nothing in here is true

  1. Sunday, November 13, 2016

    Jon Oliver put this week’s entire episode on YouTube 

    maybe it’s cuz he knows we can’t just do the same old thing any more

    and pretty much says so near the end.

    he’s a funny dude and im glad he’s around.

    but it’s hard for me to think that if Jon Stewart was still on the air

    and if Colbert had his report still, Trump winning woulda been a little harder.

    but millions of people wanted him and Trump was his own worst enemy

    so who knows, maybe some people just don’t mind when drunk people drive

    on the ice

    at night

    while also tweeting

    and looking for the right emoji.

  2. Tuesday, August 30, 2016

    kanye is right about beyonce 


    shes everything. and mtv knows it and tidal knows it and even jay-z is starting to figure it out.

    but here’s my problem with viacom. if you go to the MTV.com page of the VMA video clips

    and you click the Beyonce video of her performance from Sunday night

    a night that was tape delayed to the West for no good reason at all,

    they provide you with an embed code so you can share the video on your busblog.

    but when you use the code Viacom

    for no good reason at all

    blocks the video from being able to be played on your busblog.

    several things happen when you do things like this, Viacom

    the first is we continue in thinking that you dont know how to Internet.

    the Internet is a Web. it’s many sites all sharing in information and linking to each other so as to spread the message.

    the message on Sunday was MTV had many of the top female solo acts on one stage

    (except for Adele, Kesha, Taylor Swift, Regina Spektor, PJ Harvey, and Banks)

    the best way for that message to get spread is via social media, which blogging is still part of.

    so when you provide a code to embed the video but then block it you seem bipolar and ridiculous.

    sorta like when you stop showing videos on your music video network

    but then go right ahead and continue to have music video awards each fall like nothing has changed.

    the second thing we assume is you hate us. you dont want us to see Beyonce’s amazing performance.

    we think that because, like was mentioned earlier, you tape delayed a Sunday “live” show to the West

    and you make it hard for us to see today’s most fascinating and talented performers do her thing.

    it give us the idea, Viacom, that you dont care about art or music, all you care about is beans.

    the type you want to count. but you forget that the more beans you put out there

    the more will be seen, and the more you can count.

    but the worst thing you have done is you have played yourself.

    and you have given an excuse to pirates to steal the signal that you have failed at protecting.

    “stealing” a video transmission is easier today than ever before.

    you are building a wall across the border but it is porous and ridiculous.

    which makes you ridiculous.

    and poor us, you are poor er.

    we will see the video.

    the mountain will move.

    you will die.

    and fail to reach paradise.

    because what Saint will let you in to Heaven

    after it is discovered that for a living you tried to block Queen Bey from her fans?

    i pity you.

    i pray for you.

    you need to repent.

  3. Sunday, July 31, 2016

    what Netflix should do with Stranger Things 

    stranger things

    i like binging as much as the next guy. i order two pizzas, i fire up the little flat screen with the Ps4 and I turn on the big flat screen with the Netflix.

    then i eat, play video games, and watch an entire 8-episode season, as it was intended.

    stranger things posterbut now that Netflix has a hit on its hands with Stranger Things, I wish they would do something that goes against their very nature:

    i wish they would show next season’s episodes one week at a time.

    you know, like regular TV shows do.

    they should do it for several reasons starting with spoilers.

    imagine what would have happened with Game of Thrones if they dumped entire seasons out there all at once.

    the spoilers would spread on day one and no one would be universally shocked when their favorite character meets their doom —

    or is resurrected.

    with this plan, every week will be appointment television for those who know they want to Netflix and chill,

    so why not feed on that?

    why not give them what they want every week for certain shows like OITNB, Love, and Stranger Things, and let them dump entire seasons out there for the unproven series

    far be it from me to tell the wildly successful Netflix how to do their thing, but i didnt want Stranger Things to be over so quickly,

    but i also didn’t want some jackhole giving away how the season ended, so i watched it faster than i wanted to.

    first world problems aside, one reason im not a fan of Sugarfish is because, like binging tv series, some of us prefer to savor the beauty.

    i fully understand that one reason netflix and other outlets put out all of the shows at once is to create a big splash, but congratulations, you have a big splash, Stranger Things is a hit. now move on to phase two of your plan: weekly domination.

    bonus: since the show is a huge wet kiss to 70s/80s nostalgia i would play retro commercials before and after each episode,

    some of which are actually real.

