busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Wednesday, August 8, 2018

    today we are going to weezer and the pixies 

    last night amber dyed her hair to prepare

    me, i shaved and got a hair cut.

    it was so hot today – like 95 degrees.

    but in my office it was super cold. i have a little space heater. imagine that.

    plus i wore a little hoodie.

    i hardly ever eat at work, just nibble. my life is so boring.

    all amber and i ever do is walk around and say hi to homeless people and then eat tacos.

    thats what we did yesterday.

    i had bought her a bowl of soup at Pho 2000 but still when we got home i was like, let me change into shorts and lets walk to Silver Lake

    you gotta get in your steps.

    you gotta live.

    the more you live the more your body is all hell yeah.

    so keep living, rock stars.

    never die.

  2. Wednesday, June 13, 2018

    been reading Oscar Levant’s “the memoirs of an amnesiac” 

    he’s talking about taking a train into LA’s union station

    and how when he does he always goes to this newsstand and asks for a new yorker.

    but one day the lady at the newsstand really rubs him the wrong way when she tells him she’s all out of new yorkers.

    after that he vows to go to “an inferior newsstand” to avoid dealing with her ever again.

    because he was a concert pianist, the new yorker would review his concerts and sometimes give him bad reviews.

    it got me thinking how hard it is to write a good bad music review. you dont want to utterly destroy the performer, but you want to be colorful and entertaining. but ultimately you are judging the most subjective thing there is: art.

    when i was at the record store in the mid 80s there were two bands that were bubbling under. fishbone and the red hot chili peppers.

    both were good and funky and creative and fun and funny and all the things youd want if you were 18 like i was.

    and if you had asked me: one of these bands is going to get huge and be a world wide sensation through the year 2018, which one would it be?

    i would have said Fishbone, no question. Because as good as the Chili Peppers is, 18 year old me woulda said, ultimately they are derivative of PFunk mixed with a little more rock, but still white dudes doing fast funk.

    and i would have been wrong. and their biggest tune, “under the bridge”, would have proven me a fool because it isnt funk and it isnt fast.

    which is why i would add, it’s tough to make a good bad music review… that stands up to the test of time.

     

  3. Sunday, April 15, 2018

    beyonce ruined everything last night at Coachella 

    and i do mean everything.

    how am i supposed to go to a concert now?

    it’s not gonna be as great as she was last night.

    how am i gonna even go to a club?

    she took everything great about music and dance and spectacle and black pride

    and shoved it in our faces

    and flicked her long, wild wig at it

    and smiled.

    i was not a huge Beyonce fan, but last night not only did i, but we all saw the light.

    we all saw the power of black girl magic.

    she was graceful and fast and smooth and only got better as the clock ticked closer to two hours.

    she didn’t rely on video screens or inflatable props

    she was so magical that even the fireworks were all fuck this and felt like sparklers.

    she had a whole damn marching band on stage with her, all of MC Hammers dancers, the twins from Cirque, an orchestra, and an all girl heavy metal band.

    it reminded me of Kanye’s 808 n Heartbreaks redeux show at the Hollywood Bowl mixed with gasoline and twerking. it was the history of black college culture, hip hop, a cookout, and a family reunion when Destiny’s Child appeared and reminded us that you can come home again.

    for years the rumors have been that Coachella would drop a boatload to get the Smiths to reunite.

    all i can say after what i am still trying to process from last night ON TV

    is fuck the Smiths.

    beyonce showed us what giving 100% to the grandest idea you could think of looks and sounds like

    ONE HUNDRED PERCENT

    and it is flawless.

