrate

being thankful

lets really be thankful, the way americans should be thankful

which, i hate to break it to you, and i am fast food’s numero uno fan-o,

but the best way to be thankful on thanksgiving is not at mcdonalds

or jack in the box.

its in front of a tv, drinking bad american lite beer

in our underwear

and passing out of boredom.

its not just a normal thursday.

its take a break driver eight day.

i have the strangest stomach. it can predict the future.

but for it to work properly it needs to be fed with a steady diet of fast food.

trust me, id rather eat fruits, nuts, vegetables and wholesome nutrients, but my stomach is a freaky organ (or is it a muscle – who knows).

magnets, how do they work?

anyway a few days back i found myself in a mcdonalds in hamilton, ontario, a place i may return to for lunch or linner later today.

one thing i love to do when traveling to foreign lands is investigate fast food establishments and see how their menus differ from those i am accustomed to.

south of montreal i discovered Burger King poutine and it basically changed my life.

apparently, much like bacon wrapped hot dogs and taco truck tacos, the cheaper the poutine situation, the better the taste.

thus what better than fast food poutine.

for those Americans who havent had the pleasure, poutine is a bed of french fries garnished with a tangy gravy and cheese curds.

who has better fries than McDonalds? no one, duh. thus while the BK poutine was fantastic, the McDonalds poutine was just a smidge better because of the fries.

not sure why but my McDonalds guy in Hamilton went the extra step of putting the poutine in the oven for a quick minute so that the cheese was extra melty much like a piping hot pizza.

each forkful greeted us with a long string of gooey hot cheese. i had to twirl it around my plastic fork like spaghetti.

i was in heaven.

and although my tongue was deeply in love, my tummy reacted poorly almost immediately which meant that there was trouble ahead.

so we high tailed it to the rent-a-car and got out of there

right as the unmarked xbi van entered the parking lot.