nothing in here is true

  1. Thursday, July 19, 2018
  2. Monday, May 28, 2018

    sometimes i forget the magic tricks 

    that got me here

    that make me me

    that make me better than the others

    that make me sparkle a little on the lineup

    and one of those things is


    what happens is i get hella impatient and assume that just because one plus one is working out, that two plus two should be right in the pocket too

    but they are mutually exclusive.

    and constantly changing. see it’s not even 2 plus 2 any more it’s 3 times ten.

    everythings constantly moving and spinning and growing and mutating. youre old enough to know that curveballs not gonna hit you.

    and if it does youve got a helmet on.

    walked through DTLA tonight alone, eating from a bag of funyuns feeling good.

    maybe a little too good.

  3. Monday, May 14, 2018

    i think i know what movie i wanna make 

    oscar levant was a concert pianist who was so beloved at one point he was the highest paid pianist in the world

    he was also so funny and smart that he he wrote books and was a regular guest on all the talk shows and game shows of the time.


    he had incredibly low self esteem.

    George Gershwin, who was writing music at that time, said Oscar, I love you, please be my friend.

    so they became friends and any time Gershwin wrote something new and handed it to Oscar

    Oscar would play it in a more beautiful way than George ever imagined.

    but still Oscar thought George was full of shit whenever he praised him.

    im not very good, he thought to himself.

    in fact im close to terrible.

    so he got involved with drugs. bad drugs. the baddest drug of them all: heroin.

    but it was codenamed Demerol.

    and it ate at his beautiful brain.

    all of his celebrity friends marveled at him, his sense of humor, his quick wit, his vocabulary and his neurosis

    but they always assumed his instability was either a complicated put on

    or something that he could keep in check.

    he couldn’t.

    he was assigned to one mental institute after another. until he finally died in one.


    and alone.

    i think Jonah Hill would be perfect.

    but maybe John Legend would be more perfect because it would be cool to have the piano playing be real and believable.


  4. Monday, April 2, 2018

    fuck what people think 

    50 years ago today Stanley Kubrick’s classic “2001: A Space Odyssey” debuted in Washington DC to mixed reviews, mostly negative ones.

    A few days later at its New York premiere, people booed and walked out.

    “It lacks dramatic appeal to a large degree and only conveys suspense after the halfway mark…. The plot, so-called, uses up almost two hours in exposition of scientific advances in space travel and communications, before anything happens, [including] the surprisingly dull prolog… Film ends on a confused note, never really tackling the ‘other life’ situation and evidently leaving interpretation up to the individual viewer. To many this will smack of indecision or hasty scripting.”  – Variety

    “A small sphere of intellectuals will feel that Kubrick has said something, simply because one expected him to say something.” – NY Daily News

    “It is phony on many points, even for specialists. For a true work of art, the fake must be eliminated.” – Andrei Tarkovsky

    We are here for a heartbeat. We are iPhones with no battery charger. When we die the poor will ravish us for our copper.

    So while we are here we can sit around like a dolt taking orders from this one or that one

    Or we can rock.

    You don’t need confidence, you don’t need talent, you don’t need courage. For even a dog when he sees a cat knows to run after it at high speeds.

    Life is the cat.

    Run after it.

    At high speeds.

    Kubrick had a vision. He worked with the author Arthur C. Clarke. He built props and stages. He never used many of them. He had a vision. Were people who weren’t Stanley Kubrick in his ear telling him that he was spending too much money or that the script was lacking or the music was wrong or there weren’t any stars in the film?

    Were people saying, why is half of this space movie about prehistoric monkeys who don’t say any words?

    Probably. But because Stanley Kubrick was a dog he ran after what he was supposed to run after and we are all luckier because of it.

    And for damn sure we should celebrate that some jackhole didn’t tie him to some tree in the backyard.

    Live your life. Make your art. Make it weird and beautiful and unlike anything that anyone has ever seen.

    Those of you who make art, that is actually your job.

    Don’t be a thief. Be you. Be the most you you can be and if people don’t like it, good. People didn’t like the Velvet Underground or Van Gogh or GG Allin or The Replacements or Tsar or even Pinkerton when it came out.

