nothing in here is true

  1. Thursday, November 1, 2018

    the whisper in the darkness 

    he’ll go right in your ear and say you aint shit, you cant do that, you faked it before, sure as hell cant even fake it now

    and if anyone else in the world whispered that nonsense to you you’d say fool get out my way

    but as sonic youth and lydia lunch whisper

    youre right

    youre right

    you are right

    which is what you should say to the devil when he’s got your ear

    and the bat’s got yr tongue.

    (so when you say it say it like you mean it

    say it like) it’s the first time youve heard it

    not the millionth – that day

    deep in the gully

    down on the yonder

    i wanna i wanna i wanna i wanna

  2. Wednesday, October 24, 2018

    it’s never the hard things that are hard 

    video games teaches us this.

    it’s never the big burly boss at the end of a level that you have to beat that makes you lose all your guys

    it’s the minutiae, the little turtles popping up along your journey, the quick spiders that fall on you, the little bits of lava that you don’t pay that much attention to as you run and jump and swing


    video games are trying so hard to teach us how life is and we are always trying to stop kids from playing them. it’s crazy.

    no, junior, you cannot play this game on the easy level forever. at some point you need to up the ante. you have to learn new tricks, you have to read the book that came with it AND the books that outsiders wrote. and yes, virginia, in order to win at video games, as with life you have to try new things, alllllll the time.

    will you die trying them? yes. but you will also die not trying them.

    video games teaches us so much about death. way more than war movies or the bible or classic paintings. if you play Donkey Kong, for example, the average game lasts less than 3 minutes. so basically you are dying once every minute.

    even when you “win” at Donkey Kong (level 22), you don’t win, you die 7 seconds into the level because of “an integer overflow in its time/bonus. The game takes the level number a user is on, multiplies it by 10 and adds 40. When you reach level 22, the time/bonus number is 260, which is too large for its 8-bit 256 value register, so it resets itself to 0 and gives the remaining 4 as the time/bonus – which too short to finish the level.”

    just like Life, when you have accomplished all the things you have been told you have to achieve, they still figure out a way to kill you.

    a valuable lesson that life if fleeting. die with your boots on. and life is about the journey not the destination.

    it’s never the hard things that are hard. it’s the getting there.

  3. Friday, October 19, 2018

    why i love people 

    i have had a good life. i blame my mom.

    she taught me early on not to be afraid of strangers.

    when i was little she used to say, “say thank you to that man.” or “i better hear you say ‘Excuse me’ to that lady you just bumped in to.”

    these last few weeks i have been talking to strangers which might be my favorite thing of all. i am completely fascinated with people’s stories, how they became who they are.

    but i also love to hear them talk. like what words they use. what details they find interesting in a story. and best of all, what they try to hide from me.

    i am always surprised. i try to be honest with them. my car license plate says XBI, which most people know means that we can read your mind or know when you’re lying. even if youre wearing sunglasses. even if youre french. naturally everyone lies, but sometimes you’re sitting there and you wonder, why are they bullshitting me on this? no one cares about this. why this?

    i once had a supervisor, when i was young and asked this. he said the best thing. “when you listen to hard rock, particularily a guitar solo, theres all this distortion all around the notes. thats what these little lies are. atmosphere. flourish. a frame. don’t let it throw you.”

    i know people are scared. i know trust is a bitch for a lot of people. im sure i would be freaked out by the world a lot more if i didnt have super powers. but isnt that what religion is supposed to do for people? isn’t that what experience is supposed to bring you: trust that a + b = c?

    and yet the people who exhibit trust the most when i talk to them are kids. the ones who have zero experience, zero power, zero reason to believe. yet they do. with me at least.

    this week i have talked with a lot of interesting people. yesterday for four hours on venice beach as pretty girls and freaks paraded past us. i will be forever grateful of the experiences that i have had and i will continue to use that to fight evil and reflect goodness.

    and the best way i can do that is to never bullshit you. ever. even when the going gets tough.

