nothing in here is true

  1. Friday, November 18, 2016

    do i care that Trump is hiring racists 


    and anti semites and homophobes and liars and haters and nogoodnicks

    and an attorney general who hates weed

    and has a VP who thinks you can electrocute the gay outta people

    and kids who think they belong in meetings with japanese political leaders

    and omg the head of breitbart “news”?

    no. i dont care.

    the bible says, clearly, and repeatedly,

    “doth not give two shits about thou earth. only care about Paradise.”

    because the Lord saw the future, and it involved a selfie stick, a whole bunch of people who look like they were at the same family reunion, all pretending that theyre representing the most diverse country in the world

    while pretending global warming doesnt exist

    while pretending that weed kills

    while pretending that their odd ways of no taxes and heavy spending on the military

    wont sink this economy  like it did with bush, bush, and reagan.

    let the meek inherit the earth, homeboy.

    who are the meek?

    youre looking at em.

  2. Thursday, November 17, 2016
  3. Friday, November 11, 2016

    this video taught me what the electoral college is about and why it was made 

    but i still dont buy the negatives

    why should the less populous states have more of a powerful voice than the more populous ones

    these states were created quite awhile ago.

    so long ago that the current parties dont look anything like what they did back then.

    neither do the states nor the people in the states.

    one person, one vote would get more people into the polls

    because right now, my vote in california doesnt matter

    it would mean so much more in arizona or ohio or michigan

    and thats fucked up and no way to figure out who should be president.

    the first black attorney general agrees with me



  4. Monday, July 25, 2016
  5. Thursday, June 23, 2016

    shout out to the inventors of periscope 

    periscope founderswhen kayvon beykpour and joe bernstein invented periscope, the simple way to record and stream video through a mobile device,

    they probably never thought that their little app would find its way in the Well of the House of Representatives so lawmakers could document their peaceful protest after that brave Republican Paul Ryan shut down the C-SPAN cameras

    because he’s such a great leader

    and should probably be president of the united states.

    a few years ago periscope was acquired by Twitter which was a match made in digital Heaven because periscope piggybacks perfectly on twitter, alerting all of your twitter followers that you are broadcasting

    which is what happened yesterday when a few of the Congresspeople realized that they could bypass the Speaker Ryan bravery by simply broadcasting themselves

    from their phones.

    i dont know why kayvon beykpour and joe bernstein arent doing a victory lap around tv shows right now

    their invention helped make the #holdthefloor protest something that people around the world could see

    even the courageous Paul Ryan who probably watched it on CSPAN

    (who, once their cameras were shut off by the GOP, linked up to the periscope feed and broadcasted that).

    bros deserve some props today.

    the busblog salutes them.

  6. Wednesday, June 8, 2016

    fascinating watching the GOP lose their minds right now 

    im with racist donald trumpthey pretend theyre the party of lincoln but we all know thats a lie.

    theyre the party of the one percent.

    they dont want to tax those who could actually pay tax

    they want to blow up whoever disagrees with them

    and right now they wanna blow up their own nominee.

    why? because he is too much like them.

    he is the Uber GOP: he has no real ideas, he has no love for what is truly lovable about this country, and the only reason he is where he is is because of the banks.

    just like them.

    but unlike them he says what is in his head. unlike him he can’t hide his racism and ignorance and spite.

    and why should he? letting his id run the show has made him richer than he could have ever dreamed of being, and famous, and gotten him yuuuuuge ratings on tv.

    if it aint broke!

    but the GOP leaders are clearly used to holding the strings over their boys and girls. how do we know this? because they’re freaking out that they cant tell trump what to do and say. they yearn for Mitt even though Mitt lost and Mitt proved that Obamacare worked. doesnt matter, he would jump when they told him to.

    trump aint jumping for anyone except for that drunk Bart Simpson in his head who says cowabunga every time he sees a pretty girl or a Muslim.

    they say politics is about power. but the GOP are showing it’s also about control. sadly control is an illusion and the party who brought the world w, mcain, palin, mitt, lying ted, little marco, that lady from hp, herman cain, paul ryan, and smart glasses rick perry probably wishes that their whole job right now was to go back to trying to scare the masses about terrorism, abortion huts, and death panels

    because theyre about to lose the white house, and probs both houses of congress.

    this is the party that has owned talk radio, owns all the biggest corporations, went to the best schools, know all the right people, but has never had an agenda that benefitted the middle class. so they will lose (again) and their biggest nightmare is about to come true

    hillary clinton is going to appoint four supreme court justices.

    and the world will not implode

    and america will say why did people ever vote republican?

