busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Wednesday, June 26, 2013

    my mom was Not happy with Miley Cyrus on Kimmel last night 

    which is weird because

    1) i dont watch Jimmy Kimmel every night but for some reason i was enthralled and impressed by her

    2) i didnt think my mom ever watched Kimmel

    3) i thought her appearance was way tamer than her current video for her hit single (it’s #5 on Billboard)

    anyways heres what moms texted me this morning:

    “I was embarrassed for Miley Cyrus last night on Jimmy Kimbel. Her dance was not for tv even at night on non-cable channel.”

    FCC, i hope you’re still a voracious reader of the busblog because my mom could use a better job than the one shes got right now

    and she seems like just your cup of tea.

    i dont think my mom saw the interview because in it she talked about how she and Snoop Lion are BFFs now

    and says maybe its cuz they enjoy the natural wonders

    “we’re more alike than you’d think,” Billy Ray’s daughter said.

  2. Thursday, March 21, 2013

    nardwaur continues to be the best music interviewer ever 

    so of course he brought back the best SXSW interview.

    the fact it was with Snoop Dogg Lion is just a happy accident.

    what amazes me about this is we get to see Snoop even more less-guarded than normal.

    Nardwaur is a master at helping his subjects feel relaxed. maybe its the hat.

    maybe its that he is always giving people the coolest stuff.

    maybe its because he not only knows music but loves it.

    watch how Snoop quizzes Nard as to what record label he was on more than a decade ago

    which is a tough trick because the D-O double G has been around the block, nephew.

    its almost 14 minutes of interview (which most tv and radio shows will tell you is way too long)

    and ends in the oddest/beautiful way.

    i thank a certain canadian for turning me on to this priceless gem.

  3. Tuesday, January 22, 2013
  4. Saturday, February 19, 2005

    two chicks on e came over to my house last night 

    fucked up and confused, so i let them in.

    y not

    itd been raining so i lit a fire and retrieved blankets from the basement

    and i plotted.

    one of em looked like a blue eyed dita the other looked like a dirty britney

    somehow they got a hold of way too much ecstacy and being pretty cute they were allowed to eat too much ecstacy

    the key to a strong quickstarting impressive fire is to get a fake duraflame log or three from the 99cents store. chop a log up into thick meatloaf slice sizes. slide that under a wood log and poof, fire.

    they flopped down on the couch and started spewing all this paranoid insane bullshit about how these girls were laughing at them and how these boys were talking shit about them and how terrible they looked when they looked in the mirror and i said

    baby baby baby.

    i didnt sit on the couch, i sat in my chair.

    i already have a girlfriend.

    who was out of town.

    i said heres what we’re going to do we’re not going to think of anything negative for the rest of the night.

    they said, but

    i said no, we’re going to only focus on that fire, and maybe that tv if youre lucky.

    and we looked at the fire and told happy stories that sometimes swerved into the ditch of negativity but you just pull yourself out of that ditch by saying something nice

    like, you two are looking real good over there

    with the halloween oranges and tangerine reds all flickering on your

    young

    moist

    skin

    shadows bouncing across the ceiling and the drapes

    but im taken so we talked about crepes

    which studies have shown you can do on that pill

    talk about food, that is, deflect, if you will

    but they wont

    and last night they made out right in front of me

    slightly hotter than what was on tv

    and i swear theres magic in that couch.

    the fat guy + zulieka + instapundit + wit nit