  4. Monday, July 25, 2016
  5. Thursday, June 23, 2016

    shout out to the inventors of periscope 

    periscope founderswhen kayvon beykpour and joe bernstein invented periscope, the simple way to record and stream video through a mobile device,

    they probably never thought that their little app would find its way in the Well of the House of Representatives so lawmakers could document their peaceful protest after that brave Republican Paul Ryan shut down the C-SPAN cameras

    because he’s such a great leader

    and should probably be president of the united states.

    a few years ago periscope was acquired by Twitter which was a match made in digital Heaven because periscope piggybacks perfectly on twitter, alerting all of your twitter followers that you are broadcasting

    which is what happened yesterday when a few of the Congresspeople realized that they could bypass the Speaker Ryan bravery by simply broadcasting themselves

    from their phones.

    i dont know why kayvon beykpour and joe bernstein arent doing a victory lap around tv shows right now

    their invention helped make the #holdthefloor protest something that people around the world could see

    even the courageous Paul Ryan who probably watched it on CSPAN

    (who, once their cameras were shut off by the GOP, linked up to the periscope feed and broadcasted that).

    bros deserve some props today.

    the busblog salutes them.

  6. Sunday, June 19, 2016
  7. Monday, June 13, 2016

    Wow the ESPN Prez sure loves talking to the NYT about Bill Simmons 

    bill simmonsIt sure seemed to anyone with two ears that Bill Simmons was fired from ESPN because on his podcast (!) he called NFL commissioner Roger Goodell a liar which ruffled the feathers of The Sports Leader because they are in bed with the Shield.

    But today ESPN’s president tells The New York Times that it wasn’t about the commish, instead, “I alone made the decision, and it had nothing to do with his comments about the commissioner. I severed our relationship with Bill because of his repeated lack of respect for this company and, more importantly, the people who work here.”

    Which also sounds like a lie because if you are pissed at the creator of Grantland and his alleged lack of respect for the people there, why would you shutter the beloved site and make all those people instantly unemployed due to your scorched Earth style of management?

    Further, why would you add gasoline to this fire a week before Bill’s new HBO show is about to come out? All you’re doing is giving him free pub and making him look like the David to your Goliath. Super fascinating to me how thin skinned those at the tippy top can be when talent who has earned an audience based on their opinions actually give opinions.

    Always remember: the president of ESPN didn’t even have the guts to tell Simmons that he was fired in person on the phone or via email. Instead he told the NYT and Simmons found out through Twitter.

    In summary: The commissioner of football was lying about the Ray Rice video and now it looks like the president of ESPN is totally omg wtf lying about why he shitcanned Bill Simmons and spitefully ended the beloved Grantland.

  8. Wednesday, May 25, 2016
  9. Wednesday, May 18, 2016

    puke and rally 

    puke and rallymegyn kelly was on tv last night

    talking to mr donald j trump,

    (the billionaire)

    and he was fantastic.

    he has learned how to show a tad of humility

    admit theres a scintilla

    of a possibility

    that he could have done things differently

    at one little moment in the past.

    (or at least he’s better at pretending.)

    but the lesson that ive learned from him is the practice of puke and rally.

    no matter what happens

    no matter what he does or says

    if he stumbles, he, like taylor swift

    shakes it off.

    he pukes and then rallies.

    he told megyn that if he did it any other way he probably wouldnt be as successful as he has become.

    as she said, he’s one step away from being president.

    she said it in a weird, fangirl groupie way, and it isn’t true, trump doesnt stand a chance, but i guess in some weird omg annnnything can happen way it’s true.

    like how im only 6 numbers away from being a multi millionaire.

    and just like how every time i lose at the lottery, i just rip up the ticket and go on with my day,

    when trump realizes that he was wrong to say All Mexicans are here to rob and rape and steal

    or how he encouraged people at his rally to be violent to others

    he doesn’t obsess over it, like a human would.

    he gets it out of his system

    and moves on.

    i think theres a life lesson in there for all of us.

    additionally, no one has to hold trumps hair when he pukes.

    so hes got that going for him.

  10. Thursday, March 10, 2016

    i was driving home from work last night minding my own business 

    the poorly educatedlistening to the results of the elections coming in.

    and they cut to Donald Trump making a victory speech because he had just won some big speech.

    and he went on and on and on and there werent any commercials or interruptions

    it was just the GOP frontrunner talking.

    and talking.

    and it dawned on me that CNN, which I was listening to, is in the ratings business. and as long as people were tuned in they were happy.

    and things like debates and chat shows before and after the debates and candidates like Donald Trump are low-budget easy-to-produce television (and radio)

    which, as we are seeing, can bring in much bigger ratings than anything they’ve ever produced before.

    sorry, Anthony Bourdin.

    but then it occurred to me that maybe airing as much Donald Trump as possible for as many ratings as possible might not be the best thing for the country, nor is it the most balanced or responsible journalism. arent there others in this race? shouldnt the public know just as much as the other names on the ballot?

    or is this all about ratings, which means this is all about money, which means once again heres an organization who cares far more about the bottom line than

    silly things like the environment


    alternative energies

    reproductive rights

    and all of the things that donald trump doesnt talk about because those things fly right over the heads of the people who are tuning into him insult the height and energy levels of his opponents?

    in a perfect world all of the politicians would get the same amount of air time. but sadly it seems like many of these cable news operations has no interest in that sort of perfect world.

    it seems their perfect world involves the yuuuugest ratings they could ever get no matter what.

    so i turned off the radio, pulled over, and bought 3 double doubles. because who cares. right?