busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Thursday, July 26, 2012

    many moons ago i was in vancouver canada north america 

    and i was a guest at the matthew good concert

    he was playing at the nice fancy old school theatre.

    he gave me a photo pass and a backstage pass and it was terrific

    and if memory serves there were two underage girls who shouldnta

    even been allowed in the place but, whoops, canada.

    i was busy taking photos but one of our friends actually fell for the trap

    and the even though he was kissing both of the girls at the same time

    at one point

    one of their brothers was a bartender there and got super mad at him

    and threatened to beat him up in a violent way.

    when i got home to america i did my laundry and noticed the pass

    was stuck to the bottom of my hamper.

    its been there ever since.

    i believe that trip was also the first time i ever tried sushi.

  2. Monday, July 23, 2007

    im off to canada. 

    vancouver, canda, bc

    i have a really good hotel thanks to priceline.com which id never used before for… well.. nothing really, but i was sorta stressed out and karisa suggested them and i got a good place for a very good price. and it was easy.

    i have a housesitter, i have the maid coming, all i need to do is pack and launder some sheets and towels for my guest and i’m off.

    whats quite unusual about this excursion is that i believe ive secured two dates. you never know if these things are true until you’re actually right there sitting across with them looking into their eyes saying

    if id known you were going to wear something so low cut i would have done the same.

    anyways now im stressed about that because my budget didnt really factor in two dates with two hot babes.

    so here is something that i came up with, inspired by raymi, indirectly.

    theres nothing i like better than drawing on mix cds.

    and raymi has convinced me that this is actually art.

    she said, it doesnt matter what the music is on the mix cd, people would love your art.

    so since id like to take these babes out on hot dates in vancougar, and since raymi says that you might actually like tony pierce original artwork on the front of a mix cd,

    oh lets say the official laist bbq summer mix tape cd

    then perhaps this might be the time to make those available for a limited time.

    1 for $15
    2 for $25

    free shipping

    will i be blogging from canada? let me tell you a little something. i have been blogging for 13 months straight on laist and i know that the busblog has been effected.

    so for this week while im in vancouver i plan on doing a few things, drinking, hanging out with all of canada, spending the money you give me on beautiful girls, and blogging on the busblog.

    this vacation was meant for this blog. and i totally forgot the magic that this blog could have until my boss noticed how to blog on a book shelf and i signed it and gave it to him and i read my copy later that night to see what hed be reading (my memorys terrible) and i ran across this one that made me so happy

    the stars were out last night. did you see them? speeding through the heavens, spinning at dizzying rates. not saying a thing but sending us a message at one hundred and eighty six thousand miles per second. here i am. here i am. here i am. the opposite of an s-o-s. or is it?

    they say the brightest stars shine strongest right before they die. same goes for flowers. same goes for lies.

    what do you do when you get everything you want she asked me like i was qualified. what do i have? and she said me. twirling with velvet revolutions like a deadhead during space arms out with perfect body language blonde hair twinkling with the glitter of spilt moondust.

    went to the grove to see adam sandlers punch drunk love but it was sold out so we saw igby goes down and were amazed.

    best movie ive seen in a really long time she told me as we flew away to a better place, and i agreed.

    jeff goldblum stole the show and i love it when people steal the show. claire danes looks like shes been fighting a hundred years war and i couldn’t believe how well ryan phillipe has so many different ways to play an asshole.

    black comedy they call a movie like that and its one of the only times where it’s a positive thing to have black as an adjective i told her.

    she said what about my black ferrari?

    i said what about my free ferrari?

    she said what about my first ferrari?

    i said what about my spare ferrari?

    we didn’t fly to my bungalow or the beach house we just kept going higher and higher until we reached the place where prayers are sorted into the thanks and the wants.

    thank you for this incredible girl.

    thank you for this amazing life.

    please let me pass chemistry.

    if you get me out of this shit i promise i’ll never do it again.

    and the prayers kept coming in and the demons had to sort them and they wanted to send them to the wrong place but they couldn’t and that pissed them off more and they suffered and we watched and there was popcorn and there was another culkin tearing up the screen.

    what do you do when your dreams come true whispered a cherub on a smoke break exhaling a long stream of pleasant dreams.

    savor it replied the blue sky.

    remember it said the dead.

    hanging upside down from heaven blowing bubbles that end up as dew

    what do you say when they question your sincerity

    tell em nothing in here is true.

