nothing in here is true

  1. Wednesday, October 14, 2009

    omg two of my favorite bands are playing on my birthday 

    super close to my house


    THE GRATES 10p

    from the Silverlake Lounge website:

    “Those Darlins, country-punk pals from Murfreesboro, Tenn., have a comically leering sexuality and an abandon that seems scarce these days. Their punk hootenanny sensibility reminds us that you don’t have to act serious to be taken seriously.” – New York Times

    Informed by Nashville and its indie, pop, and country scenes- aware of the twisted tradition of Appalachian roots music that stretches back beyond the Carter Family, Those Darlins are, nevertheless, not of Nashville. They write their own songs, record in NYC with producer Jeff Curtin (Vampire Weekend), and talk about female empowerment, music history, and egalitarian ideals of performance and business. And, in practice, they are rockers.

    They’re related to The Shaggs, The Slits, Huggy Bear, Sleater-Kinney, Kleenex and a whole bunch of other stuff; The Grates are very much a pop band; like the best of soul, riot grrl and garage rock dusted down in glitter and sent out to party. “full of false endings, stuttered energy and splintered melodies…It has the awkward quirkiness of Deerhoof, yet the power and might of The Pixies…. A happily scattered and free-spirited trio playing catchy lo-fi rock pop stamped with lead singer Patience’s wonderfully unhinged vocals.” – Rolling Stone

    “Think Ramones bouncing off their practice room walls on pogo-sticks… “- NME

  2. Tuesday, July 28, 2009
  3. Thursday, April 2, 2009

    australia quoted me in regards to the grates 

    from a piece called “The Grates win hearts in US”, ABC news in aussieland wrote about their local band’s trip out to america, an excerpt:

    The Grates are three-time SXSW veterans, and their live show, which features ribbon-twirling and colourful costumes, ensures they stand out among the crowd.

    Their 2006 debut album, Gravity Won’t Get You Down, was released in the US, but last year’s sophomore album, Teeth Lost, Hearts Won, is yet to secure a US deal.

    After their past disappointments, the band returned to the US with no expectations, and has been thrilled with the response.

    The LA Times declared: “The Grates no doubt will soon be laughing their way to the bank, for if the world embraced the Ting Tings last year, Patience & Co are sure to be everyone’s new darlings any day now”.

    “It’s been super encouraging actually, because we worked so hard with the first album that we put out over here, and that didn’t really work out with our record label, so that was a little bit of a kick in the guts,” Hodgson said.

    patience told me that she broke guitarist john patterson’s iphone, so i didnt expect to see their disneyland pics so soon. in their tumblr blog they have pics from their trip out here. including a visit to Poquito Mas, and the video above of Burn Bridges, which was their last tune at the spaceland show on monday. amateur video directors out there take note of the vid – when in doubt ignore the zoom feature.

  4. Tuesday, March 31, 2009

    grates were on fire last night 

    being monday spaceland was packed because admission was free and there were two, count em two big bands fixin to play: nico stai and australias the grates.

    grates took the stage first at 10pm which was a huge mistake for nico because Patience has a way of stealing a crowd and making you forget that there are any other bands in existence.

    she woos the boys she woos the girls, she dances like a freak with ants in her pants, she smiles she jokes she is clearly having the most fun of anyone in the house and that joy is contagious.

    silver lake and particularly Spaceland can come across as too-cool-for-school and judgmental and jaded and for the first half of the 45 minute set the crowd just stood there and watched. they may have had smiles on their faces but they didnt bop their heads they didnt dance they just witnessed their own baptism.

    it wasnt until near the end of the set did they realize “oh, theyre good and these songs are instantly approachable and easy to get. fine, we’ll allow ourselves to party” and thats when the dance party started.

    which was too bad for nico and his band of jersey boys because when a crowd peaks at 10:45pm on a school night and you dont hit the stage till 11:15 then once again the grates have won.

    we know this in part because the grates’ merch sold out (except for Mens shirts, size small, perfect for the echo park hipster on your twitter feed) and there were plenty of crud from everyone else.

    because i got there a tad late i got to see the entirety of spaceland entranced by Patience and it took a while to wend my way into the main rock area and then a few more song to get to the front row. no one was moving, no one was leaving to get beers, and no one was peeing. they all wanted to see what magic was inside this trio (plus their pal on keyboards).

    that mystery remains but you can investigate it on their US release Gravity Wont Get You High, and their import only (get it on ebay) Teeth Lost, Hearts Won.

    word from the band is they will return to the states in the summer so get ready to find a new band to totally love.

