nothing in here is true

  1. Friday, October 19, 2018

    when will it get better 

    when will we get there

    when will they trust us

    when will they talk to us

    when will it get better

    what did i do wrong

    who did i diss

    every kid is told ‘be yourself’

    so when i am myself the world implodes

    maybe it needs an implosion

    maybe it was gonna implode anyways

    maybe none of this has to do with me

    maybe nothing has to do with us

    the good book does not promise that it will get better

    ive been reading Job, who was truly blameless and still he got warts all over his body and face, his family died, his crops withered and his animals were stolen and when he asked his friends wtf is happening why does God hate me

    what have i done?

    his friends answered with maybe you fucked up, maybe you are whining too much right now, maybe you shouldnt question things

    when all along Job had every right to question and fret and be sad with his boils on his face and back and nose and balls and trust me, everywhere

    maybe in the whole wide world Job was the one person who had the right to say, i used to be God’s favorite and now im enemy number one, yet i was exactly the same Job as before.

    i love the bible because it confirms that life is the craziest bowl of WTF of all.

    and doesnt make sense

    and probably has nothing to do with you.

    or me

    and God doesnt hate any of us.


  2. Wednesday, October 17, 2018

    heres what will happen if you always keep it real 

    you will run into people who do not always keep it real.

    and the assumption is you are at a disadvantage.

    because say you’re playing poker and they are holding some extra cards in their lap

    arent you going to “lose” if you play by the rules, honestly?

    yes, but life is not poker. and people who do not keep it real should be respected right alongside people like you who are doing your best to be open and honest and transparent and idealistic and creative and brave.

    eventually what will happen is you will help them out of their defensive stance of occasional bullshit. but it can only happen if you do not fall for bad practices or get distracted.

    i once dated a girl who lied all the time and i was like baby what? and she was all what do you mean what. and i said im gonna tell you what, i know that this is the game people play most of the time, but that game is old and dumb and it leads to half of marriages ending in divorce and everyone cheating and kids growing up screwed up. this is just you and me. lets do it the right way. lets trust each other and talk to each other and if you feel the urge to fucking lie like a little kid then fight that urge and just omg talk to me about it and see what happens.

    and she instantly cheated on me and i cheated on her right back and we both felt terrible about it and broke up.

    but then years later she said i dont lie any more. because of you. i dont cheat on anyone. because of you. no one else taught me these things and i am so much better for it now.

    if it is a game, the game is long and the ones who “win” are the brave who excel at the fundamentals: trust, honest communication, and the desire for all of the parties to collect as many points as possible.

    always keep it real. it’s easier that way.