nothing in here is true

  1. Saturday, December 8, 2018

    blogging is hard enough 

    heres the hard thing about blogging: keeping it real. 

    we live in polite society.

    we also live among humans and humans love gossip. 

    so on your blog you can either have no friends no job no life and 100% keep it real on your amazing blog and be perez hilton – and noone wants that

    or you can say nothing in heres true but still withhold like 99% of your life

    or you can somehow tip toe around everything and attempt to make general stories that could apply to anyone. but seriously how many of us are the Brothers Grimm? 

    so when your blog cms changes and you cannot revert back safely, you feel as though you were already floating in space, but now you have been detached from the space ship. 

    its just you and your suit against the world. and you may stop breathing soon.

    which is exactly what they want you to think.

  2. Sunday, September 18, 2016

    missed my flight yesterday, thanks xbi 

    me and benthe agency thought i could do something last minute on a saturday right before i was supposed to be jetting to the airport

    and i was all, double, they were all, forget it. i was like syanarya. they were all thats not even how you spell it.

    because i am toooooo nice for my own good i did it and got the greatest uber driver to take me to the airport andelay. super cool. i asked him where he is from he said, i am from mexico my friend. i said where?

    and listen to this he told me he was nervous about trump. i said hes not gonna win. he said but im nervous and heres what im thinking, so he deports us. good. maybe thats the best thing to make mexico strong. maybe the mexicans like me in the US work hard. maybe we are smarter. maybe we have learned english. maybe we have learned skills here. maybe if we bring it all back to mexico in large amounts. maybe we can kick out the criminals who run so many things in mexico and maybe we can make it a great country. a strong country.

    i said, a better version of canada?

    he said, our food and weather are already better.

    and then we talked about tacos for the rest of the ride. being from Michoacán he was all about the carnitas. i was all, how long have you been in LA? he said, 12 years. i was all wheres the best carnitas in LA? he said, in my belly, thanks to my wife.

    mark johnson has been crashing with me. today he wanted breakfast, so i called up emilo and said we’ll be in DTLA in 25 minutes. we all met and went over to Cliftons which has great breakfast and who knew it, a jazz band. dude played flute, clarinet, sax. really good jazz too. then we wanted a beer to wash it all down so we went to the former LA Brewing Co. which is now Beirgarten LA. and who do we run into, Mr. Ben Sullivan and his fiancee and her amigos.

    as Dov would say, “that’s Los Angeles.”

  3. Monday, August 8, 2016

    keira-anne and miss 604 are in town 

    rebecca and keira

    two of my favorite BC bloggers Miss 604 and keira-anne.com have come to your favorite southern california metropolis and they really wanted to go to a Dodger game.

    why? well because all they have in vancouver is professional softball and semi-pro ping pong


    and lord knows they dont have Super Dodger Dogs


    thanks to a fascinating dude who went to camp with Rebecca, we got incredible lower level seats (for free) that were perfectly situated in the shade and yet pretty much right behind home plate


    the dude is named Preston and he travels around the nation where he creates art based on baseball stadiums. he also draws Disney princesses sporting the baseball jerseys of the park he’s at. he tweets where he is sitting and his fans come running to collect free art.


    it was a hot day on Saturday so we walked around the park to take in the sights. it was Keira’s first MLB game.


    it was also my first Dodger game of the year, so when we bought beers i was so shocked that it cost $17 a beer that it didn’t sink in until yesterday that the Dodgers were gouging their fans that horribly.

    $17 is more than i pay for a half a tank of gasoline.

    how is one beer equal to half a tank of gas?

    Magic Johnson and the Dodgers should be ashamed.


    to protest we drove over to Echo Park and drank MexiCokes and ate real tacos


    then we went to Mohawk Bend and drank actual beers


    and then we went to Tony’s Bar in DTLA and ate actual pizza next door.


    along the way we even picked up Emilio Reyes (not pictured) and had a delicious brunch.

    everyone went to Disneyland yesterday. today and tomorrow expect to see some pool party action.

