busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Sunday, February 10, 2019

    fuck yeah greg mcilvaine 

    last night, in a beautifully appointed rented soundstage in atwater village

    greg vaine, your boy, invited bandmates from groups he’s rocked with since he was a teen,

    to his time in isla vista,

    frisco,

    and now back in LA.

    there were reunions, surprises, cover tunes, a taco hat,

    multiple costume changes,

    it could have gone on all weekend.

    it’s a testament to how loved greg is and how many different genres of music are better when he’s on guitar.

    i hope we do this every 50 years.

  2. Sunday, February 3, 2019

    stupid bowl 

    adam levine, the singer of the extremely mediocre Maroon 5, could have become a rock and NFL legend today

    musicians from Rihanna to Cardi B turned down the honor of performing at halftime of the Super Bowl this year, in solidarity against the obvious collusion that has kept quarterback Colin Kaepernick out of the NFL.

    through their performance levine took off a jacket, a sweater, and then his shirt before ending the show bare chested and stupid. if under his sweater was a Kaepernick jersey, levine would have won the hearts of gazillions.

    instead neither he nor the band wanted to acknowledge the elephant in the room and they pranced around like dingos, did their tunes, and got off the stage.

    by now we should know that Maroon 5 will not save us. neither will most of the flashes in the pan that for one reason or another hang around beyond their expiration date.

    but in the realm of rock n roll, there is a beautiful history of rebellion and protest that should never be forgotten. once upon a time tattoos were the symbol of defiance and individuality. today it’s just another accessory.

    the nfl chose the right johnny bravos to keep things as least interesting as possible, but one day rock will return.

  3. Tuesday, January 8, 2019

    today we went to a fancy mansion 

    some say it’s the largest home in all of beverly hills. some say it has 54 rooms.

    i say, thats a lot of rooms for a single family with five kids in the late 1920s.

    it was super cool. we were on a special visit. the people gave us an amazing tour that included the secret bowling alley and hidden bar.

    the grounds are used for weddings a lot.

    amber does this funny thing where she says i dont want to get married but if i did i would want to do it… and invite…. and honeymoon in….

    so yesterday i told her the story of mick and jerry and how happy they were when they were not married and how they broke up almost as soon as they got hitched and i showed her pictures and i thought i had convinced her

    until we visited the largest home in beverly hills and the gardens where even famous people have been married in. with its sweeping views of LA.

    and i whispered, never forget mick and jerry

    and she said, never forget john and yoko

    and i whispered, that was his second marriage…

  4. Tuesday, December 18, 2018

    bohemian rhapsody 

    i will watch any bio pic about any band any time. 

    i love music so much and music docs or retellings, especially if they utilize the actual tunes, will have me glued, so i am the wrong person to ask about the Freddy Mercury film because of course i loved it. 

    rami malek was perfect in every way possible. his accent, his moves, the way he arched his back, the way he posed

    i grew up in an extremely homophobic town. if you were a teenage boy you could barely say you liked Journey without being called gay. And yet every long haired rocker had a Judas Priest shirt despite the fact that Rob Halford was never seen without a full leather daddy outfit. 

    Why were we surprised when he came out, likewise why was Queen of all bands allowed a pass? 

    Because sometimes the music is so good that the champion of the gayest guy in the room can sing it right to your face and all you see are heart emojis. 

    I’m still very curious why I never thought about Freddy’s sexuality while in high school. Could he have been more blatant? Whatever. Loved him then, love him more now. 

    My only gripe about the film was they glossed right over “Under Pressure” like it’s NBD that Queen had an unbelievable collaboration with David Bowie. As if that song wasn’t a huge hit for both of them. For Queen it was just their second #1 tune in the UK, for Bowie it was his third. 

    Originally Bowie came to the studio with Queen to sing background on a song that was never released. So while he was there they jammed and tried another song that failed. Later they met up again in Switzerland and jammed and you can hear via the scatting on “Under Pressure” how they were formulating the dynamic tune. It is epic not in length but in styles. Count how many changes happen in it: a gazillion. It goes from one song to another to another to another and returns to that beautiful Vanilla Ice riff. 

    How do you just toss that into a story about something else? 

    Whatever. Loved it. Give the dude an award because fuck man that could not have been easy to do. 

