busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, November 6, 2018

    everyone won today, everyone lost 

    so much happened today i dont even know where to start.

    did the american people win? pretty much. those who wanted backwards racists and crooks on their way to jail voted for them, and that’s their right.

    those of us who wanted clear thinking leaders and visionaries reluctantly voted for diane feinstein

    all i know is auntie maxine is going to show donald trump the back of her hand in so many delicious ways and i know they wanna put diane back in as speaker i think they should give it to maxine because she has been the one saying early and often that she cannot wait to impeach this son of a gun, so let her.

    all while giving love to the first black female speaker of the house

    i spent a few hours today meeting my new doctor. i had to switch docs once i switched my health plan. so they gave me the whole physical and even stuck a thing up my, and i was all, when did this procedure begin and they said about a year ago.

    and i was like, well since we now know each other… she and the young doctor who was shadowing her marveled at how young i appeared and i pointed to the nearby burger king and i said, fast food 4x a week, mixed with loud music, and a sweet gf who’s down for whatever and you too will sustain this glow.

    how much do you exercise?

    never.

    never?

    never.

    how often are you in front of a computer?

    12 hours a day.

    do you wear glasses?

    no.

    can you read minds?

    since 1992.

    we shook hands and agreed to shave the mole from my head because it was probably an xbi transmitter

    a procedure that is scheduled for next week. so if i disappear, you know who to blame.

  2. Saturday, October 6, 2018

    is everything terrible? 

    just because some things are horrible, miserable, unfair and full of shit

    doesn’t mean you should give up or forget who you are

    or change how you do things.

    you are not the problem.

    you are the solution.

    well meaning pastor from trinidad and tobaggo was on twitter today saying that stormy daniels’ lawyer michael avenatti was to blame for judge kavanaugh making it into the supreme court

    as if any of the GOP senate was gonna vote against him anyway,
    as if anyone on that side was gonna do the right thing

    the GOP is not here to save you. or me. or us. unless our last name is Wells Fargo or Sacks or Kavanaugh.

    the good preacher said that Stormy’s lawyer was a showboat and that helped energize the republicans and you know what i said to that man

    i said i love showboats. LOVE. because some of my all time heroes were showboats.

    Moses took his staff and said im gonna part this Red Sea in front of you and Cecil B. DeMille and my fellow Jews are gonna stroll across it and at the last minute im gonna strike my staff and all the water is gonna drown those Egyptian slave masters. and he did and it was showboating and it was so nice they made that movie twice.

    later in that same book the Son of God had a huge crowd around him and one of his BFFs said Jesus we gotta feed this throng before you get to the giant speech. so Jesus turned a few fish and a couple of loaves of bread into enough food for everyone, and there was even left overs. the leftovers I would call showboating. of the most divine kind.

    other black showboaters include Rosa Parks who sat in the front of the bus during a time when that not only raised eyebrows, it raised fists and police batons and got everyone up in arms. and she showed those people her boat and she said, take a picture it’ll last longer.

    but maybe my favorite showboater was the dude from Tiananmen Square who had a stand off with a tank. he told that tank, let my people go! and the tank tried to get around him but Tank Man moved. then the tank tried to go the other way, but Tank Man moved that way. eventually Tank Man just climbed on top of that tank and had a chat with the dude driving the thing and they probably would have had a happy little conclusion but the authorities came and dragged him away… for showboating.

    Michael Avenatti aint doing anything the GOP loudmouths are doing: stating their beliefs on TV as often as people will allow them to speak. in this world where there are too many channels and not enough content, thank God for articulate crusaders like Avenatti to stir shit up for the Libs who are getting abused environmentally, financially, in the supreme court, by the FCC, by the EPA, and fuck, seemingly everywhere.

    thank god the Yankees suck and Tom Brady is losing his touch or else id have to start drinking again.

