nothing in here is true

  1. Thursday, December 18, 2014

    last night live tweeting so many ppl were all oh yeah tony go! 

    fingerand then there was one guy who was all wait

    are you really sad that the drunk driver who stole the car

    and led the cops from hollywood to malibu

    while recklessly driving on sidewalks and the wrong direction of the pch

    did get shot to death at the end?

    i wanted to explain to him how there are a lot of other ways a car chase can end that would properly entertain and satisfy me.

    i wanted to type that blood and guts are not the only outcomes of car chases in fact any experienced car chase watcher knows that most endings dont conclude with blood.

    did i want the cops to shoot him? hell yes.

    but not because im blood thirsty, in fact the opposite.

    i wanted the cops to shoot him because i was afraid he was gonna kill innocent people.

    bro was speeding faster down Melrose than I ever saw any one drive.

    and you realize this is 2014: people have headphones on, theyre looking at their stupid phones, they’re high, they’re drunk, there are so many ways a clueless Los Angeleno can accidentally walk out in the middle of a sleepy Melrose Avenue at 10pm, never thinking that a car could be barreling down the road at 100 MPH

    yes, shoot that guy.

    and if you dont kill him, maybe you will let him know you mean business. remind him that this isnt a video game. and let the next guy know you’re not just gonna get a few traffic tickets.

    ironically, right as this anonymous negative tweeter was calling me names, down in redondo beach over a dozen pedestrians including a baby were hit by a car driven by a drunk driver. four people died.

    im sorry Occupy LA didn’t work out for you. im sorry you’re butthurt that sometimes cops do bad things. im black, you dont have to remind me that cops arent always the superheroes of the world.

    but you know who are villains every single time: drunk drivers speeding around pedestrians.

    if you want to debate me about that, put your name next to your dumbshit tweet and we can have a real debate between two human beings. until then you’re just a dumbshit troll with his head up his ass trying to kill my vibe on twitter.

     previously: live tweeting the car chase of the week

  2. Wednesday, December 17, 2014
  3. Saturday, June 21, 2014

    best LA Times Shareline ever 

    dov charney LA Times

    one of the smartest things about the new LA Times redesign is Sharelines.

    most websites have one suggested twitter headline that’s usually a dull version of the original web hed

    but one of the new duties (I imagine) for LAT web producers is to think of three alternative headlines that would work best on Twitter to encourage retweets and clickthrus.

    these three on today’s story about recently booted always entertaining American Apparel CEO Dov Charney show how different suggested tweets would fit three different types of readers.

    that last one tho: instant classic.

  4. Sunday, March 23, 2014
  5. Monday, March 17, 2014
  6. Friday, December 27, 2013

    frost bandit, busblog man of the year 

    hopes santa dies in a fire

    at first glance one could easily look at wednesdays tweet from “Frost” and think

    this is why the terrorists hate us: we whine about getting an inferior game system

    instead of the amazing gift kris kringle shimmied down our fireplace.

    but on deeper inspection it had this blogger thinking

    in what ways am i like @FrostBandit, and how can i improve on that in the coming new year?

    do i look at a glass half full and think

    “glass? wheres my red solo cup”?

    i”ll work on accepting the good tidings with joy in 2014

    instead of complaining via twitter that it wasn’t exactly what i thought i wanted.

    cuz for all i know it might be better.

    so, thank you @FrostBandit!

  7. Thursday, November 7, 2013

    today is the day ev became a billionaire 

    me and eveons ago i read an article about ev williams and his new free software for blogging called Blogger.

    it seemed perfect for me so i signed up in july of 2001 and in august the busblog began rolling. i wasnt the only one who used the platform, millions did.

    so many that in feb of 2003 ev sold blogger to google.

    soon he left google to start another thing, Odeo, which was about podcasting or blogging by telephone with a product that posted audio on your blog.

    in a strange but interesting move, not long after Odeo was funded, ev returned the money to his investors, plus interest, in a way that everyone was financially happy about.

    i interviewed him at his SF office about it, but of course i put it on a Yahoo video hosting service that no long exists, and naturally i cant find the original right now cuz im an idiot.

    in that interview he mentioned something about Twitter and later at SXSW he, Biz, and Jason Goldman tried to explain to me what Twitter was. That 2006 interview was also on the Yahoo video hosting site and I no longer have easy access to that either.

    But what I remember is we were all drunk, they were happy because Twitter won all these Webby and Bloggy awards and the service was a huge hit at SXSW. I asked them how they felt Twitter could be used outside of party zones like Austin and they explained it to me: but i didn’t fully understand.

    Like, at all.

    In fact I felt so little use for Twitter that I don’t think i signed up for it until like a year after that drunken night.

    Here we are in 2013 and Twitter’s IPO just went off to a smashing success, opening at 26, closing at 44.90, making all of the founders super rich, and turning Ev into a billionaire. “overnight.”

    i’ve often said that i owe Ev everything. i had a pretty successful website before blogging, but blogging and blogger.com catapulted me into a place i never dreamed id ever be.

    today it looks like Ev was paid back for all the good he helped all of us achieve. And by Ev, of course I mean he and his team.

    God bless the Internet

  8. Saturday, October 19, 2013
  9. Sunday, July 28, 2013
  10. Monday, May 27, 2013

    Amanda Bynes, the meltdown continues 

    amanda bynes in court

    From her Twitter today:

    For once and for all, this is the last thing I’ll say about the mistaken arrest. I’m suing NYPD for illegally entering my apartment, lying about drugs on me and lying about me tampering with non existent drug paraphernalia, then I’m suing for being put into a mental hospital against my will, then locked up overnight for coming home after a facial and working out with my trainer like the good girl that I am. I’m allergic to alcohol and drugs and don’t partake in any of the above. I’m so offended by all of this but so proud to not be a drug or alcohol user. I don’t need to talk about this anymore. My lawyer and I are taking this offense so seriously! Everything they did was against the law and The judge saw that there was no drugs on me or proof of any type of bong or mental illness (I was so offended to even be taken to a mental hospital and they would not let me call my lawyer until the next day after being in jail all night, then I went to court and was immediately released because the judge saw that I was wrongly arrested. The cops found no proof of any type of drug use or evidence of drug paraphernalia such as a bong in or around my apartment) I’m also suing my apartment complex for lying about me smoking in my building. I’m free forever! You can’t lock up an innocent person! Thanks for caring! Look forward to seeing me in music videos! I’m getting in shape and getting a nose job! I’m looking forward to a long and wonderful career as a singer/rapper!

    Nose job?