busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Monday, October 20, 2014
  2. Monday, September 8, 2014

    weirdly it was a really tough weekend 

    10694947_10152665945373057_1399432498_ndrove and drove and drove.

    uber has figured out how to take most of the profit away from the drivers while making themselves billionaires.

    i guess thats the american dream?

    pretty girls flirted with me. people told me secrets. and if someone overheard a conversation i had they woulda sworn someone proposed to me and i said yes.

    you should never dare me, america. im sorta down for whatever.

    growing up where i did, truth or dare was an olympic sport. there was no shame, nor should there be. truth? nothing in here is true? dare? what can you dare a former xbi agent to do that life hasnt already run us through four five times before we were 23?

    within the same hour two wonderful young ladies admitted their secret shames to me. talk about the stars aligning. its interesting how other peoples secrets that haunt them often dont mean anything alarming to me.

    like if boy george finally came out to his parents. wouldnt his parents say, do you think we didnt know?

    thats what i said, twice, because i have not read the book about what to say after someone pours their heart out to you. other than the truth: its no big deal, bb. is there anything else you want to reveal? no? that was really it? thats whats eating at you? you didnt kill anyone? youre not really a man? you didnt secretly poison puppies at the pound?

    we are all gonna die and st. peter is gonna be at the pearly gates and now joan rivers is gonna be there too and peter is gonna have a long list of things we did that were super bad and joan is gonna ask why we wore what we wore when we did it.

    and hopefully they will feel about our sins the way i feel about yours: those are all normal stumbles on this dark cobblestone path called life.

    your heart meant well and you did what you thought was the right move at the right time.

    no go in peace, nirvana is tuning up in the secret spot.

  3. Tuesday, August 26, 2014

    things i never thought would be possible 

    elvis costello in san francisco

    if you had asked me when i was 18 these things i would have said no freaking way

    1. i would meet elvis costello and get my picture taken with him (he hates photos of himself and usually bans photogs from his concerts)

    2. that i would have attended two Oscars in a row, one as a spectator, one as a paid employee

    3. that id be dating a hot blonde nearly half my age who asks me things by first whispering busblog… in my ear.

    4. that id trade in a 2011 smokin hot black Camaro for Ford’s version of the Prius in a decision that has nothing to do with having kids.

    5. that the Cubs would be ending the 2014 season with one of the best, young teams in major league baseball history

    6. that in 2014 no one wants to be on the Lakers

    very few things in life are predictable,

    which is why we do our best to fight through the rough patches, because theres usually light at the end of the tunnel

  4. Thursday, July 31, 2014

    saw slash and aerosmith last night at the forum with amber 

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    theres many things to appreciate about a long legged blonde who will wear ridiculous shirts and come to a rock show with you

    one is i enjoy taking pictures of pretty girls standing next to strange men, especially if theyre gay or holding signs.

    the first gentleman was advertising one of my favorite soul food haunts, M&Ms (which stands for Mississippi and Memphis(?)

    they keep closing locations and opening up new ones, theres a new one kitty corner to The Forum,

    but for some reason it closes at 9pm which is way too early for the post-show meal but it’s cool.

    what else is cool is people still dont understand that M&M’s signature is they dont give a flip. heres a typical review:

    The food was cold and the service was crap when I went there before Christmas, but the place is ghetto and the waitress was new that short changed me $5. When I brought it to her attention she displayed major attitude telling me that her tip was automatic. Beware of the light-skinned older lady with the crooked afro.

    god i miss that place.10572244_10152575809878057_173887130_n

    my favorite place to park at the Forum is across the street from people who rent out their own parking spots

    that’s where we met Jorge who was so excited to take our $20 and run around the block showing us his “last spot”.

    it sure looked like his last spot although when we got out and paid he ran after someone else claiming that person should take advantage of his last spot

    apparently i parked so well he could squeeze someone else in.

    good for Jorge.

    before i paid i asked him if he would be interested in posing next to Amber

    he said oh noooooo.

    i said i wont tell your wife. he said oh nooooo.

    i said if you dont, i WILL tell your wife.

    click.

    he called me his amigo and loco and a few things and it was super sweet we shook hands and he said he would watch the car all night.

    i said if he hears any muffled sounds from the trunk or knocks he should ignore them.

    he winked and said, dont forget to lock your doors “welcome to inglewood!”

    and we became friends

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    another thing nice about amber smith blog is she appreciates getting to the show at a reasonable hour so you can watch the opening band.

    last night’s opener was Slash who has no problem playing all the classic Guns n Roses songs that either he co-wrote or played a prominent part in.

    not only that, but part of that great sound were his piercing solos, of which he clearly loves busting.

    we got there a tad late but just in time for Sweet Child O’Mine.

