and i am the worlds biggest sinner about certain things.
for example: im probably the greatest uber driver ever.
and there are a lot of uber drivers.
you dont need a tray of candy, condoms and mints.
you dont need a lot of bottles of water.
you need to be a good driver, and love people.
if you know a little too much about the surroundings, thats a bonus.
if you are genuinely curious about the world and the people who live there, even better.
and i will say, it helps to have been around the block a few times.
after a strange day at work it was really nice to drive the kids of usc
around their weird campus in south central.
one beautiful asian girl, after i asked her if she lives with her boyfriend said,
“no because sometimes i like to get naked, put self tanner on, and stand with my arms out, eating grapes as i watch youtube videos. i dont need some man making fun.”
got hit by this allergy attack yesterday probs due to the super bloom.
on any other day i woulda called in sick but i had to go to this meeting which determines the whole next week. runny nose, sneezing, general ickiness. the benedryl makes me feel sick.
so driving around usc i had run out of kleenex and i got a ping from a young lady at the Taco Bell down from the 9-0.
so i texted back “be right there, can you pick me up some napkins?”
got there, she had the napkins, and i drove her and her friends to this cool taco joint + bar.
we took a selfie by the curb
got 15 rides in 3 hours for my $45 bonus.
one dude said, do you know you look just like tom morello.
and while going home i got a regular uber x ping. i said fine, why not.
turned out to be two of the most beautiful young nurses you ever saw
right outside of the natural history museum
i was all, omg i guess its first friday, which it was and it had just let out.
the ladies, one of them scandalously exposing her midriff, giggled, buzzed
no clue who had just performed
told me some wonderful stories about working at childrens hospital
we drove to where the johnny rockets used to be on melrose
somehow i only made $8 on the 8-mile ride
but they were such a delight.
let me tell you.
i asked them about what college they went to.
they said they met at this christian college in san berdue
i said shut your mouth, the only thing i love more than the cubs is talking about the bible!
whats your favorite story
and the one told me about the story of Esther
and she told it so well and so colorfully that we all clapped when she was done.
it’s 2:20am. if i had an electric car i would still be out there.