  5. Tuesday, March 24, 2009

    lessons learned from sxsw 

    #1 i am old. and not in a good way. old is supposed to mean wise and classy and debonaire. i cant even spell debonaire. im just old.

    there used to be a time when i could wake up at 9:30am and talk and rock and dance and drink and walk around and run around and flirt and eat and argue and enjoy the good music and write about it on multiple platforms. and yes i could do it eight days straight.

    tonight i sit here in my dull dough and my back aches and my head aches and im wheezing and ive been recovering for THREE DAYS. i didnt even drink that much! the good book suggests “dont drink till youre drunk.” i followed that advice on every night except for the one where janes addiction played the playboy party sponsored by our old bff jack daniels. and even that night i was able to walk home at 3am with no huge probs.

    but man am i paying for it now.

    i know theres this thing called sxsars but im indestructible. and i know i got sick for months three years ago when i was at sxsw and made out with some texas roller girls. but thats acceptable. being sick now simply because ive hit the wall isnt acceptable at all. its disturbing. and sad.

    lesson #2. i see too many old bands.

    my man todd taught me a lot on the trip. he taught me that hes a great writer, a great editor, and that the beauty of an event like sxsw is the opportunity to discover new acts.

    yes its tempting to see the best guitarist in rock, j mascis, twice while hes fronting the original lineup of one of the best bands ever, dinosaur jr., but with 1,899 other bands in town wouldnt it have been more prudent to try to find the next j mascis? indeed isnt that sorta my job?

    metallica was fine to see because i had never seen them before, but ive seen janes addiction a half dozen times, and even though theyre not new ive seen the grates almost that many times too. why wasnt i learning about more new groups like Tia Carerra and Valient Thorr? i truly loved seeing both of those bands for the first time. what was i thinking?

    i wasnt, cuz when youre old you do things that lead to comfort. you book too-expensive hotels (that end up biting you in the ass), you fly in a cheerleader (because she has a perfect ass) instead of meeting new babes, you order room service instead of discovering new haunts, and you play everything safe safe safe.

    when did i become so safe? what made me this way? was all my courage in my afro? if i cant blame myself who can i blame? bush was impeached – we now only have ourselves to point the finger at.

    lesson #3. when the Lord said work six days and rest on the seventh he wasnt kidding.

    which might be one reason he had moses chisel it in stone. not once did i use the hot tub. not once did i tour greater austin. not once did i go visit my friend ken’s new apartment or even see the very pregnant leah muse. those are the things you do on your day off. those are the things you do when you read the good book and follow the rules.
    sickness doesnt hit you when you give your senses a break.

    lesson #4. i have no business going to coachella.

    i dont deserve it.

    lesson #5. i probably shouldnt go to sxsw 2010.

    with the money i spent this year, i could instead go to a club like spaceland, the echo, the viper room, or the echoplex twice a week, and bring a date, and buy beers and eat tacos with her afterwards and enjoy full sets from the headliners and opening acts -and i wont die of sxsars – and at the end of the year i would be able to see over 100 bands. new bands. small bands. up n comers. creative geniuses. and yes, i bet at the end of the year i would have “discovered” the next j mascis.

    lessone #6. they dont teach you crap in high school.

    lesson #7. i have lost my mojo.

    and my personal style, and my inner lifecoach, and my individuality. i have become just like every other suburban neverwas. everyone knows stay away from stubbs at sx. everyone knows if you go there twice youre a douche who really isnt all that interested in new music. how many times did i go there last week, 2x. how many times did i go to japan nite? zero-san. i have sold out, i have let my nation down, my ghettocard deserves to be revoked.

    lesson #8. stay cool with your exes.

    the only thing i did right this whole trip was have one exgf drive me to the airport and have another one pick me up. start with loveliness and return to it. but they deserve better in their lives than to shuttle my black ass around. i should beg forgiveness.

    lesson #9. i need to buy a serious camera.

    the truth of the matter is im not always going to have the incredible access to all of the worlds coolest and most amazing people. likewise, i wont always be able to meet celebrities and rockstars all the time either. instead of music festivals i should get a professional camera and click that bad boy as often as possible. anything else is selfishness.

    i will get better. i swear to you.

    but apparently right now my body is in fullblown revolt as it cant believe that it went to the mecca of new rock

    and all it got was this tshirt.

    this is why the terrorists hate us. this is why the caged bird groans. this is not a love song.