    Slash’s singer, Miles Somebody is no Axl but from the cheap seats (thanks, TravelZoo) he sure sounded like a decent substitute.

    after Miles introduced the band he said, thanks for coming, get ready for Aerosmith, but first, Welcome To The Jungle.

    and it was on.

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    Aerosmith was amazing. especially compared to KISS and Def Leppard who we saw a few weeks back.

    Steven Tyler has so much energy its tremendous and he can still hit all the high notes.

    some of his moves are worn out and predictable but theyre still so fun and their catalogue is so deep they still had a half dozen super great tunes (Amazing, What It Takes, Janie’s Got A Gun) that they just didnt have time to get to.

    Back in the Saddle
    Eat the Rich
    Love in an Elevator
    Cryin’
    Livin’ on the Edge
    Monkey on My Back
    Kings and Queens
    Toys in the Attic
    Rag Doll
    Freedom Fighter
    Big Ten Inch Record
    (Bull Moose Jackson cover) (with Johnny Depp)
    Lord of the Thighs
    I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing
    No More No More
    Dude (Looks Like a Lady)
    Walk This Way
    Encore:
    Dream On
    (With Southern California Children’s Chorus)
    Sweet Emotion

    They brought out Johnny Depp for Big Ten Inch Record but unfortunately Amber was in the ladies room interviewing the ladies and when she got back she only caught a few seconds of the end.

    I said im so sorry, she said, that’s ok, hes not really my type, and then kissed me on my cheek.

    the xbi sure programs these blondes perfectly.

    ktla however needs to fire this reporter:

    also, why were they there?

    speaking of, why were the dorky college kids in the row in front of us there?

    ive never seen a group of youngsters flip through their social media more during a concert in my life.

    during some of the biggest hits one dude was seriously going through his Facebook timeline seeing what his friends were up to.

    meanwhile another guy was texting his friend and his friend was all “are you singing along?”

    and the dude, honestly replied “LOL No.”

    LOL NO IS RIGHT.

    back to amber…

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    so to test her willingness to hang with the busblog after the show i was all you didnt drink a drop in the show, you only had a few bites of my pulled pork sandwich

    either you are an amazingly realistic animatronic creation from the future

    or youre starving right now. how about a Munchie Meal from Jack in the Box

    she said, only if you get extra jalapenos.

    which just happened to be the magic phrase so she won Cubs tix for friday night.

  5. Wednesday, July 9, 2014

    finally saw kiss play last night 

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    super fun, loud, and filled with fireworks, fire, blood, confetti and good vibes

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    and also Def Leppard, who opened.

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    if youre gonna take a tall drink of water may i suggest amber smith blog who is a delight.

    she will eat wherever, whenever, she’s sweet to everyone, and will even pose with crazy ppl with kiss makeup

    we had a spectacular time and not even one beer was sipped all night: def a first for me at a rock show.

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    thanks to the xbi we had front row tickets in the lower bowl at the newly refurbished Forum

    Def Leppard and KISS both expressed sincere gratitude to be back at the arena in Inglewood

    both mentioning how important the venue was for them through their career.

    Joe Elliott said they knew they had made it when, during sound check in 1983, they were opening for Queen there

    and as they were chilling in the back of the stadium during sound check

    they heard Brian May bust with one of their riffs and they couldnt believe their luck.

    likewise, guess who we ran into

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    Katie Bain!

    who of course was there. she’s pretty much always at every great show in town

    so if you see her where you’re at you know you’ve chosen right.

    excellent night all around and what a pleasure to go with someone who also blogs because

    now i can say, hey check out amber’s take on the festivities.

  6. Tuesday, July 8, 2014

    kiss + def leppard tonight at the forum 

    kiss armyonly time ive ever seen kiss live was at the american idol finale when adam lambert won.

    they had this thing where the two finalists each sang two songs.

    the first song they sang alone and the second they sang with a famous group. Lamberts was with Kiss. and it was spectacular.

    just one song but mama mia. fireworks. raised platforms. real rock and roll.

    drove this dude yesterday from Los Feliz to Santa Monica and when i told him about the show he was all hmmmm maybe i’ll go too. he had never seen Kiss neither.

