nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, September 15, 2020

    amber was telling me how there are two kinds of people 

    one kind who wants very much for people to love them

    the other kind does not give one shit what people think of them.

    she said she loves me because i dont care

    she said look at your clothes

    look how you keep this apartment so junky

    you walk outside with no shoes and no shirt and talk to anybody

    look at how you decorate. pictures of the most random people and old girlfriends

    everyone else instagrams fancy coffee and steak dinners.

    you take pictures at mcdonalds.

    and everybody loves you.

    why dont you care?

    i said watch college basketball players on the free throw line.

    college arenas are intensely loud and the fans behind the glass backboard have super funny signs

    and weird pictures and they’re doing bizarre things

    in hopes that the guy at the free throw line will lose his concentration.

    the ones who can ignore all the terrible things they’re shouting


    and maybe becomes a pro.

    to me going pro means going to heaven.

    i only want to please Jesus.

    and Jesus wants me to rock.