  4. Thursday, April 12, 2018

    last night we saw St. Vincent play at the Orpheum 

    at first Amber totally wanted to go. then she asked me when the show was.

    i said hey its 6:30pm, im driving people around via my uber, i cant chat, oh look at that a wayward vehicle. yep. i cant chat. find out and tell me.

    after a while someone told her that the show didnt start until 10:30pm

    she texted me to complain and worry. she worried because she had to wake up at 4am to go to work.

    she enjoys taking the early morning shifts because poof then her day is done.

    only problem is it cramps our late night style.

    she texted me and said Less Is More which a good man would have been able to decipher, but alas i was still driving.

    got back to the pad and it was 9pm. she was napping. she had a wet towel on her head. she looked pretty.

    i said i would normally let you sleep but i hear Vincent was so good the other day that the Catholic Church made her a Saint

    so get up, we gotta go.

    and because ambers a trooper she got it together and put on a slinky dress and some knee high socks

    and we drove downtown. i told her yo after 45 minutes we can leave. in n out. just like always.

    we had great seats and within minutes she was all over me

    im so glad we came, she said and hugged me.

    it was good. sorta like devo. minus the great devo tunes.

  5. Monday, December 11, 2017

    i made it through the wilderness 

    i know i know i know

    but i was sick.

    then i got busy. then i got sick again. now im good.

    im not good good because i have this issue with coughing that i will cough up phlegm but whatever its the winter and im a sensitive poet

    and so many emotional things are happening in and around LA it’s bizarre.

    for instance, at UCSB they had to cancel all of their finals so the kids can run away and hide at their parents house because of the fires up there.

    my favorite teacher has had to pack up her family and shes considering just going to the ocean in a rowboat and watching the world burn from the sea

    meanwhile we are seeing super weird photos of the smoke rising from the santa barbara + ventura region and it’s scary because when I think of the central coast

    i think of the safest region in the whole world

    it’s where i hope to escape to when The Big One strikes LA.

    so to see it in misery like this is horrid. then of course there is the soon death of the Internet via Net Neutrality. Trump is trying to get the Middle East fighting with themselves. And the Cubs lost out on both the great hitter from Miami and the pitcher/hitter from Japan.

    the only thing making me believe in humanity right now are my friends, the pretty girl who parades around my house half nude, and the upcoming Star Wars film which i have secured tickets for on Thursday night at 10pm even though i will probably fall asleep before the previews are over.

    which brings us to Pussy Riot, Russias finest all-female punk band

    who plays this week, two different nights in LA, and i wanna see it but i have to make money at Uber

    and im so tired,

    so tired.

    so.

     

  6. Sunday, November 19, 2017

    toughest question I was asked all week 

    A very well meaning gentleman was tasked to help me on a project

    he said can you draw it up for me.

    I said no problem and in minutes I had it sketched out on a yellow legal pad using a blue pen

    then he said the most curious thing. He said can you show me an example somewhere where someone else had done it?

    I said have you ever met anyone like me?

    I asked in your whole life how many xbi agents have you met?

    even among uber drivers how many uber drivers do you know like me?

    I said I am here to do

    New Things

    Big things

    Cool things.

    Things that if they had been done already, I wouldn’t be interested in.

    No this hasn’t existed before and that’s why people are going to love it.

    He asked well what about that saying that there’s nothing new under the sun?

    I said I want you to listen to Pink Floyd’s greatest hits.

    Yes there were guitars and bass and drums and vocals and saxophones before Pink Floyd

    But there wasn’t Pink Floyd before or since.

    And that’s what we should all strive for: to express our own unique freakiness that never was before we got here.

    And one way to get there is to find the gaps where no ones ever been before.

    And trust me, the audience will follow us there.

  7. Monday, September 11, 2017

    sometimes youre buying pillows at Fallas Paredes discount store 

    and you’re waiting in a line that wont move and amber says hey im gonna get some bananas at the Jons and i’ll meet you outside.

    and you wait and you wait and as you’re waiting you hear the booming sounds of what appears to be a band playing.

    now you’re old enough to remember when rock music used to float through the air all the time.

    but those times are long gone.

    so when you connect with her outside you say, hey lets go over to that alley to see what local schmos are about to get shut down because clearly this music is too loud.

    and as you walk with your pillows and bananas

    you see a tiny little crowd in the alley are looking over a fence

    and you get closer and notice theres an entire parking lot fenced off with a huge catering situation. really good smelling food and people in chefs outfits scrambling.

