nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, July 22, 2014
  2. Saturday, July 19, 2014
  3. Monday, July 14, 2014

    dawn of the planet of the apes at the vista 

    dawn of the planet of the apes at the vista

    it was sunday at 1pm. the world cup final was on but a surprisingly lot of us decided to watch CGI monkeys run around the screen.

    i didnt get there early enough so i had to sit in the back row next to a grandmother on one side of me and a hyper active child on the other.

    nothing in here is true.

    i went because ppl on twitter were freaking out about how good andy serkis was as the main ape.

    i was bored. grandma was bored. we were all bored. sure it was great special effects

    but so what

    what did we learn in this one that we havent in the other seven of them other than stop going to them?

    ape with gun at the vista

    the one bright spot was the theatre manager dressed up in a monkey suit.

    the other bright spot was because it was before 6pm it was only $6.50.

    the price a picture should cost, dag nabbit.

    there was plenty of legroom and even way in the back the sound was still terrific.

    but meaningless.

    rotten tomatoes is giving it like a 94 or something. i dont know why.

    ive never felt so alienated from the rotten tomatoes before.

    i also thought the human acting was the pits, PS.

    no one clapped at the end and some of waited for nick fury to appear after the credits

    but, alas, no.

  4. Sunday, July 13, 2014

    James Cameron wrote an early version of the Spider-man script 

    it’s a little more daring than what we ended up seeing on screen

    She stands with her back against a girder, needing to feel
    something solid. Spider Man stands before her, a
    perfectly formed male silhouette with a soothing low


    Courtship among the spiders is highly

    ritualized. It varies from species to

    species. The male spider may circle the

    female, or wave his front legs… to

    signal that he is not prey.

    Spider Man moves in a hypnotic arc around her. He raises
    his hands in a dance-like movement. Lowers them.


    The female usually signals her

    willingness by an uncharacteristic


    MJ takes a deep breath. Her lip trembles. Her knees are
    weak. Her eyes, though, are steady, gazing at the
    silhouette before her. She doesn’t move of speak. He
    moves closer.


    In certain crab spiders, such as Xysticus,

    the male will attach strands of silk to

    the female… tying her limbs…

    Spider Man moves his hand gracefully across her, and she
    sees the sheerest silk webbing glinting in the moonlight.
    First one wrist. Then the other. Hypnotic movement in
    the moonlight. Her arms are bound to the wall. Her
    breathing gets more rapid.


    Since the female can break free at any

    time, the bonds have only symbolic



    The male must be very bold… to take

    such liberties with the predatory female.


    Yes. He is very bold. But he must also

    trust her.

    (he moves very close)

    Close your eyes.

    He removes his mask and kisses her. Their mouths very
    slowly and very sensuously devour each other.
    Peter and MJ are locked together. He is mesmerizing,
    gentle, powerful. He pushes up her skirt. They make
    love, high above the world.
    She doesn’t look.

  5. Thursday, July 3, 2014

    the prisoners ending 


    she was all come over im scared.

    i said im ubering tonights a huge night.

    socksshe went but i hate the fireworks and my dog keeps barking and the gangs are on the street and im having a panic attack.

    i was all its just little explosions in the sky, nothing bad happens.

    she said maybe i didnt make myself clear: come. over. now.

    i was having a great night. the rides were long, despite the traffic, all was good.

    i had even eaten sushi for lunch where the waitresses were all

    we never see you here in the daytime.

    i said thats cuz i never come here in the daytime.

    almost had too much food. salmon collar, rice, soup, mashed potatoes(!), broccoli.

    one passenger even gave me concert tickets to the indio girls and joan baez.

    i can come over on sunday.

    she was all now. arent you in the xbi? isnt this what you people do? help people?

    i laughed and told her im not in the xbi! thats all – why do you insist on believing the buttblog?

    what do you want me to make.

    i said, im full. seriously. so full.

    she was all i’ll make brownies in those socks you like.

    i said im watching my weight.

    she said hurry up, i want to see the prisoner. we can watch the prisoners.

    i nearly fell asleep. the brownies were good. and thats how i saw the prisoners.

  6. Saturday, June 28, 2014

    do the right thing looks just as great today as 25 years ago 

    do the right thing

    just as vibrant, just as shocking, even funnier, and if anything: more def defying.

    spike not only wrote a great story, but somehow the barbs and disses just

    slide out of the actors mouths

    so naturally.

    the audience, a tenth of which admitted they had never seen the film before, howled during the comedy and applauded throughout the special screening.

    when i was young this movie meant everything. back then in the back page of Jet they would show all the names of all the people who were on tv or in the movies that week. it was a small magazine and that page rarely filled up.

    and here was spike with a major movie? about race? dropping the same summer day as Batman with Jack Nicholson?

    tony pierce and chuck d at the do the right thing 25th anniversary screeningdefiant.

    today i learned spike has public enemy’s “fight the power” in the film eight times. who does that?

    it was filmed on one city block in bed-stuy on a $6.5 million budget.

    tonight we screened it at LACMA and i stood in the back of the red carpet reception was and Spike walked in and just stared at me as i got closer.

    photogs snapped away and he just stood there and stared. finally he says The Cubs? Oh Man. Da Cubs?

