nothing in here is true

  1. Friday, May 27, 2011

    opened my chakra on a triple vortex with a yogi from the bronx 

    truest found the most amazing yogi, her name is johanna and she was so wonderful

    a no nonsense italian american catholic phd from new york who moved here 17 years ago

    and not only knows her stuff but lives it.

    she taught us to admire the juniper trees and how to offer it gifts

    she placed us on the bell rock vortex which is situated between the airport and cathedral vortexes.

    she mediated with us, cleared us, and then had us do yoga on this beautiful flat rock

    which we laid on and hugged and it hugged us back.

    the best was the wind. she explained that the wind swirls sometimes when you talk and the natives would say

    thats the spirits saying yeah, we totally agree.

    she told us that in the time of the indians, the tribes would come to sedona from all over because they knew this place was special

    and they called the mountains the wigwams of the great spirits.

    she taught us how to anoint each other and stepped away so we could take our time acknowledging each other

    pointing out several things we loved about each other and what we want in our future.

    because we’re nerds we laughed a bit and even welled up a tad.

    it was sweet, and smelled nice.

    we were out there for three hours just learning about nature and God and the amazing land we havent been able to leave.

    after we ate great sushi looking out at the mountains

    then we got a sweet hotel room for $30 because we agreed to go through a 90 minute time share pitch later today

    normally i avoid those things, but after communing with the Good Lord, i can take on anything.

  2. Thursday, May 26, 2011

    guess whos back in sedona 

    truest and i had a great afternoon yesterday.

    after we ate breakfast at a diner specializing in celebrating ufos, we went hiking at a creek recommended by a local

    it was called grasshopper point and it was half way between sedona proper and Slide Rock where everyone else goes

    grasshopper point, however, has five secret waterfalls

    lots of swimming, hiking, fishing and the park ranger told us that it contains the friendliest skunks

    who also like to swim with you.

    the hiking was easy until we got to the dry river parts where there were lots of river rock to walk on,

    but even that was fine.

    schools out so some local kids had made it out to where there were some “cliff” diving opportunities

    and one unfortunate man child kept his shirt on to hide his man boobs

    but any trip to a wet tshirt celebration knows the folly of the moisturized white tshirt

    truest and i searched and were successful in finding a secluded spot

    that just happened to contain three of the secret water falls.

    one of us dove in head first and re-emerged with a shout. apparently the water was in the low 50s.

    at grasshopper point

    the other took a lot of pictures with his fancy camera and will upload all of them in a future date and bore the world then.

    anyways the hike swim and climb through the red rocks was inspiring and soothing.

    we thanked the park ranger on our way out and headed back to flagstaff with stops at the dairy queen

    and later chipotle when i learned the truest had never been there.

    in flagstaff we plotted our next adventure. the grand canyon seemed the likely next victim since it was about 2 hours away

    but when we thought about it, everything that weird crack in the ground had, sedona had in spades, just 30 minutes away

    so we doubled back and used price line to get a beautiful room at the hilton on the outskirts of town.

    once at the front desk i queried if an upgrade was available at a nominal price and for $30 more we got a king suite with fireplace

    private balcony, and all the fixins. we dined at the outdoor hotel restaurant, drank, and went to bed early

    because today, in mere minutes, we will be taking a guided tour of one of the vortexes we hadnt yet visited

    where we will be doing some guided mediations, spiritual yoga, and hiking for a few hours.

    the lady warned that its heavy on the “woo woo” and the truest said, its ok we’re from california.

  3. Wednesday, May 25, 2011

    ron paul says howdy 

    we went to this place built on the side of a mountain. saw an old prospector type. i said hi, he said howdy.


    the town was called Jerome which was the last name of the man who financed the copper mine.

    when the copper dried up, so did the town and it turned into a ghost town.

    they put a J on the side of the mountain so you’d know how to get there.

    on the other side of the mountain is Prescott

    but youre not supposed to call it Press Scott

    youre supposed to call it Presskit

    thats what amber our waitress said psychically.

    she said she doesnt like to come to Sedona cuz the cops give her $800 speeding tickets.

