nothing in here is true

  1. Wednesday, November 11, 2020

    the pete sousa movie is incredible 

    i cried.

    and it was inspiring.

    one thing i have always admired with politicians is how they can remember peoples names.

    if im ever in an office again i want to make a little game out of remembering everyones names because even though i try to be friendly with everyone, probably the greatest show of respect is to remember everyones names.

    i just get so scared that i will say mary instead of juanita or something.

    the other thing i loved about the film was Pete said he was on call 24/7 for 8 years.

    it reminded me of this hollywood agent i watched a few interviews with.

    he has a max of 30 clients and he has a simple rule with them, if he calls them and they don’t pick up or call back ASAP, it’s over between them.

    likewise, even if he’s giving an interview, his ground rule is he will always pick up or text back ASAP if they contact him.

    so even in his interviews he is checking his phone constantly.

    because of that, he’s a renowned agent and people are fighting to be repped by him if someone falls off.

    i’d like to be that reliable to someone.

    i would like the people i work with feel like they are as important to me as if obama texted them.

    why not?

    even at my busiest, really, how many phone calls did i get?

    it can be done.

  2. Monday, March 30, 2020

    today the white house health experts said 

    it’s gonna be between 100k-200k people who will die.

    on one hand that sounds like a lot, on the other, when you factor in how long it took us all to get in our damn house

    it doesnt seem like many considering how many live here.

    also, they say it’ll only take a few months.

    if it’s longer, ive got ideas. let me tell you.

    either way, and i have to say that this is an odd feeling

    i feel like i got it earlier this month but i didnt have the fever.

    for two days it was pure evil.

    nothing worked so i just stopped trying and eventually it just died.

    imagine if my fast food injected blood could help be a help for the cure

    why dont they test everyone when we get the mail every morning

    we’re home for pete sake.

    im working hard but i got time to hand over some blood for the nation

  3. Saturday, March 28, 2020
  4. Tuesday, August 13, 2019

    been watching the first few twilight zones 

    i dont think, ive ever seen the first seasons for some reason because none of these seem familiar.

    a few are trippy but not what made twilight zone iconic.

    theyve got all the pieces together but it’s not clicking yet

    because amber grew up here and has seen it all we try to figure out which studio lot they were filmed at, then look it up on google

    shes always right.

    its so fascinating how in the early 60s they were so obsessed with both cowboy westerns and going to the moon.

    one foot behind and one foot ahead.

    then there was also the matter of the devil or something like it. you dont see a lot of that these days. maybe because we’ve seen some heinous things recently.

    i read a lot of twitter. theres a lot of bad things out there. the checks and balances seem to be a bit out of wack.

    so you gotta just be one of the good stories in the feed. there are always a few.

    be one of them.


  5. Friday, March 1, 2019

    ever have a day where you do everything wrong 

    when i was a kid there were only two shows my mom gave me a hard time watching, SNL and Soap

    i was only 9 when SNL debuted and even though she told me she didn’t like me watching it, i could never make it too long into it before id fall asleep.

    a few years later Soap premiered and it had a parental warning. she’d hear it and shout, turn the channel.

    i was like Awwww Ma!

    and she would say you’re 11. you are precisely what that warning is about. i am the parent and it is warning me.

    somehow i got the idea of watching it With her and even the intro and summaries at the beginning of each episode were hilarious. but yes, they did have adult themes: death, homosexuality, divorce, aliens.

    i need to rewatch that show.

    here’s Robert Guilliaume talking about navigating the idea of playing a butler when youre a proud black man in the late 1970s

  6. Friday, February 22, 2019

    if i wasnt so lazy 

    If I wasn’t so lazy,
    I would start a GoFundMe to buy Fox News
    I’d change the name and play music videos on it all day
    hosted by VJs.
    There would be a daily dance show,
    one about Hip Hop,
    cartoons and a game show called Remote Control.
    On Fridays there would be concerts.
    First a half hour by a small band
    then a half hour by a medium sized band
    then an hour from a giant band.
    On Saturdays at midnight there would be a midnight movie.
    There’d be news but it would be about music.
    I’ll need about $5 billion, it seems.

  7. Sunday, February 3, 2019

    stupid bowl 

    adam levine, the singer of the extremely mediocre Maroon 5, could have become a rock and NFL legend today

    musicians from Rihanna to Cardi B turned down the honor of performing at halftime of the Super Bowl this year, in solidarity against the obvious collusion that has kept quarterback Colin Kaepernick out of the NFL.

    through their performance levine took off a jacket, a sweater, and then his shirt before ending the show bare chested and stupid. if under his sweater was a Kaepernick jersey, levine would have won the hearts of gazillions.

    instead neither he nor the band wanted to acknowledge the elephant in the room and they pranced around like dingos, did their tunes, and got off the stage.

    by now we should know that Maroon 5 will not save us. neither will most of the flashes in the pan that for one reason or another hang around beyond their expiration date.

    but in the realm of rock n roll, there is a beautiful history of rebellion and protest that should never be forgotten. once upon a time tattoos were the symbol of defiance and individuality. today it’s just another accessory.

    the nfl chose the right johnny bravos to keep things as least interesting as possible, but one day rock will return.

  8. Saturday, November 17, 2018

    finished the Sopranos, again 

    It took a while, but this week we concluded The Sopranos. I was re-watching it for the first time since the infamous finale. Amber was watching it for the first time.

    My biggest takeaway was how talented James Gandolfini was in the role. Such a range of emotions, many of them subtle. He was such a dominate boss and cool handed leader, but when he saw his shrink he turned into a whining baby and a terrible liar.

    It was also interesting to watch them eat. Rarely was it anything other than Italian food. But when the mobsters ate pasta they would play with it on their fork like they were airing it out to dry.

