nothing in here is true

  1. Wednesday, September 23, 2020
  2. Monday, September 14, 2020

    what if im addicted to twitter? 

    since Friday i have been without my phone. my girlfriend is more uptight about that than i am.

    WHAT IF THERES AN EMERGENCY she asked as we drove to Inglewood last night to get some ribs.

    then i die.

    have my ashes sprinkled among the ashes of Hollywood.

    the day before we went to Target and she did not let me leave my phone at home in case we got seperated in the two story store in Pasadena.

    now its lost somewhere in this house, locked, and trust me when i tell you last night when i gleefully told her i dont care where it was she about blew a gasket.

    things i miss about my phone are minimal. i miss calling my mom when i go on long drives. i miss having it tethered via bluetooth to my car’s Alexa so i can say hey alexa play Tsar

    but other than that it has been a pleasant separation and im sure my phone feels the same way about me.

    but this twitter. holy moley, i had no idea.

    it all happened saturday night, as per my previous post. i watched Josie get arrested and via twitter and my iMessage i was able to alert some of the people she works with. Lord knows i was not going to sit on my hands as she wa being driven to prison because of some weirdo goal to be off the grid.

    but as the conversations got weirder and weirder on Twitter regarding her case, the first amendment and the plausibility of a pro journalist jumping into a law enforcement scrum like some modern day Leroy Jenkins i began seeing why i love social media so much.

    often times it’s an interesting conversation, but moreso it’s debating with people who are so different both politically and otherwise that it’s eye opening that we can both be looking at the same half full glass of water and they say

    not only is it half empty but because of Obama it’s undrinkable.

    theres many things i should have studied at UCSB than poetry, namely: Spanish, coding, and apparently Philosophy. I flunked two courses in school, a cinema class on Buster Keaton because i refused to over analyze his slapstick comedy because i didnt want to ruin future viewings, and the philosophy of Berkeley because apparently im dumber than i look.

    in that class we had one book. it was a paperback called The Philosophy of Berkeley. It was about 75 pages. I couldn’t get through 5 of them.

    im someone who was able to read much of The Bible, Finnegans Wake, and The Sound and the Fury in college. while distracted by the beach, the ladies, and my real goal: writing 100+ articles for the Daily Nexus a year. but those who understand philosophy is something i really admire because it was so foreign to me.

    Give me Faulkner’s crazy, trippy, stoned, drunk run on sentences and Joyce’s Ulysses (which I tried to read on shrooms) any day over philosophy.

    I read Milton’s Paradise Lost as an ice cream man on summer vacation, for fun but i bombed big time with Berkeley which is why i appreciate trying to conversate with these twitter people with their American flag icons in their bio about what a good journalist can and cannot do.

    and yesterday i went on twitter to see the rest of the debate AND TODAY I DID IT TOO!

    partially i did it because two of my stories for Los Angeleno were published over the last few days an i want people to read them.

    the first was about diversity at the Oscars and how their new rules can be easily gamed

    and the other is about diversity at the LA Times and how they really should bite the bullet and let Angel Jennings have full on veto powers otherwise she will be frustrated as merely a token.

    going forward i have no other excuses.

    but here is the biggest problem i have with twitter: i learn s much. i follow about 1,300 people. about half of them are fully alive on the platform, tweeting out and retweeting fascinating things. news breaks and theyre on it.

    who doesn’t love breaking news?

    who doesnt want to talk about the president visiting california and saying that the global warming will just disappear? who doesnt want to talk about the Bears’ crazy comeback yesterday or the Cubs’ no hitter or a thousand other things?

    i do i do i do!

    the greatest thing about being the blog editor of the LA Times was being able to bounce from desk to desk and talk with some of the greatest writers and editors of those sections about the stories theyre working on and how we can make the ones theyve recently published get seen.

    it was like going to college and being given an All Access pass to every classroom, all the star students, and all the best professors. every day i learned so much.

    twitter is a tiny version of that. oftentimes the journalists will tell you in real time what they are working on or what their recently published stories are all about. and the best ones will answer your questions. you do not need to be a Philosophy major to chat with them because they see the half full glass of water and will talk all day with you about it.

    using their real names.

    using links to support their point of view.

    and often the people who follow them are also interesting and educated people who also want to learn.

    so why am i giving that up for even a week?

    because all addictions should be put under control.

    even if they are fulfilling and wonderful and incredible.

    at least for me.