    and someone will say, same reason people used to use Internet Explorer:

    it came with the system

  7. Saturday, June 4, 2016

    after i finish the bible this time through i may put it down 

    whatas you know i read the bible every sunday for an hour

    it’s a deal i cut with the Lord that instead of going to church every sunday, i would read the bible for that hour, especially since that was always my favorite part of church

    i became upset that they didnt spend more time on the gospel and instead wasted all this time with the ritual and ceremony and handshaking and money giving

    and singing badly and the kneeling and the getting up and the sitting down

    here you have a dude who is so into religion that he has given away all of his money, agreed not to have any sex or family

    and the one big facetime he has with the public, 90 percent of it is scripted and a repeat of the week before.

    i say let him talk. and i say let him talk about what it is in that bible that changed his life. and if he has seriously thrown away all of the earthly obstacles, then what he will say will be clear and honest and

    maybe even a little inspiring.

    but theres none of that. and if it is theres a motive. there should only be one motive: truth

    so i read the bible every sunday, pretty much without fail, for like 15-20 years now.

    hard to keep track, cuz really, whos counting.

    anyways it isnt the joy it used to be. i know whats gonna happen. im not into it.chicago trib

    you should be into something if youre trying to do it for holy reasons.

    so i decided i will spend that time reading regular books.

    i have a house full of incredible regular books, the kind i used to read in college

    in isla vista, the most distracting place in the world.

    how does anyone study there?

    i used to think that i would give the college of creative studies a million if i ever won the lottery,

    but even with a brand new building

    yes in my world it only cost a million dollars to build

    a sweetass building

    but now im thinking i will just give it to robyn directly because

    how do kids pay attention to anything in that world

    how did i? and i read so much.

    answer: there was no internet.

    last night matt welch was in town because he was one of the guests in bill mahers hbo show, real time

    i texted him and said if theres an afterparty let a brotha know

    afterparty was in the courtyard of the boutique beverly hills hotel where everyone speaks french

    fortunately for all of us i dabble in the francais

    so i was all, matt welch, voila? and i pointed

    they were all, oui!

    and i was like merci baby

    the bible is about heartbreak and mistrust.

    its about anger and confusion and

    Screen Shot 2016-06-04 at 12.34.40 PMmost of all,


    for no good reason other than knuckleheadness.

    after a while it gets depressing.

    i took a lyft over to le hotel so i could drink

    and it turned out hbo was paying for the drinks

    so me basart and welch sat around and they asked me who i was gonna be voting for on tuesday

    and i said willie wilson

    and matt spit out his champaign and said

    the speedy kc royal who swiped 668 stolen bases over his 19 year career?

    and i said, yes and no

    and i told them that i saw dr. wilson’s name on my sample ballot and i went to his website

    and then his facebook page

    and now im gonna vote for him.

    and we toasted to our new friend

    dr willie wilson from chicago

    who never stole shit.


  8. Friday, May 6, 2016

    the republicans tried to let a retard be president and we got 9/11 

    trumpand theres part of me that thinks trump is a lucky retard in the same way some people get lucky when they play video games

    sometimes if you just smash all the buttons when youre playing a shoot em up game, sometimes you win that level.

    im sure trump knows a thing or two about how to get off the hook from being bankrupt

    but maybe all he knows is who the right bankers are to ask for forgiveness.

    plus didnt he make his money off new york real estate? and didnt he get in when ny real estate was really low and didnt he pretty much just ride the wave as it got really high?

    is that smart or is that luck? right place right time?

    sometimes i wonder about his confidence. is it confidence or is it the power of positive thinking? the hispanics dont love him and FOR SURE the best taco bowls are not made in Trump Tower Grill.

    we know the first isnt true because Trump pinatas are selling at an all-time high.

    but now the next time im at Trump Tower Grill imma have to try a taco bowl because im a damn scientist and i want to see really how good they are.

    even though they are basically a taco with a wall around them.

    they dont look healthy. they look hella fattening and like the lady on instagram writes all the time “you didnt eat that.”

    i mean look at that mess. he barely has touched it.

    because i like a nice revenge story, i am thrilled that Trump is the GOP nominee and not even the so-called GOP “leaders” want to support him. he’s hurt their widdle feelings. he beat all of their best men and women. but seriously who couldnt beat lying ted, little marco, crazy ben carson, low energy Jeb, and the rest of the morons in that clown car of dont tax the rich and dont let women have control over their own bodies?

    so i am happy that Hillary will be able to do the actual worst thing the GOP could imagine: regaining the White House and filling DC with women, minorities, transgenders, leftists, socialists and true liberals.

    sure shes probably gonna get us into a war or two that we shouldnt be in because she will think that she has to prove that the first female president isnt a pushover, but

    maybe, just maybe, she wont take the bait. maybe she will say, human life is more important than politics.

    and maybe she will be more concerned with stacking the supreme court with the most pinko libs archie bunker could have ever imagined.

    and thus her revenge will last for decades.

    taco bowls in every driveway, amigos.