  4. Friday, August 3, 2018

    men are from mars, women like penis* 

    biggest problem i have in sensual relationships is when a sobbing young lady spills her guts to me describing her problems

    i give advice.

    i’ll give you advice even if you arent crying.

    hell, i give advice on here to people who arent even seeking advice.

    bottom line: im garbage and should probably be avoided.

    but some have been unable to avoid my charms and end up in a romantic relationship with me and are bombarded with

    if i was you i woulda said this or

    you shoulda done that

    or have you tried this technique

    or in my day we woulda just done it thisaway.

    amber gets so upset when she is trying to confide in me she has thrown phones, books, and even a tire at me out of frustration.

    a long time ago Etienne would say “stop bossing me, busblog” and i didnt fully grasp what her problem was with me but now it is clearer. im terrible.

    if you tell me it hurts when i do this

    im gonna say stop doing that.

    when all they wanted was someone to listen. but i am not a listener. im a fixer. im michael cohen minus the secret recording devices. i am a problem solving machine. i enjoy fixing. i do not enjoy listening and keeping my mouth shut.

    my innards do not work that way. my brain says “this girl you love is in pain, give her the pain relief no matter what it is. be the hero. use your love gun. put a bandaid on the problem. BEGIN THE BEGUINE.”

    but i am told in more ways than one that a beguine is not being ordered. two ears two eyes and no mouth is whats being ordered. back rubs are being ordered. walks on the beach are being requested. scalp scratches. butterfly kisses. viewings of Blackish. uh huhs and oh nos.

    but i am not that robot. i have two turn tables and a microphone. if anything its a maxiphone.

    im gonna die alone.

  5. Wednesday, May 23, 2018

    you will be misunderstood, sweet angels 

    especially if you’re not a basic bitch.

    you will be unloved and ridiculed and talked about behind your back.

    especially by the ssssssswwww ssssswwwww swwwws in the shadows.

    fly with those wings girl, don’t curse them.

    soar with that courage, don’t shrink.

    yes the multitudes came out to hear Jesus

    but his disciples bailed on him when the shit went down.

    you will be alone when the pressure comes.

    sometimes you will shine

    sometimes you will stumble.

    but we are not judged by how we perform during the lightning storm

    we are known by how much light we reflect every day.

  6. Tuesday, May 15, 2018

    we’re not alone 

    ive seen em

    they look like us

    dress like us

    they even drive around

    poorly, but still.

    they say things

    and i listen.

    they write

    little notes

    scratchy like.

    other day i

    saw one of them

    scribble something

    ball it up

    toss it.

    and write more

    on a new paper.

    for some reason i looked

    at the balled up piece.

    a car drove by.

    a bird cawed.

    i unballed it

    it said

    we’re not alone.

  7. Wednesday, May 9, 2018

    there are ghosts in our minds who are stuck 

    they havent floated up to the good place and they get tangled in tree branches

    heart strings, rooftops, bangs, fishing caps

    and dreams.

    because they’re dead but haven’t risen they think the whole trip is over and ends poorly

    but they haven’t seen the other side.

    they still think Bin Laden is on the run.

    they still believe OJ is guilty.

    for all they know rock is doing perfectly well.

    we have two jobs. one is to usher the spirits to the next Mario Bros level.

    the other is to live by example.

    on the playground where i grew up in the mean streets of the suburbs

    if one kid nailed a 3 pointer then all of us started making shots way down town.

    and if another kid dunked, then we all believed we could too.

    after all, we all chewed the same gum, wore the same Cons, and kissed the same girls.

    so of course we could all dunk.

    which is why to this day you dont wanna see me driving the lane cuz yr gonna be in my poster.

    living by example is the greatest lesson Pete Rose ever gave us. if a slow, stocky, hick, with no college degree can knock more hits than any other person in baseball history

    then OF COURSE those of us with video technology, Jamesian statistics and some talent can make it to the 3,000 hit club, but alas so few do.


    because so few do.

    we are monkeys. we have to see the 100th monkey wash his hands before we do. we have to see the reality tv star ascend to the white house before we believe it can be done.

    and now we have to watch the right people do the right thing to truly drain the swamp.

    the ghosts must be removed from the machine.

    and then the machine needs to be turned into a computer chip.

    and placed in a lock box

    of love.

