nothing in here is true

  1. Thursday, September 11, 2014

    smells like teen spirit turned 23 years old yesterday 

    teen spirit

    which is pretty much the age that i was when i first heard it.

    i was not blown away by it even though i played it on the college radio station

    three days before it officially came out.

    i was all, well it’s ok, but i really cant wait for the new Soundgarden.

    lesson: im old. and i was old even then.

  2. Saturday, November 9, 2013

    today is aj’s birthday, shes 24 

    me and aj

    aj and i met in college a long long long long long time ago at the world famous daily nexus college newspaper

    it was so long ago that she had pink hair and i had hair.

    she looked like a pretty princess and had the most amazing voice and loved hard rock, metal and this new thing called grunge

    i wore suits all the time, so she naturally fell in love with me & because she was so smart and fun, i did the same

    so she wrote for me in the arts section of the paper and together we cohosted a rock show on KCSB called

    The Speed of Sound, which of course was amazing, mostly because she reigned me in and kept us focused

    me and aj

    we stayed friends after college and of all the memorable things we did together, the most bittersweet was

    we were together when we heard on the car radio that a dead body was found in kurt cobains house

    so we turned off the radio and kept driving pretending that we didnt hear what we probably heard.

    of all the people i knew in college she was pretty much the best person i could have been with at that moment

    because we had played hours and hours of music together on the radio that was either Nirvana-esque or Nirvana

    before during and after they hit it big.


    today AJ is living the good life in Napa California doing it exactly right: she has her own company

    where she teaches people about sex, sexual health, and what it takes to have a better sex life

    apparently that is important to some people.

    for years she lived in NYC but California is so much better off that she has moved back here.

    happy birthday AJ! sorry about your boring job and life!

  3. Tuesday, October 22, 2013
  4. Sunday, April 28, 2013

    today is Kim Gordon’s birthday, she’s 60 

    tumblr_lywcpjmwbq1qffv5do1_500after my face melted in a hallucinatory bad trip in the bathroom mirror of a del playa apartment when i was 22 i was never afraid to talk with anyone ever again

    because i realized that everything is perspective and context: we all fool ourselves into believing that this is beautiful, that is ugly, she is hot, he is scary, that is dangerous, this is perfect

    but after someone accidentally puts one drop of a liquid chemical into your Natty Ice, what was ugly turns beautiful and whats hot is not.

    after that i never got nervous to approach a “pretty” girl, interview a powerful leader, or stare down a tweaked out gangster

    until i met kim gordon in santa barbara.

    even in 1990, a year before “punk broke”, backstage of ucsb’s Campbell Hall, it was frightingly obvious

    that Grunge had grown up from the midwestern Twin Tone yawp of The Replacements Husker Dü, and Soul Asylum.

    and sprouted horns and filled out to the global beast that would be Nirvana.

    and it wouldn’t have happened if not for Sonic Youth, whose 1990 Geffen debut “Goo” showed the record industry that

    the Bon Jovi 80s were over and rock n roll was back to save yr soul in a way that would make your parents not just tell you to turn that shit down but maybe we should have a family discussion because we’re really worried about you.

    and at the heart of Sonic Youth was Kim Gordon and she was scary as fuck because who else would dare go after LL Cool J who had just released Mama Said Knock You Out

    Kim Gordon“Are you going to liberate us girls from male, white, corporate oppression?” she taunts with the aid of Chuck D playing the role of Flava

    “Let every body know.” he demands.

    But it’s Kim’s “C’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon” that summons the dual guitar squeals from Thurston Moore and Lee Rinaldo that sounds more of a woman who knows what she wants as opposed to the cheerleader you would have seen (and not heard) a few years before in a Warrant video.

    Even though it was painfully obvious that Kool Thing was a street corner diss of Cool James

    (LL released “Walking With A Panther” in ’89 which featured hits like “Goin Back to Cali” – from which “Kool Thing” appropriates the line “I don’t think so”. Panther also featured singles “I’m The Type of Guy”, “Big Ole Butt” and “Jinglin’ Baby” that did fine in hip hop circles and the pop charts, but whose misogyny was hard to support among the Riot Grrrls)

    while chatting with Rinaldi and drummer Steve Shelley I asked, “so is Kool Thing about LL?”

    Shelley said, “that’s Kim’s song, ask her.”

    And I couldn’t even look in her direction, let alone approach her, so I just sipped from my can of Coke and changed the subject.

    She was the edge in a band whose tone was so gnarled that if barbed wire had a theme song it’d have been Sonic Youth.

    They say most scenarios benefit from the woman’s touch. Kim was the woman’s punch.