  3. Monday, November 7, 2005

    straight outta compton 

    crazy motherfucker named ice cube. in a band called niggas with attitudes. when im called off, i got a sawed off. squeeze the trigger and bodies are hauled off. you too boy if you fuck wit me. the police are gonna have to get me. off your ass, thats how im going out, for the punk motherfuckers thats showin out, niggaz start to mumble, they wanna rumble, mix em and cook em in a pot like gumbo, goin off on a motherfucka like that, with a gat thats pointed at yo ass, so give up smooth, aint no tellin when im down for the jack move…

    its 832am and this is my last communiquee from sparkling bc. i must say im a little sad to be leaving canada today. and every morning when i wake up theres usually a song in my head that has absolutely nothing to do with how i feel. maybe my brain is singing me nwa because it knows that im going back to the city of angels later today, home of ice cube, home of dre, home of nwa, home of pretty much everything i love.

    but when i was in nyc i fell in love with that little up n coming burg and now im in love with this quaint village, and who knows, when i go back to the city i grew up in in three weeks i will probably fall in love with chicago as well.

    in my wildest dreams i would drive around like john madden in a chauferred tour bus and just go city to city and hang out there until i was bored and meet all of you and write and sample the food and drink the booze and kiss the girls and take pictures and fall in love in every area code just like ive done here.

    last night matt and jenny and their two friends from vegas and i went to a restaurant owned by an iron chef. it looked super cool inside with orange padded walls and dark red seats and furry chandeleirs and hot girls in little black dresses and smiles. somehow the prices werent outrageous, they were what youd expect for a nice meal out. jennys a fashion model so of course she was decked out, as were the nice people from vegas, but matt suprised us all with wearing a shirt tie and jacket.

    because i keep it real i had the eazy-e sheepskin lining flannel over my other flannel but the soft vancouverites didnt say whose that murder rapper that keeps you dancin, with a crime record like charles manson, ak 47 is the tool, dont make me act a motherfuckin fool… they said its matt good eh. and i was barely recognized, just like i like.

    the iron chef knows how to do it. im being told we were at feeni’s. people had tar tar, people had spagatini, my asian girlfriend with the poofy miniskirt had a burger n fries, and matt had pigeon but it was all presented so beautifully that i was really curious how this dude woulda made red beans and rice with collard greens and chitlins – itd probably look like nothing youve ever seen which is why once everyone has buzznet strips on the sides of their blogs – cough cough – that means you – i will take my riches and begin johnny appleseeding soulfood around the great white north, europe, and the central coast of california – my real home.

    the food was great, but the star of the night was the port. matt, we kidded, is so knowledgeable that if you were ever on who wants to be a millionaire you should have him as your lifeline. jenny joked that the rumor was that mark mcgrath asked his manager who should be his lifeline when he appeared on celeb millionaire and his manager said matt no question, and i believe it. he quizzed the young waiter about the year of the port and the waiter said ah we have three and matt was all is it blah blah blah and the waiter hemmed and hawwed and finnaly just brought out all three bottles that they had there and he examined the brands and said we will take this unmarked mysterious bottle, and let me tell you something about tea totallers and mormons and non drinkers, i feel sorry for you because part of life my pretties is kissing exotic girls smoking foreign brands of weed and when youre in rome drinking austrailian port. it was killer.

    because i went to school in isla vista my tolerance of alcohol is what it should be: ridiculously high, so after i ordered a shot of bacardi, neat, midmeal, which raised eyebrows for some reason, and politely sipped it, i was more than ready for the afterdinner port, and as the fates would have it, it was ready for me. it slowdanced beautifully down my throat like a casual tourist and the mist of aftertaste billowed back up to remind me of what was. and like creeper pot after a few minutes the buzz came subtely and strongly and it was delicous. after half a glass i was tipsey and after a full glass the volume of my voice had raised a notch and my smile had grown a good half inch.

    and that is probably why the good book does not advise against drinking, just drinking to excess.

    we all drove back to the good’s for more rum and port and played with the dogs and talked about jet blue because the woman from vegas is a flight attendant, and before i knew it the night was over and i was going to write something but instead i just read a million blogs and the heaviness hit me and i was asleep before i could shut off the laptop and thats the way i like to fall asleep – passed out with a warm feeling in my head and a goofy smile on my face.

    this morning i woke with eazy e dre dre and yella dancing like sugarplums through my inner ear and mc ice cube’s rhymes in my heart which if youre a dream doctor you know that means good things, or in my case great things.

    and i hope before i leave today i will be able to pick up a nice canada sweatshirt or canada scarf or vancouver miniskirted asian girl to take back with me because ive left my heart in vancity. and as i leave believe im stompin but when i come back boy im comin straight outta compton.

    pitt + jenny lee + reena + jenny + matt good