nothing in here is true

  1. Sunday, January 5, 2014

    dont hate me bc it’s beautiful 


    no interest in football this sunday so i drove down hollywood blvd and get a quick hike in


    everyones favorite dog park was packed because it was 72 degrees which rose to 75 while i was out there


    i also wanted to check out the new stairs by the empty mansion


    otherwise known as the $12 million crib that no one wants so they stopped hikers from walking so close to it


    which is kinda a weird thing to do when you build a house on a hill night next to a super popular hiking trail


    the new stairs were surprisingly rickety and bouncy. hopefully this is just the first stage of construction


    because people who use these stairs are pretty athletic and they will def be running on them and lighting them on fire.


    in the olden days you could just walk aside the empty home  but in the last few months they put up a few fences to detour you to the right


    some may complain but it’s a small price to pay for these beautiful January views


    dont let my mom see these signs


    shoutout to dude with the ankle weights who the girls were laughing at. but dem calves!


    oh forgot, the dogs liked peeing on the stairs too.


    after the hike i saw this cool new Robbie Conal poster


    and this handsome devil in a circus mirror


    the girls said we’d come here more often but the parking is terrible, i was all yeah it is but i have an idea


    for blocks and blocks around Runyon it’s no parking unless you have a permit.

    but anyone with a permit just parks in their garage or driveway.

    so im thinking, put parking meters on the street. $2 an hour. 2 hours max.


    and then give all the money raised to the neighbors of that hood.

    problem solved. everybody wins.

    yr welcome

  2. Wednesday, November 6, 2013

    looks like another perfect day, i love LA 


    was 82 degrees today in your favorite SoCal town so I drove down Hollywood Blvd to see what was happening


    Found Nick’s house key, so that was nice


    Saw some sweet street art, which is normal.


    Anyone who was off today, and had a pool on their roof was totally enjoying the sunshine


    And thanks to last night’s winds, the sky was clear and beautiful, so I went for a little hike


    If I was ever to film The Burning Bush scene from the 10 Commandments, I’d use this fella here


    Because I had only ate one bagel all day it was hard to get up the hard hill, but I made it and saw this panicked note


    It said that this mansion built that staircase to the right so that people would stop hiking right next to his crib


    As you approach you can see that there is a fence that just got built that soon will stop we hikers


    We will have to go down into the canyon to then walk up all those stairs, which is fine. People love stairs in LA. In the woods.


    That dog up there found a long stick and would carry it to his owner and whine but the owner was all whatevs. It was funny.


    Dumb LA looked dumb all day so I took pictures cuz what else you gonna do while you listen to Eminem’s new music?


    Pose with your BFF as a stranger takes a pic maybe? Fine.


    All their poses were uninspired. I was tempted to give them some ideas but I didnt like her Nike shirt.


    But I did love this Houses of the Holy style street art. A lot!


    Hope your Wednesday was beautiful too!

  3. Tuesday, October 29, 2013

    cloudy day and i didnt wanna just sit around looking on my phone all day 


    so i motivated and decided to take a little walk in the park


    even though it looked cloudy from my house, once i got up there, yep, suuuuuuper cloudy


    fortunately all the trails were super open like nbd like ignore the orange temp fence, just climb folks


    took a panorama because we hardly ever get clouds in these parts so you know… it lasts longer


    made it up the big hill with no issues. no idea why, maybe from hiking last week? who knows.


    maybe it helped that it was a little chilly and not super warm?


    because of last nights winds you could see the ocean from the wish box, which is usually what we wish for


    and for it not to rain while we’re outside


    and for the clouds to always look amazing


    totally forgot, there was a guy giving “free” massages out there in runyun. hmmmmm


    i didnt have the nerve to take him up on it.


    saw this sign and though, wait isnt $3,398 the price of a Chinatown apartment in NYC with a fraction of that square footage?


    i know that city is pretty cool, but this one aint too shabby neither. even on a cloudy day