  3. Sunday, September 13, 2020

    well i replugged 

    i had to. i was watching TV on Saturday Night. 11pm news.

    when you’re not distracted by your phone and laptop you actually watch things. its crazy.

    the nice lady on TV said “a radio reporter was arrested tonight in Compton…”

    LA is huge but it’s also teeny tiny. I totally expected to see Claudia Peschiutta being escorted to the pokey because, like, me, she is not afraid to tell Authorities when they are wrong wrong wrong and let’s count the ways they are wrong.

    the last person i thought id see on my screen was Josie Huang.

    But there was Josie, screaming to the fuzz who she worked for, that she was a journalist and how this was wrong.

    Shockingly on the LA Sheriff Dept’s Twitter account was a three-part tweet that claimed she “admitted” she didn’t have the “proper” press credentials AND that she had no ID.

    Josie? one of the most prepared and organized reporters you’ll ever cross paths with?

    we are to believe that Josie drove all the way down to compton to go to a hospital where two deputies are recovering from gunshots to the head and she didn’t bring a press pass or her work ID?

    technically, there is no requirement for a press credential to practice journalism. Many in the press simply have business cards but even that is not required to be protected by the first amendment the same way you don’t need a document to speak.

    press passes are typically offered to make things easier for law enforcement or other officials to determine who is press in tense situations where yelling and pointing aren’t always easy to do. or in this case its shown to hospital staff to help prove why you are there. unfortunately it doesn’t guarantee entry or access but it doesn’t hurt.

    but on the sidewalk, a public sidewalk, the minute Josie identified herself to the deputies they should have respected her in the exact same way law enforcement wants to be respected when they identify themselves in situations.

    secondly, she had her ID flapping from her neck, laminated, and visible, so fuck your fucking bullshit tweet. delete it.

    i hate lies so much that i created this blog.

    and on this blog i wrote “nothing in here is true” that way if i wanted to lie, i could and no one could say they were tricked.

    the irony is on many posts the only lie is “nothing in here is true”

    the Law, however should always be trusted. and their tweets should be Gospel. video proves that all three of these tweets are false.

    on a day where two deputies were shot in the head at point blank range the public should be united in trying to find the shooter. instead, due to these lies and the way Josie was treated, the emotions are more complicated than they should be and respect for the LA sheriff’s dept is not 100%.

    that is fucked. and it’s nobody’s fault other than the department, which currently doesn’t have the greatest track record.

    is there a solution? there’s always a solution.

    here a former journalist should be in charge of that twitter account. they should be paid $150k and there should be zero rush to put out information. especially if it is in regards to someone, like a journalist, who has video of the arrest and the events leading up to it, and if there are, oh I dont know, tv cameras showing reverse angles and such.

    because this will only make the department look worse when the truth comes out.

    but heres the problem.

    we currently live in a country where the President of the United States has convinced a healthy chunk of the populace that the press is not to be trusted. also ironic since he has lied to the nation over 20,000 times from petty topics like crowd size of his inauguration to deadly things like how the coronavirus is spread.

    therefore something eye opening happened when on twitter word spread of Josie’s arrest:

    the majority of the public didn’t believe her.

    despite the videos, despite the ACLU, journalism unions, journalism orgs, her workplace, other journalists who were there, asswipes like me… sooooo many people on twitter said nonsense like “that’ll teach her for getting in the way of deputies.” “she wanted to be The story, well she got what she wanted.”

    it blew me away. which is hard to do because i have been on Twitter for a little while now.

    but it taught me an incredibly important lesson.

    for some idealistic reason i have always believed that if so much popular opinion is against me on Twitter, there’s something i could have done better, different, more clear that would have prevented so much negativity.

    but here Josie did nothing wrong. there were multiple camera angles. things were clear. hell, we could even see the deputies trying to smash her camera to destroy the evidence that they had illegally manhandled her and interfered with HER job, not the other way around.

