nothing in here is true

  1. Wednesday, January 6, 2021

    today the capitol police let an angry mob invade congress 

    everyone knew they were coming.

    the president said he was looking forward to seeing everyone there.

    and they showed up and for some reason the national guard wasnt there waiting

    for some reason the few capitol police who could do anything opened the gates and let them in

    then when they were inside the cops didnt say much other than

    happy new year

    then hell broke loose

    then all of congress had to hide

    one congresslady was in a room with a bunch of republicans and they werent wearing masks

    so she was all, excuse me, im going to go to a worse hiding place

    with less room, but at least i’ll be around people with masks.

    four people died.

    one lady died because she was trying to bust through and a cop just shot her. dead.

    another guy accidentally tasered himself and got a heart attack.

    which is why i say this to you:

    i love you.

    im sorry im not always there for you.

    im sorry im a fucking weirdo times infinity.

    im sorry that i might freak out and freak people out sometimes

    but what we all learned today was some people can get away with anything they want

    they can go into secure areas, scale walls, assault officers

    waltz into the speaker of the house’s anteroom and steal her mail.

    and then walk back to their comped fancy hotel room.

    what we learned is i am not one of those people who gets away with much.

    which is ok.

    today amber was all, im realizing you have a hard life.

    i said nah.

    she said yeah.

    i said hard is sleeping in a tent right now under the hollywood freeway.

    or worse:

    wishing you had a tent.

  2. Sunday, February 2, 2020

    yr not in kansas any more 

    The funniest Super Bowl commercial was the one in support for more funding for public schools.

    Why? Because since he was a lad, Donald Trump was enrolled in private schools and since graduating has bankrupted numerous businesses, has been impeached and today flaunted that he doesn’t even know what state the Kansas City Chiefs play in.

    Former Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill, a product of public schools, tweeted: “It’s Missouri you stone cold idiot.”

    As my man Joe Armstrong notes, “671,018 Kansas residents voted for Donald in the 2016 election, bestowing upon him the state’s six electoral votes with 56.16% of the vote.”

    Kansas hasn’t voted for a Democrat for POTUS since LBJ. Would be interesting if this gaff during their moment of celebration, swings the state blue in 2020.

  3. Saturday, May 26, 2018

    Louis Farrakhan had some interesting things to say about Trump 

    Well, that wasn’t the intent of this administration to do a lot of good for us but the nature of this administration is good for us because now, you know, sometimes you think you’re where you’re not. Trump is letting you know where you really stand. And because of Trump’s way, he is an anomaly.

    There’s never been a president quite like Mr. Trump. But there’s something that he’s doing. I’m going to come out in a few weeks and talk about it.

    But Trump is destroying every enemy that was an enemy of our rise.

    Who is the enemy of our rise?

    Is it the Department of Justice where we get none?

    Is it Congress where you make a law that favors us and then you turn around and destroy it?

    Is it the media that has destroyed every Black leader that stood up for us calling us out of our name?

    Martin Luther King suffered it. Malcolm X suffered it. W.E.B. DuBois suffered it. Marcus Garvey suffered it.

    So he’s attacking the media, calling it “fake news.” I don’t think everything is fake.

    But I know very well that we have been the victims of some fake news.

    Now, the FBI? Go at it, baby. They’ve been beating the hell out of us ever since J. Edgar Hoover and the Counterintelligence Program of the U.S. government. So go ahead, Mr. Trump.

    But here’s the problem. Mr. Trump, you have to be careful because I did say on a sister station that if we voted for Trump, he’s going to take America to Hell on a rocket ship. And America, he thinks, is gaining by the bullying, by the threats.

    No, Mr. Trump, America is losing. And if America triggers the Third World War, which the Bible calls Armageddon, the America that we know, we shall never, ever know it again.

    We really need to stop and check because you’re getting the country into deep trouble

  4. Monday, September 25, 2017

    in the days of chimpanzees i was a busblog 

    spent part of the weekend fighting with people on Twitter about why NFL players were kneeling during the National Anthem.