    But people sure loved Milli Vanilli. A whole bunch of them voted to give Milli Vanilli a Grammy. Where is the list of those geniuses?

    Make art, not friends.

    Make the artiest art you can art. If people say peeee-youuuu, kiss them on the cheek because I bet you those people are not Lou Reed and you need to give those people the kiss of death.

    50 years after you have made your art, no one is going to say “Yes but I wonder what Kathy Lee and Hoda thought about it.”

    They’re gonna say, Tony Pierce made that and I loved it.

    And I love it even more now.

    Now go catch that fucking cat.

  5. Sunday, March 11, 2018

    daylights savings fucked me up today 

    both my tax lady and i canceled on each other

    couldnt sleep.

    felt like a batter who just couldnt get around on it.

    but then i saw on twitter that tiger woods was trending.

    dudes back.

    second to last hole he needed to gain some ground on the leader

    he smacks this huge driver.

    then gets on the green from 220.

    and somehow sinks a 19 foot putt uphill with a curve.

    this weekend wrinkle in time was #2 in the box office behind black panther

    it’s the first time two black directors were 1-2 in the box office in the usa

    im starting to think we can do anything.

  6. Sunday, January 21, 2018

    i think i have a good idea 

    funny cat is funnyi think i have, actually, many good ideas

    amber is napping, charles mingus is on the bluetooth

    one cat is sleeping on the floor, the other is on the bookshelf gnawing on the corner of it

    i want to get this idea in the right hands

    but tomorrow i have to get to sleep early because tuesday i have to be at work at 4am.

    because of the oscar nominations.

    which should be exciting, and we get to leave early when it’s over, after we do a few things, nothing too strenuous.

    and then we can get back to sleep.

    today i watched football and half of this hank williams movie.

    last night we watched the Tonya Harding movie and amber cried because shes sensitive to violence.

    which makes me feel like i have the blackest heart because i wasnt effected at all

    except for near the end, margot robbie, as tonya was delivering this great monologue and

    man it hit me.

    because she was right, i had my opinion of her, based on a hand full of reports

    this was all pre internet

    but even today how often do we judge people without fully researching the sitch

    the cat is now done with the bookshelf and sitting as close to ambers feet as possible

    mingus keeps swinging

    and i keep a-thinking…

  7. Wednesday, December 20, 2017

    saw this really good movie last week called Wonder 

    in it is a line that has struck me

    If you have a choice between
    being right and being kind,
    choose kind

    i am definitely guilty of keeping it

    a little too real,

    especially here on the internet.

    but to live up to that quote would be quite an interesting little enterprise, let me tell you

    especially here on the internet.

    theres that other saying that goes,

    take it easy on people bro, you dont know what they’re up against.


    which this movie brings home in a special way. because some people seem like they have it one way, but behind the scenes something is completely different. just  like how pictures of downtown LA make it look so beautiful.

    but when you get in there…

    it’s a different type of beautiful.

    drove this old korean guy across town today. he sat in the front. talk talk talked with a heavy accent.

    told me how he got pulled over by the cops in the 60s in LA and he admitted to the cop that he was too young to drive

    and the cop said, get it together, and sent him on his way.

    told me that he wants his little son to be good at piano.

    i was all i would love to be good at piano.

    and we got to his spot and he said,

    i apologize if i spoke too much. in korean culture, a man should be quiet.

    i said my man you’re in america,

    let it out.

  8. Tuesday, December 19, 2017

    it doesnt feel like christmas this winter in LA 

    it’s hot, it’s windy, it’s dusty

    somethings going on weird and it’s made me sick twice in the same month.

    today my boss sent me home cuz i was coughing and snorting and looking half dead.

    so i worked a little at home and passed out on the couch thanks to the benadryl.

    amber was home but then hiked to griffith as i snoozed

    then she ubered to her company party as i researched for next week.

    all while having Mindhunter on in the background, and now Somewhere.

    is this what its all about Prince asks me from the tub

    is this how you turn the corner, Michael meows from the sink.

    the back door makes some noise and then amber arrives, cold cheeks, smiles, cookies tucked in her bag

    heels clicking


    “i like this movie,” she says.



    “but i forget what it’s called.”

