nothing in here is true

  1. Monday, September 25, 2017

    in the days of chimpanzees i was a busblog 

    spent part of the weekend fighting with people on Twitter about why NFL players were kneeling during the National Anthem.

    It’s tough to argue on Twitter for a few reasons:

    1. some people want to remain in the dark

    2. im a verbose SOB thus it’s tough to stick to just 140 letters

    3. i was watching football and forgot that i was arguing with half of the South.

    the biggest problem was these people kept wanting to say that by kneeling during the Anthem, the players are disrespecting the flag.

    as if the flag has feelings. it’s cloth i told them.


    but they didn’t want to hear it. and it was curious.

    im sorry they arent protesting the way they want people to protest. when Trump tried to impose the racist Muslim ban, people took to the streets. The Trumpsters whined accusing the protesters of being paid. They complained that the traffic was bad now. They bitched that the signs were painting them in a bad light.

    so here you have a protest that doesn’t affect anything. it doesn’t keep the flag from flying. it doesn’t keep the singer from singing. and it doesn’t even affect the game.

    so they bring the military into it: “these selfish millionaire football players are disrespecting all the veterans who fought for this country!”

    as if these Trumpsters care about the military. Aren’t a good chunk of homeless people veterans? Where were these defenders of the troops when W was cutting the VA?

    but more importantly: is a veteran more American than a schoolteacher or a Community Organizer?

    hey man, some of my best friends fought in wars. but members of the military are just Part of America. firefighters, nurses, farmers, fruit pickers, union bosses, seamstresses, and even your neighborhood blogger are all important parts of our society and we are all Americans who, when we are at our best, contribute to what makes the USA the second-greatest country in this continent.

    hi baby.

    long live every man woman and drone who defends this country and all the things we stand for but at what point is someone going to say, please stop using veterans as pawns for your bullshit argument?

    the actual issue at hand is kids, teens, adults and even women have been straight up murdered by police and those cops paid no price even when they said


    Yes. Yes you do. You know damn well why you do. And until we get that unsubstantiated fear out of the minds of our police force we are going to continue to have innocent dead black folks and athletes kneeling in protest.

    but we can’t get there until we knock off this fucking shit about the flag or the military or the “country”.

    until the flag murders a kid holding a toy gun, no one has any problem with the flag.

    until the military says “i’m gonna kill this MFer”, kills a citizen, plants a gun on him and gets away with it, no one has a problem with the military.

    athletes are kneeling because it is working. it is getting the word out there that police brutality and murder will not be tolerated.

    the President of the United States wants to pretend that this is not about race or cops or anything other than the flag.

    which is why you know it’s not about the freaking flag.

    and now i wish i had learned how to run a Post Route so i could kneel

    with my clenched fist up

    during every anthem my team played on Sundays.


  2. Thursday, June 1, 2017
  3. Monday, May 15, 2017

    imagine we had a black president who was in love omg with iran 

    and that black president was caught on tape saying the word pussy

    and that black president was all, of course i will show you my taxes, but then didnt

    and he was sooooo black

    and on mothers day he didnt go say hey to his wife up in new york

    instead he played basketball in florida.

    and then one day he invited some bros from iran over

    and he kicked out all the american news people from the room

    and only allowed muslim journalists in.

    and then he told a bunch of secrets to the iranians

    and bowed to them on their way out.

    fox news would want him dead for way more than the bow.

  4. Tuesday, April 18, 2017

    idiot trump and idiot north korean dude are gonna kill us all 

    before the nukes start flying around let me tell you that this has been an amazing ride.

    50 years ive gotten to watch this miracle of life and every day i have been fascinated.

    the irony is the majority of these posts have been about me,

    but really they are about how i feel like i fit in

    or how i dont fit in.

    it’s ok not to fit in, btw, indeed sometimes it’s great.

    we still love the chainsaw even though it doesnt fit into the tool box

    but for certain jobs it’s the best friend a one armed man fighting evil could ever have.

    im grateful that i got to spend my life in the era that i did.

    i got to see video games rise from Pong, i got to see computers rise from huge office machines to tiny “phones”

    and best of all i got to see the Cubs win the World Series with my own two eyes.

    along the way i got to kiss some of the prettiest girls in the whole universe,

    i got to live while there was a black man in the white house

    and i’ve even been lucky enough to be of aid to one or two people,

    which the good book says is the purpose of all of this.

    i love you and sorry this planet had to explode so quickly, for no good reason.

    see you at the Big Arcade in the Sky.



  5. Sunday, April 16, 2017
  6. Friday, March 3, 2017
  7. Tuesday, February 14, 2017
  8. Friday, February 10, 2017
  9. Saturday, February 4, 2017

    the white house called 

    tony we want you to be the president’s twitter editor

    who dis?

    it’s the white house, we realize there are issues with what the president tweets and we need an editor. 


    how much would you charge?

    one billion dollars.

    be serious.

    one point five billion dollars.

    why won’t you be reasonable?

    why wont you let a black man become a billionaire?

    that’s not how things work

    yeah no shit.

    we can pay you a fortune, but not a billion.

    pay me whatever that jerk off bannon is getting paid plus one dollar and speaking of the dollar, put Rosa Parks on the dollar bill and i’ll do it.

    tony, i AM stephen bannon

    and my other condition is i am never to talk with you again.

    the latter can be arranged, but we can’t change the dollar bill.

    then i guess you’re shit outta luck.

    we will be in touch with you again.

    text next time why dont ya


  10. Monday, January 30, 2017

    people say theyve never seen anything like this before 

    but it’s not new.

    when bush cheney was in office they lied just as much.

    the difference was they were a little more slick about it.

    they still got caught left and right for lying and creating bullshit distractions like the red orange yellow green alerts, which they never allowed turn green.

    they still were exposed for having a gay male prostitute toss softball questions to the president.

    someone who they gave a day pass to every day for two years.

    they lied about 9/11, they lied about going to war with iraq, they lied about torture and haliburton and the saudis

    they deleted multitudes more emails than hillary

    they sent our economy into a tailspin affecting millions of americans which ended in a recession that was felt around the world.

    and when you tried to debate people online back then, some dozen years ago, it was sorta like trying to do it now: they kicked back Rush Limbaugh lines instead of Sean Hannity lines or Breitbart lines but they didn’t know what they were saying.

    and everything they echoed had something to do with national security as if this country had a reason to run scared

    when all along the phone call was coming from inside the house.

    today trumps spokesperson said the muslim ban er travel ban was a huge success despite the fact that it was imposed on people from countries that have not done us any harm.

    hey look! this puppy hasn’t mauled me. success!

    color me impressed.