  3. Friday, September 28, 2018

    courage is not an easy thing for everyone 

    and just because someone either lacks backbone or always takes the easy way out doesn’t make them dishonorable or worthy of ridicule.

    not everyone is cut out to stand in front of the group,

    alone,

    and say, no, this is the way.

    that is true leadership, which has its roots in courage.

    neither are easy.

    but we saw it in spades with the good Doctor who testified so wonderfully yesterday.

    however

    we call Senators and Congresspeople political leaders because they have been chosen to assume that difficult role.

    they are paid, they are given security, they are granted universal healthcare and excellent pensions, because they have asked and received the daunting task of being the voice in the wilderness to say

    this is the way.

    which is why when we watch what is happening in the Senate today, particularly in this vote for the would-be next Supreme Court Justice, there seems to be a giant lack of courage.

    a pathetic evaporation of leadership,

    and worse, a blind refusal at representative governance.

    the people do not want this man on the bench, and yet the GOP Senators who could investigate the serious allegations against him do not have the gumption to stand apart from their partisan boys club and say

    this is the way.

    when this happens in the petty pace of day to day to the average man or woman, it can be forgiven, for a multitude of reasons.

    but when actual leaders, who swore to protect and defend the country, not the party, give in to peer pressure or political pressures or the fear of reprisal, financial or otherwise,

    it is disgusting and unforgivable.

    courage is not an easy thing for anyone. our brains are programmed to protect the body from danger.

    but there is no danger in doing what the heart knows is the right path.

    ever.

  4. Thursday, September 27, 2018

    Top 10 Lies Supreme Court Nominee Kavanaugh Told Today 

    1. He said it was legal for him to  drink when he was a senior in high school. False

    2. and 3.  He lied about the slang term “boof” and the “Devils Triangle” saying the former was about barfing and the latter was a version of Quarters, in truth they are about anal sex and threesomes.

    4. He originally swore he never drank in the summers on weekdays, but his trusty calendar ratted him out and had to admit to Cory Booker that he did, indeed drink on a weekday at Timmy’s, as his trusty calendar proved.

    5. In a lie that only made him look like an asshole he told Kamala Harris that he didn’t watch Dr. Ford’s testimony. An aide says he was watching (which is probably why he came out with guns blazing).

    6. When Sen. Harris asked him about polygraphs he said they’re unreliable. Not consistent to what he once said when he wasn’t one false move away from a lie detector.

    7. According to his Yale classmate, he also lied about his drinking in college. Namely that he often drank to excess (more than The Card would have recommended).

    8. He told Sen Blumenthal that the yearbook phrase Renate Alumnus was simply a G-rated friend thing and had nothing to do with sex, but his friend’s poem about her alluded what everyone knew, that they were calling her a slut: “You need a date / and it’s getting late / so don’t hesitate / to call Renate”. But the woman herself said that she did not take it as a compliment.

    9. He said three witnesses have refuted Christine Blasey, not true. They just said they don’t remember.

    10. He said he openly welcomed an FBI investigation, yep, lie.

    The Daily Show had the funniest summary of the crazy exchanges

     

  5. Saturday, September 22, 2018

    michael moore’s fahrenheit 11/9 

    we forget about our ideals

    we forget about the things that are important to us.

    we let them deflect away from the concept by demonizing the politician

    even though we all agree that all the politicians are lacking.

    all of them.

    ive loved every single one of my girlfriends so much, so deeply, so intensely, but ive lacked with each one, ive said stupid shit, ive not done certain things that would have made things easier and better and less smelly

    and these are people who are getting naked in front of me

    so of course politicians, strangers really, who cannot continue, they claim, without selling out a little to this one or that one — of course politicians are occasionally going to let us down in a big way.

    this movie reminds us that we have to refocus back to the basic things that we want: a healthcare system that doesn’t bankrupt people, an electoral system where when you vote it matters, gun regulations that are written by people not lobbyists

    but mostly this movie drives home the fact that this country believes in liberal values

    big time

    and the current day GOP has done nothing to change those values

    meanwhile the democratic party has no one to blame except themselves for being such wimpy ass moderates

    and not listening to their supporters who dont wanna be moderate about everything.

    teachers shouldnt have to go on food stamps.

    kids shouldnt have to worry about getting shot while in school.

    the people of flint shouldnt have to worry that their drinking water is going to affect their freaking DNA for generations to come.

    there should be no middle ground there.

    for example, zero kids should be killed in school. if you want to call me a radical for not wanting to budge on that number, then fuck yeah, im a radical.

    and fuck yeah am i happy that michael moore keeps doing what he does,

    we clearly need him.