    Def Leppard is opening up. my sister had Pyromania which i always thought was a weak version of AC/DC but in a pinch anything AC/DCish is better than some of the crap that was on the radio then.

    nowadays i think they’ll be a fine opener.

    it’s weird, i dont think ive ever owned a KISS record but im pretty sure i know all the songs theyre gonna play tonight. how? osmosis? so many other bands covering them? the radio?

    because rock and roll is in my heart and pumps through my soul?

    anyways im stoked. im going with amber, an excellent young lady who is very fun to hang out with. we have good seats. its at the refurbished Fabulous Forum, which i havent been to since their makeover.

    the show starts a little earlier than id like it to because id sure love to grab some soul food before the gig but i dont wanna miss too much of the leppard.

  7. Monday, July 7, 2014

    regrets, i have a few 

    one was breaking a sweet girl’s heart

    one was nearly dying in vegas

    one was trusting untrustworthy people

    and one huge one was not seeing Page & Plant: whoa momma

  8. Monday, June 23, 2014

    the three best things i saw at coachella 

    2014 is half over which makes me wanna look back and give thanks

    to the killer things ive gotten to see so far.

    one thing i didnt expect to be as fun as it was was coachella.

    i thought it would be too hot, and that id get too tired and the music would blow

    but no it was great and miss lana del rey was a desert oasis

    she opened her set with the provocative Cola which spilled out into the front row

    tasty

    the replacements were the main reason i was there and Paul hurt his back

    so they pulled out a couch for him to lay on

    and life pulled out Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day to play with them

    on pretty much every song. he even sang I’m In Trouble while Paul lounged.

    typical unpredictable Replacements action for 75 minutes.

    arcade fire played so long coachella shut their mics off

    but that didnt stop them from being awesome

    they did one little acoustic victory lap around so everyone knew what to sing

    as they all went on their long journeys to their cars in the parking lot

  9. Tuesday, May 20, 2014

    you might remember i ran into Deryk from Sun-41 at the tom petty show 

    AOiiZmC

    when was that, last june? wow, time flies.

    anyway he looked terrible and i think i said so.

    sum

    actually i probably didnt say so because one of the things about LA is you dont say things like that

    why? well i probably looked pretty terrible

    and i wasnt standing next to a tall skinny model who was wearing AA pants

    and super tall shoes.

    but also, if someone has hit the bottom you dont blawwwwg about it

    unless your name is Perez and youre bound for hell.

    i was at the bar a lot that night but bro was stationed there.

    maybe he was happy just listening to Petty play the small club.

    maybe he was happy standing next to his girl and singing a long

    and drinking.

    to be honest i thought about that a lot that night: why isnt bro watching?

    why is he just drinking?

    well now we know.

  10. Wednesday, May 7, 2014

    I haven’t written for LAist in forever 

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    But the very sweet Rachel Reynolds invited me to Bruce Springsteen’s producer’s studio (mr bob clearmountain) on Cinco de Mayo

    To see and hear the Mexican guitar slingers Rodrigo y Gabriela

    And I knew I was gonna tell the world about such a perfect night

    So I asked LAist’s editor Emily if she was interested and she said Si

    But of course I got an uber over there bc I knew is be drinking. Your BFF canceled on me at the lastest minute possible which made me very sad.

    Weirdly when I texted the lovely Daria she said oh hell yes so we sped over there, rocked out, drank, and them drank more and ate tacos at Taco Zone

    Then got caught jaywalking and I told the cops that if they only gave me a ticket I would remove the curse I could see hanging over them.

    They said what curse.

    I said you know the one.

    And now I’ve gotta pay like $200 in a month. Which is better than both of us paying.

    So we got in an uber and went home and drank and drank.

    The next day boy was I tired but I wrote the whole review on my bAck on this iPhone and this morning they published it.

    Because it’s life, some sad things happened because not every thing is perfecto and some people are loco. Here’s what you’ve gotta do: burn bridges.

    And then shake the ashes off at the town’s gates.

    Not everyone’s going to respect you. That’s their loss, not yours. Yours is the kingdom of Heaven.

    This morning Daria invited me to the Vegan Beer Fest and I said hell yeah.