  6. Saturday, March 21, 2009

    ive been here eight days 

    im exhausted. i just realized my super exclusiveo video interviewo with the grates had a smear on the lens. and i didnt have a backup memory card so i couldnt ask more questions.

    i really dont wanna write about metallica or dinosaur jr. or this horrible japanese act i just saw.

    but i have to. this is where the rubber meets the road. this is where they separate the men from the boys. but boy am tired.

    i just wanna take a long hot shower, sleep in my own bed. eat my favorite foods. and watch my own tv.

    if theres one thing thats grossing me out these days its remote controls in hotel rooms. do maids even clean those? and where are peoples hands when theyre in hotel rooms? whats going on there? then they touch the remote?

    ive learned a lot of things on this trip. ive seen a lot of people fighting and crying. couples mostly. people who should be in love while theyre out here but instead theyre yelling and arguing.

    i learned that relationships are like shoes.

    i have these super cool converse one stars. theyre low top, they look good, they feel good. for very short distances. like if i was going to drive to a show and park and walk a block and stand at the show and walk around the place a few times, then drive home, theyre perfect.

    i also have these dg basketball shoes. they dont look cool. theyre high tops, theyre dirty, they slip on they slip off. i got them with my first paycheck from Look Look.

    what i realized on this trip is there are some girls that are fine for short periods. they look hot or cute but, no fault of their own, they are not long time investments.

    then there are those who are way better in the long run.

    maybe i had just the right amount of vodka in my red bull last night but when miss austin was holding my hand as we past one crying couple after another i whispered their problem is they talk to each other.

    but it was too loud she couldnt hear me.

    so i esped.

    lets not talk till we say bye at the airport.

    she said you took the words right outta my head.

  7. Saturday, April 19, 2008

    the grates are one of my all time favorite bands 

    right now theyre blogging as theyre recording their new record

    and because im addicted to them and their blog i noticed that theyre selling a live dvd

    so i got it. and even though it was sent all the way from jolly olde australia, it got to me in pretty much no time.

    the song above, “rock boys”, is from the dvd in question “til death do us part

    needless to say i got it this afternoon and ive already watched it twice

    i love the singer, patience, and id marry her right this second if i had the chance

    3/24/06 – review of their show at SXSW
    7/5/06 – review of their show at Spaceland
    9/5/06 review of their previous album Gravity Wont Get You Down
    11/14/06 review of their november show at Spaceland and a pic of Kira meeting Patience

  8. Wednesday, March 21, 2007

    sxsw didnt knock me down 

    post office sxsw

    like it did some others. if anything it charged me up. you realize how lazy you are when you see 10 bands in one night, while walking, while drinking, while bearly eating.

    since Lent started i have seemed to have lost about 8 pounds of pure fast food. but im fucking up and drinking regular coke but you only die once so whatevers.

    one of the things that i learned in austin was i can party for 11 hours straight and still write more than most people. the only website that came close to our coverage was pitchfork who had four people. just wait till next year pitchfork. just wait.

    i missed a lot of shows that i shoulda seen, and i shoulda stayed a day later, but on my flight home i got to fly with the hottest chick at e! when i was there. now shes a vj for a website and gets to interview all these bands and hook up with rockstars.

    trust me the voice in my head that i call the devil was going crazy “youre boring her. you have no good stories. you have no good ideas about music. youre so dull. look shes even taller than you.”

    but thanks to sxsw, especially the part where everyone was happy to meet me, namely the interactive part, helped massage the ego of the other voice in my head that i call the angels, and the angels were all, “youre black youre rich and youre well educated.” the angels always love to throw one piece of bs in there to make me feel better, and often times its good to just pretend to be what they say you are.

    we had hours of great conversation and it turns out that shes totally into the grates as much as i am.

    jeanine picked me up and drove me home and there were so many packages waiting for me and it was so weird to be home, it was so weird not to be buzzed, it was so weird to have clean clothes to slip into, food to break into, legs to slip next to, rock to get high to.

