busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, August 2, 2016

    remember that time 

    moxiewhen everything was beautiful and you could meet a cute blonde babe at a blogger mixer and

    you could get her number and she let you drive her home in her porche

    but she’d say my place is messy, how about yours

    and you take her to your crib and youd think im the luckiest man in the world

    and you knew she was maybe a republican, but nothing serious because those times were innocent

    and she’d say i’ll have a drink with you but im not sleeping with you and youd wink back and say uh huh

    and youd slip into something more comfortable (sweat pants and a robe) and she’d say why are you lubing up, i said we werent sleeping together

    and youd say oh im 97 years old, this is for my arratica.

    and shed say whats arratica

    youd say i get it whenever a smokin hot babe who i only knew from stage and screen is somehow in my lair but shes gonna wanna be the little spoon

    and because im a gentleman ive just gotta close my eyes and think about pete rose all night.

    remember when there were things about pete rose that you could think about other than him selling his autograph in vegas malls

    wearing a weird Donald Trump hat but instead of lets make america dumb again it says

    hit king

    and soon shes asleep and you think is she drunk? how is she asleep? how does a girl fall asleep in a strange mans bed that quickly

    a strange man fully lubed with his arratica grease on his personage

    christmas lights twinkling, lou reed serenading

    disco ball rotating

    smoke machine

    machining

    and

  2. Saturday, January 12, 2008

    today is moxie von foxy’s birthday 

    today she turns 25. i know. freaky.

    not your typical rightwing blogger, moxie refused to be part of the pajamas media clusterfuck, outwardly talks shit about the tennessee professor, and occasionally finds herself giving out her phone number to african americans (pictured).

    i first met moxie at super producer brian linse’s historic LA blog party way back in ’02. pretty much everyone who mattered was there: doc searls, matt and emmanuelle, ben sullivan, eric and dawn olsen, bill quick the man who invented the word blogosphere, greg vaine, mickey kaus, and even charles johnson of little green footballs.

    it was clearly a moment out of Quadraphenia because we were innocents talking in a shower, not yet realizing that some of us were mods and others were rockers. thus we all got along. and now some of us are pretending that we hate each other depending on whether we think the current president is the worst ever or otherwise.

    mox and i have always kept politics out of it which is why we have stayed friends all this time. usually she just smiles and i just undress her with my eyes. simple.

    most recently we could be heard on her nowlive radio show, MoxVox, but because (for some reason) she let her sorta boyfriend and her parents know that she was on the radio, i was instructed not to talk about sex drugs and rock. the trinity for good radio. thus i went my own way and she hers. but trust me i watched her walk out and told her how well she was moving that assssss.

    ’07 wasnt particularly kind to our girl. two of her closest friends passed away: cathy seipp, and her constant companion, the feline Bentley.

    i believe she also got rid of her Porsche. damn shame.

    what i love about the photo above is it captures the moment when, minutes after we met, she began telling me her phone number.

    i love that we both seem very happy about it all.

    happy birthday baby. i hope you have your go go boots on.

  3. Friday, August 10, 2007

    me and moxie were on the radio yesterday 

    internet radio. wave of the future. bringing back the past.

    we were late because of a duo of crazy accidents on the 101 going north at 3:30pm

    but as we did the show everything went great. but moxies friend steve just kept saying these things that were just so different from my reality of the world that i didnt really know what to say.

    listen to the deal on the player, you’ll see. ours was the 8/9 MoxVox.

    ah live radio gotta love it.

    and i love moxie. baby, thanks for having me.

    so afterwards we met the ceos of the company who does this and they want to do something with LAist like maybe give us a show or something and i think moxie wants me to do this with her next week so i promise to mellow it out a little and be not so hyper

    but then this bonus happened. ok well mox picked me up at 3. we had to be in calabassas at 4. no prob. except while we were driving i realized that i hadnt eaten a bite of anything all day. probably cuz i wake up at 11am.

    so i was starving when we got to the studio, we did almost an hour, i got to talk about matt goods record, we played Born Losers and talked about ron paul and weed and i was soooooo starving when we were done

    and in comes a bag of mcdonalds. for us. as thanks for doing the show or something.

    so unbelievable. and it was a grilled chicken sandwhich? how did they know?

    but even better we’re talking to the one guy then the other and hes showing me a video camera hooked up thru an EVDO card like what i have for my laptop meaning you could broadcast video live or some shit

    and we’re talking about how adrianne curry is on the station too and in she walks!

    i extend my hand to shake it and she says my hand is all wet and im all yeah whatever im from chicago (i know shes from joliet cuz ive seen every episode of her tv show with peter brady) and insist on shaking her hand

    someone gives her an angus burger and she sits down on the floor cuz i guess shes starving too and i realize everyone has chairs so i run out wheel in a chair and say here you go americas next top model

    she was so funny you wouldnt believe it. and looks amazing. and apparntly got new boobs she was telling everyone about but moxie had to run so i was all, hey can we interview you next week at this time before your show and she was all fine. seriously not impressed with moi but whatevs, first being on the radio then seeing the future then meeting her

    so rad, totally amazing, and i didnt have two things on me because as every girl who has ever had to live with me knows, it takes me exactly one million hours to leave the house because i can never find my wallet my keys my camera my phone my dick my something ipod stiletto eight foot bong something

    because mox was driving i wanted to get baked on the way up there but i couldnt find a pipe and i wasted my getting ready time looking for that shit and forgot

    my wallet and my camera

    so sorry no pics of mrs christopher knight who im telling you couldnt be cooler.