    “here in Jerome, the cops are cool, they’ll just say slow it down amber.” she said.

    and then she goes to Prescott to drink cuz all the old buildings there turned into wild west saloons.

    <3 presskit <3 amber <3 jerome <3 sedona

    but now we have to see a man about a grand canyon.

  4. Tuesday, May 24, 2011

    went to two vortexes today 

    also hiked. saw a ghost town that came back to life.

    and went to walmart.

    i saw a bunny disguised as a jackrabbit take a cat nap as a hawk floated four hundred yards above it.

    it was catching a gust that allowed him to hover perfectly in the sky like a hummingbird.

    while driving from one hiking spot to another we almost hit a road runner who had the perfect posture.

    didnt have breakfast. had bbq in a town called jerome, served by a teen named amber.

    took a picture ten seconds after i woke up this morn.

    posted it on this post.

    if i ever forget im the luckiest man around, i just come to the busblawg.

    one of the vortexes was near this temple.

    but if you see near the left, the alter has fallen and was broken.

    the sign says barry goldwater helped create the thing.

    but the secret about this vortex is its a reverse vortex

    meaning youre not supposed to meditate on the goldwater side,

    youre supposed to do your thing on the backside

    life lesson for the day.

    now its time for dinner and a movie.

  5. im in the spirtual vortex of america 

    listening to art brut bob dylan mavis staples and adele

    we just had the best italian meal looking at the mountains listening to the river

    and watching a happy hummingbird.

    we drove up to the airport vortex to checkout the sunset and the energy


    earlier we checked out one of the coolest mansions, this secluded estate reportedly owned by the man who invented lasic laser surgery

    if youre ever in sedona, you gotta eat at The Hideaway. the antipasta was ridiculously good and the manacotti was amazing

    i also had two margaritas cuz i cant get enough of them no matter what food im eating

    this was our view while we ate. which may not seem like much to the naked eye

    but even the park ranger was all, this is god’s handiwork

    to which all we could say was amen

  6. Saturday, May 21, 2011
  7. Monday, September 20, 2010

    this is our last few hours in new york 

    and as always it has taken my breath away

    yes theres the energy. the possibilities. the buildings. the diversity. the music. the power. the history. the people. the doggies. the newspapers. the food the food the food. the bars. the people in jets and giants jerseys. the lights. the boats. the parks. the little garbage cans. the brownstones. the markets. the late night every things.

    but theres something even more.

    yesterday we had a great lunch with my dear friend amy who gave me some great advice about Whats Next for me. its weird when i first started at LAist she was all, ok thats great but Whats Next? i was like omg i have my dreamiest job, i get to wear pajamas and blog and blog what could be more than this? and she would say youre tony pierce youre bigger than one blog no matter how much you grow it.

    and now shes still saying theres a tony pierce project i should be thinking about. and its fascinating because when she was the editor of our college paper winning every award you could imagine our biggest dreams back then were to work for papers like the LA Times. but still she says theres more.

    i dont want more. i want a freaky crazy quality. i want to be part of a fine and funky system. i want to be… i dont know what. nirvana meets miles meets king kong.

    this is what i want. i want exactly what happened for dinner.

    right before dinner we had a great conversation with our friend anna who knows more about the other dimensions than makes some comfortable. including me. i had been reading the first 10 psalms when she came home. then we all talked. then i had to use the restroom (its getting better) and i read a few pages of meghan mccains book and im loving it. then i rejoined the convo with anna and my truest. it went on for hours.

    around 11 it was decided that my baby wanted to eat and since we hadnt eaten since mexican bbq with amy we left the house and found our way to the R train. we were told to get off at R street and walk a few blocks to a Cafe. i figured that because the Giants game was in the 3rd quarter that everything would be open. sadly the Colts were demolishing the Giants so things were closing.