    yesterday i wrote that no way could that festival get better, but i was wrong, it totally could get better if you were there next time.

    and then i made a photo essay.

    and then i told the ho to go but the ho didnt wanna go so she pretended to fall asleep and i pretended to fart and she pretended to laugh

    and i pretended to be mad and she pretended to be bad and i pretended to whip that ass with my obey belt and she pretended that it hurt but her erogenous zones were saying something entirely different.

    and then i pretended to be suave and walked over to the jukebox and pretended that i totally didnt have an itunes playlist all set up just incase a teenage runaway was pretending not to love being in my room with its christmas lights twinkling, and then i ate her soul.

  9. Friday, March 17, 2006

    sxsw. day sin. asstin 

    im not a good person. thats been astablished. i rush to jusdgements i criticize vehemently.l i dont spell cueck i dont grammar check i dont update as much as i used to . i dont ewrite as much as i used to. my early stuff was so much better. and even that was a rip off of someone. and now ive resigned myself to the easiest form of writing of all times. the drunk blog. i could get used to this. so could my liver. my whole body actiually is all dude this is so isla vista this si so tony del playa. this is so right on . this is what blogging is all about.

    but my body is wrong. my head is wrong. my drugs are wrong. my post nasal drip is gone. my round the way girl is gone. my neighbors are goone. my roommate is gone. its all wrong. i wronged a girl today in the room. she swore she liked it but how can you trust girls you meet at a place called the blind pig who let you take them back to the room so she can show you what she learned when she used to be a dancer.

    im no good im no good im no good baby im no good. here i am at the my chemical romance after party. here i am leading the way. here i am at the red bull house. here i am sorta drunk blogging but really only buzzed blogging because ive only had three xtra strojng screwdrivers. and its only 11pm. i might just take a cab back to 6th street so i can see J Mascis’s new joint Witch.

    im sorry dudes i didnt see the Drive By truckers. i didnt see so many bands. but i did see this all girl metal band from the OC called pretty in stereo who i fell in love with. i did see the Neighborhood who made me stop walking down the street with m’lady whose irish who said kiss me im irish and i was all blow me im black and she pretty much did right there. anyways the neighborhood reminded me of the replacements so i stopped with her and we danced the dance of two drunkards about to play show and smell.

    oh and i saw the grates. ys they were great. so cute too. if bjork wasnt so gd arty and just had fun.

    oh and i saw djengue fever the other night. also adorable. if bjork was vietnamese and crazier.

    ive never wanted to be anyone else but you. ive never been happyt in my hat. ive never been satisfied. im never wrong. things are never right. but i cant believe how well this benadryl d is. i had to get it from behind the counter and the ladies made me sign a form. the ladies made me show id. the ladies made me write down my address.

    1060 w. addison, chicago, il

    so the ceo of buzznet said that he didnt care that there were 1300 bands at sxsw, that unless i got pictures of my chemical romance who are one of the biggest draws to buzznet with one of the best communities on our site, that the trip here was worthless and similarily if i got good pics then i was the man and this whole trip was worth twice the price.

    so i got to the place just in time. the place being emos. the place being anywhere you are. the place being anywhere all the cool kids are. the place being the only place where i could stand dead center on a tiny rise above everyone and right in front of a fan cuz it was hot in there. and sometimes the lord looks right down on you and blesses you and says tony yr the man and tells you tony i know sometimes you think youre on the wrong path and sometimkes you are on the wrong path fuckr but im gonna thrwo you some right down the middle and let the kids know why youre here.

    anhd after 343 mcr pictures i have a feeling that when i get back to LA those fuckrs are gonna give me a few days off cuz ive been working long long hours pimpin and bustin and listening to great music and showing people what buzznets about and telling people no i wont take your big money new job that im happy where i am. which is writing you on the busblog and sheparding the chosen ones in buzznet.

    and tomorrow i will upload more mcr pics as well as a lot from the roller derby but right now i hafta dance with this chick who i thought only liked babes but whaddya know. sometimes the rules change right there midstream and you can either rage against the smoke machine or begin the beguine.

    i love you for pot smokeing.

    your chemical rain dance.

    and heres some more
    for my irish friends here on st paddys day

    raspberry + some of my mcr pics + mc browns video of The Go Team + the pants’ pics of gogogo bordello