  9. Wednesday, February 3, 2016

    anti handwashing republican with alleged KKK ties part of GOP blockage 

    thom and grassley

    Sen. Thom Tillis, (R-NC) – seen here with the blue tie with Sen. Charles Grassley, (R-Iowa) –  is one of the GOP lawmakers who have seemingly agreed to stop any Obama nominated judge from being confirmed until the president is out of office.

    A year ago today Tillis, who was then a Freshman senator, was exposed as someone who thought it might be a good idea to let restaurants “opt out” of the requirement that its employees wash their hands after using the restroom.

    “I don’t have any problem with Starbucks if they choose to opt out of this policy as long as the post a sign that says ‘We don’t require our employees to wash their hands after leaving the restrooms.’ The market will take care of that,” Tillis said. There’s even video of him saying it clearly on C-SPAN.

    “That’s probably one where every business that did that would go out of business,” he added. “But I think it’s good to illustrate the point that that’s the sort of mentality that we need to have to reduce the regulatory burden on this country.”

    handwashingThat’s correct, the senator thinks that the law requiring one to washing ones hands after taking a dump is a burden.

    Just a few months ago the hacktivist group Anonymous claimed the Republican from Huntersville is involved with the KKK. Tillis was among a list of political figures that the group claimed had ties with the hate group.

    While the allegation has yet to be proven, Tillis is in favor of strict North Carolina voter ID laws that have been proven to keep minorities from voting. Tillis argues that such voting laws curb “widespread” voting fraud, but the enemy of many Republicans, science, has shown that of 1 billion votes cast since 2000 just 31 cases have been proven to be fraudulent.

    Regardless, Tillis is one of the GOP lawmakers who voted against the confirmation of Wilhelmina Wright, an African-American judge who was successfully confirmed as an Associate Justice of the Minnesota Supreme Court; which many in the GOP says will be one of the last of the Obama-appointed judges to be confirmed this year.

    “There is a point at which, traditionally, no additional judicial nominees are considered until the election,” Senate Majority Whip John Cornyn (R-TX), said referring to the election in November.

    In 2015, the Republican-controlled Senate confirmed a mere 173 total civilian nominees, according to the Congressional Research Service, about 100 fewer than were confirmed in 2007 when a Democratic Senate took over during the last two years of George W. Bush’s presidency.

  10. Sunday, January 24, 2016

    why donald trump will lose by one vote from being president 

    donald trump

    we all have self esteem issues.

    which is great otherwise we’d all be insufferable assholes.

    the fact that donald trump truly believes that he will build a wall

    a great wall

    and have mexico pay for it is rooted in the same belief he has

    that he would make a great president of the united states

    even though he would be a disaster

    and probably gang-stabbed by the masses like caesar before his first term was over.

    he is winning in the polls because he is winning in our hearts.

    he is the voice that we wish we had when we are hit with tough obstacles

    “my haters love me. my opponents are losers. my whole life’s on fleek.”

    “i can’t be bought.”

    only that last thing matters.

    because money (and not great ideas) makes the world go round,

    everyone else in the race has to pretend that corporations and evildoers are


    lining their pockets with literally millions and millions of dollars.

    we always knew that was fucked up but we resigned ourselves to the concept

    that money is speech and there was nothing else we can do to stop it.

    theres always a way.

    and the new way is hire a billionaire.

    but unlike most billionaires, donald trump has a way with words.

    he’s also believable, entertaining, and weirdly the guy next door.

    we’ve definitely sat next to a loud mouth like him at a ball game.

    his only problem is he has no experience in this realm, he takes bad advice,

    and many fear he is a little too trigger happy in regards to nuking countries who also have nukes.

    what donald trump is doing, though, is pushing the envelope so wide that someone

    who once would have seemed super radical

    next to trump, seems palatable.

    that super radical is def not secretary clinton

    but it’s bernie sanders,

    the sort of crazy this country just might need right now.

    if you dont think america is nuts you arent paying attention

    voted for bush twice, then obama twice

    and its allowing there to be a discussion about the DH in the NL.

    if you drug tested this nation its piss would be dirtier than tap water from flint michigan.

    the only thing american like better to do than watch football, buy guns and drink bud light

    is voting for the most extreme person running for president

    we want the world and we want it now

    larry david is going to have the best

    four years ever