    didnt matter. we kept walking and we ended up at the muy romantico Brooklyn Promenade. quality views. sweet couples arm in arm or cuddling checking out that great view. all the lights. a few boats. but mostly loveliness. we kept strolling. where? who knows. at some point i put “restaruants” in Google Maps but there werent that many near brooklyn bridge. there was one pizza place that said “no slices” but that one was getting close to closing and i hate to be that guy who keeps everyone open longer than they want. so we strolled until a cab came by.

    we got in, a nice man with a long beard and a turban welcomed us calmly. “can you take us across the street, i mean across the bridge to the city. we want to go to a restaurant thats still open.”

    he said, “there are many that are still open.”

    i said, “good, take us to the place where there are many that are still open.”

    we got on the bridge. it was gorgeous. he said, “east village?” i said sure.

    thats how i want my life to be. quiet, peaceful, working together with my brothers and sisters. trusting. loving. respecting. but at the same time its a little tiny mini adventure of discovery.

    some may say never just let the cabbie be in total control. but control is an illusion. whos really in control when youre in the back seat? you could say 42nd and 5th and he drives you to detroit. so why not just sit back and enjoy the ride?

    ended up at 7A, which strangely is a place i walked by years ago. its across from a crazy park in alphabet city. theres a wall painted for Joe Strummer. “know your rights”.

    you have the right, to love.

    you have the right, to learn.

    you have the right, to live.

    thought about eating ice cream after dinner. a dinner that featured music by jay-z on the speaker. one great hit after another.

    thought about a belgian waffle in a store that had lots of nice pictures of our president.

    saw a sticker with our president. saw graffiti celebrating our president.

    i remember when reagan was around, i remember when clinton was around. i never remember the kids (and adults) being so excited about the sitting president.

    if the question is hows that hopey changey stuff working out for you, the answer in many corners of where ive been lately is the people still believe. and better than believing in one man or one party – they believe in themselves. and whoever that guy is who they keep making posters of, he simply represents what that hope and change is. he symbolizes what it is in our hearts and our hoods.

    and if you want to make a belgian waffle and name it obama and eat it, thats fine too.

    next stop chicago.

  8. Tuesday, December 4, 2007
  9. Thursday, January 4, 2007

    busblog on the road 

    10/1 drunk blogging in a new york barwatching the bears “im at alaphbet citu7sh. 7th and b. im watcing the bears with a bunch of bears fans whove movved here. i wanna move here. i saw one ugly chick if youre scoring at home and ivf youre scoring at home squeeze yr chicks ass for me.”

    10/1 first time having sex in a public bathroom

    10/2 video of a kid riding a skateboard while driving a minibike

    10/3 interview with some groovy people in central park

    10/3 made it to dc despite car problems

    10/4 hanging out with my bro in dc

    more proof that im totally insane

    10/6 nashville: “the devil takes these road trips with me. hes a pretty good travel partner. he ties to make me fall asleep on the wheel. he spots out all the rednecks and white trash. he reminds me how easy it is to get laid and then makes all the girls i meet on the road married or dating or have terrible breath. last night we met a check out chick at the wall mart and he was all oh no you wont and i was all watch me fucker.

    10/7 memphis tent revival video action

    review of graceland

    10/8 photos of the french quarter, memphis, and graceland

    10/9 new orleans

    10/10 interview with a teenage girl in new orleans

    10/11 photo essay of new orleans on LAist

    10/11 blogging from crawfish city for your ass

    10/12 blogging from waco texas in a popeye’s about being in austin texas with dan sara and leah

    10/13 on friday the thirteenth clipper girls cousin called me on my cell phone and totally was mean to me and said horrible things all while i was driving on the george bush freeway in texas ending in her hanging up on me and i will probably never talk to her again so fuck her

    also a picture of elvis presleys teddy bear

    10/14 from a really nice $55 motel in santa rosa new mexico not san rafael i was actually stoned when i wrote that off a joint i found in the bedspread. video interview with the seemingly perfect kristin pony from when i was in oklahoma that morning.

    10/15 because a lot of hotel and motel owners read the busblog heres some tips i have for you

    10/16 bored at the grand canyon. no wonder people do acid here.