    i shrugged and smiled.

    one reason i wore the cap was because he always represents his teams no matter how old he gets, so i should too.

    then he smiled and said Nine Teen Oh EIGHT!

    click click click

    amazed, i retreated back to the back of the room. i was there to take a few pics and tweet a few times.

    so there i was in the back, chatting with the social media woman from LACMA when i see Chuck D walk into the room. he talked with a few people and then turns around and i say, hi Chuck. and instead of just waving and cruising over to the red carpet, he comes over shakes my hand and starts talking with me.

    i say hey im here with the academy, can i take a picture of you for our instagram?

    and he says only if it’s us together.

    elvis was a hero to most, but they never met chuck d.

    everyone adjourns to the packed Bing Theater and jon singleton (boyz in the hood, poetic justic, 2 fast 2 furious) moderates the panel of the casting director, the studio head, spike, roger guenveur smith (smiley), the younger brother at the pizza shop, and chuck. its only supposed to go a half hour, it nearly goes an hour.

    its insightful, fascinating, funny, and real. the crowd is laughing, everything was perfect.

    then the movie is about to start and spike says first he wants to show us something special, and its a video from the white house from the president and the first lady congratulating spike on the anniversary of the film. and they say their first date involved seeing the film. and then the president thanks him for being part of what helped him woo michelle.

    the film was non stop great lines, foreshadowing, and build up.

    but the whole time i was nervous that the last tweet i had out there might have had a typo or something. i was paranoid. but i was right in the middle of row in the middle of the house, of all people I cant be diddling around on my phone.

    so i said a little prayer like yo can you guys please make sure that tweet was ok, my hands are tied right now.

    and i tried to enjoy the movie and not worry, and i pretty much succeeded.

    i watched to see if you could tell it was all filmed in one block but ernest dickerson is a genius too. damn.

    on the way home bought a jack in the box munchie meal: breaded chicken nuggets with melted cheese drizzled over them, curly and regular fries, two tacos and a coke for $6.

    and couldnt believe chuck d (who was wearing an all black detriot cap) was so nice to me

  7. Thursday, June 19, 2014
  8. Wednesday, June 18, 2014

    today is roger ebert’s birthday, he woulda been 72 

    when Gene Siskel was alive, i didnt like Roger.

    even though their buildings were across the street from each other, many of us considered the Tribune the Cubs paper

    and the Sun-Times the White Sox paper

    Siskel wrote for the Trib so he was ok.

    the only person that i ever picked up the Sun-Times for was Mike Royko

    but at some point he switched sides and Trib was perfect.

    i was in Vegas one winter for one of the computer shows: either Comdex or CES, i dont recall

    and i saw Roger Ebert winding his way with purpose to the front door of the hotel

    so i walked with him and talked with him about Royko and Siskel and Chicago

    the last thing i wanted to talk with him about was movies but thats what he wanted to talk about

    so i told him i didnt think anyone ever made a movie as good as The Blues Brothers

    he said thats not true.

    and i said, and theyre not even trying.

    it brought a big smile to his face and when we got to the cabs i asked him if we could take a picture together

    and he said he’d be glad to.

  9. Sunday, June 15, 2014

    saw Maleficent while i got my 10,000 mile check up 

    Angelina Jolie

    the xbi mobile has been a good car so far.

    but like angelina jolie told me in 1994:

    cars are like hot bodies: keep good care of it – never take it for granted.

    so at 10,000 miles it was time for its first oil change, inspection, and tire rotation.

    something that would take a few hours the dealer told me.

    fine, i’ll see a movie.

    which one are you thinking about, he asked.

    well that tom cruise movie starts in 20 minutes.

    what else are you thinking about, he asked while shaking his head.

    oh you didnt like it?

    angelina jolie in venice

    i download a lot of movies and watch them on my phone, he admitted to me.

    they should have gotten an older guy to play that role

    or someone like that dude who played Thor, he added.

    no one ever says they shoulda gotten angelina jolie.

    maybe they dont think angelina jolie would say yes.

    shes busy with being a mom and making the world better and junk.

    Angelina Jolie

    but disney did ask her to be Maleficent a word i still cant spell or say.

    at the box office i actually had to talk to someone instead of use the machine

    and all sorts of gobbley goop came out until i said one for the angelina jolie.

    for some reason i thought she was gonna be an evil witch

    turned out she was a pissed off fairy.

    angie in 1994

    it was beautiful and she was perfect in every way.

    the story was good, it was interesting, there were surprises

    and even a lesson or two for all of us about prejudgements and appearances

    and how if you’re just super cool to people either they wanna kill you

    or be with you forever.

    but its a pretty good chance they’re gonna try to steal your best dance move.

    so keep rockin.

  10. Saturday, June 14, 2014

    the lede of the NYT review of ‘Saturday The 14th’ in 1982 

    ”Saturday the 14th” is not the worst horror film that opened here yesterday. That is ”The Boogens.” However, ”Saturday the 14th” is the most aggressively wasteful. It’s an unfunny horror-filmparody with a cast headed by Richard Benjamin, Paula Prentiss and Severn Darden , directed and written by Howard R. Cohen, who shouldn’t be trusted to park the cars of such people, much less make a movie with them. – vincent canby