    Anthony Jr’s role could have been sussed out way more. Most of the time he was brooding, dumb, clueless, constantly running to his room or being sent to it. In actuality he was far more complex than his sister who had way more screen-time (because she was gorgeous?) than he had.

    Edie Falco was also incredible. But I wasn’t crazy about her arc either. Sure it was good that at some point she called bullshit on all of it – in fact that was the best stretch for her character. But after they reconciled she lost her interestingness.

    I had forgotten how long Junior was on the show – the whole time! And weirdly Tony’s sister didn’t annoy me as much on the re-watch as she did originally.

    My favorite character was Silvio, played by Miami Steve Van Zant. Bruce Springsteen’s BFF. The perfect Consigliere. Always there for Tony when asked, but never overstepped. Not just the voice of reason, but he lead by example, providing the anchor to the choppy waters all around them.

    I also didn’t realize what a slam The Sopranos was to the 12-Step approach to addictions. Maybe it just showed that neither AA nor NA could solve your problems if you’re surrounded by people who are constantly drinking, but I can’t recall any success stories in the series who worked the program.

    Finally, my other favorite character I had forgotten all about, Svetlana Kirilenko, the straight talking one-legged Russian home care manager who always seemed to have a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. She had some great lines, perfectly delivered by Alla Kliouka Schaffer.

    One of her best lines came in Season 4 and it perfectly summed up the entire show. Tony, who seemed to genuinely respect her, tells her that she’s inspiring because even though she lost her leg she keeps keeping on.

    Svetlana: That’s the whole purpose for people like me. To inspire people like you. So is the trouble with you Americans. You expect nothing bad ever to happen, when the rest of the World expects only bad to happen. And they’re not disappointed. You have everything! And still you complain. You lie in couches, and bitch to a psychiatrist. You’ve got too much time to think about yourselves.

    Amen, sister.

  9. Monday, October 29, 2018

    busy philipps’s book is good, you guys 

    a long time ago i dated a wonderful young woman whos bff was busy philipps’ bff and in 2005 i interviewed her on my short lived podcast and she was a delight.

    so needless to say, i have been rooting for her.

    her book is really good you guys. she tells it all. perfectly. and if you get the audio book she reads it and it just flows.

    i listen to a lot of “books on tape” because im a busy gentleman and im in my car a lot and even with all the channels that Sirius delivers, often i just want to hear someone reading a book to me.

    i prefer the ones where the author reads it themselves but sometimes those are bad too because the author isn’t great at reading.

    busy being a longtime actress is fantastic at reading and it’s her life and so it should be great. but on top of that she has weirdly interesting tales to tell about her rise to fame and the struggles she had getting there.

    for example did you know that she wrote the concept for Blades of Glory, the comedy starring Will Ferrel and Jon Hader? i didnt either. and the reason we dont know about it is a very sad story that she describes perfectly right down to someone telling her that no one cares who the writer is… and how that plays out at the hollywood premiere.

    sorry, writers.

    there were some tragic moments, some happy moments, and even if you watch her Instagram story every day like i do, there was one surprise about her relationship with her husband that i for sure didnt see coming. mama mia.

    but best of all are her impersonations. when she reads the quotes of her mom, michelle williams, and her other bff Emily BB, they are hilarious and perfect. especially how softly she delivers michelle and Emily’s words.

    the release of her book came at the perfect time because she just taped her new talk show for E! yesterday and maybe im not her demographic but i wasnt crazy about the first episode, but i am for sure crazy about the book because it is a very good look at the inside of hollywood from a person who is super honest and has done big things on tv and film and was right there for some really interesting moments.

    i wish busy all the luck on the tv show. i will continue to watch it and im sure it will get better. first shows rarely tell you what it will look like in the future. i clearly remember not being gaga over the first shows of Trevor Noah or Colbert’s Late Show and now i cant get enough of them. so maybe it’s me.

    anyway, if i ever do a podcast again i would love to interview her because the book had me asking lots of questions that didn’t really seem resolved.

  10. Wednesday, May 30, 2018

    the funny thing about twitter we pretend it’s not dangerous 

    bloggers could have told you decades ago that writing what you really feel

    in public

    is a risky proposition, especially if you are a bad person deep down.

    now im one of the few people who didn’t vote for the president who liked the new Rosanne reboot.

    sure it was cheesy at times and dumb at others, but for the most part it was funny

    and a few of the people wore Cubs stuff.

    also, Rosanne was an Uber driver, which is hilarious to me, now more than ever.

    the fact that her character was a Trump supporter, i thought was punk rock

    because the majority of Trump supporters have this weird false idea that this allegedly rich dude

    who has never done anything for working people like The Connors

    is suddenly looking out for the average American family.

    and the new Roseanne show painted that twisted image beautifully in all of its shabby chic pathetickness.

    but TV Rosie would have never known what Real Life Rosie was all about because TV Rosie didn’t use Twitter or get shoutouts from the president or did she have 685,5000 followers.

    she was just a grandma with bad knees with a decent one-liner every 2 minutes.

    Real Rosie believes in conspiracy theories, thinks racist jokes are funny, and just tweeted millions of dollars down the drain.

    which is to say nothing about her cast and crew who are now jobless.

    the funny thing about twitter is it is fire and it can burn those who don’t respect it

    and one way to respect it is to respect others.

    Rosanne is old enough to know that comparing black people to apes is like suicide by cop.

    she waved her gun around hoping to get shot and they shot her down.

    what i wish she would have done is taken that devil-may-care attitude to having her character express


    why she, who prospered during Obama, suddenly is backing the opposite of that.

    but sometimes intellectualism doesn’t reach across the aisle.

    even if it would have meant even bigger ratings.