nothing in here is true

  1. Sunday, June 14, 2015

    it’s impossible for me to believe MTV cannot thrive again 

    taylor swift shaking it off

    you cannot tell me that the kids dont love music any more

    or that the artists wouldnt love and be benefitted from being on tv dozens of times a day

    on a real channel, not any of this bs they call music tv nowadays.

    you need vjs, you need trl, you need unplugged. on one meaty channel.

    and how on earth is replaying the new version of Candid Camera all day worthy of MTV

    it clearly doesnt cost nothin but could it possibly be getting any ratings?

    wasnt the lazy excuse of removing videos from MTV the theory that in order to get better ratings you needed original programming at a certain hour so the kids

    would have to tune in at that hour.

    how are four-hour blocks of Ridiculousness and reruns of My Super Sweet 16 appointment viewing?

    and how is that any better for your brand and eyeballs than fresh new music videos from some of the biggest stars music has had in a long time:


    Taylor Swift

    One Direction

    Foo Fighters


    Katy Perry

    these people were MADE to be on your tv.

    how are there not a new Rolling Stones video leading into Miley and Ariana in unicorn pjs?

    does viacom hate success?

    seriously how hard would it be to have  something like

    Monday Open Mic

    where every ten minutes or so one of the biggest stars in music plays a song or two

    a parade of whoever feels like playing their hit.

    all it is is a green screen that they walk in front of and either trippiness gets projected on it

    or kittens playing with yarn.

    because it’s a green screen these artists can be any where. so even though it’s live

    it’s actually being shot all around the world.

    and delivered to your tv.

    your mtv

    for three hours every monday night

    and i bet you people will watch that shit.

    we live in a Selfie World

    music videos were tv’s first selfies

    theres no better time to bring them back.

  2. Tuesday, November 4, 2014
  3. Wednesday, April 30, 2014
  4. Tuesday, October 8, 2013
  5. Tuesday, September 10, 2013
  6. Tuesday, September 3, 2013
  7. Thursday, August 22, 2013

    who will beat Corey Feldman for weirdest video of the summer? 

    about a month ago this gem of a video, “Ascension Millennium” dropped and somehow i was under a rock

    i didnt notice it until today when people were making fun

    of Feldman’s personally-approved Vice Magazine feature on his cringeworthy birthday party

    at the root of both problems is the fact that corey has too much money

    and he desperately wants to be both michael jackson and hugh hefner.

    i know i know we all do, but not really.

    if we have learned one thing from the Playboy Advisor section it’s: theres only one Hef.

    as for being the King of Pop, of all the imitators, only Usher has been able to pull it off

    and he only accomplished that feat because he never went Full-MJ.

    what i’m saying, i suppose, is even though i want to ridicule the former Lost Boy for being so lost

    truth is he made the weirdest trainwreck of a single-shot video for an original song all summer

    and i eagerly look forward to its challenger(s).

  8. Wednesday, August 21, 2013

    good girl avril lavigne 

    good girl avril lavigne

    canadas favorite skatergirl sure seems like shes got another hit on her hands.

    the LOL video for “rock and roll” dropped yesterday and it already has over 2 million views

    and it should, it’s funny, and catchy and makes fun of fun things to make fun of: including avril.

    its so good that even in the subreddit /r/Cringe, most in the cynical group omg enjoyed what they saw and heard.

    “I would still sniff her butt,” admitted haddis, with a comment that got the most upvotes.

    “Winnie from the wonder years is there. That’s all I care about,” stated a defiant BeachGirl87.

    “I like it. Sorry to make reddit less homogeneous,” apologized vinsneezel.

    “I like it too, so it looks like we are heterogeneous together,” CapnBadass wrote, adding, “notsureifthatsaword.”

    “I actually f-ing found myself bopping my head to this,” evaninarkham remorsed. “F my life.”

    so other than making sure that we dont accept rides from drunk dogs, what else have we learned?

    dat Sony phone is waterproof? hmmmmm.

  9. Monday, August 19, 2013
  10. Tuesday, June 18, 2013

    Die Antwoord new video “Cookie Thumper” 

    i cant believe people thought this was a fake band not too long ago
    and by people i mean professional rock and roll journalists
    not only are they real but theyre really good.
    this video should make MTV more ashamed than normal for not showing videos any more
    not that they would show this video even in the bad old days
    but this is the type of video that would have gotten then all the cred they shoulda been getting
    instead they get cred for showing duran duran and mj vids
    and the cars and ah ha and madona ext ect ext

    is there one person out there with any courage doing cool stuff at a high level?

    thought it was gonna be obama but: no

    thought it was gonna be yr momma but: no

    looks like onlyest ones doing it are DA and VICE

    maybe kayne a lil bit, but fool is still waiting for his croisants

    anyone who can get distracted as easily as he can about massages and a stained rug

    can get got

    kwest out