nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, September 1, 2015

    three thoughts from bill murray 

    Bill Murray

    about a year ago the chicago-born comedian was on the howard stern show and they had a really great conversation. here are three interesting little chunks from that chat.

    on being single

    “Well… I do think about that. I do think about that. I’m not sure when I’m getting done here. I have kids—I have children that I’m responsible for—and I enjoy that very much, and that wouldn’t have happened without women. I don’t think I’m lonely. It would be nice to go to some of these things and have a date, have someone to bring along. And to go play golf in Scotland, that would be fun. But there’s a lot that I’m not doing that I need to do—something like working on yourself, self-development, and becoming more connected to myself. I don’t have a problem connecting with people, my problem is connecting with myself. And if I’m not really committing myself really well to that, it’s sort of better that I don’t have another person. I can’t take on another relationship if I’m not taking care of the things I need to take care of the most. What stops us from looking at ourselves is that we’re kind of ugly if we look really hard; we’re not who we think we are, and we’re not as wonderful as we think we are.”

    on what’s great about california

    “In-N-Out Burger is a great hamburger. I remember being in Las Vegas once and for some reason the ride that they give you is a 91-foot limousine, and I said to the [driver], ‘In-N-Out Burger?’ He could barely get this thing through the drive-thru, and while he was in the parking lot trying to get this thing in, I just hopped out and went in. And I tipped him in In-N-Out coupons. It’s a great burger. They do a great job with it. The French fries are made out of real potatoes, the burger is great and you can get it all kinds of ways, and it tastes good. It’s definitely the best franchise burger by a million miles. There’s no comparison. I mean, it’s not even close.”

    on famous whiners

    “I do not like people that complain about being famous, but I say to people, ‘Hey, you want to be rich and famous? Try being rich, and see if that doesn’t cover most of it for you.’ You have a bunch of dough, you can be as kind as you want, and you can be invisible. No one has to know you have a bunch of dough, and you can behave any way you want. You can be a secret kind of person.”

    heres the whole deal:

  2. Thursday, March 5, 2015

    WLS in Chicago is dropping Rush Limbaugh 

    rush limbaugh

    Some things, especially evil things, you’d think would last forever. But alas, life constantly surprises.

    News is coming out that WLS-AM, one of the biggest radio stations in the nation, is ending it’s deal with one Rush Limbaugh, biggest blowhard on the air.

    It’s clear he hates women, minorities, and the poor, and ironically, he is one of the reasons that WLS (which originally stood for World’s Largest Store: Sears) has lost $4 million over the last year in sales. Apparently advertisers aren’t as giddy about being associated with the likes of Limbaugh as they once were. Boycotts are nasty things.

    But life isn’t.

    Hang in there, nice people. Evil doesn’t always prevail.

  3. Thursday, February 13, 2014

    if uber wanted to make a commercial they shoulda filmed tonight 

    not a pipe

    after eating sushi with jeanine in playa i drove down to venice to see if i could find someone looking to go back to hollywood. one of the beauties of having uber and living in hollywood is people love hollywood so you might get paid to drive home.

    slid through venice and on main street picked up a tourist guy from barcelona who just had a full day of being at the beach and taking a tour bus through sunset to DTLA and back. then he jumped in the ocean and ate japanese. then ubered me and i drove him to where his air bnb was. we talked about how spanish people really dont like spicy food.

    after dropping him off i went back to main and picked up two athletic frat bros and their mom from one of my favorite bars in venice. the boys were going to another bar off pch and they asked me to drop mom off in brentwood. turned out they all went to ucsb, the boys met on the baseball team, ones in the minors now, and the mom went to ucsb in the late 70s when, she told me, rent on sabado was $65 a month. she also told me that beer was not allowed 1 mile around the campus. but they got it in their apartments anyhow. “grass too!” she said. lovely woman.

    streamdrove down wilshire to westwood but got a call to double back towards brentwood. saw a guy with 2 pretty girls in black dresses. Thought ok. Then 4 different girls appeared, even prettier somehow and they raced toward me. Approached the car. Said Uber? I says yep. They says Lure on Ivar?

    I was all holy cow that’s in Hollywood where I wanna be!

    I said you girls aren’t Swedish are you? They said yep. And the perfume was amazing and the accents and mama mia. i said ive been to sweden. they asked where? i said Jönköping. and there was silence. i guess my accent was dead on.

    they were all, why were you in Jönköping? i said, because thats where the prettiest girls in the world are.

    they laughed and said, no, Stockholm! then they asked me if i could get there in half the time a normal man could get there in.

    i said i will get you there faster than anyone else in the world and they requested kiss-fm and as rihanna and pitbull and kei$ha and avincci played commercial free and they sang along i took wilshire to santa monica to fountain to highland and right on ivar and boom a convention of impossibly beautiful young ladies all waiting to go into this club behind amoeba records.

    it was 11pm and i was basically home and i had made $50 and my car smelled of young swedish college girls.

    so i rolled the dice and left the uber phone on. the risk is you’ll get someone who wants you to take them somewhere far away and you dont get home till way too late. but i got lucky and got a photographer who just wanted to go to the dragonfly, so i dropped him off, turned it off and couldnt believe my good luck.

    sometimes the good lord is looking out for you, and sometimes i think he just wants to see what it would take for you to enjoy kiss fm.

  4. Wednesday, December 5, 2012