busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Wednesday, August 24, 2016

    the cincinnati zoo killed its twitter just like they killed Harambe 

    cincy zooeven though i have been doing social media for a long time, i dont fancy myself as an expert.

    sure there are some who call themselves Social Media Gurus but i have always thought that was a not-so-subtle way to belittle the profession by not equating it to what other people do in similar jobs.

    i prefer Social Media Editor or Social Media Director.

    or in my case, Prince of Darkness.

    which brings us to the Cincinnati Zoo, who you may know as the establishment that found its way into the news cycle in May of this year when a 3-year-old child ended up in the cage of a giant gorilla named Harambe.

    all the photos and videos showed the gorilla being kind to the little kid as he dragged him toward a moat. within minutes, zoo officials shot and killed the gorilla.

    the child was found to be unhurt. and the internet erupted in anger and sadness at the zoo for killing the beautiful animal who did nothing wrong.  over a half million signatures were gathered in days demanding Justice for Harambe. donations were raised for the family of the child but the family re-directed them to the zoo.

    which brings us to the Cincinnati Zoo’s Twitter account which has been the target of Harambe fans, particularly young fans who couldnt give a crap about Clinton or Trump but who care very much about the dead gorilla who was executed because of a curious three year old whose parents looked the other way for a brief second.

    over the last few months, any time the Zoo would post something on Twitter, the replies would quickly fly in to make it something about the dead ape.

    if the zoo wrote about an Otter, fans would reply by tweeting “Harambe loved otters”.

    repliesif the zoo tweeted about a weasel, the Twitterverse would reply by stating how much Harambe fucking adored all of his rodent friends.

    at one point the Zoo had enough and pleaded for the madness to end, but you can’t tell the Internet what to do any more than you can tell a gorilla not to eat a banana.

    so today the Zoo did the absolute worst thing it could do in this situation,

    they decided to delete the troublesome Twitter account.

    and the response was predictably brilliant.

    “the @CincinnatiZoo killed its Twitter, just like how they killed Harambe,” the kids tweeted.

    some are taking it a step further by writing

    “the @CincinnatiZoo just Harambed their Twitter just like how they Harambed Harambe.”

    because this world is so complex and confusing, it’s hard to really KNOW anything.

    but one thing we know for sure is Harambe loved Twitter especially the Cincinnati Zoo’s twitter account because that was the first place to feature him.

    and even though i’m no expert, even i know you don’t delete your account because people are interacting with you. Interaction is what it’s all about! if you were a sailor on a sailboat and all of a sudden there’s a lot of wind you don’t stop sailing. You sail faster! You thank the Lord for the wind and you zip around that ocean like crazy.

    what the kids were doing was loving one of your animals. Let them do it! Include them! Join in the weird mourning. Make every other post about how much Harambe loved weasels and goats and giraffes and tiger sharks.

    don’t quit.

    not even donald trump quits.

    never quit!

    did Harambe quit?!

    we were put on this crust to rock. in some cases we were put here to rock out with our cocks out. or in this case we celebrate by saying #DicksOutForHarambe

    which is Latin for #WeMissYouBub

    (Harambe loved Latin)

    so in summary, stop killing zoo animals and stop deleting your social media feeds no matter who tweets at you.

    all they’re doing is expressing love.

  2. Wednesday, May 25, 2016