    Without whom neither Nirvana nor Hole would have spanked thru as quickly and painlessly as they did.

    Which is why I heartily celebrate Kim’s 60th today

    from a safe distance.

    meanwhile if you haven’t seen the doc of the Sonic Youth tour where they brought along Nirvana and Dinosaur Jr., and Babes in Toyland, and Gumball, and The Ramones

    well maybe on Kim Gordon’s 60th birthday maybe it’d be kool thing to do

  5. Thursday, March 21, 2013

    i need to learn how to make rice properly 

    grohl lisa

    love rice.

    i dont care if it makes me fat.

    one day im gonna be flying up to heaven and sitting next to me will be some dude from another galaxy and he’ll say oh so where are you from

    and i’ll say Earth

    and he’ll be all, omg the planet that had rice!?

    and i’ll go, yep.

    and he’ll be all so how do you make it?

    and right now i’ll say i go to Zankou and pay FIVE DOLLARS for a large box to go.

    when i make myself healthy dishes i open a can of peas, put it in a paper bowl and nuke it on high for two minutes.

    then i nuke the zankou rice for one minute and combine bowls.

    ive been pretty healthy this last month cuz its cheaper.

    my favorite taco joint sells chicken. bbq’ed but not “barbecued”

    they dont put bbq sauce on it.

    they’re from mexico.

    sometimes they give me extra rice and i tip them a dollar.

    the other day a pretty girl who hadnt said she loved me in maybe a year, accidentally said it and i laughed to myself inside.

    and popped open a coke, which isn’t healthy, but on that flight up to heaven you gotta be ready

    if Earth is the only place that has pop.

  6. Thursday, February 21, 2013
  7. Wednesday, February 20, 2013
  8. today kurdt kobain woulda been 46 years olde 

    I’m not like them
    But I can pretend
    The sun is gone
    And I have a light
    The day is done
    And I’m having fun
    I think I’m dumb
    Maybe just happy
    Think I’m just happy
    Think I’m just happy
    Think I’m just happy

    My heart is broke
    And I have some glue
    Help me inhale
    Mend it with you
    We’ll float around
    Hang out on clouds
    Then we’ll come down
    And have a hangover
    Have a hangover
    Have a hangover
    Have a hangover

    Skin the sun
    Fall asleep
    Wish away
    Soul is cheap
    Lesson learned
    Wish me luck
    Soothe the burn
    Wake me up

  9. Monday, January 21, 2013

    nothing else matters 

    i havent seen zero dark thirty yet. maybe i’ll catch it today.

    i just hate knowing how movies end.

    whats wooing me besides k bigelow is in the commercial you hear a version of

    metallicas “nothing else matters” that sounds like its sung by a choir

    metallicas black album, from which the original comes, is a miracle.

    launched at the dawn of grunge, it was the exception to the lie that

    nirvana killed metal.

    “enter sandman”, the first single from Metallica’s unnamed 1991 album (thus some call it “album” and some call it “the black album”) came out a mere eight weeks before “smells like teen spirit”

    so if nirvana killed metal, please explain how the black album ended up selling 22 million copies.

    “nothing else matters” was the third single off the album. it came out 4/20/92, almost 9 months after the album had dropped.

    the album was so deep they’d release six singles in total.

    today boing boing is featuring another 90s hit, REM’s “losing my religion”.

    they’re showing a video of that single where they screw with things so that it’s no longer in a minor key, its in a major one.

    the weirdo who did it, first tried it a year ago on “nothing else matters”.

    it works on both songs in a creepy way.

    please enjoy.

  10. Friday, January 4, 2013

    is this year gonna be like just all the others 

    566599_10151327703158057_1324858236_ofun fun fun like rebecca black

    or black black black like fun?

    screwed up and took a nap

    and now im refreshed

    and ready to take on the day

    it was warm during lunch as we walked in the pasadena sun

    to the whole foods

    listening to this old punk rock i shoulda listened to 20 years ago

    i realize what a fool ive been

    what a fool i am

    i know what to do, thats the crazy thing. you do too.

    but why would we wanna do the normal thing.

    this year i want to delve into some entrepenuer mumbo jumbo.

    i wanna say things that normally i wouldnt say

    i wanna call plays in Madden i wouldnt

    i wanna stop going for it on 4th and long.

    i wanna read a book a month.

    i wanna get rid of 50% of my clothes

    and 75% of my shoes.

    by summer.

    maybe buy a hummer.

    i wanna return to mexico.

    i wanna burn my magazines.

    i wanna put all my old posters into storage.

    i wanna meet you at the carriage, horseless.