  5. Tuesday, November 27, 2018

    i am the most basic bitch 

     

    i still have cable tv. i still miss my mtv. even though i listen to jazz on sundays i couldnt tell you four miles davis records let alone four white piano players.

    i try but i am Joe Sixpack who fortunately moved to LA at the right time otherwise id have 2.4 kids and a four bedroom 3 bath house with a messy garage in suburbia right now, id be fatter and balder and seeing possibilities with Mitt.

    but like i said the Lord nudged me west and opened my mind so you can all get inside

    when i landed on this coast in the mid 80s, one young woman after another told me i was on the wrong path;  that i was steering into sexism and stupidism and lazyism, and god bless them for calling bullshit because my dude friends sure as hell never told me those things.

    so here we are in the future i never expected. a world without mtv. dumbest president ever, voted on by the most gullible 60 million plus some russian bots. only music can tame this wild beast so after seeing this glorious write up in my favorite paper, i told the gf that i bought tickets, in cleveland, to listen to classical music in that gorgeous setting.

    she was all, fuck yeah.

    until i learned that the stones are playing that same night here in LA. what to do? the Stones are olllllld. there can’t be that many more chances to see Keef and Mick bouncing around. they want my money and i want to give it to them.

    do you know how many times i say Siri, play Some Girls?

    all the times. do you know i devoured keiths book? how much i love how they took black music and immersed themselves in it and washed it behind their ears and let it seep into their nooks and crannies and marinated in it album after album in the early days and then, as if it was like magic, 1967 appeared and out came the perfect swirl of brit pop, american r ‘n b, and lsd. her satanic majesty’s secret sauce.  the perfect storm. the storm before the storm because boom boom boom one classic after another.

    will this tour be a celebration of experimentation and exploitation?

    no. it too is living in the future they never thought would exist: selling out stadiums in their mid 70s.

    but everything is possible in this brave new world so when i said baby the Cleveland show i wanna go to is the same day as the Stones show, what do we do?

    she said, “lets go to Cleveland, ive already seen the Stones. And you have too, several times.”

    and my mind was blown because once again a delightful woman had gently advised me that i buy in to the hype time and again. i am the most basic of bitches. the most gullible of guppies. i am Joe Sixpack, quietly being led to the slaughter.

  6. Sunday, November 4, 2018

    amber just gave me the sweetest compliment 

    shes been a little bit sick so shes been in bed for two days,

    i was standing with my shirt off and long plaid pajama pants on

    eating some jumbo shrimp i had just gotten for myself after going out to get her soup and seltzer water.

    she said, “you remind me of a lot of the rock stars that stay at my hotel”

    she works at a fancy beverly hills joint

    she said, “you don’t worry about anything. you’re just cool.”

    shes lived with me over a year and thats what she thinks?

    oh i worry.

    i worry this whole thing might get pulled out from under me at any minute.

    i am not in control of anything. i could do the greatest job ever on this secret project and still get thrown to the wolves. i could do a cruddy job and get praised. you never know what people will think.

    but my biggest fear is not a person at all. it’s God. i wanna go to Heaven. but you dont get in because of  your dazzling good looks or witty banter. it’s your heart. and you can’t fake that.

    what is in my heart? it aint sugar and spice and everything nice, thats for damn sure.

    of course i care about the poor and others and this one and that one but i was in the xbi. ive done some things. who knows if im forgiven?

    Yes Jessica painted this painting that i bought from her that she framed and sent to me. it says “forgive yourself. for all of it.”

    it’s hung right next to my giant bedroom tv. right above a Cubs hat. i look at it every. single. day.

    but there are some unforgivable things.

    and even if i convince myself that there arent, what if God disagrees?

    the Good Book says the only unforgivable sin is blasphemy, or more specifically denying God. everything else has been paid for by Jesus.

    let’s hope thats the case because i would like to go back to worrying about the same things that rock stars in swanky hotels should worry about: when will the creativity dry up one day, when will the pretty girls stop paying attention,

    and when will that Mexicoke ever arrive from room service?