    It’s tough to argue on Twitter for a few reasons:

    1. some people want to remain in the dark

    2. im a verbose SOB thus it’s tough to stick to just 140 letters

    3. i was watching football and forgot that i was arguing with half of the South.

    the biggest problem was these people kept wanting to say that by kneeling during the Anthem, the players are disrespecting the flag.

    as if the flag has feelings. it’s cloth i told them.


    but they didn’t want to hear it. and it was curious.

    im sorry they arent protesting the way they want people to protest. when Trump tried to impose the racist Muslim ban, people took to the streets. The Trumpsters whined accusing the protesters of being paid. They complained that the traffic was bad now. They bitched that the signs were painting them in a bad light.

    so here you have a protest that doesn’t affect anything. it doesn’t keep the flag from flying. it doesn’t keep the singer from singing. and it doesn’t even affect the game.

    so they bring the military into it: “these selfish millionaire football players are disrespecting all the veterans who fought for this country!”

    as if these Trumpsters care about the military. Aren’t a good chunk of homeless people veterans? Where were these defenders of the troops when W was cutting the VA?

    but more importantly: is a veteran more American than a schoolteacher or a Community Organizer?

    hey man, some of my best friends fought in wars. but members of the military are just Part of America. firefighters, nurses, farmers, fruit pickers, union bosses, seamstresses, and even your neighborhood blogger are all important parts of our society and we are all Americans who, when we are at our best, contribute to what makes the USA the second-greatest country in this continent.

    hi baby.

    long live every man woman and drone who defends this country and all the things we stand for but at what point is someone going to say, please stop using veterans as pawns for your bullshit argument?

    the actual issue at hand is kids, teens, adults and even women have been straight up murdered by police and those cops paid no price even when they said


    Yes. Yes you do. You know damn well why you do. And until we get that unsubstantiated fear out of the minds of our police force we are going to continue to have innocent dead black folks and athletes kneeling in protest.

    but we can’t get there until we knock off this fucking shit about the flag or the military or the “country”.

    until the flag murders a kid holding a toy gun, no one has any problem with the flag.

    until the military says “i’m gonna kill this MFer”, kills a citizen, plants a gun on him and gets away with it, no one has a problem with the military.

    athletes are kneeling because it is working. it is getting the word out there that police brutality and murder will not be tolerated.

    the President of the United States wants to pretend that this is not about race or cops or anything other than the flag.

    which is why you know it’s not about the freaking flag.

    and now i wish i had learned how to run a Post Route so i could kneel

    with my clenched fist up

    during every anthem my team played on Sundays.


  5. Thursday, June 1, 2017
  6. Monday, May 15, 2017

    imagine we had a black president who was in love omg with iran 

    and that black president was caught on tape saying the word pussy

    and that black president was all, of course i will show you my taxes, but then didnt

    and he was sooooo black

    and on mothers day he didnt go say hey to his wife up in new york

    instead he played basketball in florida.

    and then one day he invited some bros from iran over

    and he kicked out all the american news people from the room

    and only allowed muslim journalists in.

    and then he told a bunch of secrets to the iranians

    and bowed to them on their way out.

    fox news would want him dead for way more than the bow.

  7. Tuesday, April 18, 2017

    idiot trump and idiot north korean dude are gonna kill us all 

    before the nukes start flying around let me tell you that this has been an amazing ride.

    50 years ive gotten to watch this miracle of life and every day i have been fascinated.

    the irony is the majority of these posts have been about me,

    but really they are about how i feel like i fit in

    or how i dont fit in.

    it’s ok not to fit in, btw, indeed sometimes it’s great.

    we still love the chainsaw even though it doesnt fit into the tool box

    but for certain jobs it’s the best friend a one armed man fighting evil could ever have.

    im grateful that i got to spend my life in the era that i did.

    i got to see video games rise from Pong, i got to see computers rise from huge office machines to tiny “phones”

    and best of all i got to see the Cubs win the World Series with my own two eyes.

    along the way i got to kiss some of the prettiest girls in the whole universe,

    i got to live while there was a black man in the white house

    and i’ve even been lucky enough to be of aid to one or two people,

    which the good book says is the purpose of all of this.

    i love you and sorry this planet had to explode so quickly, for no good reason.

    see you at the Big Arcade in the Sky.



  8. Sunday, April 16, 2017
  9. Friday, March 3, 2017
  10. Tuesday, February 14, 2017