  4. Friday, April 1, 2005

    well, it was bound to happen one day. 

    me and moxie and moxie pleaded with me to announce this yesterday like she did so people would acutally believe us, but i put Lick up so it would be on time. then we got it on for the sixth time and because im olde i passed out in a happy little heap in the last bachelor pad that i will ever have.

    the first person who knew was my landlord. I told him two weeks ago that I was going to propose and if she said yes I would like to get of my lease. Because I pay so little rent you could see his smile through the phone. He’s been trying to get me out of that apartment for years. The place on the left and the right are now renting for twice my rent and my place is bigger and better than both of them.

    then i had to tell my college girlfriend Jeanine who picked out the ring and put in a bigger and better diamond. Moxie is a classy girl, so we decided a vintage ring was the way to go.

    i also told karisa because of all the girls i know, for some weird reason i thought i would eventually marry her. she and i get along perfectly, and we share a lot of similar beliefs, but shes the wrong sign and we’ve never gotten past that. and now that she has a man who is all the things that i will never be: tall, rich, hung, i knew we’d only be Just Friends.

    if only we woulda had one night in the sack, i know she woulda come around… oh well. a man needs friends. im told.

    the last person i told was my “true love”. she knew how close moxie and i have been over this year, but i wanted to make sure that there was no way in hell that she wanted to get back with me. chris was clear. she said there was no way in hell. i was all what if hell froze over. she said even if hell froze over i wouldnt be getting back up in that shit.

    i didnt tell my mom, cuz she woulda wanted to come to the ceremony, i didnt tell my friends cuz they woulda wanted to come, she didnt tell her friends or family cuz they probably woulda said, “youre marrying a black liberal?”

    many funny things about this relationship and our blogs. even though i say that nothing in here is true, the belief out there is that i have a turnstyle to my apartment where all the hot young ladies of la just come in and out. so not true. shit, look at me!

    then moxie has been sobbing over these totally ridiculous boring NOT HANDSOME bros and people totally believe it. have none of her readers ever met her or looked at her? the girl is fucking on fire. and smart. and funny! and totally parties.

    who on earth would believe the crap that she has been writing over there?

    apparentely everyone.

    so we went with it. i wrote about dating cheerleaders (which i was doing up until about a year ago) and she wrote about being all bummed out with her love life (which was the furthest from the truth).

    this valentines we had a super romantic day, and she tried to give her readers hints that she wasnt going out with a long haired pretty boy bush lover. tell me that illustration isnt the epitome of me and my new wife.

    and lately, if youve noticed, ive been putting up lots of pictures up of my favorite family, the cobains. moxie has always wanted to tie me down, and ive always said that theres no way i could marry a republican with no ass. her arguement was that kurt got married in his twenties to a woman who might not have been the most stable person for him, but they made a beautiful baby who will probably save rock and roll.

    she said our children would save america, and thus the world.

    so i was in.

    it didnt hurt that she f’s like a beast. 4 times a day is rare. normally we go 6-7. she claims thats what normal people do when theyre in love. apparently ive only been in love a few times cuz i dont remember that sort of action.

    because we never talk about politics, ever, we never fight. if Bush does something stupid and we’re watching tv we will change the channel. i will laugh to myself quietly, but i wont bring it up. if i do she tells me she wont put on the little slinky thing she knows i like, so i shut my trap and say something like, ooh, look at the new beyonce video.

    i will reserve talking about the special day that i proposed and we eloped cuz some things should remain private. both of our lives are generally public, to a point, but some things are extremely personal, and thats why we got hitched the way we did. shes a deeply personal person and i couldnt care less what people think one way or the other, so it was cool with me to keep the affair, proposal, and nuptials just between her me and the lord above.

    feel free to meet us for drinks at Marie Callendar’s on Wilshire on Monday after 6pm, which is a few hours before the Tsar show at the El Rey.

    we love all of you and we plan on celebrating with everyone on Monday and later this month.

    mox’s announcement + the first time we met + more pics from that day

  5. Saturday, April 19, 2003

    moxie put this picture of herself 

    up on her blog the other day and got 71 comments.

    i would like to get 71 comments.

    i think what helped was that a lot of the people either talked about how hot moxie looked, or they put in quotes from their favorite movie lines.

    movie lines are ok, but also feel free to comment on any changes or improvements that you’d like to see to the busblog.

    one of the interesting things that i get to see are the good suggestions that people make.

    a lot of times they say dont change a thing.

    sometimes i do what they suggest.

    for example, there could easilly be a lot of nudity on the busblog. i mean, i am pro-nude, after all.

    some of it is an extension of my religious beliefs. i am a Christian and most of us feel that the human body is a beautiful reflection of God’s amazing creations.

    when adam and eve ate from the tree and covered themselves, it wasnt because anyone said the human body was bad, they just felt embarrassed, and that sort of dumbass reaction was what tipped God off into knowing that something was wrong in the garden.

    He never said that they should be covering themselves.

    anyway, long ago i got some good advice to stay away from the nudes on the blog since a lot of people would like to read it while they are at work.

    once i got an email from someone who said that his network at work was blocking the busblog from being accessed because of its adult content.

    i didnt have any adult content so i emailed their IT guy who said that it wasnt cause of my content it was cuz too many people were going to it too often and it had nothing to do with their work.

    everything is context.

    when chris and i were doing laundry yesterday we saw this big muscleman guy stuff newspapers in his clothes.

    he had finished his laundry but i saw he was putting a lot of it on.

    then it looked like he had a huge diaper on.

    then he kept putting newspaper down his shirt, up the sleeves, down the pants.

    i tried not to stare, but come on.

    later chris said, do you think its cuz he’s homeless and thats how you stay warm?

    i said, maybe he’s about to go get his ass kicked.

    moxie + madpony