  7. Monday, October 1, 2018

    did i tell you that amber and i saw beck? 

    do i tell you anything interesting? do i ever ask

    how was YOUR day?

    if i won the lottery i would do all the right things, but then with the million left over

    i would buy a Chuck E. Cheese and only have the best video games and pinball machines

    id have actually great pizza, so great you’d want it delivered.

    thered be special days where kids from the childrens hospital could go wild in there

    and on friday and saturday nights bands would play there

    but the opener would always be my robot band that would play cool music like this

    indie artists everywhere will write songs for the robot band

    it might be the only time they’ll have an audience.

  8. Thursday, September 13, 2018

    i save my reading for listening 

    as i drive around this fair city i enjoy having others read to me

    Morrissey’s autobiography was a delight mostly because Moz is an exceptional writer

    and it makes me feel like i should stop watching so much TV and start reading

    you know, actual books

    because when you hear someone lie Morrissey explain things or describe things

    and every sentence is so descriptive with analogies and metaphors that come from ancient scrolls

    and legendary literature and you’re all, wait was that original or a Shakespearian quote

    you feel equal parts excited and ignorant.

    i also liked that he just wanted England to love him and it didnt. not like LA or Mexico or Scandinavia.

    here people would dress like him and scream his lyrics right back at him and fill up this one and that one

    theyd damn near riot, but in his beloved UK they’d barely bat their lashes

    i also like that his record labels barely supported him and no one knew what to do with his successes.

    it is a pattern that i have seen in my own life: some people and organizations are built for mediocrity

    they have zero interest in wild success, all they want to do is keep on keeping on.

    they don’t want failure, but in an odd way they feel more comfortable with a hiccup or two

    than they are huge accomplishments.

    they’re terrified of breaking records, leading the pack, or breaking through to the new thing.

    here The Smiths and Morrissey were selling hand over fist – even when the group broke up, yet the labels were far more willing to spend endless amounts of time and effort into the unproven and even failed,

    than they were to the quirky vegetarian straight edge asexual exception to the rule.

    in the book he even says that Michael Stipe has always wanted to go solo.

    fascinating!

  9. Saturday, September 8, 2018

    im not dead, im doing things 

    and for me doing things takes a little time. i can knock out certain things quickly but when i care about them time goes so quickly to catch up with my mind

    im on schedule. have no fear. but when i do stuff i think about three or four steps ahead which is cool except it makes me stumble on the step im currently on.

    ive asked the young kids i used to work with what their thoughts are on Adderall because i saw a movie on Netflix about how every kid in college is on it because it helps them focus and they had mixed reviews.

    they said sure if you wanna clean your room in a night or paint details on a huge blank wall. but you can get addicted, it’s not cheap, and it fucks up your sleep. i’ll just stick to bad music, incense and Mexicokes.

    been dropping off Birds at 5am. im a weirdo. it pays ok. a little less than Uber and for some reason it uses up more gas than i expected but it sends me into alleys and back ways and bizarre parts of LA that i wouldnt normally go to.

    ran into two gay guys last night in hollywood. one of them was pulling up his pants. so much love out there. or hookers. hard to tell sometimes. whatever, love it is.

    speaking of Love one thing i love about Hollywood is how you will see a perfectly good Ma & Pa Kettle house made of wood, with a porch and a brick fireplace right next to a 19 story modern hotel right next to a McMansion. everyone in their place. everyone wanting to be somewhere else. bigger, shinier, more secluded. more rocking. bigger pool.

    i just wanna always feel like everythings ok. and right now its pretty ok.

    speaking of Love, 20 years ago today Hole came out with Celebrity Skin named after the magazine or glam band or JK long live courtney.

  10. Wednesday, August 8, 2018

    today we are going to weezer and the pixies 

    last night amber dyed her hair to prepare

    me, i shaved and got a hair cut.

    it was so hot today – like 95 degrees.

    but in my office it was super cold. i have a little space heater. imagine that.

    plus i wore a little hoodie.

    i hardly ever eat at work, just nibble. my life is so boring.

    all amber and i ever do is walk around and say hi to homeless people and then eat tacos.

    thats what we did yesterday.

    i had bought her a bowl of soup at Pho 2000 but still when we got home i was like, let me change into shorts and lets walk to Silver Lake

    you gotta get in your steps.

    you gotta live.

    the more you live the more your body is all hell yeah.

    so keep living, rock stars.

    never die.