busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Sunday, November 1, 2015

    theres nothing you cant do in the whole wide world, i promise 

    maui

    have i told you jeanine is sleeping on my couch? yep. actually its her couch. it’s a great couch. i’ll miss it when she goes, but everything changes and goes back again.

    this is a photo of jeanine and i in maui. i had just been fired by Sears. as the boss was doing it i said but i’m your best salesman.

    he said you are my Second best salesman.

    i said, if you think i did something wrong, Pablo does like 5-6 things wrong before he even makes his first sale.

    he said, yes but Pablo speaks Spanish and you do not.

    i was all wow. you realize i am going to Maui next week.

    he said, oh i didn’t know that. do you want me to delay this until you come back?

    i said, no… no…. No.

    he said, seriously man youre way bigger than selling tvs at Sears.

    i said, i know, and youre right, i shouldnt be working here any more.

    so Jeanine and I went to Maui and the whole time i was all, youre gonna die when you get back to Isla Vista. youre gonna be homeless in the park oogling co-eds and dancing for a buck with a broom so you can buy a 40 and drink it on the beach.

    which didnt sound so bad drinking beers on a boat to Molokini (pictured)

    and when i returned i wrote to Magnavox and told them that i hadnt ever seen one of their reps come in to our store in Santa Barbara, could i apply to be the rep.

    and they said, not only can you, but we will give you a salary and a company car.

    and my first training was with my old boss, my old co-workers, and i learned a few key phrases en Español

    for my good buddy Pablo who suddenly wasnt smiling so wide

  2. Wednesday, April 15, 2015

    took a train yesterday to ucsb to say hey to the daily nexus 

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    in the middle of the greatest school in the world is the greatest college paper in the world

    and yesterday i was invited to speak to them after their first year being primarily digital

    i took the train because the thesis of the hour was do shit differently

    and id never taken the train to ucsb before

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    when it was all over, they cracked up a special bottle of scotch, we drank for a little while

    and then i was sped off to the train station by the beautiful outgoing EIC and her personal driver

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    then i took the train home as the sun set over the pacific

    and i wondered if i hit all the themes i wanted to hit

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    i told them to work twice as hard as they did last year for the next four years.

    i told them the truth, which is, most of the people they are peers with are easily beat if they did one thing:

    produce twice as much stuff, master social media, and if you can’t do that: just use social media, omg.

    somehow the details as to how i got fired and banned from the daily nexus were divulged

    which provided some nice comic relief

    but the main point i had was just work your ass off for the years youre in college

    and the first couple years out of college and you’ll be shot out of a cannon.

    i think that sunk in.

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    it was very nice to be in that magical office again

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    and strangely, super nice to hang out downtown santa barbara for an hour.

    might have to do it again sometime.

  3. Friday, June 15, 2012

    <3 santa barbara 

    Urban Legend or just awwwwww?

    The Jesusita Fire in Santa Barbara, CA caused these two to take shelter together.

    The fawn is 3 days old and the bobcat about 3 weeks.

    The fawn came from somewhere in the fire and the bobcat from Carpentaria.

    They immediately bonded and snuggled together under a desk in the Santa Barbara County Dispatch Office for several hours.

    Animal Planet is reporting the bobcat kitten was rescued near Arnold Schwarzeneggers ranch, where it was dehydrated and near death.

    They rescued the fawn during last weeks wildfire.

    Although wild animals, especially of separate species, are never placed together due to regulations, in this emergency situation, they had no choice.

    During the mayhem of the fire, they were forced to put animals anywhere they could, since they had run out of crates large enough for the fawn.

    The kitten ran to the fawn, and it was instant bonding.

    Me? I think it’s real.

  4. Monday, August 4, 2008