nothing in here is true

  1. Friday, October 16, 2015
  2. Monday, September 21, 2015

    i am the most complicated man 


    i try to avoid the past but half of my thoughts are about the past.

    i try to live in the now but i cant help but try to predict the future.

    when i go to chicago i love love love it but when i come back home i love it even more.

    the kids love me and i love them but if i never have any thatd be fine with me but if i ever had some im sure id be an incredible dad or the worst of all because i would keep it real with them and say things like

    bill murray and carrie fisherlife isnt fair dont ever think it is.

    i wouldnt tell them shit about santa claus id point to the portrait over the fireplace of a black Jesus and id say its that guy’s birthday coming up and we should do stuff for OTHER people instead of asking for a barbie dream house. its not even your birthday! how do you think you should get a bunch of stuff and chop down a tree and leave cookies out for reindeers we live in Hollywood, how many reindeers you see here baby?

    but then id probably buy them the biggest barbie dream house of all and sign it, happy my birthday – jesus.
    my cats missed me. they came running to me when i got home last night. they were all hey man thought you croaked or something.

    xbi texted me while i was on the FlyAway bus asking how the Feel No Pain remedy worked on my arms and hands and i dont wanna tell them that it totally worked but they know.

    lord knows, they know.

    today is bill murrays birthday and i dont know what to do about it. drink without a shirt? walk down Hollywood Blvd. and just congratulate everyone I pass?

    he had the best advice about being rich and famous, he said if thats what you really want to do, just be rich. and then be super generous to everyone without telling them youre rich. no one has to know. he said that would cover most of what you get out of being famous.

    and the best is you avoid the people who just want you cuz yr famous.

    guess bill screwed that part up.

    do you know  something that i love today?

    i love that Ryan Adams covered Taylor Swift’s entire album, 1989, which was pretty terrible, but a band called Father John Misty covered Adams’ cover of Blank Space in the style of Lou Reed.

    THIS is a record I want.

    I’d buy a damn record player just to play it if it only came on vinyl.

    i also love that i have today off so i can do my laundry and read the bible and order thai and maybe take a nap with the window open and the fan blowing

    knowing that Jay Cutler wont lose the game for the Bears next Sunday or probably the Sunday after that

    and the Cubs are peaking at exactly the right time.

    timing, as you know, is everything.

  3. Saturday, September 5, 2015
  4. Sunday, August 23, 2015

    i listened to this song about ten times today 

    “that’s enough”
    by Dorothy Love Coates

    There’s always somebody talkin bout me, really i don’t mind
    They try to block and stop my progress most of the time
    Well the mean things you said don’t make me feel bad
    Cause I can’t miss a friend that I never had

    (I’ve got) I’ve got jesus and that’s enough (that’s enough) that’s enough
    When I’m sick (he’s there) and troubled (he’s there)
    When I call him he will answer my prayers (answer my prayers)
    When I’m burdened (he’s there) with a load (he’s there)
    That’s when Jesus is a comforter (to my soul)
    Well you may scorn me turn your back on me
    God’s got his arms wrapped all around me

    (I’ve got) I’ve got jesus and that’s enough (that’s enough) that’s enough

    You know there’s been so many times that I did’nt have a dime
    And i did’nt tell nobody but the Lord
    He heard my plea and came to see about me cause he’s one thing
    I can afford
    So if you push me down he’ll pick me up
    And he’ll stick by me when the goin’ gets tough

    (I’ve got) I’ve got jesus and that’s enough (that’s enough) that’s enough
    Well he’s the great emancipator and my heart regulator (Jesus is)
    yes he is
    He’ll make my way brighter and my burdens lighter yes he will
    (Jesus will)
    Well you may scorn me turn your back on me
    God’s got his arms wrapped all around me
    And he fights down the devil till he makes him give up
    And thats wnough (that’s enough) that’s enough
    When I’m sick (he’s there)