  4. Thursday, August 1, 2013

    the beauty of the five thousand dollar reward 

    reward for lost dog

    1. you believe the person offering is truly serious

    2. of all the missing this or found that posters you’ll see, you’ll remember the one with the $5k reward

    3. because the bounty is so high you feel way more sad for the owners than usual

    4. theres no way you could ever accept the reward


  5. Monday, December 10, 2012

    superheroes are just like us 

    superhero in runyon

    Scott asks What do you think about the J Mascis interview Marc Maron did?

    i liked it a lot. id never heard J open up so much, especially to some very basic and obvious questions. but its clear he liked Marc and vice versa. especially loved the tunes at the end.

    Danielle Ciavarro asks why are Fridays the best day of the week?

    because the concept of a kickass party at the end of the week is a concept that goes back centurie.

    josé martinez queries what song by Coldplay embodies what you hate about Coldplay? Asking for a friend.

    as a matter of fact just last night i was enjoying the company of two beautiful spirits and yellow came on pandora. and i thought to myself well the girls like it, im sure, i should just be cool with all of this. but after a minute i thought this last minute has been an absolute lie. and i said, hey im gonna change this music if thats ok. and one of the ladies said thank god and if i hadnt just met her minutes previous i would have given her an open mouthed kiss.

    CeCe Creechen Yeah asks Jack White or Jack Black?

    theyre both excellent men and fine contributors to the grand tapestry of american music. ive seen them both in concert and they gave me great pleasure. a lessor man would say its a tie, which if course it is, but you ask me to choose, and if i were to choose just one, id go with Black because humor is a tougher trick than anything in the world. even genius.

    JP would like to know Ford or Chevy?

    another tossup, but the xbi pushes camaros and when you retire, vettes. asks who is the oddest person you have ever worked with or for? Yes, I am asking you to name names and to judge them.

    i am always the oddest ball in the building.

    tomdog wonders how do I break into show business?

    you have to kick down the door with love, passion, and creativity. the good news is show business is frequently disloyal, thus wide open to the new kid in town.

  6. Tuesday, December 4, 2012
  7. Sunday, July 29, 2012

    she said i cant make love to you, you’re too short 

    he said too short for what?

    she said if we had children and one was a boy,

    it’s very hard for short men to be successful.

    he said, we’re in hollywood, most successful men here

    are little dudes who look big on the movie screen

    or on the rock stage.

    at first i thought they were practicing lines

    because the dude wasnt even all that short.

    short isnt even the word id use.

    anyways they were hiking. i was too.

    and they went one way

    and i went the other.

  8. Tuesday, July 10, 2012

    beat the sun 


    she said if we hurry we can beat the sun


    parked on hollywood, ran up poinsettia through the hood and in the park

    prayer box

    ran ran ran up the little hills and medium ones


    and she said almost there

    sunset bros

    and there it was, waiting for us

    so i was all now what

    she said lets run back down

    big bench

    before all these nice sweet people


    turn back into



  9. Monday, February 27, 2012

    the goal of climbing the hard part of runyon 

    at the top

    is to make it to the top (pictured) without wanting to kill yourself

    or anyone else.

    pretty much everything annoys me as i make the hike up the mountain.

    dogs, bugs, people running, people who let their dogs crap on the trail

    people who pick up the dog crap but then toss the little bag on the trail

    haze, sweaty people, my earbuds, the lack of web reception.

    usually being with karisa soothes me but she had a baby shower to attend to

    so i was alone with my thoughts which werent helping so i turned on my favorite podcast

    The Minutes starring Patience from The Grates.

    she and this other young lady talk about life in a girly way with Aussie accents

    and its hard not to smile and laugh and wish that there were people like them hiking with you

    the good year blimp was doing circles below us cuz of the oscars

    the roads were closed all over cuz of the oscars

    the line at In N Out was super short cuz of the oscars

    my double double tasted super great cuz of the oscars

  10. Sunday, February 13, 2011