    10/17 video from glendale arizona as the chicago bears face the arizona cardinals on one of the greatest monday night football games of all time

    10/18 but i left early because it was killing me to see them get slaughtered. meaning that when they suddenly made that miraculous comeback it was because of something that i had done, namely leave the game and sacrifice myself for the good of the city of chicago and bears fans everywhere.

    10/18 a tiny college girl suckers me into getting a facebook deal

    10/19 i drove home special to be able to see the pogues and they sucked

    10/21 for the first time ever on the busblog i reveal my true age, 99

    10/22 on my 100th birthday i post my second favorite page from stiff

    10/23 clipper girl promises a great birthday gift and not only doesnt deliver but ditched me on my birthday and then called the next day and i will never probably ever talk to her ever again either so fuck her too.

    10/26 not adjusting well to being off the road

    10/29 i talk about a womans right to choose what happens in her womb and i get 56 comments

    10/30 why abortion rights should go to sexually active girls and why they shouldnt need parental approval.

    10/31 a review of the craziest month of the year

  10. Tuesday, September 12, 2006

    day five iowa 

    how is it that its always 5am? how is it that i didnt really see anything of any interest until 1am? how is it that midwest girls still have my heart? even the ones who check me into my fairfield suites hotel in downtown des moines? how is it that i never knew how small this country can be when you are allowed to drive 85 mph?

    how is it that theres all this road construction but nothing seems to be getting done and they have coned off three fourths of the road and theres only one lane to drive in and still all of us: cars trucks boats and planes all seem to be able to still zoom down the highway to hell in the middle of the night and have no problem.

    how is it that i have yet to encounter even one bad driver on the entire trip? does that mean that im the bad driver? how is it that no one seems to notice that the largest chain of gas station convenience stores in the midwest is called Kum & Go

    how is it that even though i have put this blog on the backburner that over a thousand people a day keep coming here and advertisers still want to pay me to put links to their shit here?

    how is it that life is so unfair that anna nicoles son had to not only live with a crazed horny embarrassing druggie drunk of a mom, but that slimeball hanger-on lawyer, and then couldnt even have an exciting way to die young like get caught banging one of the olsen twins and get shot by a jealous boyfriend?

    how is it that i might just be in possession of the finest consumer video camera in the world under a thousand dollars and i have not met one girl who wants to get naked in front of it?

    how is it that theres no jack n the boxes east of vegas? how is it that the raiders could suck so badly on monday night football? how is it that i dont even wanna beat off here in this chrystal clear clean room even though i listened to Playboy on sirius radio for many hours in the dark while driving with my pants off because my boner was tapping me on the shoulder asking arewethereyet arewethereyet and now that we’re there i just want to work eat drink and sleep?

    how is it that i know i never read on the road and yet i always bring all the books that i never got around to reading at the crib?

    how is it that i never cry not even while listening to howard stern’s replay of 9/11 from five years ago and his reruns of past 9/11s but a comedy like Little Miss Sunshine had me crying from begining to end because it was so damn good?

    how is it that the bitches who play super hard to get, as in super doooper hard to get, in cali dont accept my booty calls until i leave that side of the world and then theyre all hey its too bad youre not here cuz i just got some handcuffs.

    how is it that they dont remember that im not mr handcuffs guy im mr shutthefuckupho guy herestheductape as its easier on your wrists when you struggle but just as strong the way i wrap it, and you can write dirty words on duct tape and slap it on the hos head and above the ass and on the belly, etc.

    how is it that i drove almost all day today and at the end of the long excursion it almost seemed like my car rode better at the end of the night than it did way at the begining.

    how is it that you dont love me. how is it that the cubs are thirty games below five hundy how is it that i keep getting screwed on these time zone changes and i should have two more hours to work before five but in reality its five already which means that i should stop blogging and pass out.

    how is it that i arrived in iowa, interviewed the graveyard manager of the Kum & Go on video and before i left i didnt get a six pack of Old Style, my favorite beer of all times?