  9. Sunday, December 17, 2017

    kurt cobain liked lists, so here are my favorite films by year 

    1925 Seven Chances
    1926 The General
    1927 Metropolis
    1928 Steamboat Bill, Jr.
    1929 The Taming of the Shrew
    1930 The Blue Angel
    1931 M
    1932 Freaks
    1933 Duck Soup
    1934 It Happened One Night
    1935 A Night at the Opera
    1936 Modern Times
    1937 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
    1938 Room Service
    1939 The Wizard of Oz
    1940 His Girl Friday
    1941 Citizen Kane
    1942 Casablanca
    1943 Stormy Weather
    1944 Double Indemnity
    1945 Spellbound
    1946 It’s a Wonderful Life
    1947 Miracle on 34th Street
    1948 Oliver Twist
    1949 The Third Man
    1950 Sunset Boulevard
    1951 The African Queen
    1952 Singin’ In The Rain
    1953 Roman Holiday
    1954 Rear Window
    1955 To Catch a Thief
    1956 The Ten Commandments
    1957 Throne of Blood
    1958 Vertigo
    1959 Some Like It Hot
    1960 The Apartment
    1961 Breakfast at Tiffany’s
    1962 The Miracle Worker
    1963 The Birds
    1964 Marriage Italian Style
    1965 The Sound of Music
    1966 The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
    1967 Belle de Jour
    1968 2001: A Space Odyssey
    1969 Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
    1970 Two Mules for Sister Sara
    1971 A Clockwork Orange
    1972 The Godfather
    1973 Enter The Dragon
    1974 Young Frankenstein
    1975 Dog Day Afternoon
    1976 The Bad News Bears
    1977 Star Wars
    1978 Animal House
    1979 The Jerk
    1980 The Blues Brothers
    1981 Stripes
    1982 Fast Times at Ridgemont High
    1983 Scarface
    1984 This is Spinal Tap
    1985 The Breakfast Club
    1986 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
    1987 Evil Dead II
    1988 Coming To America
    1989 Do the Right Thing
    1990 Goodfellas
    1991 Cape Fear
    1992 The Player
    1993 Jurrasic Park
    1994 Pulp Fiction
    1995 Empire Records
    1996 Happy Gilmore
    1997 Gummo
    1998 The Truman Show
    1999 Being John Malkovich
    2000 Bring It On
    2001 Moulin Rouge!
    2002 8 Mile
    2003 Old School
    2004 Kill Bill: Volume 2
    2005 The 40 Year-Old Virgin
    2006 Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
    2007 Superbad
    2008 The Dark Knight
    2009 Fantastic Mr. Fox
    2010 Scott Pilgrim vs The World
    2011 The Artist
    2012 Moonrise Kingdom
    2013 Spring Breakers
    2014 The Lego Movie
    2015 Mad Max: Fury Road
    2016 Rogue One
    2017 The Last Jedi
  10. Saturday, December 16, 2017

    saw star wars the last jedi at the 1030 screening 

    i hate being spoiled. i have no idea why people love to ruin movies for others.

    and yet they do which is why i go to movies the night they come out – if not sooner.

    everyone at work were all jacked for the show, which got me into it so i got my tickets a few days ago

    almost to see if i could

    and thankfully every theatre in town was showing it all day and all night

    so we got some on the left side about halfway up at the AMC Burbank 16 and i gotta say, what a great theater.

    it was a big room, stadium seats, and the sound was great.

    the movie was fantastic. wayyyyy better than i expected: scary, thrilling, at times funny. some lessons for one and all.

    one of the lessons i learned from just watching it all was


    im sure this director and Lucas and so many others were in awe of Kubrick’s 2001.

    but for decades they sat there in that awe and made one mediocre space film after another.

    but this guy, this Rian Johnson, he was all, i know this is the Star Wars universe, i know you love Chewie and R2 and the rest

    but im gonna do something a little bit different here.

    in a way its a bit Star Treky which is funny because Trek has found recent success being more like Wars.

    but then he brings out the big guns be them ships or cannons or Walkers or bombers

    and is all,

    say hello to my little friend.

    we all have little friends.

    don’t be afraid to use em.