nothing in here is true

  1. Sunday, March 12, 2017

    i torture myself 

    not with ropes or chains

    or high heeled ladies in catsuits

    and LED lit ears

    spiked boots and gloomy music

    in a dungeon

    far below the earths surface

    as they insult me with lies and fantasys

    where i did this or that

    and now i must be punished

    starting with this

    and then that.

    sooooo much of this, by the way. so much. omg. like woah.

    and then i have to clean up.


    you can always tell how easy a man has it by how soft his hands are.

    how few calluses, scratches, divots, tears.


    the affluent have scars, just not on their hands.

    but i dont torture myself that way either.

    i listen to news stations and political shows all day

    and all night.

    waiting for something juicy to come from the droning and speculation

    and history.

    but it rarely does.

    still, i wait.

  2. Saturday, March 4, 2017
  3. Monday, February 20, 2017

    my mom loves Larry Wilmore 

    but she doesn’t like swearing, so im not sure how she will feel about this.

    people were giving Bill Maher a lot of crap for having Milo on

    but if theres one great thing about Maher it’s he invites people from all walks

    Ann Coulter gets on there about once a year, so why not this terrible guy.

    actually everyone was great on this panel, the CIA guy, even the other republican guy.

    the worst Maher shows are when it’s all Dems and they all agree all night.

    clearly Fridays wasn’t like that at all

    here’s how the show started.


  4. Tuesday, February 14, 2017
  5. Sunday, November 13, 2016

    Jon Oliver put this week’s entire episode on YouTube 

    maybe it’s cuz he knows we can’t just do the same old thing any more

    and pretty much says so near the end.

    he’s a funny dude and im glad he’s around.

    but it’s hard for me to think that if Jon Stewart was still on the air

    and if Colbert had his report still, Trump winning woulda been a little harder.

    but millions of people wanted him and Trump was his own worst enemy

    so who knows, maybe some people just don’t mind when drunk people drive

    on the ice

    at night

    while also tweeting

    and looking for the right emoji.

  6. Tuesday, August 30, 2016

    kanye is right about beyonce 


    shes everything. and mtv knows it and tidal knows it and even jay-z is starting to figure it out.

    but here’s my problem with viacom. if you go to the MTV.com page of the VMA video clips

    and you click the Beyonce video of her performance from Sunday night

    a night that was tape delayed to the West for no good reason at all,

    they provide you with an embed code so you can share the video on your busblog.

    but when you use the code Viacom

    for no good reason at all

    blocks the video from being able to be played on your busblog.

    several things happen when you do things like this, Viacom

    the first is we continue in thinking that you dont know how to Internet.

    the Internet is a Web. it’s many sites all sharing in information and linking to each other so as to spread the message.

    the message on Sunday was MTV had many of the top female solo acts on one stage

    (except for Adele, Kesha, Taylor Swift, Regina Spektor, PJ Harvey, and Banks)

    the best way for that message to get spread is via social media, which blogging is still part of.

    so when you provide a code to embed the video but then block it you seem bipolar and ridiculous.

    sorta like when you stop showing videos on your music video network

    but then go right ahead and continue to have music video awards each fall like nothing has changed.

    the second thing we assume is you hate us. you dont want us to see Beyonce’s amazing performance.

    we think that because, like was mentioned earlier, you tape delayed a Sunday “live” show to the West

    and you make it hard for us to see today’s most fascinating and talented performers do her thing.

    it give us the idea, Viacom, that you dont care about art or music, all you care about is beans.

    the type you want to count. but you forget that the more beans you put out there

    the more will be seen, and the more you can count.

    but the worst thing you have done is you have played yourself.

    and you have given an excuse to pirates to steal the signal that you have failed at protecting.

    “stealing” a video transmission is easier today than ever before.

    you are building a wall across the border but it is porous and ridiculous.

    which makes you ridiculous.

    and poor us, you are poor er.

    we will see the video.

    the mountain will move.

    you will die.

    and fail to reach paradise.

    because what Saint will let you in to Heaven

    after it is discovered that for a living you tried to block Queen Bey from her fans?

    i pity you.

    i pray for you.

    you need to repent.

  7. Sunday, July 31, 2016

    what Netflix should do with Stranger Things 

    stranger things

    i like binging as much as the next guy. i order two pizzas, i fire up the little flat screen with the Ps4 and I turn on the big flat screen with the Netflix.

    then i eat, play video games, and watch an entire 8-episode season, as it was intended.

    stranger things posterbut now that Netflix has a hit on its hands with Stranger Things, I wish they would do something that goes against their very nature:

    i wish they would show next season’s episodes one week at a time.

    you know, like regular TV shows do.

    they should do it for several reasons starting with spoilers.

    imagine what would have happened with Game of Thrones if they dumped entire seasons out there all at once.

    the spoilers would spread on day one and no one would be universally shocked when their favorite character meets their doom —

    or is resurrected.

    with this plan, every week will be appointment television for those who know they want to Netflix and chill,

    so why not feed on that?

    why not give them what they want every week for certain shows like OITNB, Love, and Stranger Things, and let them dump entire seasons out there for the unproven series

    far be it from me to tell the wildly successful Netflix how to do their thing, but i didnt want Stranger Things to be over so quickly,

    but i also didn’t want some jackhole giving away how the season ended, so i watched it faster than i wanted to.

    first world problems aside, one reason im not a fan of Sugarfish is because, like binging tv series, some of us prefer to savor the beauty.

    i fully understand that one reason netflix and other outlets put out all of the shows at once is to create a big splash, but congratulations, you have a big splash, Stranger Things is a hit. now move on to phase two of your plan: weekly domination.

    bonus: since the show is a huge wet kiss to 70s/80s nostalgia i would play retro commercials before and after each episode,

    some of which are actually real.

  8. Monday, July 25, 2016
  9. Thursday, June 23, 2016

    shout out to the inventors of periscope 

    periscope founderswhen kayvon beykpour and joe bernstein invented periscope, the simple way to record and stream video through a mobile device,

    they probably never thought that their little app would find its way in the Well of the House of Representatives so lawmakers could document their peaceful protest after that brave Republican Paul Ryan shut down the C-SPAN cameras

    because he’s such a great leader

    and should probably be president of the united states.

    a few years ago periscope was acquired by Twitter which was a match made in digital Heaven because periscope piggybacks perfectly on twitter, alerting all of your twitter followers that you are broadcasting

    which is what happened yesterday when a few of the Congresspeople realized that they could bypass the Speaker Ryan bravery by simply broadcasting themselves

    from their phones.

    i dont know why kayvon beykpour and joe bernstein arent doing a victory lap around tv shows right now

    their invention helped make the #holdthefloor protest something that people around the world could see

    even the courageous Paul Ryan who probably watched it on CSPAN

    (who, once their cameras were shut off by the GOP, linked up to the periscope feed and broadcasted that).

    bros deserve some props today.

    the busblog salutes them.

  10. Sunday, June 19, 2016