nothing in here is true

  1. Friday, February 27, 2015

    saw breakfast at tiffany’s last night for the first time 

    breakfast at tiffany's thoughts:

    1. so wait, they were Both high class hookers?

    2. because he looks like her brother that made her wanna jump in his bed (literally) the first night they meet?

    3. that asian man was Mickey Rooney?

    4. that was an amazing stunt cat!

    5. people really used to dance at parties?

    6. liquor delivery? incredible!

    7. that sales clerk at Tiffany’s answered every question beautifully

    8. if she’s a hooker, what exactly does she spend her money on? her place is barren!

    9. in prisons you can just hang out with the bad guys? and bring any guest you want?

    10. that cat really felt ok with going back with Audrey right after she abandoned him?

    11. these are hookers who steal?

    12. this is a romantic movie?

    13. how many times are they gonna play that song? a million?

    14. no burglars ever use the fire escape to break into apartments… in NEW YORK CITY?

    15. why are we supposed to like Audrey Hepburn? cuz she looks good in a hat and weighs zero pounds?

    16. whats so special about this guy other than his hair?

    17. everyone wore suits back in the day, no matter where they went or what they were doing. so glad i didnt live back then.


    19. wow, her apartment had super high ceilings.

    20. they seriously let little girls watch this?

  2. Thursday, February 12, 2015
  3. Tuesday, February 3, 2015
  4. Friday, January 30, 2015

    i learned a bunch of stuff about the blues brothers today 


    our library has all these scripts and while researching for this other thing today i got to read the first 100 pages of the original 300+ page blues brothers script.

    very very very different, and i cant say better.

    which is to say whoever edited it and trimmed the fat knew what they were doing.

    the script gets into great detail about finding All of the band members one by one

    it includes the fact that elwood takes jake to a whore house like right after he gets out of jail

    and the part that i wanted to learn about was pretty long: elwood’s last day at his day job

    a chemical factory.

    what i was trying to learn was the secret of the blues brothers always being able to get away from the cops.

    turns out it due to two reasons that the movie doesnt really get into

    1. The Bluesmobile is actually a little magical

    2. Elwood’s arsenal of aerosol cans of chemicals

    parts were very funny like lightenig hawkins getting into a fight with john lee hooker

    but parts were also very tedious and predictable.

    And the “we’re on a mission from God” didnt appear in the first script or at least the first 100 pages. which i find weird. in fact they dont really even seem to “see the light” when they go to the church.

    and instead of James Brown being the preacher it’s a black guitar legend.

    super fascintating and i cant wait to go back to read more.

  5. Wednesday, January 28, 2015
  6. Tuesday, January 27, 2015

    today i learned about thora birch 

    snow kidthora was that young actress who was in American Beauty (but not the one who got naked with the dad) and was also in Ghost World with Scarlet Johnansson.

    Thora, and this is Oscar Trivia that you wont see on Trivial Pursuit, is the only actress to star in an Oscar-winning Best Picture film whose parents were xxx-rated stars.

    yes, both of them.

    in fact both of Thoras parents were not just porn stars but they both appeared in one of the most classic adult films ever: Deep Throat.

    so thats the fun part the cute part the trivia part the part that is unique and weird and all omg

    the sad part is about her dad.

    Thoras dad, despite being a former porn star, gets super weird when dudes stepped to his little girl

    even in movies!

    which as we all know are just like the busblog: make believe.

    thoras dad, allegedly, would blow his top when dudes would have love scenes with his angel and he would threaten them.

    maybe it was like a vietnam flashback? maybe if it wasnt a movie he’d be all cool?

    no, when thora was the ripe old age of 28 she was in a play

    A PLAY

    and mr birch threatened a young actor who was to get cozy with Thora and it basically got her fired from the production.

    which only goes to show you: you can tune a piano but you cant have your dad manage you if he was a porn star who met your mom on the set of Deep Throat.

    now take on the day

  7. Friday, January 23, 2015

    time to catch up 

    baby plane

    one of the best benefits of working at the academy starts this week.

    for the next couple of weeks we screen every movie nominated for every category: twice.

    this allows for the voting members to see the films before they vote for them, or re-see them.

    im not a voting member but because i do get to go.

    here is my little schedule, some days are empty cuz ive seen the films:

    tonight: Capt. America: The Winter Soldire
    saturday: X-Men: Days of Future Past
    sunday: Foxcatcher
    monday: Beyond the lights
    tuesday: Nightcrawler
    weds: Glen Campbell… I’ll Be Me
    sat 1/31: American Sniper
    mon: Finding Vivian Maier
    tues: Still Alice
    weds: Last Days in Vietnam
    thrs: The Theory of Everything
    fri: Citizen Four
    sat 2/7: Begin Again
    sun: Live Action Shorts, Animation Shorts, The Box Trolls
    mon: Song of the Sea
    tues: Tangerines
    weds: Mr. Turner
    thurs Timbucktu, Ida

  8. Thursday, January 8, 2015
  9. Thursday, December 25, 2014

    ali was all lets have a drink 

    rustic inn

    shes of the jewish persuasion which means her parents made mexican food last night

    i had a pizza and i tossed a little tuna fish into the kitties bowl.

    why not.

    we drank and the music was beautiful, mostly classic rock and a little metal.

    it’s interesting which places are open and which are closed on christmas eve.

    and today i watched movies and passed out as the kittens curled up next to me

    and i chilled to the next episode.

    tonight i’ll dine with jeanine, who today is 100 days sober.

    the best movie i watched today was wreck-it ralph, second time ive seen it.

    the details, the messages, damn.

    and way better than frozen

  10. Tuesday, December 16, 2014

    whiplash is the movie of the year 

    whiplashthere was a time when studios would send over pretty girls to deliver me tapes of their films so i could write about them for the busblog and reach the smartest and most worldly readers in the world.

    when theyd come over and pour drinks and give me massages they would tell me they were from the academy but once i started working here i learned they werent from the academy, they were from the studios: or worse, hired by the studios to seduce me and influence my virgin mind into thinking that thier films were amaze times ten

    so when i got a knock on my door last night as the drizzle came down and it was two young ladies dressed in santa suits with revealing cleavage i was all, wrong number

    they were all, tony? tony pierce?

    i was like, he’s across the street, and pointed at the sighentology church.

    they laughed and said come on we’re huge fans simply here to deliver you this dvd from the academy.

    i said, ah HA ive finally caught you in your bed of lies, i work there now and we dont have any such group of runway models who run around hustling screeners to influencers and powerfully handsome bloggers.

    and then they started crying so i let them in because tears.

    right as i shut the door another knock sounded and i opened it and it was italian food being delivered. the ladies whipped out some cash and started playing with my cats as i hunted in my kitchen for clean dishes and glasses. failed and decided we would just eat it out of the box as we watched the powerful film.

    super great, super intense, great music, fantastic acting, and unreal directing by a guy who at 29 years old had never directed before!

    in the morning the girls asked me what my top five list of films were for this year and i said this is actually super easy:

    1. whiplash

    2. birdman

    3. the grand budapest hotel

    4. the lego movie

    5. boyhood

    and each of them kissed my cheek.