  5. Wednesday, July 22, 2015
  6. Sunday, May 10, 2015
  7. Saturday, April 25, 2015

    weirdest song ive heard in a while 


    “The Poor Side of Town”
    written by Johnny Rivers and Lou Adler

    Do-doo-doo-wah shoo-be-doo-be
    Do-doo-doo-wah shoo-be-doo-be

    How can you tell me how much you miss me
    When the last time I saw you, you wouldn’t even kiss me
    That rich guy you’ve been seein’
    Must have put you down
    So welcome back baby
    To the poor side of town

    To him you were nothin’ but a little plaything
    Not much more than an overnight fling
    To me you were the greatest thing this boy had ever found
    And girl it’s hard to find nice things
    On the poor side of town

    I can’t blame you for tryin’
    I’m tryin’ to make it too
    I’ve got one little hang up baby
    I just can’t make it without you

    So tell me, are you gonna stay now
    Will you stand by me girl all the way now
    With you by my side
    They can’t keep us down
    Together we can make it baby
    From the poor side of town

    (So tell me how much you love me)
    (Come be near to me and say you need me now)

    Oh, with you by my side
    This world can’t keep us down
    Together we can make it baby
    From the poor side of town

    Do-doo-doo-wah shoo-be-doo-be
    Do-doo-doo-wah shoo-be-doo-be
    Do-doo-doo-wah shoo-be-doo-be

    Nick Lowe covered it a few years ago

    but this is the Rivers original

    Rivers also wrote “Secret Agent Man”

    and Adler, among other things, sits courtside with Jack at Lakers games
    lou adler and jack

  8. Monday, February 9, 2015

    the problem with the grammys was there wasnt enough devil horns 

    devil horns at the grammysalso, youve got the most popular artist in the last 10 years dancing in the front row and you dont let her play?

    let Taylor Swift play!

    also, you have the most talented musician in the last 30 years sauntering around backstage, with a (great) new album, and you dont let him play?


    also why do the Grammys think that if you take the sexiness out of Beyonce, Katy Perry, Ariana Grande, and Rihanna you’re going to a) get ratings b) get people talking c) pretend that music is better when it’s serious.


    if i was Sam Smith I would have thanked Tom Petty and not allowed a better singer than me share my song live in front of everyone

    i thought madonna, kayne, and that country lady were good.

    there werent enough awards given out.

    and the awards that they did give out were super lame.

    God bless Beck but the guy running around with Beck’s name isn’t the Beck we signed up for in the 90s.

    this is Old Sad Man Beck Lightfoot who, sure can move some units at Whole Foods, but fuck that

    i also liked Usher with the harp lady.

    and Kristin Wig

    i miss dangerous music.

  9. Sunday, August 31, 2014

    who is your eazy 

    easy ewhen i was a kid i wanted to be a teacher.

    but i would be a bad teacher.

    i would say things like, wait Nobody but this kid read the chapter today? figures. i hear your music. if you call it that.

    robot squeaks and sound effects.

    push buttons and artificial dynamics.

    music evolved from chuck berry to hendrix to nirvana to this?

    who is your eazy e?


    who is your led zeppelin?

    no wonder you dont read things except on your phone.

    the reality is dismal.

    beep beep bop.

    once ac/dc was playing at irvine meadows which was the spot of an abandonded lion country safari.

    back in those days there was omg no internet so if you wanted tickets to a show you either had to go to a record store or department store that had the ticket machines

    or you called on the phone.

    so i called the morning of the show and said hey are there a lot of tickets available or should i go down to robinsons and get a ticket right away.

    and the lady said oh theres plenty, have no fear.

    queensryche was opening. operation mindcrime, g.

    figured id save some service fees by just driving down to the show and buying some grass tickets at the box office.

    when i got there they were sold out and there were lots of us who were under the impression that tickets would be available at the gate.

    so someone said, lets hike through lion country safari and hop the fence.

    and all of us said, thats the most perfect idea of all time.

    it was scary, dangerous, illegal, regretable

    and well worth it when you find yourself in the midst of a full blown acdc show

    and hells bells is ringing as you run from the cops.

    either do your homework or make music worth getting popped for.

  10. Saturday, March 8, 2014