i have a brilliant idea that i know would work

puppetid make a bunch of money off it. id finally be able to buy a house.

i could help my mom retire.

it would actually help people, particularly young journalists.

and it might even help someone who was very generous to me a while back.

only problem is this: it would mean i would take me out of LA.

i freakin love LA.

LA is my Lady.

i like my two jobs. i like my friends. i like my crib. i like my car.

one of these days imma join a gym and i’ll like my bod.

i like that i can see the Cubs play every game on MLB.tv on my two giant tvs.

pretty girls still smile back at me, miraculously, when i smile at them.

why would i want to upset that apple cart?

why would i want to begin the beguine?

why would i want to ruin all the good things ive got going on?

those are the thoughts that go through my head when i hesitate even scribbling down the proposal.

on the other hand, i think, how long can this current good thing last?

uber is doing its best to replace me with cheaper help, even robots.

plus you and i both know im never gonna join that dumb gym.

and the world is gonna end soon, no doubt.

why not make a mark, a big mark, while you can.

especially if others will benefit in positive ways?

at work the video team did this interview with sarah silverman the other day.

she said sometimes the hardest part is just getting up and taking that first step

after that everything’s super easy.

let me find my other pizza sock and i’ll tell you how it goes.

a pretty girl got a ride to my house last night


bedside bed

she brought pizza because it was a saturday night

but not just pizza, an entire pizza for me

and one entire pizza for her.

i was all, skinny girl you aint gonna eat that whole  damn pie

and despite being fat as a cow i wasnt gonna eat no whole pieneither

because its california the pizzas were about 13 inches

and slightly lopsided with sauce painted on it like it was interior designed

dollops of cheese blops here

green leafy things that just casually drifted off a tree

and ended up there.

their ovens are 900 degrees and pizza becomes pizza in seconds.

its slightly unnatural.

the uber took her 30 minutes from the beach to east hollywood because it was late

and people were like me, already drunk at 5, and sorta passed out by 8 and awake again

but drowsy, and after a hot shower, you know what, an entire pizza

was entirely right.

last night i was at a swanky westside party talking about chuck e cheese

chuck e cheese

i told the hosts that earlier in the day i saw that the kiddie pizza parlor place was opening a new location near mccarthur park

and they were all have you seen the underground chuck e cheese band do that usher song

incredibly as in we must show you this very second

we watched it twice it was so good and so funny especially at a party where a moose head overlooked us from above.

i was like i really hope whoever was able to do that gets hit up one day by a chuck e cheese franchise owner

like the one in this new venue who might find it profitable to open it up on friday nights to non-kids

so they can drink beer, eat bad pizza and watch The Rock-afire Explosion.

after my nap today i did a little research and it looks like theres at least two programmers

who have no problem putting the robots to the paces of contemporary music like

Arcade Fire

Black Eyed Peas


and even Austin’s own Quiet Company(?!?!?):

imagine the possibilities