nothing in here is true

  1. Monday, May 26, 2014

    xbi was all we gotta get you out of LA for a day 


    i was like 1) i dont even work for you any more and 2) knock knock there was a knock on my door

    and your bff ali was at the door wearing daisy dukes holding a picnic basket saying

    we gotta get you out of LA for a day

    and before the sun set i was in a place i aint never been a’fore: mt. st. helens washington


    i mean little big horn, montana.

    i was all ali isn’t montana like way far away? i feel like we only drove for an hour an a half.

    she was like shhhh just go with it. why you always gotta be so literal.

    the long cross country drive made me thirsty so we went into the local establishment

    Pappy and Harriet’s Pioneer Town Palace.

    because of the holiday and our lack of plans the woman up front told us there would be a two hour wait for a table

    but if somehow we could find a barstool we could eat at the bar

    that sounded like a fun game so we went to the bar and

    wait a durn second

    is that

    could it be


    no not the rack of ribs just bbq’ing over the open fire

    smelling delicious and looking amazing



    no way




    are my eyes deceiving me?

    victoria williams who wrote such songs as This Moment, Love, Shoes, TC, You Are Loved, Big Fish, Lights, Crazy Mary

    played none of those as far as i heard, but it was still fantastic,

    heres a lil taste of the night, i believe this is Sweet Virginia from some brit poppers:

    did i mention it was free?




    afterwards we wanted to go fishing or play a bassoon but no  one was around to help


    but we did meet two flamboyant young gentlemen who loved us so much they bought us a couple of shots

    that was nice.

    as per mr ken laynes recommendation i ordered the catfish poboy and a side of mac n cheese

    young ali ordered the tacos

    we each had a mason jar of the Corvette Summer which sounded better than it tasted

    but whateves it did the job and before we knew it the jetpacks flew us over to palm springs where we woke up

    and ate at the ace hotel diner


    heres a few things you should know about me: i always try to stay as positive as possible


    i love taking pictures of people


    i hate having pictures taken of me


    and if green eggs and ham are on the menu im gonna order some damn green eggs and ham.

    happy memorial day america.

    tell your momma you love her.

  2. Saturday, May 13, 2006

    its 344am 

    me and lindsay im in palmsprings. theres a gorgeous young tanned girl in my kingsized bed. im tured im drunk. im super tired. i just hurled my dinner. she dint care. i have had both amazing good luck and bad luck while she was here and it seems like she didnt care either way. i dont understand it. seu jorge is playing.

    on friday night we met up with all the canadian and alabama and california bloggers who were at the formosa. it was super nice. im sick. i couldnt be as bubly as i wanted to. ive been sick for two months now. wtf. i hadnt been sick in years now its making up for lost time. im blowing my gnose constantly. im puking all the time. im probably pregnant. i had to check that the girl didnt have a penis again this morning.

    we drove to palm springs in record time. they had rented out a whole motel complex. a sweet one story building with individuall little suites all surrounding a pool and a hot tub. Silly pplayed. theyre coulter, welch, mcilvane, os, brendan and solomon. they were incredible. all covers. feel like making love, love removal machine, white wedding, etc etc etc. american girl. even though i was illin i stood the whole time in amazement. my friends are the best.

    when they were done one of heathers friends make a fake true hollywood story film about them. it was amazingly good.

    the wedding ceremony was great too. bill, heathers husband, has a 8-9 yr old son. he plays keyboards really well. he played here comes the bride and then started playing the imperial death march as heather walked down the aisle. the whole wedding was funny like that. heather cried during her vows. it was cute.

    after the movie i djed for a few hours while everyone twisted by the pool and the dancefloor. then i loaded up a mellow mix and soaked in the hottub for a good hour. now this hot babe is laying next to me and you cant really spoon a girl after youve hurled. even if youre a blogger. i brushed my teeth a bunch and now im sucking on a cough drop. when you see a guy with a hot girl it doesnt mean theyre doing what you think theyre doing. we talk about so many things. she would totally be my friend if she lived here. she lies and says she likes me back but people from the midwest are very sweet.

    in the minifridge there were some slices of cpk that the last people in here noshed on last night, i had a few bites of a bbq chicken slice. and took a few sips of a 7up. i know what its like to be a teenage girl now. its not hot. and this blog is down so this will be the first time i ever post to my blog and have no idea what it looks like. maybe this is how it is for stevie wonder. it was over 100 degrees here today.

    jeff whalen showed up in a fake moustache and wore it all night.