    and yet the public saw this gold dress as a red one.

    it did not help that the Sheriff Dept shit in the punchbowl with its tweets. despite the fact that this is a department who just recently was exposed for incredibly bad behavior. there are members of the public who will always take the side of the law over the press even if the video is right in front of them and there are jerks like me who will confront them on twitter telling them that they are wrong wrong wrong.

    plugging back in for a day taught me just another reason why i should unplug for a week.

    my beloved social channels are infested with pollution that in many ways is man made.

    and its good to rehab for a while and get that gunk out of your system before diving headfirst back into it for the rest of this year.

  4. Tuesday, August 25, 2020

    everyone says talking to strangers online is a waste of time 

    but im not so sure.

    first off, lots of the people i dont like

    would never talk to people on say twitter

    especially using their own names.

    and who wants to be like the people you dont like?

    also how are you going to know about people unless you talk with them?

    i have had a great time at Los Angeleno because ive been able to talk with people all over town and they have surprised me every time.

    that time i met a couple trump supporters in south LA

    that time i had a hard time finding anyone happy that their street got turned into Obama Blvd.

    and that time i couldnt find one Uber driver in the whole, crowded LAX rideshare lot who wanted to be an employee of Uber. they said theyd rather quit.

    today i wrote about a guy who is a super famous tiktoker who is raking in millions and has handed out pizza to Black Lives Matter protesters, and even built a school in Bali for 200 kids.

    and as above, when you talk to people they’ll tell you surprising things.

    or at least it surprises me.

    this guy says that when he started, after just a few videos, since nobody really clicking his stuff, he was going to quit.

    he was going to go home and live with his mom in nyc.

    but he was so broke he didnt have enough money to go home.

    so as he saved up what he was earning at his dumb job,


    and as that fateful church street chinese restaurant fortune cookie once said

    a flower blooms brightest right before it dies.

    and one of the videos he put up when he just didnt give a crap about any more

    went viral.

    for some reason it took me weeks and weeks to put that story together.

    i was blocked. so blocked.

    for two weeks my car has been in the shop.

    i have zero distractions.

    why would i be blocked to tell a sweet tale about a very nice man?

    i just was.

    sometimes theres no answer for it.

    sometimes you just are.

    so imma transcribe this next piece right now

    if i dont get distracted talking to the people.

  5. Saturday, August 22, 2020

    had a good day, which is rare lately 

    children of the future, the masked woman on the right is Cher

    probably the first armenian american superstar. oscar and grammy winning fashionista.

    she wants to save the post office.

    we tried to volunteer this week.

    they wouldnt let her.

    so she went down to the post office with signs and started a little rally.

    she wasnt thrilled with the turnout so she went on Twitter and said, lets do it again next week.

    so i took this picture and i put it on the Los Angeleno twitter and this troll started trying to troll me.

    but my middle name is howdareyou and i gave him the whats for. and because Cher was tagged on it she eventually saw it and made a little joke about one of my tweets and that pretty much made my day. my week even.

    then amber came home with burritos. then we got the AC to work. then everyone took showers and then we watched a little of the Wire. and then we held hands in bed and said sweet things to each other.

    and as i was saying sweet things to her she passed out.

    but i kept saying things.

    first i listed all the girls i had kissed in my apartment.

    its been 20 years and i look like a runway model so you can only imagine how long that went on for.

    then i said alexa turn off the lights

    but i couldnt go to sleep. it was only 1am. last night i didnt get to sleep till 6.

    so i went into the living room and played with the baseball cards.

    played with the cats.

    watched a guy catch baseballs at the all star game.

    and thanked the Good Lord for my good life.

    no ride is fun if its just straight and normal and without any thing to take yr breath away.

    tomorrow i finish this thing ive been slaving over for a month.

    sometimes it takes a while.


  6. Sunday, February 2, 2020

    yr not in kansas any more 

    The funniest Super Bowl commercial was the one in support for more funding for public schools.