  8. Thursday, April 19, 2018

    imagine not being trusted for anything 

    imagine people scared of you – of YOU – even though you were the one who was victimized a long time ago

    and forced to come over here and work for free

    and who built this city and country

    and, sure has an attitude sometimes BUT EVERYONE WOULDA

    and along the way you created rock, jazz, blues and hip hop

    taught everyone how to dance

    even how to dance backwards, spin on your head,

    and line dance

    dominated every sport

    imagine people didnt trust you because you were stronger, quicker, faster

    and dare this blog say

    smarter at times.

    is there a better church than a southern gospel church

    does creativity come out of you like a broken water main

    and style, imagine every time you do something that look gets copied not just in suburban malls, but all over the world.

    and yet people fear you, mistreat you, flinch whenever the sunlight shines in your eyes, and tell you to shut the fuck up whenever wisdom comes from your mouth

    when all you are trying to do is share the majesty that is inside of you

    with everyone.

    freedom is the one thing descendants of slaves hold more dear than anything

    for good reason.

    and yet at every turn that freedom is challenged.

    i wonder why.

  9. Wednesday, April 18, 2018

    what do you want, who do you wanna be, 

    how do you want to contribute to this beautiful world

    how do you want to reflect the glory of God

    how can you honor your mother

    where will your name be written when all is said

    do you want to be loved so badly you will sell out

    would amber want to be your friend

    have you forgotten the ideals you had when you were 10

    are you following the path of Basics

    or The Exceptionals

    are you inspiring others to be better

    do you make others better

    are you a cancer or the cure

  10. Wednesday, February 28, 2018

    dear tony, what do you do about haters? 

    this is an interesting question because if you had asked me this 10, 20, or 30 years ago i would have had a different answer each time.

    at this stage of my life, i say pity them and pray for them because as i look back at those who would have fit in that bucket, most of them, a vast majority were hating

    because they were jealous.

    which is crazy because the things that they were jealous about certainly weren’t my material wealth or runway model good looks or style

    they were jealous about things that they could have had in their lives if they didnt have a gigantic stick up their ass.

    indeed i think most of the haters were sad/mad/jealz because they saw me as an extremely happy person who appeared to enjoy ridiculously good “luck”. and while it is true that i have been genuinely happy for most of my life, it wasn’t luck that did it.  it was values

    including the Golden Rule.

    i think one is happiest when one is helping others and trying to lift others to the place where they want to be.

    when i look back at my biggest accomplishments, it’s not great because i made a million bucks or hooked up with Laker Girls, it’s because i helped good people get to where they were probably gonna get anyway but i was able to help them there quicker.

    and while we did it we had a great time and made some cool art or music or news.

    a lot of sad people are only in it for themselves. they might think that theyre being a good bf/gf, employee or friend, but really their motive is all about them. therefore when Satan creeps around trying to figure out what to whisper in their ear to bum their day, he says things about them “youre fat, youre poor, youre dumb, you keep making the same mistakes, youre sloppy, youre dopey, you’re not creative, you are not even using what you learned in school, everyone hates you” and it works on them because they value Self.

    if Satan tried that baloney around someone who sincerely spends their time in a Supporter role none of that matters. who cares if you’re fat if you’re making others less hungry too. who cares if youre poor if you know that money is a fakeout and you give what you have to others, who cares if they call you dumb if you know the secret to turning someones frown upside down, who cares what they say if you know that smile is on your face for the right reason.

    haters are out there just like rain drops and rush hour traffic. it’s part of the environment and once you live a life of service as opposed to a quest for Self Aggrandizement you will discover your true place in this spiritual slam dance

    and it’s right in the center

    where it’s safest

    and most beautiful.