sometimes i feel like this blog is a shout out to the future from the past

meeting huckabee

dear future,

here in the past we had a woman in kentucky who had a job where she had to give licences to people who wanted to get married.

well that crazy muslin obama convinced the supreme court (even a couple of the conservatives!) that the gays were people too and if they wanted to be foolish enough to say “youre the only person i wanna see naked for the rest of my life” then you all should get married too.

this lady claims she is a Christian. not a Jesus love-your-neighbor-as-youd-want-them-to-love-you Christian but indeed a much different type.

she is the type who would say, no im not going to give you marriage certificate because it goes against MY religion.

a judge told her that she works in a government office, therefore no one gives a rats ass about her religion because church and state. and she said wait what?

and he ESPed her this: b, what if my religion was one that said if a woman disobeys a judge we get to light her on fire because maybe shes a witch? would you like that? didnt think so, so shut up and oil up that rubber stamp and start handing out paperwork!

but she didnt listen. she went right back to work where all these gay people were waiting and when they asked for the paperwork she said no.

so the judge put her in the jail!

then mike huckabee showed up to visit her! because he was the same type of Christian who thinks their religion is more important than other peoples human rights and importanter than the constitution. also, he’s running for president of the united states, a job where if you get it a judge asks you “dude are you seriously gonna defend the constitution?” and if you dont say hell yeah then they set you on fire because youre probs a witch.

so she got in jail on friday and stayed there all over the labor day weekend and on tuesday mike huckabee was still there so the judge said this cray and let her out. also, her husband showed up in overalls and a crazy hat because it was kentucky and no one wanted us to forget.

so there you have it. america in 2015 is just as insane as it ever was. except nowadays we have longer lasting overalls.

have i told you that in a past life i was a son of levi?


of the twelve tribes of israel there was one who made sure the church was in order

the levites.

they didnt work in the field they didnt fight in the wars

they had families and food and drink and all of that from the tithes of the tribe.

from afar it may have looked like they didnt do anything and got a free ride

but truth of the matter is they kept the community from bearing the brunt of Gods wrath

and trust me there was plenty for Him to be super pissed off about.

little known fact, when the Jews bailed Egypt with Moses when he parted the sea

not even Moses made it to the Promised Land

no, God killed everyone for whining and bitching and moaning along the journey.

the only ones who made it across were the sons of levi because they were chill.

they never said omg this free mana falling from the sky is so boring

they never said LOL water outta rocks, talk about mineral water, but its not cold!

they just accepted their fate and trusted the fire pillar at night and cloud in the day

they built temples and sacrificed the right things and burned the right incense

so that it pleased the Lord and reminded Him that there were some who got it.

and some who needed some extra learnings, thats all, they didnt mean to be asswipes.

anyways pretty sure i was a son of levi back then.

back when it mattered.

the quote of the week came from the new pope who stopped believing in Hell

pope francis

“We must recognize that religious truth evolves and changes. Truth is not absolute or set in stone. Even atheists acknowledge the divine. Through acts of love and charity the atheist acknowledges God as well, and redeems his own soul, becoming an active participant in the redemption of humanity,” Pope Francis told the Third Vatican Council on Christmas. Or if you’re new Pope, Casual Thursday.

“Through humility, soul searching, and prayerful contemplation we have gained a new understanding of certain dogmas. The church no longer believes in a literal hell where people suffer. This doctrine is incompatible with the infinite love of God. God is not a judge but a friend and a lover of humanity. God seeks not to condemn but only to embrace. Like the fable of Adam and Eve, we see hell as a literary device. Hell is merely a metaphor for the isolated soul, which like all souls ultimately will be united in love with God” the Pope declared.

And then he dropped the mic.

Sadly it was a fake quote.

But if it frees you to do what your loving heart desires, you should live by it.