nothing in here is true

  1. Sunday, December 20, 2015

    the new star wars movie is just meh and everyone knows it 

    image3 which is so disappointing because they knew everyone was gonna go. they knew the kids needed something to have them believe in magic. they knew everyone is still alive and wondering what this guy JJ can do with blacks and women and other minorities and all this new technology and dudamel and social media and ATMOS and seats that shake and gay marriage and obamacare and bath salts and a chicago cubs team thats image4poised for a dynasty.

    so what did the new star wars give us?

    it’s easier to list what it didnt give us



    a super evil villian

    an super cool story

    plot twists


    a great new soundtrack

    a deep subplot about good v evil or racism or sexism or how no matter what edge of the galaxy we are all from, deep down we’re all the same. but no, they played it safe. they figured we got a whole bunch more of these puppies lets keep the gravy train rolling. lets not upset the apple cart. let’s not create a disturbance in the Force.

    i hate when things are played safely. nothing great comes from mediocracy. plus it’s a terrible example for the kids. the kids need to know that the reason why music sucks today is because it’s so tame and uncreative. that it neither celebrates the mastery of an instrument or any real knowledge of the technology.

    same can be said for The Force Awakens.

    fortunately i only spent $6.50 because The Vista is incredible, and i didn’t have to wait out in the rain or cold like so many other true fans did.

    was there anything i loved? the desire of the audience to cheer at any uplifting moment.

    bless their hearts.


  2. Wednesday, December 16, 2015

    i wonder why disney is doing this 

    star wars is gonna make so much money.

    hateful 8 is trying its best not to make so much money.

    sometimes i wonder about the evil men do.

    how some think they have to be these super aggro winner take all alpha dogs

    and i know a few women who prefer that sort of king of the jungle hoo haw

    if anything this makes disney look terrible

    and its the only knick on star wars’ incredible launch.

    if i was disney i would not only let the hateful 8 play at the cineramadome

    but i would say it was a terrible misunderstanding

    and buy all the seats one night and give them to the troops or some shit.

    which is why people are knocking down my door to make me their ceo.

  3. Monday, May 19, 2014
  4. Sunday, May 5, 2013

    Went to the 30th anniversary of Return of the Jedi at the Egyptian 


    the Egyptian was actually built before Grauman’s Chinese in 1922 and it was such a hit they decided to build the Chinese a few blocks away in 1927


    Geoff Boucher formerly of Hero Complex now works at Entertainment Weekly, and one thing he’s great at is doing special movie deals


    yesterday was Star Wars Day so he arranged for a sweet 35mm print to be shown at the Egyptian

    we sat next to Princess Leia in the balcony


    she introduced us to this nice Jedi jentleman


    speaking of Jedi’s, because its Hollywood, Luke Skywalker showed up and told us everything

    the ceiling of the Egyptian reminded me of Jabba the Hut’s trap door, but you know, on a ceiling


    we had a great time. thanks Chris for getting the tix and Geoff Boucher for doing these cool film deals.

    oh and George Lucas for changing things up a little after American Graffiti.

  5. Sunday, November 11, 2012
  6. Thursday, October 25, 2012
  7. Tuesday, April 24, 2012

    jack whites solo record is out today 

    solo sometimes its ok to go solo.

    im sure its scary for some.

    i went solo for a while. everything was ok.

    i wasnt lookin for a wookie, but one showed up, then another.

    at first i was all, hi but this is really a one man show


    and i was like ok, how about you do some of the stuff i dont really wanna do

    and the wookie was all mmmkay

    after work when we were driving home i would get tired and i was all hey wanna drive?

    and the wookie was all hell yeah bro

    then one day the wookie wasnt around any more and i realized id grown used to him

    and i missed him.

    and then i realized we are always solo

    even when you think you have a connection to someone its still two artists

    two rockers

    two jedi knights

    from different parts of the worlds

    who respond differently day to day to different things

    and by nature Should want to be different.

    and why we will not only all die in the end,

    but die alone.

  8. Tuesday, April 3, 2012

    aries quit being a baby 

    darth is war dirty
    conniving aries.
    wanting to ram horns after that emotional roller-coaster of pisces.
    how dare you.
    all was so well. things were good.
    the weather was warming.
    not even the pollen had any affect on me.
    but you wanted to dig in.

    then lets dig.

    lets do the mystery dance.

    there are so many things that go through my head when i blog to you, aries.

    what if i say this wrong, what if i say that wrong.
    what will that person think.
    odds are that person wont think that.
    or even read it.
    thats the problem with you aries, you wanna fight at every step.
    why not walk with me over there.
    why you wanna trip me up.
    why cant we just glide over to the spot.
    why you wanna race me to the spot
    why you gotta be a spot blocker?

    i know why.
    cuz youre lonely.
    join the club whiner.
    even the most unalone people lonely.
    un lonely yr self cry baby.
    no one is forcing you to keep up the charade.
    no one is locking you up in your modern jail.
    and no one for damn sure is gonna kick down your door and save you.
    only guy with a white horse is me and mines black
    and needs an oil change.
    but first you gotta change.
    and step one is admitting that this dance is half way over
    if not worse.
    and it doesnt have to be worse aries.
    you are the first of all the signs.
    you the baby.
    but youre also rebirth.
    so start fresh.
    start funky fresh.
    and when i say funky i mean
    funk kay

  9. Tuesday, March 22, 2011