    Why? Because since he was a lad, Donald Trump was enrolled in private schools and since graduating has bankrupted numerous businesses, has been impeached and today flaunted that he doesn’t even know what state the Kansas City Chiefs play in.

    Former Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill, a product of public schools, tweeted: “It’s Missouri you stone cold idiot.”

    As my man Joe Armstrong notes, “671,018 Kansas residents voted for Donald in the 2016 election, bestowing upon him the state’s six electoral votes with 56.16% of the vote.”

    Kansas hasn’t voted for a Democrat for POTUS since LBJ. Would be interesting if this gaff during their moment of celebration, swings the state blue in 2020.

  7. Monday, September 2, 2019

    today in cub twitter 

    Anthony Rizzo has played over 1,200 innings in the majors.

    A giant majority of that time was as a first baseman.

    Over the course of the last few years he has spent a total of 5 innings as a second baseman… on a technicality.

    occasionally Joe Maddon positions players very aggressively on bunts. Rizzo is positioned ridiculously close to home and the true second baseman covers first.

    Because he is basically to the side of the pitcher’s mound during the pitch,

    MLB rules say Rizzo can’t use a first baseman’s glove because those are only used for the player closest to first.

    He exchanges his huge glove with the second baseman for a normal sized one.

    During those outs, he’s being recorded as a second baseman.

    They are rare.

    Extremely rare.

    The Cubs have done that zero times this season so far.

    But Rizzo, always the jokester, identifies himself as a first AND second baseman on his Twitter bio.

  8. Thursday, August 8, 2019

    Today in Corporate Tweeting: SoulCycle 

    A pinned tweet is one that you want to stay up top so that every visitor sees it first when they click your username.

    A Ratio is when you get fewer likes than comments. This typically happens when the audience is ripping you a new one in disagreement with your tweet. 

    Therefore, should you pin a tweet you’re getting hammered on? Isn’t that defeating the purpose of your “nah bro, everything’s cool” message… because the Ratio is proving that everything is clearly not cool and you didn’t put out the fire – you enflamed it?

    The reason, by the way, that this tweet is getting demolished is bc it’s being accused as being untrue.

    The billionaire hosting the Trump2020 fundraiser is not a “a passive investor,” according to NYT columnist and CNBC Squawk Box co-host.

    If the gentleman is incorrect, set it straight in a new tweet and pin That.

    As the great Doc Searls said years ago in Cluetrain Manifesto, “markets are a conversation.” A pinned tweet acts like a mic drop – the end of a conversation. The ratio begs to differ. Soul Cycle should address the ratio, and clarify its clarification if it can.

  9. Tuesday, October 10, 2017

    social media is the thing people still don’t know how to feel about 

    the other day ESPN, a channel sports fans like me have loved since its inception, suspended a

    sports analyst

    for tweeting her opinions about something happening in sports.

    to be specific, she was tweeting about an ongoing NFL protest where a handful of players are kneeling during the National Anthem to bring attention to the fact that police are killing black people, many of whom are unarmed, and not paying a price for their crimes.

    companies for eons have had the upper hand on the public voices of their employees but once blogging and now Twitter have risen up, the companies are panicked because OMG what happens if an employee tweets something controversial?

    the double edged sword of social media is people are either posting things benign like pictures of puppies or babies, or extremely controversial items like their feelings about politics.

    what these companies dont realize or want to agree to is that Control is an Illusion. and when you suspend an analyst for analyzing you look a bit hypocritical – especially when many public-facing personalities are being judged by how many twitter followers they have.

    look no further than our president who was praised by the mavericky way he was able to reach out to his millions of followers on twitter and speak his mind.

    so it’s a bit odd when the leader of the free world can tweet whatever he wants, but the people in the free world are punished for it.

    that dynamic is what the original europeans who settled here were escaping from: royal tyranny

    this country, stolen from the native americans, was built on the idea that one could express their feelings – particularly about issues of The State – without being punished.

    for if the people cannot speak truth to power in America

    the home of the brave

    on any platform, from blogs to tweets,

    then we have bigger issues than police murdering people in cold blood.

    which is fucking crazy.

  10. Sunday, October 30, 2016