  6. Tuesday, November 14, 2017

    thank you Rise, wherever you are 

    when i was in high school i took an Iowan college up on an offer to visit their school.

    a bus drove around suburban Illinois picking up kids like us who had signed up to spend the night in Cornell College. on the bus i saw two beautiful young ladies, Rise (pictured, left) and her best friend Tracy (not pictured). i enjoyed the college but i knew i was probably going to come to LA for my studies.

    so before we got on the bus for the long ride back to Illinois i made sure that i sat near the two pretty girls, and i succeeded. not only that but we all hit it off. Tracy and Rise didn’t go to Cornell either, they chose, instead a school in Wisconsin. Since these were the days before the internet (!), we wrote letters back and forth and occasionally i called Tracy because i had, what the kids called, the hot for her, which i no disrespect to Rise who had the bluest eyes ive ever seen.

    one day Rise told me she was going to spend a semester in Switzerland and i should visit her. i laughed it off because i was 20. who goes to Europe when they’re 20 simply because they were invited? i was selling TVs in west LA and i was doing pretty well at it. one thing led to another and i found myself not going to UCSB right away. i had 4 months to think about the bad job i had done at Santa Monica College.

    so i wrote Rise and said, see you at the Swiss Army Knife Store! and i went to Europe for the first time and it changed my life. one thing i learned was travel is relatively inexpensive. another thing was that people around the world understand American politics better than most Americans. “Foreigners” are able to see past the racism that is intertwined within US politics and question it. miraculously. it made me feel guilty that i wasn’t as educated in politics as much as i should be.

    from that trip i started subscribing to newspapers because all the smart people i met read at least one paper and often three. subsequently, each time i have visited europe i found that my first trip wasn’t unusual: europeans not only know US politics inside and out, but they also know their own, brilliantly. they also know several languages, how to drink, and how dangerous guns are in society.

    looking back at this, now 30 years later, i feel so blessed that i went on that bus to a college i knew i was never going to attend, and had the courage to chat up the two hottest babes on that bus, and was in the position to be able to visit Rise (and her super cool friend Ae) in Switzerland, a trip that led me to visit several other countries on that journey… because it deeply shaped me as an adult. and i am so grateful. sooooo grateful.

  7. Wednesday, June 7, 2017

    dear electoral college, 

    i hope you know your days are numbered

    in the last little while we have seen electric cars appear

    we have seen marijuana become legalized

    the Internet has made its way to be part of our every day life

    we have seen the death of video stores

    we’ve even had the first black president.

    but you’re still around.

    the problem with you is when someone loses the popular vote but becomes president, women like this one sorta have a point when they tell the world “most of us voted against this idiot”

    thats not something that any one wants. and it must totally suck to run a country that you know didn’t vote for you. you’re already starting behind the 8-ball and thats a tough place to begin with such an important job as Leader of the Free World. and it might be a reason why Trump is so fascinatingly defensive about every little thing.

    anyways youre gonna die soon, electoral college, and thats good

    not everything should live forever.

    especially if it’s flawed to begin with.

    counting the days…

  8. Monday, May 15, 2017

    imagine we had a black president who was in love omg with iran 

    and that black president was caught on tape saying the word pussy

    and that black president was all, of course i will show you my taxes, but then didnt

    and he was sooooo black

    and on mothers day he didnt go say hey to his wife up in new york

    instead he played basketball in florida.

    and then one day he invited some bros from iran over

    and he kicked out all the american news people from the room

    and only allowed muslim journalists in.

    and then he told a bunch of secrets to the iranians

    and bowed to them on their way out.

    fox news would want him dead for way more than the bow.

  9. Sunday, May 7, 2017
  10. Wednesday, March 22, 2017

    the nice thing about the GOP totally melting down 

    is this is what happens when you put all of your eggs into

    old white dude billionaires

    lack of experience

    fucking liars

    asswipes

    greedy whining dipshits

    and people who lie about omg loving the bible so much

    who btw hate the troops, the elderly, the sick, the poor, minorities, women, the handicapable, and people on healthcare

    the side effects are they are sexist racist homophobes who have massive ties to our enemies and lie about it constantly

    poorly.

    the nice thing about it is tv ratings for news channels are up, newspaper subscriptions are coming back, and

    young people everywhere are seeing first hand that the GOP doesn’t give one fig about anyone other than the very rich, white, anglo saxons

    who enjoy staying that way.

    how so many of Congress can sign up for a healthcare bill that would drop over 20 million americans from being covered is shocking to me

    especially those who consider themselves Christian.

    what is Christian about telling a couple that if they want a baby, they need to pay the hospital $45,000?

    what is Christian about taking away Meals on Wheels?

    what is Christian about doing all of this simply because you have some bizarre political grudge against the previous president who heroically took this nation from the precipice of disaster and saved the auto industry, brought recovery to the economy, and gave millions of people the hope that he promised?

    the best part of all of this is young people are seeing exactly the worst side of a party who never had the average american in its thoughts and prayers.