    then you see a security guard but not in a cheesy Don Knotts outfit but a suit and tie like the Secret Service. and he’s guarding the back of what appears to be a stage.

    and then you hear what has to be the worlds greatest Red Hot Chili Peppers cover band break into “Under The Bridge”

    and someone nods their head.

    and you see Flea’s head bounce above the fence.

    and then you realize, uh, this is one of rock’s biggest bands playing 10 feet away from you

    playing one huge hit after another.

    so you keep standing there with 5-6 others and no one moves you and no one tells you to get lost

    and amber goes to a woman smoking by the back door

    and the woman says,

    Randy Newman is coming on next.

    and you’re all,

    you mean one of my favorite musicians of all time?

    you mean the same guy who I chose to see over seeing Stevie Ray Vaughn w/ BB King or The Who because they were all playing the same night in 1991 in LA

     

    and even though i sorta regret never seeing SRV, i thoroughly enjoyed seeing Randy at the Universal Ampitheater that night.

    and the stars say yes.

    but it was taking a while.

    and two college aged kids came out through the back entrance. past the secret service dude.

    and i say, hey is it true that Randy Newman is on next.

    and they say are you kidding us right now?

    i say no, youre in there do you know if anyone else is playing?

    and they say, oh youre serious? we are Randy’s children.

    and we LOL and chat and i tell them to tell their dad that he’s amazing.

    and 10 minutes later Randy walks from a car to that back entrance and plays.

    and as he does Chad Smith from the Chili’s has a smoke and a chat and poses with Amber Smith and then puts on his motorcycle helmet and hops on his bike and zooms home

    into the hills of Hollywood.

    where 100% true stories like this happen.

  8. Wednesday, August 9, 2017

    do you realize 

    That you have the most beautiful face
    Do you realize we’re floating in space,
    Do you realize that happiness makes you cry
    Do you realize that everyone you know someday will die
    And instead of saying all of your goodbyes, let them know
    You realize that life goes fast
    It’s hard to make the good things last
    You realize the sun doesn’t go down
    It’s just an illusion caused by the world spinning round
    – The Flaming Lips

    Continue reading “do you realize”

  9. Wednesday, June 21, 2017

    debating seeing Roger Waters 

    apparently this show is amaze

    also hes 73

    rock stars dont last this long

    except for the Stones, i know,

    and zep

    WHATEVER

    tix are like $181

    the screens are supposed to be like U2, incredible

    and i do love those songs

    but they do depress me sometimes

    amber has been paying rent, so maybe i should be happy about that and use that money for tix

    but i wanted to use that money to pay off the national debt.

    because debt is bad, mmmmkay? but missing great rock shows is also bad.

    do you see the problems i have in my life?

    we’re all gonna die.

    i should probs go to the rock show. so i have something to talk to St. Peter about.

    cuz lord knows i dont have any good stories up my sleeve,

    and all the angels and saints are dying for rock reviews.

    and not tales of freedom.

  10. Saturday, June 17, 2017

    i dont give a damn about my bad reputation 

    last night AJ and I saw Joan Jett and then Boston at the Greek.

    I never knew “I Love Rock n Roll” was a cover. Anyways when Bad Reputation is your 4th tune, it’s a good set.

    Setlist:
    Victim of Circumstance (1981)
    Cherry Bomb (The Runaways)
    Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah) (Gary Glitter)
    Bad Reputation (1981)
    You Drive Me Wild (The Runaways)
    Light of Day (Bruce Springsteen)
    Love Is Pain (1981)
    Love Is All Around (Mary Tyler Moore theme) Sonny Curtis cover)
    I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll (The Arrows)
    Crimson & Clover (Tommy James & the Shondells)
    I Hate Myself for Loving You (1988)
    Everyday People (Sly & The Family Stone cover)

    Then Boston came out and it was like a bunch of dads who have been practicing this shit for years.

    Worth it.