today was sad for Cub fans for two reasons

first the Cubs announced they would be letting Kyle Schwarber join free agency.

Schwarber the loveable pudgy catcher who was moved to outfield once Willson Contreras developed into a flashy all star.

Schwarber the heart of the team that, like a cow, had several stomachs that were also hearts.

Schwarber who once hit a ball so far that it landed ontop of a scoreboard and instead of trying to take it down, the grounds crew built a little glass case around it so it could live there forever.

then the Twitter leaked the news that Len Kasper, the mild mannered announcer who often said how much he loved WGN because unlike other outlets didn’t force he and JD to wear shirts and ties.

but then the Cubs ownership created its own Cubs network… and made the boys wear ties.

so he quit and allegedly got picked up by the enemy, the White Sox.

is life terrible?

sometimes, yes. very much so.

but sometimes life is beautiful and these two men gave us so much joy

so much life

so much hope

and i am so grateful to them for that.



i try to be good, but it’s of no good

people dont want your help

people dont want you to lead by example

people dont care what youve done in your past thats good

people only care about the demons in their own head

how can they appease them

people bow to those demons instead of to hope, to love, to possibilities

theyre gonna vote republican

theyre gonna lie about stuff to your face

theyre gonna sell you out.

when i think of leading by example i think of Pete Rose

but people dont wanna think about Pete Rose

they just wanna say he was a dumb redneck hillbilly who was a gambling addict

they just wanna say how was he leading by example

and i say i mean in baseball, the only reason you know him, the only thing he could do great

can we focus on the thing he did great?

the people dont wanna listen.

you cannot help the people.

Jesus came down here, walked around, debated the people

but the people didnt wanna listen.

he answered all the questions from his disciples.

he walked on water on a wild day with the wind whipping around and the white caps and the spray

he fed the hungry, healed the sick, all right in front of his disciples

the people who were supposed to love him the most

his squad.

and the day before he was ready to die they said, ok cool but now can you show us God?

he said but

he said but why do you think i was able to do those things

why do you think theyre about to kill me

why do you think imma let em “kill” me

and they said yeah yeah but come on youre great, but youre not God

and then we shoulda known that you cant do anything for people

maybe your mom will appreciate it.

but thats probably it.

your mom.

and thats it.

had a bad day at work yesterday

artfelt like crying but the xbi tore that out of me.

ive probably cried like twice since 1984.

1984 of course being when the cubs lost to the padres in the playoffs while they were on the precipice of getting into the world series.

the lottery is up to $215 million and every now and then i pass by the house that i last cried in and i think about winning the lottery and buying the house

and tearing it down.

and then buying the house next to it to live in and putting a big pool in the hole where the crying house once stood.

but that would be wasteful.

may as well buy more reasonably priced homes and put orphans in there.

or air bnb and give the money to orphans.

but what i really want to do is start a rehab facility like the one jeanine got cured at.

and make it an affordable one for people who arent on welfare but who are also not rich gazillionaires.

jeanine was lucky that she had been out of work for so long because she qualified for lots of assistance and government funding. when conservatives talk about how much money we give to the poor and ignore how much we allow big businesses not to pay in taxes,

they overlook the fact that many of those programs put people on the right track again.

and since we live in a world where republicans can c-block pretty much anything they want to in congress, people like me have to win the lottery all the time, which is annoying because all i want is season tickets to the cubs

and for everyone who’s sick to get better because nothing is worse than feeling miserable and wanting to cry.