q: did Lyin Ted live up to his nickname?

a: no. his whole damn speech was about Freedom and looking good in the eyes of your daughter who wont kiss you

and they applauded like monkeys

until they realized the whole thing was a sneaky little set up.

for him to say, we all just agreed that freedom was kewl

now im free to take a shit in your punch bowl.

god bless me and god bless america.

before he was Lyin Ted

he was Douchebag Ted

which is the Ted he’s always been

and only a great negotiator like trump

would invite him to his super sweet 16 without

a deal.

50 years from now when theyre teaching kids about the election of the first female president

i hope they leave out the part where the GOP couldnt stop shooting themselves.