  4. Monday, August 18, 2014

    ali was all lets go to the taco fest in east LA 

    ali and chris at the LA Taco Fest

    so i said chris lets go to the taco fest in east LA!

    he said si so ali go tix and we tapped up our tap cards and took the red line to the gold line

    empty beer garden

    and arrived at the 4th annual taco fest!

    this was the beer garden.


    tony pierce with modelo model

    after a few beers things started looking better but we werent there for beer

    tequila tasting

    it coulda been a mirage but magically a tequila tasting appeared in the beer tent

    but we werent there for tequila

    we were at the Taco Fest for TACOS!

    long taco fest lines

    unfortunately so were thousands of people and only 8 taco tents.

    so the lines were loco.

    at the temps were super hot.

    and the lines barely moved because apparently it takes forever to put meat on a taco

    spokesmodel with ice cream guy

    there were no lines to buy ice cream from the ringy dingy man

    or talk to the wireless spokesmodel with tube socks

    japanese white oak whisky

    but we’ve been around the block a few times and weirdly ALL of LA has tacos.

    so we split and drank some japanese white oak whiskey

    and thought about how weird it was that the only place you couldnt have a beer while you ate tacos


    so we went downtown to a place where you could play pinball and drink beer

    purple hair pinball girls

    a little place called 82 which is always packed at night, but in the day its air conditioned and lovely

    i am your father pinball guy

    your dad is even there and hes great at pinball

    ali drinking at the pinball place 82

    great call, Ali, thank you for taking us there

    ali and chris calling an audible

    so after the beers and shots and more beers Ali wanted to show us something she learned in Venice

    ali doing a handstand

    and we loved it.

  5. Saturday, May 25, 2013

    its amazing to me how many people in LA stay in their safe little neighborhoods 

    beautiful house

    and rarely take advantage of the never-ending breadth of diversity and discovery

    that this amazing metropolis has to offer

    not a through street

    sure they may convince themselves that they get out but seriously

    do we have to make an LA bingo game to show you how few squares you can scratch off

    beyond the 5 mile radius of your boring little comfort zone?

    metro building

    got invited to drink in Highland Park with ben and ken and brendan and shelley

    so i got on the metro and omg got out of the hollywood bubble. care to join me? great!

    Continue reading “its amazing to me how many people in LA stay in their safe little neighborhoods”

  6. Wednesday, November 14, 2012

    Saw my friends Matt and Emmanuelle 


    and their lovely daughter who i will just call Adorabelle

    ken and ben were there, as is law.

    But then we ate tacos.

    Which led to guacamole

    Which led margueritas

    Which led to drunken discussions

    about saving the world

    but thankfully ended

    In French fries

    Sacre Blu!

  7. Wednesday, September 26, 2012
  8. Tuesday, May 29, 2012

    Los Angeles I’m Yours interviews Instagram celeb Paul Octavious 

    Paul Octavious

    kyle fitzpatrick continues to kill it and today was a perfect example,
    an interview with someone i never heard of about things very near and dear to my heart

    How many times have you visited Los Angeles? What do you think of the city?

    I have been to L.A. about 8 to 10 times. It’s such an interesting city to me. I come from a city where I don’t have to drive and tacos are $3. Here you have to drive and tacos are $1. I guess you have to give and take.

    read and see the rest here

    photo by Paul Octavious

  9. Sunday, May 20, 2012
  10. Saturday, February 4, 2012

    woody emma and bill 


    its beautiful outside today here in hollywood.

    i think imma go to a taco truck and experience the blending of cultures

    namely korean and mexican american

    maybe thats three cultures.

    fine. ill have three tacos then por favor

    and i will name them woody emma and bill

    and i will eat them as if i was a zombie and they were brains

    mmmmmm brainnnnnns